Outcomes and Consequences
by flowk
Summary: AU version of what happened after Allies, with the implications of Sheppard having the ATA gene. Crossover with SG1. An alternate Season 3. Spoilers for anything through first half of Season 3. FINALLY FINISHED!
1. Missing

**Outcomes and Consequences**

**A/N: This is my take on how "Allies" could conclude. It doesn't match any of the synopses out there at this time. **

**Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, its characters and terms, are the intellectual property of others. This is an amateur effort with no infringement intended.  
**

**Missing**

"Shit, that was close!"

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard looked out from his position behind a bulkhead to see wraith darts returning to the landing bay. He had only just been able to hide the F/302 in the back of the hive ship's bay before the first of the darts started returning. Fortunately for him, they were on auto pilot and were taken to the launching tubes automatically.

His next thoughts were unprintable as he realized why the darts had returned: the ship had just gone into hyperspace. He was once again on a hive ship, but this time he didn't know where it was headed.

"Well, more time to find Rodney and Ronon," he thought. With the lack of activity in the landing bay, Sheppard eased back over to the F/302 and took stock of his supplies. Besides the gear in his vest, he had the survival kits under the two ejection seats in the fighter. The equipment was similar to that in an F/16: water, radio, signal flare, knife, compass, etc. He was glad that they added food to the gear since he didn't think he could "live off the land" in a spaceship. He used the camouflage net to cover the F/302, softening its lines to blend in with the organic look of the hive ship. He repacked his vest with Power bars, the knife, the 9 mil and all available ammo, and sat with his eyes closed, visualizing the layout of the hive ship and where his team was likely to be. He'd give anything for a life signs detector and a P90. But he knew this rescue would have to be done the old fashioned way: with a grid search and with stealth. Checking his watch so he could keep track of the elapsed time, he set off to search for his lost teammates.

_Daedalus_

The mood on the _Daedalus_ was grim.

"Sir, course plotted for Atlantis."

"Thank you, lieutenant, stand by." Turning slightly, Colonel Caldwell glanced at the Asgaard member of his crew. "Hermiod, do one more sensor sweep. Is there any indication of debris from an F/302?"

"No, Colonel, the only debris is wraith craft."

"So he might still be out there."

"I'm picking up neither life signs nor vessels at this time."

"Humor me, and do one last sweep." Caldwell settled back into his seat. "I'm the one who has to tell Dr. Weir that I lost both her chief scientist and her chief military officer."

"Yes, Colonel Caldwell," said Hermiod, as he leaned over his controls.

_Atlantis_

"You're sure they got all the gate addresses, including Earth?" Dr. Elizabeth Weir stared intently at Radek Zelenka, willing him to say something else. They had moved the discussion to her office.

"Yes, Dr. Weir. We must assume that Earth's location has been compromised."

"Can their ships make the trip?"

"Yes, they are comparable to the _Daedalus_ if a little slower."

Dr. Weir closed her eyes in resignation as she stepped out of her office to address the technicians in the control room. "Raise the _Daedalus _as soon as she's in range."

"Yes ma'am," said the technician.

_Hive ship_

John Sheppard moved cautiously down the dark halls of the wraith ship. Without the life signs detector, he could not be sure where the wraith were, nor could he find Rodney and Ronon easily. Therefore, he had to check every cell and cocoon. He had decided to move forward from the landing bay, thinking that Rodney would have been near the bridge at the time the ships jumped into hyperspace. He still didn't know why the automatic beam out device had not worked, but most of this mission had gone to hell, so what was one more snafu.

Hearing footsteps approaching, Sheppard ducked behind a pillar, holding his breath and blending into the darkness. He had been fortunate so far, having avoided the wraith. With only the 9 mil handgun he knew he couldn't overcome them easily, and he didn't want to alert them to his presence until he was ready to leave, preferably with his team members intact. As the pair of wraith passed, he eased back into the corridor, reminding himself to keep an eye out for water and food while he searched the ship.

_Atlantis/Daedalus_

"_Daedalus_, this is Atlantis. What's your status?"

"Dr. Weir, this is Colonel Caldwell. We are about 8 hours out. The alliance was a sham, and we were attacked when we came out of hyperspace."

"That is not a surprise. We found a virus in the information downloaded from the wraith. The virus destroyed all the information they had sent to us."

"One moment doctor." Caldwell looked to his lieutenant who began to input queries as she checked the onboard database. She looked up at him and shook her head.

"Our data is also gone," said Caldwell. "So we lost that tactical advantage…"

"It's worse, Colonel. They also took all the gate addresses in the ancient database."

"But they already know where most of those worlds are…"

"No, Colonel, I mean they now know how to reach Earth."

There was a pause as Caldwell considered possible responses.

"Do your scientists have any idea how long it will take them to get there?"

Weir looked to Zelenka who nodded and picked up the conversation.

"Colonel Caldwell, this is Dr. Zelenka. The wraith hive ships do not have ZPMs so their propulsion is comparable to that of the _Daedalus_ under normal drive conditions. They are, however, a little less powerful, so the 18 day trip of the _Daedalus_ will take a hive ship around 22 days.

"OK, that means we have a little leeway. Dr. Weir, have you informed the SGC?"

"Not yet, Colonel, we were going to give you two hours to check in before sending a data burst."

"We will continue on our present course. Please have all data ready for transmission. We will add our tactical information on the two ships that took off. See you in 8 hours, Dr. Weir. _Daedalus _out."

"Atlantis out."

Weir turned to Zelenka. "Get everything together for a transmission. I'll go complete a report on what happened. Also, check with Dr. Beckett to see if he has any additional information on the wraith physiology."

Zelenka nodded, stepped to the doorway, then looked back. "I wonder why the colonel didn't ask Dr. McKay about the speed of the hive ships?" He shrugged and hurried off to compile the needed information

Elizabeth Weir stood frozen for a moment. The blood drained from her face as she realized the implications of that remark. Then she shook herself and moved over to her desk. She opened her laptop and began writing her reports.

_Hive_

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had been on the hive ship for 8 hours and had completed the search of one half of one deck. He had decided to work his way forward and back to the landing bay in a zigzag pattern. That way he could use the landing bay as a base. There were very few wraith in the landing bay while the ship was in hyperspace, so it was the best place to rest. After the first swing, he realized he had been awake over 24 hours and needed some down time. Eating half of a power bar, with a little water, he set his watch for six hours, put it under his ear, and curled up under the edge of the camouflage tarp covering the F/302. In spite of the stress, he immediately went to sleep.

_Atlantis_

"Atlantis, this is _Daedalus_ requesting permission to dock."

"Permission granted, _Daedalus_," acknowledged the technician in the control room. "Dr. Weir would like to see Colonel Caldwell, Colonel Sheppard, and Dr. McKay as soon as possible in the conference room."

"Acknowledged, Atlantis. _Daedalus_ out."

Caldwell shook his head, squared his shoulders, and left for the briefing.

In the briefing room, Elizabeth Weir was staring into space, trying not to panic as she waited for the crew from the _Daedalus_ to arrive. Just as she was about to get up and pace, Colonel Stephen Caldwell entered the room and came to stand in front of her. He was alone.

Elizabeth stood up carefully. "Hello, Colonel. Where are the others? I don't want to start…"

"Elizabeth," said Colonel Caldwell.

She blanched. Caldwell rarely called her Elizabeth, and usually didn't interrupt her.

"They aren't coming. McKay and Dex did not get off the hive ship before it jumped to hyperspace. Colonel Sheppard was in an F/302 engaged with the hive before it left. He disappeared. We found no trace of him after the battle."

Elizabeth sat down suddenly, staring into space.

"…all of them?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I am listing them as missing, presumed dead."

Elizabeth continued to stare at the wall, all color gone from her face. After giving her a few minutes, Colonel Caldwell continued.

"Dr. Weir, is the data ready for the transmission to Earth?"

"What? Oh, yes, Colonel. My report has been attached to Dr. Zelenka's, and we have included all scans of the ship. Is your report ready?"

"Yes, I'll have my lieutenant transmit it now." Suiting action to words, he contacted the _Daedalus_ for the information.

"Dr. Weir, we have received the data from _Daedalus_," said the control room technician.

"Acknowledged." She tapped her earpiece. "Dr. Zelenka, this is Weir."

"Go ahead Dr. Weir," said Zelenka.

"The data from the _Daedalus_ is being transferred to you at this time. Please put it with our data and prepare the message for Earth."

"I've received the data and am now running the compression algorithms. I will be up shortly. Zelenka out."

"He's putting it together now, Colonel," said Weir turning to face the _Daedalus_ commander. She was still pale, and her hands trembled slightly, so she clasped them together on her desk.

Caldwell nodded in acknowledgement. "I leave the transmission in your capable hands. Now, I am going to make best speed back to Earth since we probably have an attack on our hands."

"Good luck, Colonel," said Weir, as she turned to her laptop, not really reading the screen.

Caldwell hesitated, then reached over and grasped her shoulder. He was gone before she even recognized the gesture.

Dr. Zelenka, standing in the control center, watched Colonel Caldwell leave Dr. Weir's office and leave for the docking pier. He waited a few minutes, then approached her office and knocked. She startled slightly and looked up from her laptop, bidding him enter. To be fair, however, she had not read a word on the screen for the last fifteen minutes.

"Dr. Weir, the data has been sent to Earth. We were able to save some small parts of the wraith schematics before the worm totally destroyed them, so we sent those along as well. With the scans from the _Daedalus_ it might be enough information for Earth to mount a defense." Dr. Zelenka paused, not sure if she heard him.

"Thank you, Dr. Zelenka. I know Earth will appreciate your efforts." She continued to stare at her laptop.

He hesitated before leaving, and she noticed. Glancing up, she said, "Was there something else?"

Hesitating again, Zelenka asked "Uh, did Colonel Caldwell mention taking Rodney with him?"

Startled again, Elizabeth realized neither Radek, nor anyone else on Atlantis for that matter, knew that Sheppard, McKay, and Dex were missing. Yes, presumed dead, but she didn't have to tell them that yet.

"Dr. Zelenka, Colonel Caldwell said that the _Daedalus_ was attacked on emerging from hyperspace and Dr. McKay's automatic beam-out device did not work. He considers Rodney and Ronon missing."

Zelenka sat down hard in the chair in front of her desk.

"What about Colonel Sheppard? I did not see him either."

Elizabeth swallowed. "He is missing as well." She paused. "Radek, I need to inform Teyla before she hears from someone else. Please don't mention this situation yet. I will send out an official notification soon."

Zelenka nodded. "Yes, Dr. Weir." He stood up. "I'll just go back to the lab now and continue working on the wraith data."

"Thank you Doctor." Tapping her earpiece, Elizabeth Weir spoke again. "Teyla, Major Lorne, and Dr. Beckett, will you please report to the briefing room?"

She heard their acknowledgements and closed her laptop. Then she leaned her elbows on her desk and put her head in her hands. How was she going to explain to them something she couldn't accept herself?

_Hive ship_

The sound of his watch alarm in his ear jerked John Sheppard awake. He was disoriented at first, then he realized where he was and the adrenaline surge finished waking him up. He took a few minutes to consider his search activity. He had started forward because Rodney would have been near the bridge. Also, from his memory of the hive ship schematics, as well as previous experience, he knew the aft area was mostly engines and storage. He remembered the ship had around 20 decks, but at least five were wraith "quarters" or storage, or whatever they called their living/hibernation space. Even searching half of the ship, 15 decks would take awhile. Grabbing his gear, he set off to make another swing forward.

----------

._.. to be continued_


	2. Part of a Rescue

**Part of a Rescue **

_Atlantis_

Elizabeth Weir started her day early. Actually, she had not really ended the day before, she just kept going with coffee. The need to notify the rest of the Atlantis staff about the missing men concerned her. Death notifications, while painful, were final. To say someone was missing was always much harder. Hope kept surfacing only to be dashed every time they didn't come back. Finally, she decided to notify the expedition members by email.

**To all personnel: As some of you may know, the wraith reneged on our alliance and left a worm that destroyed all the data they had sent us. What you may not know is that the _Daedalus _was attacked when it emerged from hyperspace, and the two attacking hives quickly left the area. I regret to inform you that Dr. Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex were on the hive ship when it jumped to hyperspace. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was engaged with the enemy at the same time. All three are missing at this time. You will be informed as more information is available. – Elizabeth Weir**

She couldn't bring herself to put in "presumed dead." Nor did she want to share the information about the wraith having the location of Earth. Those facts could wait.

_Hive Ship_

By his calculations, John had spent four days searching the hive ship for Rodney and Ronon. He had covered two decks completely and was now headed to the next higher deck. For the most part, the corridors were dark with many irregular turns. This layout provided him with plenty of hiding places as long as he heard the wraith before they saw him. Unfortunately, it also meant he had many alcoves and cells to check. So far his luck had held though he still had to ration his food and water. He was beginning to get really hungry. So far the hunger had not affected his strength, but it was just a matter of time.

Around the next turn he suddenly hit a corridor that looked more like those on the _Daedalus_. The walls were straighter and smoother. While that made it easier to search, he realized he was exposed until he reached the end. Just as he was half-way down, he heard steps approaching. "Crap," he thought as he looked desperately for a place to hide. Finally, he looked up and realized the ceilings were open and offered cover. Leaping in desperation, he managed to grab a pipe and pull himself up just as the wraith came around the corner.

Barely breathing, Sheppard froze on his precarious perch until they passed by. Taking the first breath he'd taken in five long minutes, he began to take in his surroundings, realizing he was standing on pipes that could be the fuel or life support systems of the hive. "Or water!" he thought. Moving carefully, he followed the pipes down the hall to a place where they dropped into what appeared to be an access closet of some kind with valves. Cautiously he opened one of the valves, breathing a sigh of relief as he found water.

He completed his searching for that day by filling up his canteens and other water storage containers. "One problem down, several more to go," he thought as he once again prepared for rest.

_Atlantis_

"Unscheduled off world activation," said the technician as the Stargate began to light up.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir jumped from her desk and went to the balcony to observe. It had been seven days now, but she still hoped whenever an unplanned activation occurred.

"We are reading Major Lorne's IDC." The technician looked up to her for confirmation.

Stifling her despair, Elizabeth gave the command to lower the shield. Major Lorne and his team had been on a routine check to a planet of one of their allies. An early arrival usually meant injuries or other unexpected situations.

As the team came through the gate, Elizabeth saw that one soldier was being supported by two others. "Medical team to the Gateroom," she said into her earpiece, and was pleased when Dr. Beckett's staff responded so quickly.

Major Lorne strode up to her office to give a brief report. "The mission went as planned until the last day. I'm afraid Jones managed to break a leg while trying to demonstrate hang gliding with one of the villager's tarps. Needless to say, he was less than successful."

"Thank you, Major, I am glad it wasn't more serious. Now go get checked out by Beckett. Full briefing in two hours." She could see his appreciation for the extra time to get cleaned up. The extra time also gave her a chance to get her emotions under control again.

Seven days. One week. As Elizabeth sat down to her laptop again, she kept telling herself she needed to control this hope. "Missing presumed dead, Elizabeth" she told herself.

Just then Teyla Emmagen knocked on the door with Dr. Zelenka behind her.

"I heard there was an unscheduled off-world activation…" said Teyla.

Elizabeth looked up, realizing she had to kill their hope as she had to kill her own. "It was Major Lorne's team returning early. There was an accident, and one of the team has a broken leg."

Teyla's face fell, and Zelenka turned to go back to his lab.

"One moment…" Teyla and Zelenka both paused near the door.

Elizabeth Weir breathed in deeply, then said "We need to make some decisions on a suitable memorial service."

"Surely it is too soon," said Teyla, moving back to Elizabeth's desk. "Only seven days have passed. It is possible Rodney and Ronon are still on the hive ship, and Colonel Sheppard could be as well. We do not know their fate."

"Yes, that is true. But we must face the strong possibility that they will not be coming back. I think we can put off the ceremony for a few weeks, but we need to prepare." Elizabeth glanced away so that the others could not see the moisture in her eyes.

Teyla and Radek looked thoughtful. "I will review some of McKay's notes," said Radek. "He would want them mentioned."

"And I will prepare something about R-Ronon," said Teyla. Elizabeth had never heard her stutter before. "I can also provide some stories about Colonel Sheppard, if you like."

Elizabeth sighed quietly. "I think we will need stories and thoughts from everyone. Could you quietly spread the word?"

The other two nodded and slowly left her office.

_Hive_

It had been nine days since Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had landed on the hive ship. Hunger was now a regular companion, but he was trying to save some of the Power Bars for Rodney if, rather when, he found them. As he prepared to continue his search, he wondered, for the fiftieth time, "Where are they going?" He started on his next swing through fifth deck.

As he eased down yet another corridor with cocoons, he thought he saw a glimpse of blue – _science_ blue. Hurrying over to the cocoon, he could just make out Rodney's features under the web-like material in which he was held. He glanced to the cocoons on each side of the scientist and was relieved to find Ronon on the left in a similar state. He just had time to sigh in relief before he heard more footsteps. Taking cover in an alcove across the corridor, he saw two wraith come by and stop in front of the two cocoons.

He heard a growl from the cocoon holding Ronon.

"Quiet, Satedan. You will be released in time to see us begin our feeding on Earth." The two continued down the corridor while Ronon struggled helplessly.

John eased across the corridor and approached Ronon carefully. "Ronon, can you hear me?"

"Sheppard!"

"Yeah, thought I'd come along for the ride. Didn't know it would be so long, though." While trading quips, the colonel had been looking for a control panel for the cocoon. If he could avoid cutting the webbing, the wraith might not notice they were missing two entrees. Yes! He quickly pushed and prodded the control until the thin webbing and the stronger limb-like barrier began retracting.

"These things are uncomfortable."

"Not meant for the long haul, right?"

"Huh. You heard that their destination is Earth?" As he was speaking, Ronon finished pushing away the clinging fibers and stepped out of the wall niche. He turned to the scientist's cocoon.

"Wait a minute," said Sheppard, shooting his hand out to stop Ronon. "Before we release him, I want to be sure I know everything I can. We also don't have much food, and I'm worried about his hypoglycemia." He pulled the warrior across the hall into a shallow room, stopping to listen for any more wraith. "OK, tell me everything that happened and how they found out about Earth."

While Ronon recounted their experiences on the hive ship prior to their capture, Sheppard kept his eyes and ears focused on the corridor and on the cocoon that held Rodney.

"McKay was not sure how they got the location. They pushed us in these cocoons shortly before the _Daedulus_ arrived, and we were stunned before we learned anything."

"OK, sounds like you guys weren't expecting this either. At least, nothing gave Rodney a hint. I knew the beam out device hadn't worked, but I wasn't sure why." John paused a moment, focusing back on Ronon. "Now tell me about the cocoon. You two have been in there for at least nine days. Did you get food and water? Were you in stasis? What can I expect when we release Rodney?"

Ronon thought a minute while also scanning the corridor and listening for footsteps. "We weren't in a true stasis because we would wake up. There were two of those branch things that were really pipes with water and some kind of nutrient mix. When we got desperate, we could suck on them for nourishment. McKay wasn't too happy about it."

John smirked. He could imagine McKay's complaining. "Tell me something I don't know. OK, do you know if there is any real food on this ship? I remember a table with food on the first hive I saw, but my attention was on other things at the time."

"Like what?"

"Like how not to get the life sucked out of me. Anyway, I don't know where the food came from or why it was there."

"They may have raw materials somewhere that they use to make that nutrient stuff. After all, they have to keep their human prey alive enough to nourish them when they eventually feed."

"Any ideas where?"

"No, but McKay is the one who studied the schematics the most."

"OK, then we'll wake him up."

"He might be drugged."

"Drugged? With what?

Ronon shrugged. We weren't in stasis but we slept a lot. The food could have been drugged. When you reached me I had only just awakened and hadn't eaten anything."

"Ok, a drugged McKay. That explains why we haven't heard from him yet. We've got to think of a way to keep him quiet, though. So far the wraith don't know I'm here, and I'd like to keep it that way until we get off this ship."

"You don't think they'll notice they're missing two of their prey?"

"Not if we can stuff something else in those cocoons." John stopped scanning the halls and glanced at Ronon. "How do you feel about taking down a wraith by hand? No noise."

Ronon flexed and produced two knives, one rather long, and both sharp. "I feel fine."

"OK, then we'll wait for the next one to come by. We have to take him out before he can alert his pals through their telepathic connection or whatever."

Just then footsteps were heard in the corridor. Ronon and Sheppard withdrew into the shadows. John listened carefully and signaled that there seemed to be only one wraith. Just as the wraith passed their position, Ronon leaped on the wraith, driving his long knife into its neck. The wraith reached back for him, but Ronon got to his spinal cord before he could offer more than a token response. The wraith collapsed.

"Nice work," said Sheppard. "Why didn't you mention you could do that?"

"It only works about half the time and only if you're really close. I don't like being really close."

"Good point."

The two of them shoved the wraith body into the niche and activated the panel. The branches began to weave in front of the body, and soon the webbing covered its features.

"Think one will do for now?" Ronon was cleaning his knife on his leggings.

"Uh, sure. Don't want to do overkill," said Sheppard.

Ronon grinned fiercely. "Overkill sounds good to me."

John turned his attention to Rodney, indicating to Ronon to keep watch. He activated the panel and again watched as the branches and webbing began to disappear. He stepped up next to McKay's face and whispered loudly.

"Hey McKay! Wake up! The cavalry has arrived."

Dr. Rodney McKay stirred from his sleep and opened his mouth. Sheppard quickly put his hand over it.

"Wait a minute. We're getting you out of here, but we have to do it quietly. Quiet, in case you're wondering, means no talking. Can you do that?"

Rodney gave Sheppard a withering look and nodded. John carefully removed his hand.

"It's about time someone showed up. I haven't eaten anything in nine days, except for this syrupy stuff in a tube, and the wraith have betrayed us and are headed to Earth. We are so screwed. Do you have any idea how much work. . ."

John shoved a Power bar in McKay's mouth.

"Nice to see you too, Rodney. Now keep your trap shut until we are out of the main corridor of this ship and someplace relatively safe."

McKay nodded, grateful for the Power bar, and the three set off for the landing bay.

_SGC—Cheyenne Mountain Complex_

The mood in the briefing room was tense. General Hank Landry looked around the table at his flagship team. Would they be able to pull another rabbit out of the hat?

"Colonel Carter, have you had time to analyze the information transmitted from Atlantis?"

Sam glanced at the papers in front of her then back to the General. "Yes sir, and we've reviewed information from their earlier transmissions as well. From the reports of Dr. Beckett, it appears that the wraith are humans that were infected with some kind of virus or enzyme from an insect indigenous to the Pegasus galaxy. They are a mixture of wraith and human DNA. The wraith DNA, however, has removed all the normal aging processes that are part of the human genetic makeup. They have remarkable recuperative powers and are very difficult to kill. They also exist on energy that they drain from their victims. They can go for some time between feedings. Right after feeding, however, they are even harder to kill. In one of the reports, a wounded wraith used the act of feeding to heal itself. The prey, of course, was killed."

Colonel Mitchell took up the report. "They attack a world from what is called a hive ship. It acts like a carrier with smaller vessels called darts that are launched from space, enter the atmosphere, and perform the actual captures. The Pegasus natives refer to the practice as culling. The darts swing low over an area and capture humans in an energy beam. They are held in the dart in that form until they return to the hive where they rematerialize through a reverse procedure and are then taken to cells or cocoons. In some cases the darts land and wraith feed directly on the human population."

There was a pause as everyone considered this new threat to Earth.

Carter continued. "We have looked at the scans taken by the _Daedalus _as well as the remaining data the Atlantis' scientists were able to recover. The hive ships are mostly organic and have some self-repairing capabilities. There are weaknesses, however. Hermiod sent us more information on their shield frequencies and his efforts to break them. The best plan of attack Atlantis has found is to beam in a nuclear warhead."

Mitchell sighed. "Is it too late to direct these guys to the Ori?"

Landry ignored him. "What are our plans so far?"

Carter responded. "The _Daedalus_ will be here in about nine days. The _Odyssey_ is still undergoing repair but its weapons systems are online. Both will focus on the hive ships. They each have a full complement of F-302s that can be used to target the darts."

Daniel looked up from studying his papers. "The Ancient Base in Antarctica is also a possibility. We are assembling the folks with the strongest ATA gene to be ready to handle the chair."

"Are we sure the chair will work again?"

"Well, so far those who have tried are able to launch only one drone at a time. We're not sure why Jack could launch so many. It is obvious that the drones were meant to overwhelm an enemy in a swarm, much like bees swarm around an invader. We're not sure if the limitation is the person using the chair or if we are out of drones. Dr. McKay was doing a complete workup on the chair before he left for Atlantis. Unfortunately, no one has been able to pick up his research."

There was silence as the group considered the limitations and possibilities.

General Landry looked at Teal'c and Carter. "Is there any way the Jaffa or the Tok'ra could help us with ships? And what about the Asgard?"

"Sir, we haven't heard from the Tok'ra or the Asgard since the battle at the supergate," said Carter.

Teal'c continued. "And as you know, the Jaffa are divided on the teachings of the Ori. However, I will make contact with those I know on their council."

"Well I think additional effort should be put into contacting them all. Meanwhile, let's keep working on the chair, and we should be sure to have a supply of nuclear warheads if it comes to that. Well, you have your jobs, people. Let's get to it. Dismissed."

Those at the table rose as Landry left the room. Glancing at each other, the team members followed.

_Hive_

"Well, here it is. Home sweet home." John Sheppard gestured to his small camp next to the F-302. "Few wraith come in here between cullings since they don't need the darts. So, I figure we're relatively safe."

"I always have trouble with terms like 'relatively,'" said McKay. "They imply a lack of precision that is sloppy." Stopping a minute, he sniffs the air. "And what is that wonderful aroma you have discovered? Is that our next meal by any chance?"

"Can it, McKay." Sheppard walked over and sat down against the spacecraft. "That odor is called Old Fighter Pilot. I've been in the same uniform for nine days, and things start to smell. You're not exactly crispy clean yourself. As for our next meal, Ronon and I were talking about that. We think they have food on this ship to keep their human cargo alive for later feeding. We just have to find it. We were hoping you had some insight from perusing the hive schematics earlier."

"The schematics were in my laptop which you didn't happen to pick up, did you? I thought not. We were looking for places to set off the virus, so I was concentrating on their ventilation system. I don't remember too much about the rest of the ship except that storage and engines are in the rear. They might have some food stored there. With my luck, it will all be citrus."

"Well, it looks like we'll have to do some exploring. Ronon, are you up to some investigation? I'm not ready to sleep just yet."

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Wait a minute. Do you mean you two are going to go foraging while I stay here and guard the, what, camp?"

With exaggerated patience, Sheppard said, "Yes, Rodney. If we go alone we will be quieter. You will have no one to talk to, so you will be quieter. And quiet means we might not get caught. So just sit down. If you want something to do, try to think of a way to sabotage this ship."

They left Rodney sputtering about his importance to the universe as they set off for the aft cargo areas.

_Atlantis_

As usual, Dr. Weir was in her office. Carson had become aware that she was seldom anywhere else, including her quarters or the commissary. People were noticing that she was looking thin. Hence the tray in his hands as he approached her door.

Elizabeth looked up at the knock, saw Carson and smiled. "Come in. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Actually, Dr. Weir, there is something ye need to do for yourself. You have na been eating or resting. I know ye are worried about them, but the rest of the mission needs ye healthy." He placed the tray on her desk, and she saw soup, bread, and juice.

"You didn't even bring coffee?"

"Ye don't need the caffeine since you need to be goin' ta sleep. So eat up, lass, and don't make me pull medical rank. You would not enjoy a feeding tube."

Elizabeth looked at Dr. Beckett. Seeing the concern in his eyes, she quickly glanced at the tray again. She had to blink away a sudden rush of tears.

"I just can't get them out of my mind, and it is so hard not to hope."

"Aye, I know. If ye need to talk, come find me. I'm always available for ye. Now eat up and go to bed."

"Yes, sir." Elizabeth tried to smile as she pulled the tray toward her. Carson moved toward the door.

"Carson?"

He looked around and saw her dipping some bread in the soup.

"Thank you."

Their eyes met in understanding, and he nodded as he opened her door and left. She watched him go down the stairs before she dropped the bread, pushed the tray away, put her head on her desk, and let herself weep once again.


	3. Waiting and Planning

**A/N: Since "No Man's Land has aired, this is now AU.**

** Thanks to all who have submitted reviews. **

** Those looking for Shweir will find it in future sections.**

**Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, and all characters and locations, are the intellectual property of others. **

**------------------------------------------- **

**Waiting and Planning**

_Hive_

"You know, we're going to need a plan for when we get to Earth, assuming Earth is their destination," said Sheppard, around a mouthful of something purple.

John, Ronon, and Rodney were sitting around the F-302, munching on some kind of melon that John and Ronon had managed to find the previous day. It wasn't much, but it helped stretch their resources, and there were some more possibilities in the cargo area.

"Oh, it is, Colonel. The wraith took great glee in informing me of their intention. Practically rubbing my nose in it after all the work I did on analyzing their ship." McKay eyed the fruit suspiciously as he bit into it. "How long have we been in hyperspace?"

"About 12 days by my calculations. I've tried to keep track of time, but I could have missed something."

"Ok, it will take a hive ship almost 22 days to get to Earth, so we have 10 more."

"Wait, how do you know it will take 22 days?"

"Excuse me, did I or did I not just spend a week analyzing the schematics of a hive ship. Their engines are not quite as powerful as those of the _Daedalus_, so 22 days. Back to the more important question, that means we have to have enough food and water to survive, we have to not get caught, and we stay out of trouble for 10 days. Given your track record, Colonel, I would say our chances are not good."

Ronon glanced over at Sheppard and smirked. The scientist could certainly go to the bad points of any situation.

"Rodney, you forgot that to get off of this ship we have to commandeer a dart. Three of us won't fit in my F-302. Then we have to fly down to Earth without being shot down. So, there are some additional positive thoughts for that narrowly focused brain of yours."

"Do we have to take the dart? I'm not so crazy about using an energy beam as a way to travel."

"So now you're channeling Dr. Bones McCoy?"

"Who?" said Ronon, while McKay scowled.

"Rodney, I really don't think you and Ronon will fit in the rear seat of the F-302, so that leaves the dart. We've done it before, so it should work just fine." John took a swig of water and passed the canteen around.

"I think I have an idea about the being shot down," said McKay, as he passed the water to Ronon. "We can take out the IFF transponder on the F-302 and hook it up to the dart. That way the other flying grunts will at least ask before they shoot."

"Ok, what about when we get there? I was going to go to the Ancient outpost in Antarctica, but it might be better to drop you two off in Colorado."

"No no no no no. You are going to need me to help with the chair. I did a lot of study on that chair before we left, and I think I have some ideas about how to get more out of it."

"There are a few problems with that plan. I'm not sure if you realize this, McKay, but it is winter in Antarctica, and the temperature is going to be brutal. And we are not exactly dressed for a winter holiday." Sheppard made some pointed glances at their current attire. Ronon and he had stripped to the waist, while McKay was in a t-shirt.

"I'd forgotten how cold it was."

"We don't have any cold weather gear, and if I remember correctly, the winter temperature can go down to 40 degrees below 0. I will have to transport you to a point very close to the base tunnel if you even want a chance to survive. After I drop you, I have to loop back to land. Add to that the problem that it is dark in the winter. Since the dart doesn't have a clear canopy, that's not too big a deal for me. I'll be navigating by instrument anyway. However, you have to find the base quickly, and they have to be able to find you."

"Well, Colorado is lovely this time of year."

"Oh, no, I think I will need you with me. All I'm saying is that there are more risks than you have outlined."

"You know, Sheppard, you're supposed to be the optimist in this team. I am perfectly capable of pointing out the problems with our various schemes on my own.

The men cleaned up what mess they had made, mostly peelings, and prepared for what had become their regular day. John and Rodney would go back to the storage closet John had found earlier to collect water. Ronon would stay with the ship until they returned, then he and John would seek out more food. They were not able to carry much with them, so they had had to make a trip every day or every other day to keep up with their needs. They were still successfully evading the wraith, but each day increased the likelihood of their discovery.

"OK, Rodney, let's get moving." Sheppard picked up the canteens and started toward the bow of the ship.

"Great, a genius with a PhD and I'm a glorified water boy." McKay grabbed the other containers and took off after the Colonel.

_Atlantis_

Teyla was feeling the loss of her teammates keenly. Picking up her food in the mess hall, she looked around for someone to sit with and was suddenly struck with how alone she was.

"Please join me, Teyla." Elizabeth Weir had just picked up a tray with a bowl of soup and had stopped when she saw the Athosian. "I don't want to eat alone, and you may be the only person here who understands."

Teyla gave a small smile in understanding, and followed Dr. Weir to a small table against the windows and out of the main flow of people.

They sat down and began to eat. Or at least they picked up their utensils. Teyla was stirring her food, and Elizabeth looked out the window. They were quiet for some time.

"I am not sure what to do if they do not return." Teyla's voice was soft but anguished. She put down her fork and looked at Elizabeth. "I had not realized how much I have become a part of a team. While I can and will return to my people, I will carry an emptiness with me."

Teyla's words echoed Elizabeth's thoughts so closely that she had to look away before answering. "Teyla, you will always have a place on Atlantis. But we must not give up hope."

"I realize that, but it has been two weeks.

"Yes, but we can't give up." She took a sip of soup, then put down her spoon. It tasted like dishwater. Looking up, she saw her feelings mirrored in Teyla's face, and looked away before she lost control. As she tried to think of something to continue the conversation, she noticed Teyla's gym bag. Thinking of one of John's favorite pastimes, she considered the other woman.

"Teyla, would you mind teaching me stick fighting?"

The Athosian leader looked up, startled. "You wish to learn how to fight?"

"Yes, it is something that I have been meaning to ask you. I have not been exercising enough recently, and I thought it would be a way to deal with stress."

Seeing through her, Teyla responded, ". . .and a way to feel closer to Colonel Sheppard." She looked down, "and Ronon."

Elizabeth paused. She had forgotten that Teyla might be especially fearful for Ronon. "Yes," she said. "Will you teach me?"

Teyla looked up with a half-smile. "Yes, I will."

"When do you have time?"

"Would now be too soon?"

Elizabeth mentally checked her calendar. "No, now would be fine. I'll go change and meet you in the gym in 20 minutes."

"You should finish your soup. I will not make it easy for you."

Elizabeth looked down at the now tepid soup, and took a few more sips. "I'm still not too hungry just now. Maybe after our session."

Teyla nodded, and they both stood up and left their trays, containing most of their lunch, in the scullery area.

Dr. Carson Beckett, seated alone in the corner grabbing a quick lunch, watched them leave. He was going to have to speak to Elizabeth again about eating. Suddenly his earpiece chirped.

"Dr. Beckett, come in please."

"Beckett here."

"One of the _Daedalus_ wounded is in distress."

"On my way." Carson Beckett grabbed his sandwich and ran, all thoughts of Elizabeth Weir's eating habits forgotten.

_Hive_

Sheppard and Ronon crouched behind a bulkhead watching a wraith remove food from the storage facility they had found three days ago.

"I hope he doesn't take it all," said John. "It was hard enough to find the first time."

"We could steal it," said Ronon, once again running his hand over one of his knives.

"Quiet, Ronon, means little or no fighting for you as well as no talking for McKay. Remember, we don't want to be seen."

They continued to watch, and the wraith eventually took his supplies and left the area. The two Atlanteans waited a few more minutes, listening to his footfalls fading in the distance. They then eased over to the store room and checked it for supplies. John opened the door while Ronon kept watch.

"Well, that's it for this bin," said John. "Was that the last one on this level?"

"Yes."

"OK, so we keep going. Up or down?"

"Up," said the Satedan, and he led the way to a hatch leading to the next deck up.

Just as they reached the hatch, it opened from the top and a wraith began to descend. The two men quickly jumped behind a bulkhead and froze. The wraith didn't see them, but it stopped to sniff the air, curious. Eventually it moved on down the hall.

Sheppard and Dex emerged from hiding, breathing deeply. "That's it," said John in disgust. "We've got to find some way to at least wipe ourselves down. Things are getting ripe."

Ronon snorted and led the way up the ladder to the next deck and possible food.

_Atlantis_

The briefing had been going on for the past hour and a half and for once, Elizabeth Weir was not really paying attention. When the last scientist had finished describing, in infinite detail, what they hoped to find on the next planet, she closed the meeting and dismissed the science team, indicating to Major Lorne, Teyla, Dr. Beckett, and Dr. Zelenka that she wanted them to stay.

"I want a few updates on some other things. Carson, how are the wounded?"

Dr. Beckett still looked tired though all of the remaining casualties were on the mend. "We still have 10 _Daedalus_ personnel in the infirmary, but I expect to be able to discharge the last of them in one week."

"Major Lorne, have you been able to fill in the remaining teams?"

"Yes ma'am," he said. "All teams have a full complement except SGA-1."

Teyla spoke up. "I asked that Major Lorne wait to designate another team as SGA-1. In the meantime, I have volunteered to go with any team needing my help, and I will help train new teams if needed."

Elizabeth looked at Teyla with understanding before turning back to Major Lorne. "I think we need to resume our explorations. We still need another ZPM, really two, to bring Atlantis up to full strength. Dr. Zelenka, is there anything on long-range scanners? We don't know if the hive alerted the other wraith to our presence."

Radek Zelenka looked up from his laptop and shook his head. "All scans are clear at this time. I agree that another ZPM would help in our preparation for their inevitable arrival."

"Ok, Major Lorne, please prepare a team to explore the next planet on our list."

Everyone prepared to leave with the usual shuffling of chairs and paper, when Elizabeth looked up at them one more time."

"I have one last thing to bring up." She paused, schooling her features into her diplomatic mask. "I know you have wondered about a memorial service for our missing men. I have decided that the best time for such a service will be when the _Daedalus_ returns. By that time, they will have been missing over a month. Also, if they are still alive, the _Daedalus_ will be in a position to know and affect a rescue if possible. I want to thank you, Major Lorne and you, Dr. Zelenka for taking over the leadership duties in your areas. That's all." She stood up and left for her office. The others glanced at each other then filed out behind her.

As Elizabeth entered her office, her eye fell on the small pot John Sheppard had given her two years ago for her birthday. She recalled the day in their first year on Atlantis. She barely knew him, and did not yet fully appreciate his role in the expedition. They were just finding their way. Yet he had done something kind, something that showed her he was more than he appeared. Since then, she had used the pot for the ashes of her older self, knowing that's what she would have wanted. As she opened her laptop to read yet more reports, she blinked away the tears blurring the screen, hoping she did not need to use it as an urn again in the near future.

_Hive_

Rodney was bent over the F-302 when Ronon and Sheppard came back from yet another food foraging trip.

"Hey, I think I have a solution to the sabotage question. . ." he started, then he looked up to see John leaning on Ronon and limping badly. "Oh great, you had to go and get beat up again. What happened this time?"

Ronon eased Sheppard down next to the ship and moved to retrieve their limited first aid kit. John, grimacing, began to ease down his BDUs.

"Oh, I so do not need to see this. Two-week old underwear with the lovely addition of blood."

"Can it, Rodney," said Sheppard. He was looking at a deep gash on the outside of his thigh. Ronon stepped over with a bandage and some alcohol wipes. The kit didn't have anything more elaborate.

Answering McKay's earlier question, John began his tale while wiping blood away from the wound. Unfortunately, the pain made his recitation less than smooth.

"We were -- ouch! – exploring another deck when we heard a wraith coming." His breath hissed as Ronon took another alcohol wipe and continued cleaning. Ronon's medical touch needed some work.

"Anyway, we looked for a place to hide and had to sprint for a hatch in the floor. Damn, Ronon, not so hard!" John tried to keep himself from grabbing his leg. "Since they were about to come around the corner, we dived down the hole. I caught my leg on some kind of brace and it ripped, pants, skin, everything." He pulled out the gauze, created a pad, and began wrapping the wound. Rodney was not impressed with how quickly the pad was soaked in blood.

"That's it? You put all our lives in danger by jumping down a hole?"

Sheppard looked at McKay like he had sprouted another head. "Look, Rodney, we didn't have much choice, the gash isn't too deep, and the wraith still don't know we're here, so I think things worked out pretty well."

"Once again you used your brawn instead of your brain. We'll be on this ship a minimum of five more days. We can't afford for you to get an infection. You are our only way out of here since neither Ronon nor I can fly a wraith dart."

"Rodney, cool it. It will be ok." Sheppard looked for a way to distract McKay. He didn't want to admit the same thoughts had crossed his mind. "When we got here, didn't you say you had a way to sabotage the hive?"

"Oh, yes, and it's so obvious it's brilliant, if I do say so myself." Rodney gave his usual jaunty half-smile and walked over to the cockpit of the F-302. "All we have to do is overload the engines. The fuel left in the ship will explode, taking out this bay and any darts left. Given the location of this bay in the hive, there is a good chance the explosion will be strong enough to crack the ship in half. At the very least it will cover our escape."

Sheppard sighed, glad Rodney had been deflected. His leg was hurting, and he didn't want to move it yet. "Can you put some kind of timer on that? We want enough time to get out of here before it blows."

"No, Colonel, I want to go down with the ship. Of course I can put a timer on it! That's what I was working on when you two fumbled in as usual. Once the overload starts, we'll have ten minutes to get out of here. If I wait until you bring the dart down to the bay, we should have plenty of time."

Ronon looked over at Sheppard, holding up a packet of Tylenol. Sheppard shook his head. If he ended up with an infection, he would need relief from a fever more than he needed pain relief now.

"Great, Rodney. Now if you would just help me over to that crate, I'll settle down and we can plan out our last five days on this pitiful excuse for a spaceship."

In the end, Ronon gave Sheppard a hand, and the three of them divided their tasks, allowing for an injured man.

As the three settled down for what they declared as "night", John Sheppard knew he wouldn't sleep much. He looked at his leg and hoped Rodney was wrong about infections.

TBC


	4. Best Laid Plans

** A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed. They are appreciated. This chapter continues some crossover with SG1. I have tried to be consistent with the series, but in my version Antarctica still has a ZPM****  
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**Disclaimer: Stargate: SG1, Stargate: Atlantis, all their characters and locations, are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended to infringe on any of their copyrights.**

**-------------------------------------------------- **

**Best Laid Plans **

_SGC, Cheyenne Mountain_

Daniel came into the briefing room late to see that SG1 and General Landry were already in place.

"Sorry I'm late," he said as he took a seat.

Landry just looked at him and said, "Colonel Mitchell, what's our status?"

"The _Daedalus_ just arrived and we are going over its status at this time. They lost one F-302 in the previous battle, and they had quite a bit of damage. They repaired a lot while en route, but we are helping with the final push. The _Odyssey_ is in orbit with F-302s ready. They can maneuver with sublight engines only, but that shouldn't be a problem. Both ships have a full complement of pilots." He paused. "We have also transported nuclear warheads to both ships for delivery by ring if we can get through their shields."

"Ok, how's the data, Colonel Carter?"

"We have finished the review of what Atlantis was able to salvage and send plus data from the _Daedalus'_ encounter with the hives. There isn't a lot of information, but we have Hermiod's attempts at penetrating their shields. We can build on that. The _Daedalus_ also has some of the retrovirus that they were attempting to introduce to the hive ships. If we have an opportunity, we might be able to try that tactic as well."

"And Dr. Jackson, what is the status of the chair in Antarctica?"

"We have tried every person with the ATA gene in the chair, and none of them can launch more than one drone at a time. We aren't sure what the problem is. The people with the gene therapy can turn on the chair, but aren't able to launch any drones."

The others looked disturbed at this turn of events.

Looking down at his hands, Daniel said, "I think we should ask Jack to help."

General Landry paused, and looked at Colonel Samantha Carter. "Do you think he will come?"

Sam Carter stared him straight in the eye. "Of course he will, sir."

"Teal'c?"

"O'Neill will return to assist us."

"I'd like to go get him, explain our situation with the chair," said Daniel.

Landry made eye contact with each member of his best team, getting nods from Mitchell and Carter.

"Do it," he said. "OK, people, we have a maximum of four days to complete our preparations. Let's get finished in three. Dismissed."

As Landry left the room, Daniel looked at Sam and asked, "Do you want to come with?"

Carter looked down, suddenly uncomfortable. "No, I'm needed here. I'll see you when you get back." With that, she left as well.

Jackson and Mitchell followed her, Daniel to catch a flight to Minnesota, and Mitchell to return to assisting the _Odyssey_.

_Aboard the Hive_

Colonel John Sheppard bent over the cockpit of the F-302, trying to extract the radio. Since he was no longer easily mobile, Rodney and Ronon were now on hunting and gathering duty. He gave a sharp tug, and the unit came out of the cockpit. He limped over to a crate so he could examine the radio for how he could hook it up to a dart. This project was McKay's, but he thought he could give it a start.

As he rested the radio on his lap to get a better look at it, he brushed his wound, setting his leg on fire. He was stripped to his boxers to keep pressure from the gash, so he could easily see the bandage that was now soaked with blood, as well as the angry red lines around the edges of the cut. He drank some water and poured some over his head, carefully avoiding the radio. He was getting a fever, and they still had at least three days to go.

Studiously ignoring his leg, he turned back to the radio and began examining its power connections.

_Somewhere in Minnesota_

Daniel Jackson looked at the cabin in the middle of nowhere. He had been able to track down O'Neill through the Air Force database, and, given the seriousness of the situation, he had received permission to take a helicopter out to the property. Unfortunately, the chopper had to land half a mile away, so he'd walked up the long drive. Approaching the door, he knocked.

The door was jerked open by a surprised Jack O'Neill. He had on a plaid flannel shirt over a t-shirt with jeans that had seen better days. He also had a half peeled potato in his hand.

"Daniel!"

"Uh, hi, Jack. Can I come in?"

O'Neill looked around as if checking that everything was ok, then said "sure."

Daniel stepped into a one room cabin with a loft. The kitchen area was to the left, the stairs to the loft directly in front, and a living/dining area to the right.

"I had no idea you were coming."

"Well, you don't have a phone, so I couldn't call."

Pause. "Right," said Jack as he went back to a pot on the stove. "Let me get this soup finished and we can chat while it simmers." He went back to cutting up the potato.

"Actually, Jack, we don't have that kind of time. You see, the wraith in the Pegasus galaxy have found the coordinates for Earth and are on their way."

"And this affects me how?"

"Well, we've just had a rough battle with the Ori at the super gate, so our ability to defend the planet is not so great. Actually, the _Prometheus_ was destroyed, and the _Odyssey_ was badly damaged. The _Daedalus_ is back, but there are two of these hive ships on the way. So we need the chair."

Jack looked over at Daniel as he stirred in some spices.

"I thought now that you knew about the gene you could find folks to help you out."

Daniel walked over to the stove to smell what was cooking. "Uh, yeah, we have about forty, but they can't launch more than one drone at a time."

Jack took a sip and added a little salt. "I assume you think I could do better?"

Daniel ran his hand over his neck. "Well, at least you've done it before. If nothing else we could put you in the chair and measure its activity compared to others with the gene."

"So you want me to go to Antarctica. Again. Knowing how I feel about it."

"Well, uh, yes, we do. Jack, it's just this one time, and remember that Earth may hang in the balance."

O'Neill dished up a bowl of soup and shoved it at Daniel. "Earth always hangs in the balance. Now eat. I don't want to waste this."

As Daniel began to sip his hot soup, O'Neill grabbed a duffle bag and began to pack.

_Hive_

"I knew you would get some weird wraith infection. And you are the only one who can fly a dart. We are so screwed." Rodney McKay was pacing close to the F-302 as he tore open the last power bar.

"Settle down, McKay. Remember, I fly with my hands and my head, not my legs. I can still get us out of here." Sheppard wiped the sweat off his forehead and grabbed another piece of strange fruit. This type was lime green, and Rodney wouldn't touch it fearing a citrus reaction.

Ronon grunted. "That's if you can get to the dart."

"Well, I've been meaning to talk about that." He peeled the fruit, finding a texture like avocado and a taste like a tangerine. As he took a bite, he leaned forward, grimacing as his leg was jostled.

"Our best estimate puts us three days from Earth. I think we need to take some precautions. First, I think we need to keep watch. We don't want to drop out of hyperspace while we're asleep. So, one person awake at all times." He glanced at Ronon who was smirking. Suddenly he realized Ronon had been keeping watch every time they'd slept.

"Second, I think tomorrow we need to collect as much food and water as we can during the day and then not gather again. We don't want to be scattered on the ship when the wraith start moving toward the darts."

"Great, so now that we're down to citrus my choices are anaphylactic shock or hypoglycemia. At least it won't matter if you splatter me across space since I'll be dead anyway."

Ronon shoved the last of the power bar into McKay's mouth. John nodded his thanks.

"Finally, I'm not going to be able to get upstairs to the dart alone, and I'm afraid it might take me too long. So I think we should move up there tomorrow and install the radio and the IFF transponder."

Ronon raised an eyebrow. "IFF?"

"Identify friend or foe," said Rodney, around a mouthful of power bar. "All military craft have them so they don't accidentally shoot each other when they get trigger happy. Doesn't always work."

"Believe me, it may be the difference between a hostile question and a hostile missile up our asses. Is the F-302 ready to blow?"

"Of course. I completed that work days ago. We just have to set the timer and get out."

"Ok," said Sheppard, holding on to his patience as the pain in his leg throbbed. Then we'll move up to the launching tubes and select a dart. We'll fix it up, gather food, and then sleep up there until we drop out of hyperspace. When that happens, Ronon will get me into the dart, and Rodney will come down here to set the timer. Ronon, you will need to get down here quick after I'm in so I can pick you both up. Is that it?"

"There is only the slight problem of the fever you are developing which will probably have you out of your mind by tomorrow, not that the difference will be noticeable."

Almost gritting his teeth, John said, "That's why we're saving the Tylenol. So I can have a big dose before I fly. Now, I'll take first watch tonight, so you guys go ahead and settle."

Rodney found a spot, curled up and was soon asleep. Ronon stared at Sheppard for awhile and, when he was satisfied he was holding it together, he, too, sacked out.

John Sheppard looked at his teammates and sighed. The fever was getting to him, and the area around the gash was now developing red stripes around it. As he settled down to keep watch, he reviewed their plan, trying to keep his mind off his leg. Gradually, however, his thoughts turned to Atlantis. He wondered how Elizabeth was faring and if he would ever see her again. Given the long shot of this plan, he figured maybe it was ok if she already thought him dead. He wished, however, that there were not so much unsaid between them. Wincing as he moved into a more comfortable position, John leaned back and considered everything he would tell her if he ever got the chance.

_Atlantis_

It was time for the weekly check-in with Earth, and Dr. Elizabeth Weir was not looking forward to it. She moved to the control room with her laptop and checked on all the reports that they would be sending. Finally, she asked the technicians to dial Earth's gate address. As soon as the wormhole was established, she looked into her laptop's camera and hailed the SGC.

"Stargate Command, this is Weir."

"This is Stargate Command. Hello, Dr. Weir." The face of General Hank Landry appeared on the laptop's screen. He looked like he had not slept in some time.

"Good morning, General. I am sending our data now. Please acknowledge."

Landry looked aside, got confirmation, and nodded to her. "The _Daedalus_ arrived two days ago, and we are working to be ready for the wraith. Do you have any additional information on their whereabouts?"

"No, sir. Dr. Zelenka predicted that the hive ships would be slower than the _Daedalus_, by around four days. Therefore, they should appear in about two more days. Our long range scanners have not picked up any more wraith activity in our area, so there is a good chance the two hives did not share their information about Earth with the other hives."

"I certainly hope so. We are currently trying to get the Antarctica chair working, but we aren't having much luck."

Elizabeth glanced away, remembering an excitable scientist telling a cocky Air Force pilot to visualize Earth's place in the solar system. Banishing those thoughts, she turned back to the general to hear him ask about the missing men.

"No, sir, still no word. They have come back from worse, but we are losing hope."

"I understand, Elizabeth." General Landry paused for a moment, noting her thickened voice and tired face. He knew she wouldn't want to hear this, but he had to broach the subject. "We will need to consider replacements in the near future."

"Yes, sir. I understand. I think, however, we can wait a little longer."

"Understood. I will, however, begin gathering names for your consideration. Also, as soon as this crisis is over, the International Council will want a complete report. Please be prepared to return to Earth if necessary." He paused. "Since we may be rather busy next week, why don't you wait for us to contact you. If we succeed, we'll move the ZPM here to make the contact. If we don't succeed, I don't want you to waste the power if there is no one here to talk to you. Good luck, Elizabeth. SGC out."

"Understood, General. I expect to hear from you soon. And good luck to all of you. Atlantis out."

Elizabeth shut her laptop and indicated to the technician to shut down the gate. She returned to her office, but couldn't concentrate. Considering replacements! She couldn't bear the thought. They still had not mourned.

Tapping her earpiece, she informed Major Lorne and Dr. Zelenka that she would be taking a few hours for a break, then she headed out to the north pier. No one saw her again until the next morning.

_Hive_

The next morning, Ronon and McKay headed off for the water and food runs needed to keep them ok for a few days. Ronon had taken over for John after around six hours, and John was still asleep, though very restless. They decided to leave him sleeping while they made the first water trip.

When they got back, having filled all the water containers they had, Sheppard was thrashing around.

"Colonel, wake up." McKay jostled John's shoulder, trying to bring him back to consciousness. Sheppard jerked awake and reared back away from McKay and knocked his leg.

"Crap, Rodney, why did you have to startle me?" He was holding his leg perfectly still and trying to breath through the pain.

"Well, excuse me but we thought you'd want to know we were back with water." Looking at John's sweaty face and feverish eyes, he offered one of the canteens. "I think you should go ahead and get some of this in you, then we can refill it."

John took the canteen and drank thirstily. "Thanks." He poured some over his head and soaked his shirt before wiping it over his chest.

McKay turned to their meager supplies and pulled out the role of gauze. It was getting thin. "We need to change your bandage…"

"After we move. No sense getting it all bloody and having to sit there with it." John was leaning against the F-302's side with his head thrown back. "Are you guys going after food before or after we move."

"Before." Ronon was nothing if not definite.

"Fine. I'll just stay here then and dream of a maze of twisty passages that all look the same."

Ronon looked over to McKay in question.

"Just a reference to an ancient computer game. He's not delirious yet."

The two of them headed toward the aft storage areas while Sheppard tried to get more sleep.

_Ancient Outpost, Antarctica_

"Concentrate, Jack."

"I am concentrating, Daniel. It just won't work. There's something blocking it." Brigadier General Jack O'Neill (retired), sitting in the weapons chair in the Ancient Outpost in Antarctica, was frustrated and tired, and getting testy. He and Daniel Jackson had been trying to get the chair to work since they arrived the night before. O'Neill had been able to launch one drone the first time he sat down, and nothing since.

"Could it be out of drones? We did use a lot of them against Anubis."

Daniel looked at the technician working with them. "Our instruments are showing that there are still drones present, sir. We don't know why you can't activate them."

O'Neill straightened up in the chair and stood up. "I need a break. Is the coffee still in that direction?"

"Sure, Jack, go ahead. We'll call you if we find anything different."

Daniel watched O'Neill leave, and sighed in his own frustration. He tapped his earpiece to get a connection back to the SGC.

"SGC, this is Jackson. Come in."

"Daniel, this is Carter. How's it going?"

"Not so good. We still can't get the chair to fire more than one drone. All of our instruments show there are still drones left, but none work. We may not be able to count on it for any defense."

There was a pause as Carter considered the import of this information. "Acknowledged, Daniel. I'll inform the General. SGC out."

Daniel Jackson slumped down on the chair platform in exhaustion and frustration. To have the most powerful weapon in the galaxy, and to have it just not work, was a cruel act of fate. Rubbing his hands over his face, he decided some rest might help, so he got up and headed for the temporary quarters assigned him.

_Hive_

John Sheppard moaned in his sleep and tossed his head. Ronon was on watch, and he leaned over to quiet the man so their position would not be compromised. Sheppard was hot to the touch, and his skin was dry, a bad sign. He poured some of their water onto John's shirt and sponged off his forehead. The feverish man quieted some, and Ronon went back to his thoughts.

They were currently in an alcove next to a wraith dart. There was very little cover here, so Ronon was particularly tense and watchful.

The move, done earlier that day, had been agony for Sheppard. He had a hard time walking, and Ronon had to carry him up one of the ladders. The laceration had opened again, and when they got to the launching area and selected the alcove, Sheppard had collapsed and lost consciousness for awhile. Rodney had used that time as a chance to change the bandage while Ronon retrieved the rest of their food, water, and the other supplies they would need before leaving, if they were successful in leaving.

The radio had been installed in the dart, and the IFF transponder as well. They had enough food and water for three days, but they expected to leave in less than two. Now all they could do was wait.

Ronon watched Sheppard begin to toss again and put the damp shirt back on his forehead. He admitted to himself that he had doubts about their success. The only positive note he could find was that the explosion of the F-302 would destroy a hive ship. At that thought he smiled. Ronon could always support that kind of action.

TBC


	5. Battle for Earth

**A/N: this chapter was harder to write than the others. Also, please be patient with the lack of accuracy in the radio communications. Thanks again for the reviews, and keep them coming.**

** Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, its characters and locations, are the intellectual property of others. This story represents an amateur effort with no intent to infringe.**

**-------------------------------------------------------**

**  
The Battle for Earth**

_Hive_

Ronon woke McKay after about six hours. Sheppard was still asleep and less restless, but he was still feverish.

"So, today?"

"I can't be exactly sure since we were stunned and I wasn't sure how much time passed. If the Colonel's estimate is correct, then it will be today." Rodney started rummaging through their limited food supply and came up with a fruit that didn't look like citrus.

"That drug he keeps talking about. That's to help with fever?"

"Yes, Tylenol, it's an anti-inflammatory, helps reduce fever, etc." Didn't taste like citrus either.

The Satedan grabbed the fruit to get the scientist's attention. "How much do we have?"

McKay gave up and looked at the drug bottle. "A regular dose is 2 every 4 hours, and there are 36 pills here. That is enough for three days at the regular dosage, or less if you take more."

"I think we should start dosing him now." Ronon looked over to where John was still sleeping, now shivering some from the fever. "Even if things don't happen today, we have enough to give him some tomorrow. He needs to be more in control to fly."

"What, you don't think he can fly? I realize he won't have my interface to help him, but he seemed to think he could. This is great. To get all this way to be splattered on my home planet."

"He can fly. He will fly better with a lower fever."

"Oh, ok, that makes sense. We should give him four now to get the concentration up then see how he does. I wish Carson were here. His voodoo is sometimes useful, especially with the Colonel who cannot seem to keep his body whole for any significant length of time."

They grabbed some water and Ronon woke up John. "Sheppard, wake up. Drugs."

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard opened his eyes and tried to focus. He knew he wasn't in the infirmary. Wrong smell. In fact, the smell was pretty bad. "Ronon? What's going on?"

McKay, looking him over carefully, asked "How are you?"

"I'm good," said Sheppard, working to raise himself up without moving his leg.

"Well, it's time for breakfast and we thought you might like your fruit served with drugs. That way you might actually have a chance to fly the dart when the time comes and not crash us into the South Pole."

Sheppard took the drugs without question, downed some water, and leaned back against a wall. "Is there any food left?"

"Fruit," said Ronon, offering him a piece.

"Thanks," said John, taking a small bite of the fruit. Rodney had retrieved his own breakfast from Ronon and was busily looking for more. Ronon ate slowly, studying John.

"So, can you fly?"

John looked up at him. "I feel like crap, and the leg is on fire, but I can fly. I have to."

"Take the drugs today in case you need to. You going to fly like that?" Ronon indicated John's current state of dress. To stay cooler, and keep the pressure off his leg, he was stripped to his boxers, and they were the worse for long wear.

John nodded, finished most of the fruit, then reached for his flight suit. He eased it over his leg and managed to get it up to his hips before he had to sit down. Leaning against the wall, he went over the plan in his head for the fiftieth time. Their lives would be in his hands, and he was already beginning to worry. He had to save his team. Unbidden, the image of Elizabeth Weir, saying "Be safe," floated across his mind. He would try.

_Atlantis_

Elizabeth Weir sat in the mess hall stirring her oatmeal and drinking coffee.

"May I join you?" She looked up to see Carson Beckett holding a tray and indicating the chair across from her.

"Sure, Carson, but I was just about to leave." She moved to pick up her tray but was stopped by a hand on hers.

"Elizabeth, you haven't eaten anything. You have visibly lost weight. You must take better care of yourself. Atlantis needs you." He figured if he couldn't get her to take care of herself for herself, maybe he could use guilt.

She sagged back into her chair, looking down at her tray. "I'm sorry, Carson. I'm just not hungry. Nothing looks or smells good."

"Elizabeth, did it ever occur to you that maybe you are suffering from a combination of stress and depression? Your appetite is suppressed, and I bet you aren't sleeping either." He raised his eyebrows in question, and she nodded reluctantly, looking down again.

"Carson, I know. I'm trying. I took some time off yesterday evening. It's just that today, the hive ships will probably reach Earth." She paused and looked him in the eye. "I can't help but worry today. I'll eat . . . eventually."

Teyla approached their table. "Excuse me for interrupting. Dr. Weir, are we going to spar today?"

Using her appearance as an excuse to leave, Elizabeth once more picked up her tray. "Yes, Teyla, I'll change and join you in the gym." She looked back at Carson. "Your concerns are noted, Dr. Beckett." She then turned to leave.

Beckett stopped her. "Dr. Weir, my concerns are serious. I will check in on you tomorrow."

She nodded and left with Teyla. As she walked away, Carson noted, with even more concern, how her clothing hung on her frame as if it were two sizes too large. "Oh, lass, when are ye goin' to let others shoulder the burden with ye," he said to himself as he began to eat his own breakfast.

_Hive_

"Sheppard, they just dropped out of hyperspace," said Ronon, running over to where John was sitting against the wall with his eyes closed. Rodney McKay had grabbed what gear they were taking and was heading for the hatch leading to the landing bay to set the timer on the F-302 engine overload.

Opening his eyes, John tried to push himself up only to jar his leg again. Wincing, he held out his hand to Ronon. "OK, let's go." Ronon grabbed John and half carried him to the dart they had selected previously. They had already installed the IFF transponder as well as the F-302's radio. The radio from the survival gear was also in the dart as a backup.

Zipping up his flight suit the rest of the way, John eased himself into the cockpit, stifling a groan as he had to bend his leg to get it to fit. He took a bottle of water and the pill bottle Ronon handed him, and took the time to swallow two more Tylenol. He looked up at Ronon as the Satedan paused.

"Thanks," said Sheppard. "Now be sure Rodney is ready, then get out into the landing bay so I can get you."

"Are you up to this?"

"Do I have a choice?" said Sheppard. Seeing Ronon's concern, however, he tried to flash the familiar cocky grin, but it didn't reach his feverish eyes. After a brief hand clasp, Ronon took off.

As the canopy came down, Sheppard took in a large breath. "I hope I still remember how to fly this thing without Rodney's laptop," he thought as he started up the engines.

Ronon's trip to the landing bay was slowed as he had to dodge the wraith who were beginning to enter the launching area. He still was able to reach Rodney in a few moments. "Done?"

Rodney nodded, set a switch in the small ship's cockpit, and handed a pack to Ronon as they both moved out of the shadows and into the landing bay. "We've got 10 minutes. I sure hope Mr. 'I'm Good' knows what he's doing."

There wasn't time for any more conversation as a dart beam engulfed them.

The wraith dart looped under the hive ship and headed away from the fighting and toward the South Pole. Sheppard turned on the radio and the transponder. He had taken a chance on leaving the radio at the same frequency used by the F-302s on the _Daedalus_. He was also scanning the heads up display for possible targets. So far he had no ships in the immediate vicinity. As he approached the upper atmosphere, however, a blinking light alerted him to an F-302 streaking toward him just as he heard the radio come on.

"Unidentified craft, I am reading your IFF signature. Acknowledge this transmission immediately or prepare to be shot down."

"This is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, US Air Force. I am in the wraith dart headed to Antarctica. Do not fire. Repeat, do not fire. "

There was a pause.

"Shep? This is Cam. I am pulling alongside you for verification. "

"Cam! Great to hear from you. Thanks for throwing the party for my return. But negative on the verification. This craft does not have a clear canopy. I need two things. First, tell the other ships to stay clear of the hive I just came from. There should be an explosion in about 4 minutes.."

"Acknowledged. I'll relay to the fleet."

John listened as Colonel Cameron Mitchell put out the warning to the rest of the Earth vessels. All of them pulled back and concentrated their efforts on the other hive and the darts.

"Message sent. You leave a little parting gift?"

"Yeah, to say thanks for the hospitality."

"What was the other thing you needed?"

"Help me connect to the base in Antarctica, and be my wingman until I get there. The opaque canopy makes it more difficult to get bearings."

"OK, I'm at your 8 o'clock. The base should be monitoring this frequency, but I'll call just in case. Antarctica Base, this is Mitchell. Please acknowledge."

"Antarctica base, here, Colonel, what can we do for you?

"There is a visitor who wants to come for a visit. Standby. Shep, they're all yours. Looking forward to hearing the story of how you came to be in a dart. Mitchell out."

"Thanks, Cam. Antarctica base, this is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis, do you read?

"This is Antarctica base, go ahead Colonel, it's great to hear from you."

"Thought you guys might want a hand. However, I'm in an unfamiliar ship with a rather strange passenger space. I have two passengers that I will have to beam out before I land. We do not have cold weather gear. I repeat, we have no gear. I will beam them down as close to the tunnel as possible before making a swing back to land in the same area. Can you have gear available in … five minutes? ."

"Colonel, this is O'Neill. Nice to have you visit. We're checking for gear now. How much?"

"There are three of us with no gear. Uh, two extra large and one double extra large. We also need food and water. A strong dose of antibiotics with some Tylenol would also be good. If you could have some supplies in the elevator, we could take care of things on the way down."

"Wilco, Colonel. Gear at tunnel and rations in elevator. Should there be a doctor with the antibiotics?

"Might be a good idea, General. I'm coming in wounded. I'll probably need help getting out of the dart. The other two passengers are ok.

"Acknowledged, Colonel. There will be two marines to get you out. We're keeping the chair warm for you. Antarctica out."

"Five minutes, General. Sheppard out."

Just as he signed off, there was a large explosion above and behind him.

"Shep, this is Cam. Was that your parting gift? The other fighters are reporting that the ship appears to be breaking in half."

"That's some of McKay's work. Let's just say my F-302 went out with a bang. Sheppard out."

"Mitchell out."

John took a bearing on New Zealand and headed to McMurdo, noting that Mitchell stayed in formation. He'd made the run so many times he could do it in his sleep, which was fortunate since he was still feverish. From McMurdo he took a direct line to the ancient outpost he had visited two years before. Had it only been two years? It seemed like a lifetime.

As he approached the white dome, Mitchell peeled off, and Sheppard slowed the dart and carefully approached the tunnel entrance. He managed to beam McKay and Ronon to a space 10 yards from the mouth of the tunnel. He then made a loop and came back and set the dart near the helipad. The winds of the Antarctic winter whipped at the dart's canopy as he raised it, and he hoped that his teammates had made it inside. He struggled to get his leg moving so he could get out of the cockpit. As the first blast of wind hit him, he felt a parka being thrown around his shoulders and two sets of arms pulling him out of the cockpit and easing him to the ground.

"This way Colonel," shouted one marine over the howl of the wind. Leaning on the two marines, Sheppard was pulled toward the tunnel entrance and finally out of the wind.

Once in the tunnel, another pair of marines took over. "We need to hustle, sir," one said, as they slung John's arms over their shoulders and moved at a jog to the elevator at the other end. John was pleased to see Ronon and Rodney already wrapped in parkas and drinking coffee in the elevator waiting for him. They didn't look any the worse for wear. The lift started as soon as he stepped in.

Before he could get the parka on completely, a doctor pushed up his sleeve, gave him a shot and took his vitals. Then he was given two Tylenol and a bottle of water. When he got that down, he finally got his arms into the parka. He looked up from pulling up the zipper to see the grim face of General Jack O'Neill staring at him.

"Glad you could make the party, Colonel. We've saved you the best seat in the house."

"Actually, General, I was wondering why you hadn't claimed it yourself."

"Well," said O'Neill, "it seems that though I have the gene, the extra knowledge I had from the ancient database was what allowed me to operate the chair easily. Daniel tried everyone with the gene in the chair and the best any can do is one drone at a time. He came for me as a last resort. Needless to say, your talents have been sorely missed."

"Then it's a good thing we dropped in," said John, as he finished his coffee. It sure tasted good after more than three weeks of water and power bars. As he thought of their limited supplies of the last weeks, he started looking around for some rations.

"Here, Colonel," said a marine as he thrust a sandwich into John's hands. John didn't hesitate but tore into the package and began eating. He managed about half a turkey sandwich before the elevator finally reached the bottom.

"Showtime, colonel," said O'Neill, as everyone jogged over to the chair, the marines continuing to help Sheppard.

John dropped into the chair and immediately pulled up a holographic image of the battle overhead. As he visualized the hive ships and the darts, he began to pull on the drones and found them present but not moving.

"Rodney, the drones are there but they're won't fire!"

Dr. Rodney McKay, stuffing the last of a sandwich in his mouth, rushed over to the chair and commandeered a laptop. He plugged it into the interface he had originally created two years ago and began running diagnostics.

"McKay!"

"Just calm down, Colonel. Not everything goes faster than the speed of sound."

A technician went over to McKay and started describing what had been happening, but McKay, never missing a keystroke, cut him off. "If I wanted to know what lame brained things you guys had done to break the most powerful weapon in this galaxy, I would have asked. But if you want this fixed, I suggest you shut up."

"OK, Sheppard, the drones are in multiple silos. It looks like one silo is empty and you have to switch to the next silo. Think switch, or close then open, or something like that."

John closed his eyes, thinking of drones in silos, and suddenly everything clicked. Dozens of drones launched from their bays deep beneath the base and took flight.

Ronon stood against one wall and just watched. He had not seen the weapons chair of the Ancients in action before though he knew there was one on Atlantis. He was impressed with the fire power released. Dr. Rodney McKay continued to monitor the chair's operations. The doctor approached General O'Neill.

"Sir, I think you should be aware that the Lieutenant Colonel is very sick with a temperature of 102 degrees. He's fighting some kind of infection. I'm not sure why he isn't delirious at this point."

O'Neill looked at the doctor. "Given what we're facing, can he continue without treatment long enough to finish the battle?"

"Though I wouldn't advise it, given the circumstances, I have to say yes. However, once he is finished, he needs to receive treatment immediately. He may have brought back alien bacteria, and we need to get it under control quickly."

"Understood, Doctor. You get him as soon as this is finished. If he's half as good as I think he is, that should be pretty soon so stand by."

With the addition of the drones to the firepower of the _Daedalus_ and the _Prometheus_, the tide of battle soon turned. John concentrated on the remaining hive ship, leaving the darts for the F-302s and the two larger ships. With his knowledge of the hive's weaknesses, he was able to target their most vulnerable systems, but the battle continued for several hours. After the last hive was destroyed, he was able to concentrate on the darts.

As the observers watched the holographic image of the space above Earth clear of enemy ships, General O'Neill contacted the _Daedalus_ for confirmation.

"_Daedalus_ this is O'Neill at Antarctica base. What's your status?"

"Antarctica this is Caldwell. We have confirmed the destruction of the hive ships. We estimate 20 darts are still in action but they will be dealt with momentarily. Thanks for the help with the drones. I see you finally found someone to run the chair."

"Actually, Colonel, the help came from Atlantis in the form of Colonel John Sheppard. I just wanted confirmation of what we are seeing on the holograms."

"Sheppard is there? That's good news, General. I can confirm the kills and we are showing no darts in flight. Is that your information?"

"It is, Colonel." McKay looked up from his laptop.

"Any idea how many of them made successful runs before they were shot down? Also, did any deposit wraith soldiers on Earth?"

At that comment, Ronon straightened up, wondering how to get to the fight.

O'Neill passed on the question to Caldwell.

"We are unsure at this time. At least twenty broke into the atmosphere, but we don't know if they collected or left anything.

McKay turned back to his laptop but said, "Remind the Colonel that the soldiers are very hard to kill and they might want to trace every dart that broke through."

"Caldwell, McKay suggests you pass on the word to track down every dart that got through our defenses. See you at the debriefing. O'Neill out."

"Acknowledged. Tell McKay I'm glad he made it. _Daedalus_ out."

John Sheppard, knowing the targets were all accounted for, deactivated the chair and looked at his teammates. Seeing McKay busy with a laptop and terrorizing the staff, and Ronon looking fierce, he realized they were ok. With the relief, he finally gave in to the pain and encroaching darkness.


	6. Catching Up

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. Once past these chapters, should go faster. I know little about medicine; therefore, there are mistakes in the medical descriptions and terms.**

** Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis and Stargate: SG1 are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended to infringe on those rights.  
**

**------------------------------------------------------------------ **

**Catching Up**

_Antarctica base_

As Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard deactivated the ancient weapons chair and stood up, he immediately toppled into unconsciousness. Ronon was watching for this and managed to catch him before he hit the icy floor. No one had seen the warrior move, and several were startled by the large man who moved like a cheetah. The doctor was calling for a gurney as Ronon picked up John in his arms. The quiet order of the battle, fought with the mental control of Sheppard, gave way to chaos with his collapse.

"Where's that gurney?" The doctor was rushing around to where Ronon held John and trying to take his pulse.

"Infirmary?" said Ronon, always conservative with words.

The doctor looked at the large man and decided cooperation was easier. "This way." He led the Satedan away from the chair room to a small, makeshift infirmary deeper in the complex.

O'Neill looked after the departing medic and tapped his ear piece. "_Daedalus_ this is Antarctica base."

"Caldwell here, go ahead General."

"Sheppard has collapsed. We may have to do an evacuation. Are you capable of ring transport?"

"Affirmative. Just tell us when and where."

"Where will be the SGC. You might want to check with them to cut off the jamming so transport will work. As for when, I'll let you know. Antarctica out.

"Acknowledged. _Daedalus _out."

O'Neill turned to Daniel who was carefully approaching McKay where he still knelt by the chair controls, muttering to himself.

"Dr. McKay?"

Rodney glanced up, back at his laptop, then looked up at Daniel. "Oh, Dr. Jackson. I didn't see you there."

"I very carefully stayed out of the way. Can you tell me what you have been doing?"

"Oh, I just used the interface I created to run diagnostics on the chair. It is an excellent interface, even if I do say so myself." He went back to reviewing the data, then looked up at the chair. "Where's Sheppard? This is the first time I've been able to study the chair in battle mode, and I need some additional readings?"

O'Neill used this opportunity to make his presence known. "The big guy took him to the infirmary. He passed out."

Rodney jumped up, closing the laptop as he did. "Why didn't anyone tell me? I knew he was just waiting for the most annoying time to collapse. He never thinks of what the rest of us are doing while he's playing Captain America."

O'Neill placed a restraining hand on McKay's chest. "Hold it. It's going to be awhile before they're cleaned up in there. So while we're waiting, why don't you show Daniel how you knew the chair had drones in silos."

McKay sat down on the chair platform and brought up his laptop again. "Well, it's really quite simple," he began, and proceeded to confuse O'Neill completely. Jackson, however, was having fun finally having someone to talk to who spoke as fast as he did.

By this time, Ronon, carrying the unconscious Sheppard, had finally reached the infirmary. As he laid Sheppard on the bed, the feverish man stirred restlessly. One nurse began taking vitals while another began cutting away his uniform.

"Doctor, his temperature is 102.1 degrees."

"Thank you." The doctor came back over with instruments for cleaning and suturing wounds just as the right leg, complete with bandage, was revealed. "Begin attaching the monitors so we know how he's doing."

As he pulled back the bandage on Sheppard's thigh, he sucked in his breath. "Oh my god, how did this happen?"

Ronon described the accident as the doctor removed the soaking bandage. "So this happened several days ago?"

"About six."

"What were you able to do for it?" He disposed of the bloody bandages in a biohazard container and began irrigating the wound with saline. Sheppard shifted again in pain.

"He used some alcohol swabs and kept it covered. We began giving him Tylenol just today."

"The infection is well advanced. Had you waited any longer it could have gone into full gangrene and sepsis. As it is, I won't be able to handle his treatment here. I have limited drugs. The wound is so old we need to let it heal naturally, but we have to deal with the infection." The doctor turned to the nurse to continue his instructions. "Start an IV. We need to get his fever down and stabilize him for transport." The doctor finished the irrigation and laid a clean bandage lightly on top of the wound.

By this time Sheppard's fever was approaching 103 degrees, and he was starting to thrash around. "Better put him in restraints," said the doctor, and the second nurse began fastening the cloth straps that protected patients from harming themselves or their caregivers.

Sheppard began to shiver.

"He's having chills," said the nurse. "His temperature is now 102.8 degrees, doctor."

"Push ibuprofen and penicillin through the IV and continue hydration.'

The doctor looked over at Ronon. "You don't know of any allergies he may have to penicillin, do you?"

Ronon shrugged. "I've never heard of any, and he's in the infirmary a lot."

The doctor looked back at his patient, and his scars, and said "I'm not surprised. I'm going to check with General O'Neill about transport. The doctor left Ronon watching over Sheppard as the nurses tried to make him comfortable.

In the chair room, Dr. McKay was finishing his explanation to Dr. Jackson. O'Neill looked up with glazed eyes to see the doctor approaching.

"So, doc, what's his status?"

The question got Rodney's attention, and he stood up to address the doctor.

"Oh, good, another witchdoctor to offer incantations for Mr. Accident-waiting-to-happen. When can I see him?"

The doctor was confused by McKay's typical attitude regarding medicine, so he addressed his comments to O'Neill.

"The colonel has a serious infection that may become gangrenous if not dealt with immediately. He needs to be moved to a better equipped facility. Is there any way to get him out of here? I know that we usually don't have transport in winter."

O'Neill smiled pleasantly. "I don't think that will be a problem, doctor. Is he ready to be moved?"

Rodney was taken aback. "What do you mean there's no problem?"

O'Neill just smiled and keyed his radio. "_Daedalus_, are you ready?"

"Ready when you are, general," came the voice of Caldwell.

"Is there any problem transporting from within the base or does he need to be closer to the surface?"

"No, General, the shaft and other improvements have made transport straightforward."

"Standby, Colonel." O'Neill turned to the doctor. "I was thinking we'd transport him straight to the SGC. Their medical facilities are more extensive and they have the ability to deal with any alien bugs. Can he leave now?"

"Just let me secure him to the gurney, General, then transport him gurney and all. Uh, shouldn't you warn the SGC? Dr. Lam might need to prepare."

"Good idea. You go secure him and I'll contact Dr. Lam." The doctor turned to leave with Rodney following.

"SGC, this is Antarctica Base, do you read?"

"Landry here, Antarctica, what do you need?"

"We have a man down. The doctor says he can't treat him here. Would like to transport him and his team to SGC for treatment."

"Acknowledged. _Daedalus_ will be transporting?"

"Affirmative. Please clear a space in the quarantine room."

"Something we should know General?"

"The infection could be caused by alien bacteria, but unknown at this time.

"Acknowledged. I will alert Dr. Lam. Transport when ready. SGC out."

O'Neill looked over to where the medical team, accompanied by Ronon and McKay, were approaching with Sheppard on the gurney. An IV bag was on his chest, along with a record of the treatment he had received so far. He was strapped in under a blanket. "OK, doc, SGC is ready to take him. Is he ready to go?"

"Yes general. You may transport any time, but sooner would be better."

As if to confirm the doctor's words, Sheppard began thrashing on the gurney, tugging at the restraints. Ronon and McKay moved in closer.

"OK, get ready." Keying his mike again, O'Neill hailed the _Daedalus._ "Antarctica Base to _Daedalus_."

"Caldwell here, go ahead."

"Ready to transport."

"Acknowledged. Transporting now."

A white glow enveloped the three men, and they disappeared in the Asgard beaming technology.

O'Neill nodded to the doctor. "Thanks for getting him ready. I'm sure the SGC will take care of him."

The doctor nodded. "Was there anyone else needing treatment? Colonel Sheppard's condition monopolized our attention."

O'Neill looked around, finding Daniel who shook his head. "No, I think everything is fine here. You can stand down."

The doctor nodded and left the area. O'Neill walked over to where Daniel was still studying the chair interface. "Will you be ready to provide a debriefing by tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I just want to go over what McKay said. I should also run it by Sam when we get back to the SGC. When did you want to leave?"

"Whenever you're ready."

"OK, I'll come get you." And Dr. Jackson turned back to the laptop.

O'Neill wandered back to the conference room space, thinking that at least he wasn't the one leaving on a gurney this time, and hoping that the injured man recovered.

_SGC, Cheyenne Mountain_

The two men and the gurney appeared in the quarantine section of the infirmary at Stargate Command. Dr. Carolyn Lam and two nurses, in gowns, gloves, and masks approached the gurney.

"Gentlemen," said Dr. Lam. "It will be some time before we have Colonel Sheppard settled. Why don't you get something to eat and find some quarters. We'll call you when he wakes up." She then completely ignored them, coordinating Sheppard's move to an infirmary bed. "Dave, check the IV. Julie, set up the monitors."

McKay was about to make a sarcastic comment when he heard a tapping from the window overlooking the quarantine room. Dr. Samantha Carter waved and pressed the microphone. "Dr. McKay, why don't you come out and I'll show you to your rooms. You'll have to go through decontamination, and I know you'll want a shower after that."

The presence of Sam Carter changed the look on McKay's face from petulant to self-consciously pleased. "Uh, sure. Ronon, he won't wake up for awhile, so why don't we go ahead and eat. I'll introduce you to Dr. Carter. She's not as smart as I, but I find her quite interesting."

McKay led the way out of the room by way of decontamination. Ronon rolled his eyes. He could tell when someone was smitten.

Dr. Lam, watching them leave, glanced up at Sam and mouthed "thank you." She then turned to the more complicated problem of her patient.

The nurse had hung a new IV bag and was finishing the removal of Sheppard's uniform while Dr. Lam reviewed the diagnosis and treatment done by the team in Antarctica. She then reviewed his vitals, noting that his temperature was now 103.5 degrees, and noted that he was again shivering. She removed the temporary bandage the doctor had put on the wound and considered her options. The wound was deep and obviously infected. "Dave," she called to the nurse finishing with the uniform, "let's see if we can get a culture of this bacterium." The nurse handed her a petri dish, and she swabbed at the wound for a sample. He took back the disk and moved to a lab bench to begin analyzing the sample.

Without knowing the exact bacterium, or bacteria, Dr. Lam decided to start with a broad spectrum antibiotic and move to a more specific drug when they knew what they were dealing with. Turning to the other nurse, who was completing the reinstallation of the monitors, she said, "Let's continue with the penicillin and check the status of his last tetanus booster. Also, Julie, we need to put in a catheter. I'm going to check the web and see how fast we can get some medicinal maggots here?"

"Maggots! Are you sure doctor?"

"Yes, this has been untreated for so long that there is a build up of dead tissue. I think the maggots would do a better job than I would on debridement."

The doctor left to order the maggots while the nurse completed her tasks.

Elsewhere, McKay and Ronon were exiting decontamination. Colonel Samantha Carter was waiting for them, and Rodney immediately introduced Ronon. "Dr. Carter and I have worked together on some projects having to do with the astrophysics of the Stargate," he preened. Ronon noticed Sam just rolled her eyes.

"I thought I'd show you guys to some quarters," said Sam. "Things here are not as nice as on Atlantis, but we try." As they walked down the hall, Sam handed them ID cards and maps. "The cards will let you in to certain areas. The mess hall is down there," pointing to her right, "and I think they're having meatloaf today."

Ronon looked confused, but was happy to hear about any food with meat in it. He'd had enough mystery fruit to last awhile.

Colonel Sam Carter spent the next several hours keeping Ronon and McKay busy. After they had cleaned up and eaten, she gave them an extensive tour of the complex. Then she introduced Ronon to Teal'c and showed them the gym. That left her with McKay, so they went to the lab

"Yes, we had a fascinating discussion on the way the 'gate system stabilizes worm holes. I think she was impressed with some of the technology I've been able to work with on Atlantis." McKay was informing Ronon of his afternoon with Colonel Carter while they stood in line for dinner. "Did you have a good time with Teal'c?"

"He fights well," said Ronon, taking two servings of ham steak. He also got one of almost everything else on the menu.

McKay picked up ham as well and skipped the lemon pie in favor of chocolate cake.

As they sat down, Ronon said, "Think we can see Sheppard now?"

"I was going to suggest we go by after dinner. I would think he'd be awake by now."

The infirmary was quiet when they entered. They were required to don gowns and masks since the bacteria cultures had been identified and were alien. As they entered the quarantine area, the sounds of the heart monitor could be heard, and a nurse was taking vital signs. As she saw them, she left to get Dr. Lam. The two men approached the bed and were disturbed to see Sheppard still unconscious. He was pale and shivering, so he still had fever, but he wasn't thrashing around as he had earlier.

"Good evening gentlemen," said Dr. Lam as she entered. "As you can see he is still very sick but resting as comfortably as possible."

"Did he wake up?"

"It may be another day before he comes around. I am not trying to wake him so his body can heal. Now, you can visit for awhile, but you guys need your rest as well. Don't make me sedate you." With that, she left the two to keep vigil, Rodney settling down with a laptop, and Ronon leaning against the wall. They were strangely quiet as they watched their feverish team leader.

When Dr. Carolyn Lam returned at 8 AM the next morning to check on her patient, she heard that his two teammates had remained by his bed until 1 AM. The night staff had finally forced them away. She shook her head at the report and looked up at Julie, the day shift.

"Did you get a response on the maggots?"

"Yes, Doctor, they should arrive by express delivery today."

"Good, I want to get that wound clean."

True to their word, the company delivered the maggots by 9 that morning, and the doctor wasted no time in gently placing them on the wound. The maggots began eating the dead flesh, thus cleaning the wound.

McKay and Ronon returned after having breakfast in the mess hall. They approached the bed where Dr. Lam was just completing her inspection of the wound. The slightly squirming maggots could clearly be seen.

"What have you done? He's got insects crawling on him!" McKay lunged at the bed and tried to push the doctor away, but was stopped by the nurse.

Dr. Lam nodded at the nurse and pushed McKay into a chair. "Relax Dr. McKay. I'm using medicinal maggots to help cleanse the wound of dead tissue. It has been several days since the wound, and the necrotic tissue has begun to build up. In removing it, we make it possible for the wound to heal more quickly."

"Medicinal maggots! That makes as much sense as 'military intelligence.' Surely you're not going to leave them there to turn into flys. But then again, this is medicine, after all, not a real science."

Dr. Lam was not used to having her treatments, and her intelligence, questioned by a mere PhD, and she was losing her patience. "Dr. McKay, medicinal maggots are actually regulated by the FDA. You have nothing to worry about. The maggots are doing what they need to do, and Colonel Sheppard is holding his own."

"Oh yeah? Then why hasn't he awakened? What's wrong with him? Can't any of your voodoo wake him up? He was fine just yesterday." Rodney McKay began to prattle in his concern for his teammate. Ronon said nothing, but his vigilant stance made most of the medical personnel nervous around the unconscious colonel.

"Dr. McKay, from what I've been told of the last three weeks, Colonel Sheppard is suffering from malnourishment, extreme stress, and a bacterial infection which has produced a high fever. I believe his body is giving him a chance to recover. As should you. Now I think you should leave. You can check on him later." Dr. Carolyn Lam had not dealt with Rodney McKay in full worry mode, and she was out of patience.

"But it's been 24 hours…"

Ronon had kept his attention on the Colonel. He owed this man, and he was going to make sure these people treated him correctly. Though confused about the maggots, he was more concerned that Sheppard continued to jerk around with a high fever. He was about to join McKay in asking to stay when they were interrupted.

A voice came over the com system saying, "Dr. Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex, please report to the briefing room. Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex."

Ronon raised his eyebrows, and Rodney was interrupted in mid-rant. "Now we get to go relive the last three weeks in infinite excruciating detail," growled McKay, and he led Ronon out of the infirmary to the briefing.

TBC

Reviews appreciated!


	7. Status Reports

**Disclaimer: All characters and locations are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended to infringe on those rights.**

** A/N: Thanks for the reviews. For those waiting for Shweir, there are three more setup chapters.  
**

** -----------------------------------------------------------**

**Status Reports**

The conference room at the SGC was filled with people. Caldwell was there as well as the commander of the _Odyssey_. General Hank Landry was there with the current members of SG1 as well as General O'Neill. There was also a bald accountant-looking type who was sitting next to General Landry. McKay and Ronon entered, followed by Dr. Lam.

"Thank you for joining us, gentlemen," said Landry, as the members of the Atlantis team found seats. "I believe you know everyone except Mr. Woolsey. He is here representing the interests of the International Oversight Committee for the Stargate Program."

The accountant nodded in their general direction. Ronon heard Rodney mutter, "oh please!"

Landry continued. "I'd like to start this debriefing with a quick update on Colonel Sheppard's condition. Dr. Lam?"

Dr. Lam stepped forward and scanned the room as she began. "Colonel Sheppard has a severe eight inch laceration on his left thigh. This wound was received approximately six days ago when he caught himself on a piece of equipment while running to avoid detection. Limited supplies were available, but he attempted to cleanse the wound and keep it covered. I estimate he lost around a pint of blood in that time. He also contracted an infection that is currently of unknown origin. We are investigating. He is currently unconscious and running a fever of 103. 5 degrees. We are attempting to control the fever while determining if a bacterium is the source of the infection."

"Thank you, doctor. Any estimates of when he can return to duty?"

"Not until we know what bacteria we're dealing with."

"Ok, doctor. You may return to your patient." Dr. Lam nodded at General Landry and the rest of those present before turning and leaving the room.

"To continue, Colonel Carter, could you provide a review of the information sent from Atlantis warning Earth of the wraith threat."

Rodney put his chin in his hand and got a slight smile on his face watching Colonel Carter as she reviewed the beginning of the wraith alliance. Then Caldwell jumped in with the _Daedalus_' early experience attempting to deploy the virus.

"Dr. McKay?"

"Hmmm?"

Ronon jabbed McKay, shoving his arm off the table and dislodging his chin. The scientist looked up and saw everyone looking at him.

"Dr. McKay," said Landry, again, with obviously limited patience, "why don't you tell us what happened on the hive ship."

"Of course, general," said McKay, straightening up. "We were working with the wraith on the best way to deploy the gas form of the virus. I had also been working on some of their other systems. Ronon was acting as a body guard of sorts, though it didn't exactly matter. We were walking down one of their corridors when they turned on us. I tried to use my automatic beam-out device, but it failed. I have not had a chance to investigate why. We were pushed into cocoons where we stayed until Sheppard found us."

"Colonel Caldwell, continue with your experiences with the battle."

Caldwell continued, describing the decision to launch fighters and the failure to retrieve Sheppard.

Looking at Ronon and McKay, Landry said, "Do either of you know how Colonel Sheppard got onto the hive ship?"

Ronon looked at the general. "He flew his fighter into the landing bay and hid it."

Rodney continued with what they knew of Sheppard's search for them followed by their rescue and making plans.

Caldwell looked at McKay. "So that explosion was my F-302?"

"Yes. I came up with a way to overload the engines while giving us time to escape. It was pretty impressive even if I do say so myself."

"You realize you wasted an expensive piece of equipment." Mr. Woolsey decided to chime in before the self-congratulations got too far.

"Maybe so, but by destroying the F-302, we took out one hive ship and covered the escape of three people. I would think even an accountant could see the value in that."

"Moving right along, people. Mitchell, can you give an overview of the battle?"

Colonel Cameron Mitchell described the fight from the F-302 view, with Caldwell contributing extra details. The battle had been going badly until the drones began to attack the other hive. Then the tide turned, and the -302s were able to concentrate on the darts while the _Daedalus_ and the _Odyssey_ pressed the hive.

"Speaking of the chair, Dr. Jackson and General O'Neill, could you tell us how it is that you could not operate the chair before Colonel Sheppard arrived?"

McKay had to break in. "They couldn't operate the chair because they were not aware the drones were stored in silos. The automatic switching between silos was not working, so the operator had to intervene. My interface was able to detect the problem, and I told the colonel."

Landry looked at McKay then back at Dr. Jackson.

Daniel Jackson pushed up his glasses as he glanced at McKay. "Essentially, he's correct, General. We knew there were more drones; we just couldn't figure out how to get to them."

O'Neill nodded his agreement.

"OK, so it looks like we owe both Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay our gratitude for getting the chair working. Now, how many darts got through?"

The debriefing continued for some time, with various people contributing information. By the final count, five darts had been able to collect people, but no one knew how many people were collected before the darts were destroyed.

As the talk turned to preventive measures, Ronon looked over at McKay. The scientist was once more staring at Sam Carter. When Ronon glanced at Carter, he could tell she was aware of his regard but tolerating it. Ronon caught Teal'c's eye and saw he was just as bored with the proceedings as he was. These humans sure liked to talk!

"Well, people, that's enough for now. Please get in your reports within the next two days. We'll add Colonel Sheppard's report once he is awake. Mr. Woolsey did you have anything you'd like to add?"

Woolsey turned to the General and shook his head. "I have a few observations I need to share with you, but I think this debriefing covered everything. I will, of course, report back to the IOC."

Landry nodded. "Of course. Everyone is dismissed."

Chairs scraped as the members of the military jumped to attention as the General stood. O'Neill didn't move from where he was leaning against the wall in a corner. General Landry left, followed by Mr. Woolsey, and everyone else relaxed.

Caldwell looked over at McKay and Ronon. "Gentlemen, the _Daedalus_ will be leaving shortly. I think you'll want to be on board."

Rodney looked shocked, while Ronon looked dangerous. "What about Sheppard," said the Satedan.

Caldwell looked down a minute then looked Ronon straight in the eye. "He is currently healing and will have to wait for another trip. He also may have other orders come up. Either way, I've been ordered back to Atlantis to be sure things are secure. I know Dr. Weir will be anxious about her chief scientist and another member of her top team." With that, Caldwell nodded at the others in the room and left.

Ronon and McKay headed back to the infirmary. "We can't leave Sheppard," stated Ronon.

"The military, with its narrow mind, can do anything it wants to. And since the Stargate project is still a matter of secrecy, we can do little about it." Rodney was obviously working on the problem and not liking what he was finding. "This is one of those times when Elizabeth's abilities would be handy. She can tell people to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."

Ronon didn't comment. As they passed people in the halls, they were given wide berth after one look at his face.

They made it back to the infirmary, donned gowns, and entered the quarantine room. The nurse was just finishing collecting a round of vital information. She nodded at the two men as she made notes on the chart. As she read off the digital thermometer, she shook her head.

Ronon looked at the pale form on the hospital bed. It was hard to believe that the man who was determined to get them off the hive ship was now shivering and twitching in a bed. His skin was dry, and his brow was furrowed as if he was still worrying about something. On the other side of the bed, Rodney pulled out his laptop and continued with whatever he was working on. Ronon was amazed at the man's ability to concentrate at such a time, but he realized it was McKay's way of dealing with the stress and uncertainty of Sheppard's condition.

Suddenly Sheppard's eyes opened and he began pulling at the restraints. Rodney stood up and leaned over the feverish man. "Colonel, can you hear me? How are you feeling?"

Ronon snorted. For a smart man, McKay could be an idiot in the infirmary. As he looked up, he noticed the nurse had left the room.

Just then, Sheppard's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he began to convulse. Ronon placed his hands on the man's legs. "Hold down his shoulders," he said to Rodney. McKay put his hands on Sheppard's shoulders and pushed down just as the doctor hurried into the room.

"Out of my way!"

She quickly approached the colonel, who was now thrashing against the restraints, and took his temperature. A nurse approached with a syringe she injected into the IV port. "We need to get this fever down. Let's sponge him off." The nurse left to get the required equipment while the doctor pulled down the sheet.

As the drug began to take effect, Sheppard's eyes slid closed and he lay shivering on the bed. The nurse came back and began using a cloth to apply lukewarm water to his chest and arms. The doctor took his temperature again.

"Julie, I'm going to check on how Dave is coming with the analysis of that bacteria. Let's switch to a cocktail until we have his results."

Dr. Lam turned to leave the room but was stopped by McKay.

"Can't you do something to keep him from convulsing?"

"Dr. McKay, we still don't know what bacteria are infecting the colonel. All we can do right now is treat the fever. The maggots are cleansing the wound and removing the bacteria around it. We have to deal with the bacteria that got into his system. Now, if you will let me go, I will see if we have an identification of the bacteria causing this."

With that, she left the room, stripping off the gown and mask. McKay opened his laptop again, but he couldn't take his eyes off the shivering colonel. Ronon leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. The waiting had begun again.

When Jack O'Neill left the debriefing after speaking with Carter, Jackson, and Teal'c, he wandered down to Landry's office. As he approached the door, he could tell Landry was not alone. The second voice belonged to Mr. Woolsey from the International Oversight Committee.

"General Landry, we are going to have to face facts in this matter. The committee is very concerned that Colonel Sheppard was the only one to successfully operate the chair, and they do not want him leaving Earth."

O'Neill made his presence known by knocking on the door jamb then leaning against it. "Sounds like a second debriefing in here. Mind if I join in?"

Woolsey looked irritated, or was that his permanent status? Anyway, he didn't object though he looked like he wanted to.

"Come in, General. Mr. Woolsey here was just explaining some of the concerns of the Oversight Committee."

"Thanks, General. Sounds like the committee is getting jumpy."

"Their position should be understandable, General O'Neill. The only person who was able to operate the chair would have been in another galaxy except for an accident of fate. We would have been almost defenseless against the wraith threat, and thousands of human lives could have been lost."

"All that is true, but remember that it was McKay who told Sheppard what he had to do to get the chair to work."

"Still, I think it is only wise to keep the person with the most powerful manifestation of the Ancient gene on Earth for its protection."

O'Neill stared at the man. He hated accountants. Woolsey had been a pain in his butt when he was in charge of the SGC, and he was still trying to cause trouble. He glanced up at Landry.

"Hank, what do you think?"

Landry sat back in his chair. "I understand the position of the committee, but I am worried about Sheppard's reaction to this request. From Dr. Weir's reports, he is critical to the success of the expedition. She argued vehemently for his promotion and position as chief military officer in Atlantis. His gene is the only thing that will activate certain equipment, and they are constantly finding new devices. I am hesitant to disrupt things."

Woolsey looked between the two generals. "Gentlemen, we are talking about the survival of this planet. I would think that would take precedence over any other concern."

"I agree that it is a major concern, but I think there are other factors that have to be considered. I'd like to consider this and get back to you tomorrow."

Woolsey stood up, taking Landry's words for the dismissal they were. "General, I assure you the committee is very firm in their request for Sheppard to remain on Earth."

O'Neill stepped forward. "Mr. Woolsey, let's take a walk." He held out his arm, ushering the man from Landry's office and down the hall to the window overlooking the infirmary.

Woolsey looked down into the quarantine room. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard lay on a hospital bed, pale and unconscious. Various tubes went in and out of him, delivering and removing fluids. A heart monitor was beeping quietly. Next to him, Dr. Rodney McKay worked on his ubiquitous laptop. The tall Satedan leaned against the wall, his focus on Sheppard. "What exactly am I looking at, General?"

Jack O'Neill looked down at the trio. "Mr. Woolsey, you are observing a tightly knit team coming together around a fallen teammate. They will not willingly leave him behind, and he is critical to their success on Atlantis."

"I heard General Landry the first time. I think Earth should take precedence over Atlantis."

"Well, I think you should be prepared for Sheppard to refuse to stay."

Woolsey was obviously startled. "He's in the military, General. He will go where he is ordered to go."

O'Neill looked Woolsey in the eye. "That may be true. However, he also has the option of resigning. Be very sure that you are willing to risk that happening."

Woolsey looked taken aback. "He can't resign. He's the only one who can easily operate Earth's most powerful defenses."

"At present, the US does not have conscripted troops. Sheppard is an officer and can resign if he wishes." O'Neill began to lead Woolsey away from the infirmary window and back toward Landry's office. "People stay in the military for different reasons. When I met Sheppard in Antarctica, he was facing the end of his career, knowing he was going no where. By sending him to Atlantis, we gave him a reason to stay in. If you remove his reason for staying in, he could easily leave. I strongly suggest you consider some form of carrot rather than a stick if you want Sheppard's cooperation."

Woolsey continued on to his assigned quarters, lost in thought. The IOC was not going to like this state of affairs one bit.

In the meantime, O'Neill returned to Landry's office, finding the other man staring at the wall.

"You know, I never found any answers on that wall though I stared at it long and hard."

Landry started and turned to face Jack. "What did you say to Woolsey?"

"I just tried to demonstrate the loyalty of military teams to each other and to a cause. I pointed out that Sheppard could leave if he wanted to."

Landry nodded. "Yeah, that was my concern. Atlantis gave him a new start on his career. If we take that away, he could be out of here."

"I suggested Woolsey look for a carrot."

"I have an idea about that. I wanted to run it by you first, though. It may sound crazy, but there is more than one way to gain access to genes."

O'Neill leaned forward as Landry began describing his idea for assuring Earth the defenders it needed.

_Atlantis_

The mess hall was quiet at the tail end of the dinner hour. Most folks had eaten and moved on to other activities. In one corner, Dr. Carson Beckett sat with Kate Heightmeyer. Their dishes were empty, and they appeared to be having some after dinner conversation. However, the topic was the expedition leader.

Carson shook his head. "I don't know what to do. She doesn't appear to be eating. Instead, she seems to be existing on coffee and sheer stubbornness. With the lack of closure on John, Rodney, and Ronon, coupled with the uncertainty about Earth, I'm afraid the stress is making her ill."

Kate nodded. "All those things you mentioned can be signs of depression. I'm not sure I can talk to her without her realizing something is up."

"I don't think that matters. I'll pull medical rank if I have to. She is making herself ill, and her judgment could be questionable." He looked Kate in the eye. "That said, I don't want to add to her burden. Try to be gentle, lass."

Kate smiled. "Aye, sir. I'll go for indirect. Maybe if we begin discussing a memorial service it will give me an opening."

Carson nodded as he rose from the table, grabbing his tray. "Good idea. I wish you luck."

Kate nodded and followed him to the scullery with her tray. She was going to need some luck to get Elizabeth Weir to open up.

TBC

Please review!  



	8. Adjusting

**Disclaimer: All characters and locations are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended to infringe on those rights.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------  
**

**Adjusting**

The next morning, Rodney McKay was grabbing his coffee and heading to the infirmary when he ran into Colonel Stephen Caldwell. "Colonel Caldwell," McKay nodded, and moved to go past the man in the direction of the infirmary.

Caldwell put out his hand to stop McKay. "Dr. McKay, I'm glad I found you. I need you and Ronon ready to leave tomorrow at 0600 hours. The _Daedalus_ needs to get back to Atlantis."

"Colonel, I thought we discussed this. Ronon and I are part of Sheppard's team, and we don't leave team members behind."

"You're not leaving him behind, McKay, you're just giving him time to heal. He will be on a later transport."

"He needs our support, particularly in a strange place."

"Dr. McKay, he is a soldier. He is used to waking up in infirmaries. Besides, we have our orders. Don't make me late."

With that, Caldwell turned and entered the mess hall. Rodney McKay continued to the infirmary, donned the gown and mask, and entered to find Ronon already keeping watch next to Sheppard.

"He seems quieter but he's still hot," said the Satedan.

"I ran into Caldwell, and he still insists on leaving tomorrow. I'm not sure how to keep from going."

"Say no."

"It's not that easy. If I insist on staying here, I could be blocked from the Atlantis project completely. You wouldn't be able to go home and would probably be kept in some facility like this, a private lab rat for someone." Rodney looked down at his laptop. "I've also been thinking about Dr. Weir. She still doesn't know what's happened. I heard Landry told them not to call back until Earth called first. That means they won't know anything until the _Daedalus_ gets there.

The two men sat quietly, contemplating their wounded teammate and the people they'd left behind.

_Atlantis_

Kate Heightmeyer, resident psychiatrist on Atlantis, stood outside Dr. Elizabeth Weir's door and contemplated the expedition leader. She had not seen her in the mess hall for breakfast, so this was the first chance she had had to observe her since her conversation with Dr. Beckett. Dr. Weir's face was drawn, and her clothes hung from her. As Kate watched, she picked up her mug of coffee, and her hand shook slightly. Though looking at her laptop, Kate couldn't help but feel that Elizabeth wasn't really seeing the report displayed there. Finally, she knocked.

"Excuse me, do you have a minute?"

Dr. Weir looked up and, giving Kate a small smile, put her mug down. "Of course. What can I do for you, Kate?"

Kate entered and took a seat in front of Elizabeth's desk. Leaning forward, she looked at her feet a moment before looking straight at Elizabeth. "I'm concerned for the base personnel. I think we are going to need a memorial service sooner rather than later to help people deal with the loss. Since we have lost both Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay, both the scientists and the military are uneasy. Have you given any thought to a service of some kind?"

Elizabeth looked out at the control room, trying to control her emotions. She swallowed convulsively and cleared her throat. "I spoke to Dr. Beckett, Major Lorne, and Teyla earlier about this. I was thinking we should wait until the _Daedalus_ returns before we have a service. There is, after all, some slight chance that they will return."

Kate leaned back in the chair. "That makes some sense, but the _Daedalus_ may be delayed by repairs or, worse, may not return. I'm afraid that the lack of closure is hurting everyone. Have you thought of contacting Stargate Command for some kind of estimate on the return of the _Daedalus?_"

"They asked us not to. They wanted us to save power and wait for them to contact us. I admit I have thought of going against their wishes."

"You may want to consider that option. The tension is getting to everyone, including you."

Elizabeth looked up at that, and Kate looked her square in the eye. Unable to keep up the contact, Elizabeth resumed looking at her laptop.

"I realize that I, too, am grieving in some ways."

"No, Elizabeth, you are trying not to grieve, and the stress is manifesting itself in your lack of eating and lack of sleep. For the benefit of this expedition, I suggest you give yourself time to come to terms with this loss. You know Carson and I are here for you."

"Thank you, Kate. I may take you up on that." Elizabeth still could not meet the psychologist's eye. She was afraid she would lose control in her office, in full view of the staff in the control room.

Kate rose to leave, recognizing a dismissal when she heard it. "Please make it sooner, rather than later. At times like these, the way in which the leader handles the loss can set the tone for the rest of the staff." With that, she left.

Dr. Weir continued to stare at her laptop without reading anything. Finally, after getting herself mostly under control, she stepped out of her office and moved down to the balcony for a while to regroup. Contacting Stargate Command would be the obvious solution, but she, too, was concerned about the power drain on the ZPM. But even that contact would not solve the problem of the missing men. On the other hand, a service with no knowledge of what had happened to their people would provide only partial closure. As Elizabeth went back to her office, she contacted Teyla by radio to set up a meeting to discuss a service.

_Cheyenne Mountain Complex, SGC_

Dr. McKay and Ronon Dex were still sitting with Colonel Sheppard that afternoon when Dr. Lam returned to check on her patient.

"Good news, gentlemen. We have been able to culture the bacteria causing Colonel Sheppard's fever, and we think we have an antibiotic that will finally do the trick." As she was explaining to them the solution the staff had found, a nurse was hanging another, smaller bag from the IV stand. "This new antibiotic is more specific to the bacteria and should act more quickly."

"So, when will he wake up? Colonel Caldwell, the despot, is insisting we leave tomorrow on the _Daedalus_ and we'd like to at least know he's ok."

Dr. Lam shook her head. "I'm sorry, Dr. McKay, but I can't put a time on his waking up. Besides the fever, he is still suffering from malnutrition and stress. We've dealt with the dehydration, but the other could affect his return to consciousness."

"That's just great. He's going to think we abandoned him, and I'll never hear the end of it."

Dr. Lam was beginning to wonder at the nature of the relationship between Rodney McKay and John Sheppard when Ronon caught her eye and rolled his eyes. She decided not to take McKay at face value.

"Gentlemen, though you may continue to sit with your friend, I can assure you he will be out of it for the next several hours. If you have anything else you need to do on base before you leave, you might want to take this opportunity to get it done." With that, she checked Sheppard's vitals and left.

McKay closed his laptop and looked over at Ronon. "I have an idea. We can probably get someone from SG-1 to be here. I think they would understand about waking up in a strange place. I'm going to the lab?" He stood up. "Do you want to come?"

Ronon looked over at the sleeping Colonel. "Alright. Then I'll stop back by the gym one more time."

They moved to the door and got rid of the masks and gowns. McKay led the way to the lab where Colonel Carter worked most often. As luck would have it, Dr Jackson was also present, showing Carter the data from the chair that McKay had collected. They looked up as the two Atlantis expedition members entered.

Daniel spoke first. "Oh, hi, we were just going to come find you. This interface you wrote for the chair is interesting, but we're not sure about how to interpret some of the data. Do you have time…"

"Yes, yes, yes, I'll do my usual job of explaining mysteries and saving the day. Right now, though, we have something more important to ask."

Carter and Jackson looked at each other and back to McKay. What could be more important? "Uh, ok, what do you need?"

Suddenly McKay seemed awkward. "Uh, well, you see on Atlantis, Ronon and I are part of Colonel Sheppard's team. We have this practice of staying with any team member who is injured until they are on the way to recovery. Yes, I know it sounds like baby sitting, but it is really helpful. Anyway, Caldwell is leaving tomorrow and we have to be on the ship. Your local witchdoctor doesn't think Sheppard will wake up before then so, we were wondering if, uh, you or a member of your team could, uh, be there when the Colonel wakes up."

Sam Carter smiled at McKay's awkwardness. She looked over at Daniel and realized he, too, was remembering way too many vigils in the infirmary for Jack O'Neill. Sam was also remembering several vigils for Daniel, not all of which ended well. "Sure, we can take turns being around. I'll ask General O'Neill if he will help since Colonel Sheppard knows him the best of all of us."

Daniel nodded. "Sure, no problem. Though I'm not sure what he would think if he woke up to Teal'c."

Sam smiled at the image Daniel conjured up. "Indeed." Both members of SG-1 giggled at that, while Ronon and McKay just looked confused.

Daniel suddenly looked up at Ronon. "You sparred with Teal'c yesterday, right?"

Ronon nodded.

"So who won?"

McKay looked over at Ronon. "Yeah, you never said."

Ronon just smiled.

_Atlantis_

The dinner hour had come and gone and Dr. Elizabeth Weir was still in her office. She said she had to review reports, but she was really caught up and was trying to keep from going back to her room. Her sleep had been disturbed by nightmares, recently, most having to do with John, Rodney, and Ronon being fed on by the wraith. Finally, with no more ways to waste time, she closed her laptop, turned off the lights, and made her way to the living quarters. She didn't stop at her own, however. She continued down the hall to John Sheppard's quarters. She knew his code in case of emergency, so she let herself in.

She had seen his quarters a few times, but had never spent much time here. In one corner was a guitar, and a poster of Johnny Cash was on the wall. She picked up his copy of _War and Peace_, and smiled to see he had made it to page 40. "_Forty pages in two years, John. At that rate, this book should last awhile_." She put the book down and sat down on the bed. There was still dirty laundry in one corner, and a skateboard peeked out from under his bed. Everything in the room screamed John Sheppard, and suddenly the thought of never seeing him again overwhelmed her. She lay down on his bed, giving in to the sobs. When the first bout of tears was over, she noticed that his pillow held his scent, a mixture of soap and shampoo and something that was uniquely John. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes, cherishing the scent. Eventually, she fell asleep in his room.

_SGC – Cheyenne Mountain Complex_

Dr. Rodney McKay, in a foul mood in spite of coffee, was sitting with Ronon Dex in the mess hall at 0530 hours. They had already packed and had been by to check on Sheppard who was still unconscious but stable.

"I still say we shouldn't leave him." Ronon's expression was grim even for him.

"We've had this discussion. I can't change Caldwell into a caring human being, and I can't go against the military mindset."

"Correct, Dr. McKay. I hope you are packed."

McKay jumped up and turned to find Colonel Stephen Caldwell behind him with a wry grin on his face.

"Yes we are packed. I still say we don't need to leave this quickly."

"Dr. McKay, I am not going back to Atlantis without both its chief scientist and its ranking military officer. I will at least be able to give Dr. Weir her chief scientist back. Now, if you gentlemen will accompany the sergeant, he will take you to the ship."

Caldwell left without giving them time to respond. An uncompromising sergeant stepped forward to take their luggage. "Follow me, sirs."

They left for the _Daedalus._

Two hours later, in the infirmary, Jack O'Neill sat by John Sheppard's bed. Now that they knew the bacterium causing the infection, the medical staff had cancelled the mask and gown requirement. O'Neill was glad since he wasn't sure he could have stood it. When Carter had contacted him, he volunteered to take the morning shift. He had just started his crossword when he realized the patient was stirring. He looked up at a nurse and signaled for her to get the doctor.

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard slowly became aware of his body. He tried to stretch but quickly realized he had an IV in his arm. He grimaced as he felt the catheter. That meant he had been out for some time. He cracked open his eyes, bracing for the bright lights of the Atlantis infirmary, but found instead a dark, high-ceilinged room. The infirmary smells were the same, but this wasn't Atlantis.

"He's awake doctor."

The voice came from the foot of the bed, and Sheppard glanced that way to see a nurse recording his vital signs from some monitors.

A dark-haired woman moved into his line of sight.

"'Lizabeth?" His voice was raspy.

Reaching for some water and holding a straw for him, Dr. Lam replied, "No, Colonel, I'm Dr. Carolyn Lam. Do you know where you are?"

"Actually, no. Smells like infirmary, but not Atlantis. Exactly how many trucks ran over me?"

Dr. Lam smiled. He must be doing better if he could joke. "You are in the infirmary at Stargate Command. What do you remember?"

Sheppard closed his eyes in concentration. In a slightly stronger voice, he said, "I remember being on the hive, then flying the dart to Antarctica. I know I got to the chair, but I don't remember much about the battle. Can I assume we won?" He looked at the doctor again. She looked over at O'Neill.

"Yes we did win, Colonel," said O'Neill. Sheppard glanced to his other side and saw the general was sitting next to him, leaning forward. "Unfortunately, as soon as the battle was over you lost consciousness. The big guy caught you before you dented your head on the floor of the chair room."

The doctor continued. "You probably lost consciousness due to the combination of an infection with fever, exhaustion, and a slight case of malnourishment. We've taken care of those, but you still have a nasty laceration on your leg that will require some physical therapy. In fact, I was just getting ready to change the dressing when you woke up. So if you don't mind. . .?" She moved toward the foot of the bed to remove the sheets from his leg.

Sheppard nodded then, realizing something, he suddenly turned to O'Neill. "Where're McKay and Ronon? Are they OK?"

"They're fine. Caldwell and Landry decided to get them back to Atlantis as quickly as possible since there has been no communication since before the battle. I think they thought Dr. Weir might want to know she doesn't need to put out a help wanted ad. They shipped out this morning, but not without great protest. That's why you have me sitting in."

Sheppard looked taken aback. "Thank you, sir."

"Anytime, Colonel."

John jerked suddenly as Dr. Lam pulled on a tender part of his leg. "Sorry about that. I haven't stitched you because the wound was so old. Instead, we've used maggots to clean the wound, and we now have healthy tissue to work with. I'm going to wrap your leg rather than suture it, so you are going to have to be more careful than you would normally with a wound of this type."

John had missed half of what she said. "Maggots?"

Dr. Lam smiled. "Yes, Colonel, sometimes the old remedies are the best. As soon as your fever is completely normal, I'll get you started on some physical therapy. Now, how about some breakfast?"

As if responding to the comment, John's stomach growled. "Breakfast sounds good, but I'm not really up for any fruit right now."

Dr. Lam signaled to the nurse to fetch a tray. "Fine, I think we can work with that. I'll check on you later." With that, she left Sheppard with O'Neill.

O'Neill was about to ask about the hive ship when he noticed Sheppard had fallen asleep again. Unperturbed, he picked up his crossword and tried to think of a four letter word for a heavenly body.

**TBC**

**Please Review**!


	9. Personal Requests

** A/N: This chapter contains the plot bunny that started this whole story. I couldn't get it out of my head, so it is being produced.**

** Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, and all of their characters and locations are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended as an infringement.  
**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Personal Requests**

_SGC – Cheyenne Mountain Complex_

"You asked to see me, General Landry?" Mr. Woolsey stood in the doorway to Landry's office.

The general rose and gestured to a chair facing his desk. "Yes, please have a seat." Woolsey sat down. Shutting the door, Landry sat down behind his desk and eyed Woolsey speculatively.

"Mr. Woolsey, you have stated the Council's concern about Colonel Sheppard's availability for the defense of Earth."

"Yes," nodded Woolsey, "the council feels that defense of the home world should come before the importance of any outpost."

Landry nodded, one had stroking his chin. "OK. I think General O'Neill shared with you our concern about Colonel Sheppard's willingness to accept such an assignment."

Woolsey looked uncomfortable. "I must admit, General, I have been giving a lot of thought to General O'Neill's comments. I don't think the Council ever considered the possibility of Sheppard's refusal. I am, frankly, unsure how to present such a situation to the council. They were adamant regarding his reposting to Earth."

"As you know, we have been testing vigorously for the ATA gene . . ."

"But you have not found it in anyone as strongly as it is in Colonel Sheppard," interrupted Woolsey.

Landry nodded. "I have a suggestion in that regard. It might just allow us to keep a valuable member of the Air Force while satisfying the council. It will, however, require some compromise." Landry looked pointedly at Woolsey.

Woolsey settled back in his chair. "I think any suggestion at this point is worth entertaining."

"Thank you, Mr. Woolsey." And Landry continued to outline the idea he had sketched out to O'Neill earlier.

General Jack O'Neill, meanwhile, was leaning against the door to the lab where Colonel Samantha Carter was working. Sensing his presence she looked up and smiled, though somewhat hesitantly.

Pushing off from the door, O'Neill ambled over to her workbench. "Hi," he said, hands in pockets.

Sam glanced at him then refocused on her work. "Hi yourself. Everything ok with Sheppard?"

"Yeah. He had no fever today so the doc is considering letting him out on crutches tomorrow. He has to be checked out by the physical therapist first."

"That's good. Thanks, by the way, for taking the first watch."

"No problem." A silence began to stretch between them.

"Uh, I noticed you didn't come with Daniel when he came up to fetch me."

"Well, you had said you needed some space, and I didn't want to press you." Sam continued moving things around on her workbench, studiously avoiding Jack's eyes.

"I think an emergency wouldn't have counted as 'pressing.'"

Sam stopped moving her hands. "I just wasn't sure how you would react, and I didn't want to have Daniel as an audience if you reacted badly."

"Did I react OK?"

"Yes." She looked up with that same hesitant smile and found a similar one on his face. Now it was his turn to find the workbench fascinating.

"You know, I may have found a solution to our little problem."

"Jack, it's OK, I understand. . . "

"No, Carter, it's not OK. I don't want to deny you anything. I just had to get my head around a few things." He looked up at her, then, and she could see he meant what he said.

"OK, then, what do you have in mind?"

"Well, it seems that Landry's having this problem with Sheppard and the IOC, and one solution might involve us, if you are willing."

Intrigued, Sam Carter settled down to listen to her suddenly shy husband.

The next day, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was finding it difficult to manipulate crutches. He hated being awkward, but as he lurched down the hall, that was exactly how he felt.

"You want to minimize the amount of weight you put on your leg since it isn't stitched," the doctor had told him. "I want you moving around, but don't put stress on the wound. In a few days you can start full physical therapy, but for now, just take it easy."

So, here he was, making his way grimly down the hall in the SGC. After three days in the infirmary, he was glad to be in base quarters and a uniform, even if modified for his leg wound. Actually, the shorts looked pretty good with his black t-shirt. He had been unsuccessful in manipulating the doctor into giving him scrubs early, and had only finally gotten rid of the catheter two days ago. God he hated hospital gowns!

He stopped in at the mess hall more to rest his arms than to get something to eat. Still, he grabbed some water to take with him to his command performance. General Landry had asked to meet with him.

John Sheppard entered the SGC briefing room and looked around. He was early. Given his difficulties with the crutches, he had allowed himself plenty of time to get to the meeting. He lurched over to the large window and looked at the Stargate in the embarkation room. Sometimes he found it hard to believe that two and half years ago he did not even know one could 'gate to other worlds. Now he was the military commander of a scientific base in another galaxy. At least, he thought he still was. He had a hunch that he had been called to this meeting to discuss that posting.

General Hank Landry entered the room and closed the door behind him. John came to attention.

"At ease, Colonel," said Landry, coming to stand next to him at the window, gazing down on the Stargate. Even when not operational, it was impressive. "Amazing, isn't it? I still have trouble believing all the things that we've done."

Sheppard glanced over at the General and nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. I certainly didn't expect to be posted to Atlantis when I joined the Air Force."

Landry chuckled. "And I didn't think I would be commanding soldiers who explored space. Fate has a way of dealing us odd hands."

"Yes sir," said John, wondering where this was going.

Landry turned toward the table and motioned for John to join him. Sheppard walked over and carefully sat down, placing the crutches beside his chair. Landry, rather than taking the head of the table, took a seat across from John. He leaned on his arms with his hands clasped then looked up. "Colonel, I have a matter of some delicacy to discuss with you, and I want you to speak freely."

John was amazed that the general seemed uncomfortable. Feeling even more uneasy, John nodded. "OK, sir, whatever."

Landry cleared his throat and thought a moment. No matter what he said, this was going to be difficult.

"As you know, in our recent battle with the wraith, we were having a lot of trouble using the ancient weapons until you showed up." John nodded in acknowledgement. Landry glanced at his hands clasped on the table.

"This experience has made the international council very uncomfortable. They are concerned that the best person to use the weapons is stationed in another galaxy."

John paled. "While that is true, Atlantis can now send me back at any time."

"Yes, I know that Colonel, but the council is still concerned, and they asked specifically that you be reassigned to Earth for its protection."

Sheppard quickly looked down at the table and tried to impose a mask on his features. His body, however, stiffened, and his voice showed some strain. "So does this mean I am not to return to Atlantis?" Proof again that no good deed goes unpunished.

"That's the wish of the council. . . . However,. . . "

Sheppard looked up at the general as he paused. Could there be a little hope in that comment?

Clearing his throat again, Landry looked up and continued. "The United States is concerned that Earth's defense not depend on one man. That is why we have been testing aggressively for the ATA gene. As you can see, our search for the naturally occurring gene has not been all that successful."

John nodded, not sure what else to do.

"The gene therapy developed by Dr. Beckett has also had some limited success, but not adequate to the defense of the planet."

John nodded again. So far the general had brought up naturally occurring and unnaturally occurring genes. What did that leave?

"So, our government would like to attempt a more aggressive method for propagating the gene in the population." He paused.

Sheppard was confused. If this meant a better gene therapy, shouldn't the general be talking to Beckett?

"Colonel, there is no easy way to say this." Another pause as the general cleared his throat. "We would like you to provide us with some of your DNA to help us increase the frequency of the gene."

John paused. "Would this be just a better gene therapy?"

"Uh, no, Colonel. We are asking you to be a . . . sperm donor."

John Sheppard was stunned. Shaking his head, as if to clear it, he said "Let me get this straight. The International Council is concerned about me being in Atlantis and wants me to remain on Earth, but the United States is willing to let me go back if I will make a few deposits in a cup?"

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way," said Landry, "but that is essentially correct."

John got up, grabbed his crutches, and returned to the window, his movements even more jerky with agitation. He was now facing the gate again with his head down. "At least the last folks who 'asked for my DNA' sent a beautiful woman to seduce me." His body radiated tension.

Landry leaned back in his chair. He had had no idea how this man would take this request. Most men were flattered, and some were downright eager. He knew, however, that there were men who were very uncomfortable with the idea of sperm donation, and he was afraid he had just met one. He decided to wait in silence to see if Sheppard would volunteer any more information.

"I can understand the concern for finding the gene, but your request goes against decisions I made long ago. I have done everything I can to be sure there are no extra little unwanted or unloved Sheppards running around without fathers. . . ."

Landry decided that was something he could answer. "Wait a moment. Your, uh, donations would be used to provide children for carefully screened couples, couples who are eager to have a child. In two cases, they have been unable to conceive –"

John swung toward Landry, a stunned look on his face. "You already have them picked out?"

"Well, yes, we wanted to know how feasible this idea was, so we started looking for appropriate homes."

Sheppard, angry at the cavalier attitude of the USAF, crutched over to Landry who was still at the table. "We are not talking about puppies here, General, we are talking about my children."

But Landry was getting testy as well, and he rose and leaned over the conference table. "Yes we are, Colonel, and your children will carry a gene that will help to protect Earth into the future." Coming around the table and invading Sheppard's space, he continued, "We **need** your children."

Sheppard pulled back, and Landry knew when to make a strategic retreat and set up the big guns.

"I think you need a while to think about this. I know it came out of left field. We'll talk about it more later." The general nodded, then turned and headed for the door.

John backed up some and tried to take a deep breath. He turned back to stare at the gateroom. He was almost desperate to get back to Atlantis. He had been gone four weeks, by his count, and no message had been sent. The _Daedalus_ wouldn't be in communications range for another two weeks. He was worried about Elizabeth.

He heard the door open softly behind him and another person enter and move over to the window.

"Hello, Colonel."

John looked up to see General Jack O'Neill standing next to him. "Hello, General."

"Colonel, I'm retired. It's just Jack," he said, holding out his hand.

"John," said Sheppard, accepting the peace offering. As he dropped O'Neill's hand, he glanced away. "I take it you know about this request they are making?

"Uh, yeah. In fact, Carter and I are one of the couples."

John's head swung around and he stared at O'Neill. "You and Colonel Carter?"

"Yeah, well, when I retired a lot of those pesky regulations went away."

"No, sir, that's not what I meant. I would have thought you would want your own son."

"Well, we did. Unfortunately, we left it a little late, so things don't work as well as they used to." He paused. "Essentially, I'm shooting blanks, and Carter really wants a child," he said softly.

John took a moment to consider the situation. He knew, first hand, what it was like to love from afar due to regulations. He could not imagine what it was like to finally be together only to have this experience denied to them. But here was one man who might understand his position. John scratched the back of his head nervously and cleared his throat.

"General, . . .

"Uh-uh, Jack."

"Jack, one reason this request bothers me so much is that I've only recently even considered having children. And the one person I want to have children with is, well, officially beyond my reach."

"I wondered about that. I was going to suggest that you consider using this situation to your advantage."

"How so, sir?"

"Well, it appears to me that Atlantis is not a military expedition, and even if it was, it is in very unique circumstances. Therefore, the usual regulations make no sense."

There was a pause as John considered this statement. Hesitantly, he said, "So I might suggest changes to the regulations in exchange for my, uh, donations?"

"I think that would be an excellent plan, John. And since I have experience with this sort of tension, I think I can help you out there."

For the first time since he began his meeting with Landry, John thought this might turn out ok.

"Look, John, I think you need to get your mind on something else for awhile. I was thinking, since you are now allowed out, why don't we adjourn to a watering hole and relax, talk about something else. Carter, Daniel, Teal'c, and Cameron sent me to invite you. They'd like to hear about some of the fun of the Pegasus galaxy."

"Wraith? Fun? Well, those are two words I wouldn't put together, but there are some other events that might be worth mentioning." He began to ease toward the door, and O'Neill moved to get in front and open it for him. "Thanks. I'm not too coordinated with the crutches."

As they moved down the hall toward the elevator, John said, "So, did I tell you the one about the Athosian version of hide and seek?"

_Atlantis_

Elizabeth Weir stared at what she had typed.

**Lieutenant Colonel John Shepard joined the Atlantis expedition in the final days before departure, but he brought with him a full commitment to its success. Besides having the Ancient gene, Colonel Sheppard had an excellent military mind, and complete dedication to the safety of those under his care.**

It sounded so dull. Where was the quirky sense of humor? The spiky hair? Ferris wheels, football, and the complete joy in flying anything? "_John, how am I going to capture the real you in a piece short enough to get through without breaking down?"_

She and Teyla had begun the process of preparing the memorial service. They were going to give the _Daedalus_ two more weeks to get home, but they were going to hold it in two weeks regardless. Beckett and Heightmeyer had insisted she begin to write out what she would say, hoping the process would help her grieve. She had already written something about Ronon. Her attempt to honor Rodney was only marginally better than the paragraph she had on John.

At a soft knock, she looked up to find Teyla at her office door.

"Are you working on your memorials?"

"Yes. I reached a block and I thought I would come find you to see how you were doing." She came into the office and sat in the chair in front of Elizabeth's desk. "As leader of a people constantly culled by the wraith, I have lost many friends and family. This loss feels worse, for some reason."

Elizabeth leaned forward, clasping her hands on the desk before looking up. "Perhaps it is because you were part of a team, and you weren't there to protect them or to share their fate."

Teyla stared at her hands in her lap. "Perhaps."

There was silence for a moment as both women considered the lost team.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Teyla, I was wondering if you would help me compose a video message to both John's family and Rodney's family. I know neither of them were particularly close to their homes, but I feel I need to offer their families closure. I thought I would see if you wanted to speak to them since you were on the same team."

Teyla looked up at Elizabeth and considered the request. "I would be honored. Please let me know when you would like to prepare this message."

Elizabeth gave a small smile. "Thank you, Teyla. I appreciate your willingness to help. I will let you know when I can arrange a video camera."

Teyla stood to leave. "Do you wish to spar tomorrow?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes, I think sparring has helped a little bit."

"Yes, you are improving as well. I will check with you tomorrow at lunch, then. Good night."

"Good night Teyla." She watched the other woman leave, then turned back to her laptop. The stark paragraph was still on the screen. It said little about the captivating man she had come to. . . what? Care for? Love? Sighing, she saved her work and shut down the machine. She left it on her desk as she went to find "their" balcony. Perhaps she would find some inspiration.

_SGC – Cheyenne Mountain Complex_

"The doctors have said they would like ten specimens to start with."

John swallowed hard. He was sitting in Landry's office, working through exactly what they wanted from him as a sperm donor. He was armed with a lot of suggestions made last night by O'Neill and SG-1, but he was not prepared for the number of 'donations' requested.

He looked Landry in the eye. "In return for these specimens, I respectfully request that the SGC revisit the fraternization rules. As a mixed expedition of military and civilian personnel, the traditional rules do not easily apply to Atlantis. I suggest that they could be revised and clarified to allow some types of relationships in a situation so far from home."

Landry had wondered if there was someone in Atlantis. Sheppard had seemed almost desperate to go back since he had regained consciousness. Now it seems there was a strong tie here.

"I was not aware this was a negotiation, Colonel."

"I have learned from an expert, sir, that almost anything can be a negotiation." John smiled, thinking of an international negotiator who now worked on the interplanetary, no intergalactic scale.

"Colonel, you know the reasons for those regulations as well as I do."

"Yes sir, and I think some will have to stay in place. For example, the prohibition of relationships between people in the same military chain of command should be preserved. The problem, sir, is that the rules have been interpreted to apply to the entire mission, civilians and military, and the restrictions have caused some problems. I have found that most people want to obey the rules, but some rules are too difficult to obey."

"I assume you have some suggestions you would like to put forward?"

"Yes sir. In exchange for these concessions, and my return to Atlantis in my role as military commander, I would provide . . . five donations for the doctors. If more are needed later, I can return. I also will agree to return through the Stargate any time Earth is threatened."

Landry considered the offer. It was what the doctors wanted. He had just doubled the number to have a fallback position. The rules and regs seemed ridiculous in a situation such as Atlantis, so Sheppard's changes would probably not be so bad.

"I'll take your proposal to the council. In the mean time, you can write up those recommendations." Landry stood and extended his hand.

John took it and looked carefully at the general's face. As they shook hands, John felt that this man was dealing fairly, and if a good solution could come from this, he would make it happen. He decided to risk one more request.

"Thank you, sir. Could I ask for one more favor?"

Cautious, Landry responded, "What's on your mind, Colonel?"

"Well, sir, I missed the _Daedalus_, and I was wondering if we could borrow the ZPM long enough to give me a lift home."

After some consideration, Landry nodded. "Ok, Colonel, I think that can be arranged. I was planning on using it to contact Atlantis about the battle. But if we are going to expend the power, let's use it to get some more people there. I have some personnel files you can review while you're waiting to donate."

"Waiting, sir? Surely it would only take a day or so to make five donations."

"I've been told by the doctors that they prefer around 48 hours between donations, so you will be with us for awhile longer".

Landry turned to precede him out the door. "Oh, and Colonel," Landry paused before opening the door. "Since you are anxious to get back, you might want to consider making a donation today. If you start today, you can be out of here in," he stopped to think, "eight days." With a smile, Landry opened the door and ushered John out.

John blinked. Eight more days! He shook his head and turned toward the infirmary. He would get the regulations changed first, then look for some additional personnel. And while he was at it, he'd see what he could do about finding some new amenities for Atlantis.

TBC

Please review! I am particularly interested in what folks think of this twist, the "consequences" of the title.


	10. The First Four Days that Became Six

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed. You did what I needed and pointed out some inconsistencies and things not explained. This chapter is a little longer since I'm trying to explain things. It is also an in between chapter, so please be patient while I work this stuff out.**

** A/N2: Please forgive any mistakes about the military! I'm using the web for checking facts, but I don't have them all. **

**  
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, and all their locations and names, are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended to infringe.**

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**

**The First Four Days That Turned Into Six**

Colonel Samantha Carter tapped on General Landry's open door.

"Come in, Colonel Carter," said Landry, standing behind his desk and motioning to a chair.

"Thank you, sir," she said, as she shut the door behind her and took a seat. "You asked to see me?"

Landry moved to the front of his desk and sat on the edge. "How comfortable are you with moving the ZPM here from Atlantis?"

Sam considered the question. "Well, sir, I worked with Dr. McKay to develop the procedures we used for the Atlantis trip, and I worked with our scientists to develop the interface to the SGC power systems."

"So you feel confident you could head up the process to move it here for another Pegasus trip and then back to Antarctica?"

"Yes, sir, of course. Are we planning to do that?"

Landry crossed his arms. "You may remember that I told Dr. Weir that we would contact her after the battle. I think it is time to send that message. Also, I have just agreed to let Colonel Sheppard get a quick lift home given his cooperation."

Sam paused. "Permission to speak freely?"

Landry looked taken aback. "Of course, Colonel, what's on your mind?"

"It's just that the battle was over a week ago. I was wondering why you put off the message so long, and why you didn't allow Dr. McKay and Specialist Dex to return through the gate?"

"Ah," Landry smiled in understanding, stood up and moved behind his desk to sit down. "Well, the problem was politics, as usual."

Sam was confused. "I don't understand."

"Well, really politics with a healthy dose of the knowledge of human nature." Landry paused and leaned forward on his desk. "You see, Colonel, I knew our problems with the weapons chair would concern the IOA. You could say I was not surprised when Woolsey stated the council wanted to keep Sheppard on Earth. So I was trying to plan ahead."

"Plan ahead?"

"Yes. I knew Sheppard would not want to stay on Earth. I wasn't sure if I could get the council to go along with my, uh, breeding program, so I needed to set things up in case it didn't go my way. I sent McKay and Dex home before Sheppard woke up. That way, they wouldn't be around to support his position in case I lost the battle with the IOA. Later, if we had to inform Atlantis of the reassignment, it would be a done deal."

"OoooooKay. I think I see that part, but why the delay in the message? Some would consider that cruel to the outpost. The people there must be thinking they've lost three key personnel."

Landry grimaced slightly. "Yes, that was unfortunate but necessary. I wanted to wait to send the message until after I knew Sheppard was on board. I thought the desire to return to Atlantis would be pressure enough, but just in case, I delayed contacting Atlantis so the pressure would be higher. I also suspected he would want to be sent back by gate, and I didn't want to expend the energy twice."

"I see," said Sam, looking down with a frown of concentration on her face. She looked up. "I'm not sure I would want to be in your shoes right now, trying to balance a military/exploratory program against political pressure."

Landry smiled. "But Colonel, that's what the military has always had to do: balance the safety and security of the country against political and economic realities. Have I answered your questions?"

"Yes, sir, and thank you for indulging me. When would you like me to have the ZPM installed?"

"I believe Colonel Sheppard will be ready in about eight days. If you use the _Odyssey's_ transporter, could you get it done in that length of time?"

"No problem, sir. With your permission, I'll get a small team together and check out the connections here before leaving tomorrow."

"Permission granted, Colonel." Carter stood up as did Landry, extending his hand. "Good luck, Colonel. We'll see you soon."

Shaking his hand, Carter smiled. "Thank you sir. We'll be back before you know it." She turned to the door, then turned back. "Uh, sir, one more question?"

Landry nodded.

Carter concentrated, then said, "How did you get the IOA to accept the breeding program instead of Sheppard?"

Landry smiled again. "I made sure they understood the consequences of losing Sheppard completely if he left the Air Force."

Carter smiled, nodded, and left the office for the science labs. It would take them at least one day just to reestablish the interface used to connect the ZPM to the SGC Stargate.

_Elsewhere in the SGC…_

"One – whoosh – Two --- whoosh – Three – whoosh…"

Jack O'Neill leaned against the door to the SGC gym, watching Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard working on curls. The crutches were leaning next to the machine. As Sheppard finished a set and sat up, O'Neill moved into the room.

"How many more?"

Sheppard looked up, wiping his face on a towel. "Just one set of free weight bench presses and I'm done for the day," he said, moving over to the set of barbells in the corner.

"Ok, I'll spot you. What weight?"

John looked a little embarrassed. "I haven't been to the Atlantis gym in awhile, so I'm starting low at 160."

O'Neill put 80 pounds of weights on one end of the barbell while Sheppard put the same on the other. They tightened the ends, then Sheppard lay down on the bench. He raised his hands to the bar and took a deep breath.

"Ready?" O'Neill placed his hands on the bar ready to help him lift the weights.

"Ready." John lifted the barbell out of the stand and lowered it to his chest. O'Neill began to count the repetitions.

"… Six…. Seven…. Eight….How many we going for?"

"Twelve," gasped Sheppard as he pushed the barbell up. "That's nine."

"…Ten… Eleven… Twelve." O'Neill put his hands on the barbell and helped Sheppard load it back in the stand.

Sheppard sat up and wiped his face again. O'Neill reached out and brought the crutches over to John.

"Thanks," said John. "What brings you down here?"

"Actually, I was looking for you. I didn't expect to see you here, though."

John stood up carefully, not putting his weight on his injured leg. "Well, my experience with crutches in the last two days convinced me to put in a little time building my upper body strength. It's also a great way to work off frustrations." He began moving himself to the door.

O'Neill followed. "Frustrations?"

"Yeah, you know, stuck on base 24 stories underground, unable to get around easily, the smirk of the nurse as I hand in my specimen. Frustrations."

O'Neill nodded. "Oh, those frustrations. He paused, touching John's arm to delay him moving through the door into the more public hall. "You know, I haven't really thanked you for agreeing to this.

John snorted. "Well, I didn't have much of a choice." He paused. "But I'm still curious why you and Colonel Carter wanted to participate. I've read all the mission files including the first one. I know you had a son once, so your, er, condition must be more recent."

O'Neill snorted in return. "Yeah. You remember the comment Rah made about using humans as hosts?

"Yeah, something about our bodies being easy to repair?"

"Right. Well, Ba'al decided to push that to an extreme, killing me and then bringing me back through the sarcophagus. Evidently some parts do wear out."

"I also read the mission report about your clone. Surely his DNA would have made more sense. It's yours, after all."

Now O'Neill made a face. "You said you read about my son. You realize he would have been only a couple of years older than my clone."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, it's hard to see someone that young as a copy. Instead, he seemed more like a son. At least, I began to interact that way with him. So, can you imagine asking your son to impregnate your wife?"

Now John made a face. "Uh, no, I guess not."

"Exactly."

O'Neill made a move to go and this time John stopped him. "You know, knowing you and Colonel Carter will be the parents is strange but reassuring. I wish I had that kind of feeling for the other potential parents. I really don't want a child of mine unwanted."

"Speaking from experience?"

"You could say that." He stopped there, the topic obviously closed.

O'Neill thought about it for a few seconds, then commented, "You know, this situation is not typical. I'll check with General Landry and see if we can arrange for you to at least know who they are even if you don't meet them. How does that sound?"

John expelled a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "I'd really appreciate it."

"Good." They finally began walking down the hall, Jack adjusting his pace to John's crutches. "Actually I came looking for you to maybe help out with one of those frustrations you were talking about."

They were making their way slowly down the hall to the elevator to the residential quarters. "Oh? What did you have in mind? Another bar run?"

"No, I was thinking of a shopping trip for the stuff they should have taken to Atlantis and are only now gradually getting there."

"Like,…"

"Oh, you know, a pool table, videos, volleyball sets, . . . how about a still?"

John laughed. "Actually, the chemists assembled one of those within the first two weeks. But the pool table is a good idea. I also need some more football videos."

"Say no more. Let's go."

"Let me grab a shower first."

"Ok, how 'bout we meet at the elevator in 30?"

"Twenty should do it."

"Done." And with that, O'Neill headed back toward the gateroom and Landry's office.

John turned and got on the elevator, feeling more upbeat than he had just a little while ago.

As Jack O'Neill got to Landry's office, he wasn't sure how he was going to bring up what he wanted to talk about. He knocked and got an "enter" in response, so he opened the door to find Hank Landry reviewing reports (what happened to the paperless office?)

Landry looked up. "What's on your mind, Jack?"

Jack sat down in the chair Carter had used earlier that day. "I just talked to Sheppard, thanking him for helping, and he said a couple of things that got me thinking."

"Dangerous, Jack, I thought Colonel Carter encouraged you to leave that to her," Landry said, deadpan.

"Nice," sneered Jack. "Seriously, he said he felt better about knowing Carter and I would be parents, and he wished he could know the other parents as well. Since this is not a normal anonymous sperm donation thing, and since all these families had to have clearance for the Stargate program, I was wondering if we couldn't bend the rules and let him at least meet these people. They don't have to know who he is."

Landry leaned back, rocking in his chair. "Let me check around. Since this is so unusual, we might be able to do something. We should probably keep it low key. . ."

"I was thinking of a barbeque."

Landry nodded. "Yep, that would be low key. We'd just invite folks to a base event. Include SG-1, maybe a few other teams, and let everyone bring the family. Blended in, he could at least meet everyone. You volunteering your house?"

"Uh, sure. I should probably check with Carter first."

"Wise choice, Jack." Landry opened his file again.

"Actually, Hank, there is one more thing."

Landry looked up at O'Neill who, if anything, looked a little more nervous. "What?"

"It was something Sheppard said about not wanting a child of his unloved."

That got Landry's attention. He closed the file. "Are you afraid those concerns would prevent him from completing the project?"

"Actually, I was wondering if it reflected some bad experience of his own. I haven't seen his file in awhile. What's his family background?"

Landry looked over to another stack of files and pulled one out, opening it up. His eyebrows went up some in surprise. "Career military. Father a cold war colonel. Looks like they moved around a lot. Lost his mother several years ago." He closed the file and looked thoughtful.

"And. . . .?"

"Well, I was just remembering he said something similar to me, about not wanting unwanted or unloved Sheppards running around."

"You assured him about the families picked out, right?"

"Yes, but I don't think that was enough." Landry looked directly at O'Neill. "Are you thinking we should contact his father? Looks like he's probably retired. He won't have clearance for the Stargate program."

O'Neill nodded. "I think there's a good chance he could get clearance if we asked, and I'm getting a hunch that we may want to. I wanted to run it by you since I wasn't sure if we should meddle."

Landry snorted. "Since when do you hesitate to meddle?" He opened the folder again to skim the page, then closed it. "Ok, here's what we'll do. I'll get in touch with some folks to see what kind of person he is and if he is a good candidate for clearance. Then, one of us will get in touch with him to see if he even wants to see his son. I don't want to set something up that will make Sheppard even more upset with us. If he wants to meet, we'll try to get him clearance and permission to read some mission reports. How's that sound?"

"Great," said Jack, getting to his feet.

"Wait a minute, Jack. If this works, we may want to get Sheppard out of here for a little while so his father can be briefed just like anyone else."

"I can do that.," said O'Neill, looking at his watch. "Crap, I'm late. I'm taking him shopping. Can we charge some Atlantis gear to the SGC?"

Landry frowned. "What and how much are we talking about here, Jack?"

"Oh, you know, a few cases of popcorn, peanuts, a few DVDs, . . .a pool table, …"

"Pool table?" Landry looked at Jack, then smiled. "Just don't let them scalp the military again."

"Will do," said Jack as he left, at a jog, to meet with John.

Landry turned to his phone. "Get me the Pentagon contact," he said to his aide.

The next morning saw John working on the policy changes he was recommending to the IOA. He was in his quarters, trying to balance a laptop on his bed while keeping his leg straight and elevated, a position that made typing difficult. He was reviewing the current military policies on fraternization as well as more common workplace policies on sexual harassment. He thought some combination of the two might meet their needs.

By lunch his brain felt fried, and he decided he hated bureaucracy. After a workout in the gym, he contacted Landry for some resumes and found the General packing.

"Good thing you caught me. I had a quick trip to DC come up. I'll arrange with my aide to get you whatever you need for interviewing."

"Thank you, sir," said John as Landry left in a hurry. He went next door to Landry's aide and was given some resumes to review, and he was able to set up some interviews for the next morning. As he was finishing up going over the papers in his quarters, O'Neill knocked on his open door.

"You up for another outing?"

John looked up. "Now?"

"No, I was thinking of tomorrow afternoon."

"What's going on this time?"

"Colonel Carter called in from Antarctica and asked if there was any way you could fly the wraith dart out. With the winter storms, the base personnel did not want to be responsible for it staying in one place or in one piece."

"Sure, no problem. Uh, should I check with Dr. Lam?"

"Probably a good idea," said Jack, leading the way to the infirmary.

Dr. Lam suggested that John get assistance in getting in and out of the dart, but that otherwise she was satisfied in how his leg was healing. John hobbled back to his quarters in a better frame of mind than he had started with, looking forward to the trip.

The next day, John conducted interviews with Atlantis wannabes. They were a mixed bag, but he found several that he wanted to interview again later. General Landry had not given him a limit in how many men he could take, but he knew how many they had lost, and hoped Landry would be generous.

After lunch, and after finding cold weather gear, he and Jack were transported to the Antarctic base.

Colonel Carter looked up from working next to the weapons chair and smiled at them. John was smiling back when he realized her eyes were on Jack who was grinning as well.

"Hi, guys. I'm sure glad to see you. I was hoping, Colonel, that I could talk you into a few tests with the chair before you take off. I haven't had a chance to work with it much, and I wanted to run a few diagnostics before removing the ZPM." She looked a little sheepish. "We're all still a little upset that we couldn't get it to work."

"Sure, no problem. And by the way, it's John," said Sheppard, sitting down in the chair and watching it light up.

"Ok, John. I'm Sam. Let's see what we can do."

The next couple of hours were spent running tests while John explored different things the chair would do, short of launching weapons. They were able to get a feel for how many more silos of drones were available, and Carter was able to see the count reflected in her data.

"That's great," said Sam as she closed down the laptop. "I think we're done here."

Jack jerked upright as John raised and deactivated the chair. O'Neill had been dozing to the sound of Carter's scientific jibberish, and he was glad that was done with.

"You know, it's kind of late to be starting back to Area 51," he said. "It's dusk there, and we really don't want any more flying saucer stories around that place. It seems all the nuts come out at night. Do you mind flying back tomorrow?"

"I have an early appointment tomorrow morning," said John, with a pointed look at O'Neill.

"No problem. We just dump it in Nevada and get a transport home."

John looked a little skeptical, but nodded. "OK, I guess we stay here. So, what are you guys doing for fun? At McMurdo we were making book on the penguins."

"To do what? March in formation?" said Carter, and she led them to the temporary quarters for visiting scientists and military.

_Virginia_

As Jack and John had been taking off for their trip to Antarctica, General Hank Landry was knocking on the door of Colonel Edward Sheppard (retired). The reports had come back of an upright soldier with a strong sense of integrity. His clearance had been high during his service, so Landry had started the paperwork for a renewed clearance for the Stargate program before catching the plane for Virginia to meet the man himself. Now he was waiting at the door of a modest home in a middle class neighborhood in Richmond.

The door opened to reveal a man in his late sixties who still carried himself with a military bearing. When he saw Landry's uniform, however, his shoulders sagged.

"He's dead, isn't he."

Landry could have kicked himself. He'd forgotten what this must look like. He should have called ahead.

"No, Colonel Sheppard, he is still alive and is serving under me. May I come in? I have something to discuss with you."

Colonel Edward Sheppard straightened up again and opened the door for his son's commanding officer.

_Antarctica_

The next day did not dawn since it was still winter in Antarctica. The dim day was still several hours away when John woke up in the living quarters and went to find some breakfast. The cold, icy floors of the base were making his crutches even more difficult to maneuver, so he was being careful.

"John," said O'Neill as Sheppard got to the door of the mess. "Come on over for some Fruit Loops."

John looked at the bowl of soggy sugary cereal and headed for the coffee pot and the pastries. "No thanks, I'm good," he said, holding up a bagel.

O'Neill just grinned. "How 'bout me going with you in the dart?"

"Jack, this is not a two-seater. I can't fly you back with me unless you want to go as wraith bait."

"Wraith bait?"

"Well, the wraith use these darts to collect humans for feeding on. They beam them up and keep them in an energy state until they reach the hive where they rematerialize. If you want to travel that way, I have no problem."

"Uh, never mind. I'll just go back by way of the _Odyssey_."

John just grinned.

After breakfast, they found two marines to help John into the dart. When he got it into the air, O'Neill signaled the _Odyssey _for a beam out.

Once they got to Area 51 with the dart, Sheppard spent several hours showing the scientists how the ship worked. He had to agree to ship Rodney's translation program back as soon as he got back to Atlantis. They were disappointed when he went to find Jack to leave.

"Well, I think that's it. I need to get back, Jack. I'm already late." He had found the general in the base rec room watching soccer.

O'Neill looked up and then back at the TV. This was it. He had to keep Sheppard here overnight since Colonel Edward Sheppard was arriving on base.

"Uh, about going back. I just heard from the _Odyssey_ that they are having trouble with the transport programs. They are working on it now, but they've asked us to sit tight in the meantime."

Sheppard was obviously agitated. "I need to get back, you know that. Isn't there a plane or something we could grab?"

"Nope, no transport here that we can get to. By the time we got some, the _Odyssey_ should be fixed. So I told them to contact us when they were done."

John flopped down in a chair, definitely pissed. "This really sucks, you know? This will only delay me getting back to Atlantis."

"I'm sorry, John, really. But I think they are working as fast as they can. Did you want to watch anything special?"

John looked around. "No, I think I'll go back to helping the scientists. They seemed to have more questions." He got up to leave.

"OK, I'll let you know when they get in touch."

John nodded and left, leaving Jack still watching soccer. What he didn't know was that Jack had told the _Odyssey_ not to call back until the next morning. He knew John would be upset, but this plan would give Landry an entire day with the other Sheppard.

The next morning, a sullen John Sheppard and a rested Jack O'Neill were transported to the infirmary at Stargate Command. Sheppard gave O'Neill another scowl and headed off with the nurse. O'Neill headed down to Landry's office.

"Well, how'd it go?" Jack entered Landry's office as the general was settling in behind his desk.

"He got clearance, so I've set him up in an office with the mission reports from Atlantis plus a few from SG-1 so he'd understand the program."

"What kind of guy is he?"

Landry leaned back in his chair. "He thought, at first, that John was dead, and was sincerely glad when I said he wasn't. He also seemed disturbed by their estrangement. He jumped at the chance to find out what John is doing. The clearance went through with no problems given his background."

"Good." Jack paused. "I sure hope we're doing the right thing."

"Jack, this man is important to Earth's defense, and his children will be critical to its future. I think getting him in a good frame of mind will help protect a valuable asset for our planet."

"Great justification. We're still meddling."

"Yep, but it's for a good cause."

"Right," said Jack as he left to go back to find Sheppard. He'd become the man's personal cruise director.

Sheppard, meanwhile, had gotten his donation over with and was in his quarters, working on the policy. He was almost done, but needed to set it aside and read it again later. Just as he reached that point, O'Neill came by.

"Uh, can I ask a favor?"

"As long as it doesn't keep me here longer."

O'Neill had the grace to look apologetic. "Yeah sorry about that. It is another outing, but it should be much easier."

"OK, what?" John moved back over to his bed where he could stretch out his leg.

"Well, I've got some friends down at Nellis AFB, and the most recent Red Flag is winding down. They usually ask me and a couple of others to act as bogies late in the game. That way, the new guys aren't flying against the same folks they've been training against for the last several weeks. Cam and I are going, and we wanted to know if you'd like to. That is, if you think you can make it up the ladder of an F-16."

Sheppard appeared frozen in shock, then his face lit up with a grin. "I can pull myself in if necessary. This is great! When are we needed?"

"Well, our sortie is day after tomorrow, in the morning. I'm going down tomorrow afternoon. Cam is already there. So, are you up for it?"

Sheppard grimaced. "I'll miss another donation. I should probably check with the doctor anyway, so I'll ask if I can do one early."

"Already done. You can donate late tomorrow, and you're cleared to fly second seat." At Sheppard's look of disappointment, O'Neill held up his hands. "Hey, I'm just trying to get you into the air."

Sheppard's grin came back, just not as strong. "I understand. I assume we're driving?"

O'Neill looked quite pleased with himself. "Actually, I've got us a Cessna. We take off from Colorado Springs and refuel in Richfield, Utah. Even with the stop, we should get in by dinner time. There's a catch, though. Mitchell wants to fly back, so we get the car, and it's 800 miles."

"Wow! Flying down and a road trip back. Can't wait. Meet in the mess hall at lunch?"

"Sure. See you then."

O'Neill left, a grin on his own face. This trip would get Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard out of the way for another day and a half so that Colonel Edward Sheppard could finish his reviews.

The trip to Nellis was straightforward, and John was ecstatic about finally being in the air again. They managed to arrive in time for the last part of dinner, and afterwards, they found Cam and met the latest group of Red Flag participants. The Red Flag exercises were a chance for trainees to gain experience, and for experienced pilots, acting as the enemy, to maintain their skills. The exercises lasted several weeks, and this year's group included service men from Australia as well as Americans. John enjoyed catching up with the pilots. He was somewhat frustrated in not being able to talk about his current posting, but he followed O'Neill's lead in talking vaguely about testing new equipment, a statement that was technically true.

The next morning found Colonel Sheppard hoisting himself into the back seat of an F-16D behind retired General Jack O'Neill. They took off to get a head start on the "good guys," and John got to enjoy the feeling of real g-forces.

"Sometimes I wish the puddle jumpers didn't have inertial dampeners," he said to O'Neill who had just executed a steep climb to 20,000 feet.

"Yeah," said O'Neill. "I know what you mean. The F-302s have dampening but it's only 90 percent effective, so you still get a kick."

"Well, the Ancients didn't even leave us that much. The nice thing, though, is the jumper reads your mind."

As he spoke, the first of the "good guy" targets came into view, and the next several hours were spent in evasion and attack. Jack was still an excellent pilot, so their ship returned unscathed.

As they turned for the landing strip, O'Neill said, "Want to take the stick for awhile?"

"You bet."

O'Neill had barely relinquished control when the craft went into another steep climb followed by a sharp bank. John didn't get everything out of his system, but when O'Neill finally landed and they climbed out, he was wired on adrenaline, not frustrated tension. After a quick debrief on the morning's exercise, and an even quicker lunch, the two were headed back toward Colorado in Colonel Mitchell's Acura NSX.

The trip back was long, though the countryside had a certain stark beauty. The two men discussed the exercise some more, using hind sight to identify all the moves they should have made. As the conversation waned, John ran the seat all the way back and rested against the window. He hated to admit it, but the flight had taken something out of him, and he was glad to just be a passenger. As they continued to drive, however, he began to reflect on his situation, and the need to get back to Atlantis returned as a constant ache.

Jack noticed John's preoccupation. "What is it?"

John jumped. Nothing had been said for the last half hour, so he wasn't prepared for conversation.

"Just wondering about getting back to Atlantis."

"Well, don't worry about it. Carter said she'd have the ZPM at the SGC either tomorrow or the next day. You're still scheduled for five days from now, right?"

"No, six since I lost a day in Nevada"

They rode in silence a few more miles.

You might want to get some shuteye since you might have to spell me."

John gave a snort and leaned back against the seat of the car, letting the mild road vibration calm him to sleep.

**TBC**

**Please review!**


	11. Yet More Delays

**A/N: This is another in-between chapter. I cut it in half to get something up. At least two more chapters before the Atlantis return. Sorry about that. This story has a life of its own. Thanks for all reviews.**

**Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, their names and locations are the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended to infringe on any of those copyrights.**

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**Yet More Delays**

_Atlantis_

"Are you ready, Teyla?"

Elizabeth Weir looked through the eyepiece on the video recorder and centered the camera on Teyla seated at the briefing table. She had borrowed the camera to prepare their messages to the families of John and Rodney. By unspoken consent, the two women had done the messages to Rodney's sister first. Now Teyla was going to start on her message to John's father.

As Elizabeth looked up for Teyla's signal, she could see the stark sorrow in the Athosian's face. She knew it was mirrored in her own.

Teyla nodded and cleared her throat. When she saw the red light come on and knew that the camera was recording, she began.

"Colonel Sheppard. My name is Teyla Emmagen. For the last two years I have been a member of your son's team at his current posting. I am sorry to report him missing in action at this time. He and the rest of our team were on a dangerous mission in which allies turned against us. We are unsure of what happened to him. I wanted you to know that I have the greatest respect for John Sheppard. He proved himself a leader by inspiring others to do more than they thought they could. He led by example, never hesitating to take the lead in the most dangerous situations. I could always trust him to have my six, as he used to say." By this time, tears were flowing down her cheeks, but she did not hesitate. "John will be missed by all the members of this expedition. His courage and spirit inspired us all, and his loss created a hole that cannot be filled." Her voice caught at this point and she looked down.

Elizabeth cut off the recorder and went to her. Without a word, she put her arms around the other woman and they wept, together, for the three friends and teammates who were missing.

They regained their composure after awhile, and Elizabeth went to wash her face. She knew her eyes would be puffy, but she wanted to look as good as possible on the tape. She returned to the briefing room to find Teyla sitting quietly, head down.

"There is no one to send a tape to for Ronon," she said.

"I know, Teyla. We have to be his family and mourn him." She put her hand on Teyla's shoulder briefly, then went to the camera. Her diplomatic mask had come down across her features, one she hoped to hold for the message she needed to send.

"Teyla, just push this button after you have me centered in the viewfinder. Let me know just before you do it."

Teyla nodded and came over to the camera while Elizabeth took her place at the table. She closed her eyes a moment, reaching once again for the composure that had always been there when she needed it. She looked up at Teyla and nodded. The red light came on.

"Colonel Sheppard, my name is Elizabeth Weir. I am the leader of an expedition that your son has been a part of since near the beginning. I am sorry I cannot tell you more about this project as it is still classified. Your son, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, served as the military commander. In him I found a colleague and, eventually, a friend who supported our efforts and did everything he could to guarantee the success of this mission. Over the past two years, he has given of himself to protect our personnel in every kind of situation. Six weeks ago, he went on a mission with some allies. They turned and attacked us. In the following battle, John was lost. We do not know what happened to him. Please know that he was doing his duty as well as what he enjoyed. He has served this mission and his country well."

She paused, tears threatening, then kept going, looking straight into the camera.

"I meant what I said about him becoming a friend. He has friends throughout this base, and his loss is not easily borne. His optimism, cockiness, dedication, intelligence, and loyalty were all valued and are missed." She gave up fighting the tears, deciding that this father needed to see that he was not alone in his grief. "When the history of this mission is written, the name John Sheppard will figure prominently. Until that time, he will always have a place in our hearts."

Elizabeth managed to nod to Teyla before putting her head down on her arms. Now it was Teyla who came to Elizabeth to hold her while she sobbed for the cocky flyboy who wasn't coming back.

_Somewhere on I-70 in Utah_

John Sheppard was startled awake by a loud bang and a sharp jerk.

"Aw, crap!" said O'Neill, wrestling the car to the side of the road. "I think we have a blowout," he continued, putting the car in park and turning it off. "I'll go check for the spare."

O'Neill got out and went to the trunk while John stayed in the car swearing under his breath. Another delay! He hit the light on his watch and found it was close to midnight. At this rate, unless they were able to change the tire quickly, he would lose most of another day.

"Oh for crying out loud!"

"Now what?" thought John as he opened the door to the cooler desert air. "What is it?" he said to O'Neill.

"This is one of those cars with a donut. It's only good for 50 miles. Where's the nearest town of any size?"

John groaned, again, and reached for the map pocket. Looking at the map, he realized he wasn't sure where they were. "Did you happen to see the last mileage marker?"

"Uh, yeah, it was something like 155."

"Well, Green River is about seven miles east of here. That looks like the biggest town anywhere around."

O'Neill pulled out his cell phone. "Nope, no signal." He put it back. "I thought they were trying to get all the interstates covered."

"Well, seven miles should be ok for the donut, right?"

"Yeah, but what will be open at midnight?"

"Oh, yeah. Still a hotel room is better than the car."

"Ok, ok, I'll change it," said O'Neill, getting out the jack and the spare.

As John watched O'Neill change the tire, he recalculated his departure. He still owed two donations. If they got back tomorrow late, he could donate and be gone in three days. As he got back in the car, he set his mind on doing just that.

Eventually O'Neill returned to the car with greasy hands. As he started the car and moved back onto the highway, he said, "You'd think Mitchell would have a full size spare."

"Yeah, well at least the donut had air."

Quiet settled in the car as they looked for the exit to Green River. As it approached, their worst fears were unfounded. The town was small, but it did have two chain hotels along the interstate.

"Well, we have a room for the night, but the clerk wasn't sure where we could get a tire for this car tomorrow." O'Neill pulled the car around to the door closest to their room. He had managed to get a room on the first floor, fortunately, since John's leg still didn't work very well.

John stared at him, flabbergasted. "Since when is getting a new tire an act of Congress?"

"Well, there aren't many choices in town, and tomorrow is Sunday. Things close around here on Sunday." O'Neill got their kits while John lurched over to the door.

As John collapsed on the less than stellar mattress, he wondered how a day with such a great beginning could go so completely to hell.

_SGC—Cheyenne Mountain_

General Hank Landry looked up at the knock on the door. "Enter."

Colonel Edward Sheppard looked in. "Have you got a few minutes?"

Landry stood up, motioning to a chair. "Sure. What can I do for you?"

The elder Sheppard sat down, looking a little white around the eyes. "I was wondering if John was coming back here."

"Yes, he and General O'Neill were due last night, but they had a flat. I just got a call from Jack, and it looks like they will be delayed until tomorrow. It seems that some towns in Utah close down on Sunday."

Ed Sheppard smiled. "Unlike the Air Force, right General?"

Landry grinned wryly in return. "Right, Colonel."

"Um, will I be able to speak to him privately?" The older man looked uncomfortable.

Landry was somewhat confused. "Of course, if he wants to speak with you. I got you clearance so you two could talk openly, but only if he was comfortable with that. He still has the right of refusal."

"I understand. I was hoping we could speak off base if possible. I think I'd like a little more neutral territory, if you know what I mean."

Landry thought a moment. "I have an idea, but I will have to run it by someone first since it is not an official function. I should know by tomorrow."

"Fair enough," said the retired colonel, standing. Landry stood as well as the older man left.

Edward Sheppard returned to the office he'd been given to use as he reviewed the mission reports of his son, who was not such a screw up after all. He began to wonder if he really knew him after all.

_Utah _

"Finally!" said Jack O'Neill, putting the key in the ignition and revving the engine on the Acura. "I thought we'd never get out of there."

John snorted. "I should have warned you. I can be Murphy's Law in action."

"Well, why don't you concentrate real hard on nothing happening in the next several hours. I'd rather not spend another night on the road. Nothing against you, but Carter doesn't snore." And with that, O'Neill got back on the Interstate, hoping that they'd given Landry enough time to fully brief Colonel Edward Sheppard.

_SGC – Cheyenne Mountain_

Colonel Samantha Carter materialized in the gate room along with a large carefully rapped package. After contacting her science team and supervising the moving of the ZPM to the main power feed, she left the team in the process of making the connections while she checked in with Landry.

Landry was hanging up the phone as he heard the knock at the door. Looking up, he motioned Carter in while leaning back and rocking in his chair.

"Sir, the ZPM is here and we are in the process of installing it."

"Thank you, Colonel. By the way, there won't be any more need to manufacture delays."

Sam had been in on the plan to contact John Sheppard's father, so she raised her eyebrows at Landry's announcement. "Is everything ok, sir?"

"Yes, I've just heard from the President. It seems he read our report more quickly than we had anticipated, and he wants to give Colonel Sheppard a medal." Landry leaned forward. "And he wants to do it here."

"That's good news, right sir?"

"Yes, yes. It's just that he will stop here on his way to California for an election trip, and he won't make it until Friday, five days from now. Sheppard isn't going to like that."

"Oh. Well, the ZPM will be ready whenever we're ready to use it."

"Thank you, Colonel. Dismissed."

Sam Carter headed off to her lab while Landry pondered how to tell the younger Sheppard that he couldn't go home yet. He finally decided to let Jack do it.

Later that afternoon, John and Jack finally pulled into the SGC. Without a word, John took off for the infirmary to provide a donation. O'Neill was aware that John was ticked and hoped he could mend some fences later. He stopped by Landry's office to give him a heads up.

"I don't think he's going to agree to go with me again," said Jack, leaning against Landry's door. It was, after all, Sunday, and Landry was finally getting ready to leave for the day.

"That shouldn't be a problem now. I've heard from the President, and he wants to meet Sheppard and give him a medal. This is still hush-hush, by the way, though I told Carter. Anyway, the President will be going to the west coast at the end of the week and he will stop off here on the way. We can't let him leave until afterwards."

O'Neill heaved a sigh of relief. "Great. I was getting tired of being a cruise director. By the way, did you put the colonel in crew quarters?"

Landry looked up again. "Yes. I wasn't sure what else to do, and he didn't seem to mind."

O'Neill nodded. "Why don't you set him up at my place? He'd be more comfortable, he'd still be within reach, and there would be less chance of John running into him before he's ready."

Landry thought a minute and nodded. "That's a good idea, and thanks for suggesting it. Another thing, he suggested that it would probably be better if they first met off base, then in case things get dicey, they don't have to see each other."

"Good point. I was thinking we could get them together before the barbeque and before the President gets here."

"OK, so barbeque day after tomorrow?"

"Nope, three days from now. Carter just got back, and we need a little time to reach everyone."

"That should work. The President is due Friday. That should give Sheppard time to wrap things up. He will probably want to leave right after the ceremony."

"OK, I'll get the barbeque started. You do the invites?"

"Sure. Later, Jack."

Jack nodded. "That's if John doesn't kill me first," he said as he went to find his charge.

After checking the mess, and picking up some coffee, he found Sheppard in the gym, again, working hard at curls.

"More frustrations?" he said, leaning on the door and letting the coffee cool.

Sheppard jumped a bit, but continued his set. "You could say that. I mean, I like you, Jack, but three day road trips can get old. Besides, the nurse decided to be truly creative."

"What, more smirks?" O'Neill took a sip as John finished and sat up.

"No, this time she gave me the jar and told me to call her if I needed a hand."

O'Neill spewed coffee all over the door as he fought laughter. "Jeesh, Sheppard, let me know when you're going to lay one out like that."

John gave a lopsided grin. "At least this time I think her comment was unintentional. She had the grace to blush when I just stared at her."

The next few days passed slowly for Sheppard. He finished and submitted his recommendations for the policy changes. He spent another entire day in interviews with more Atlantis wannabes. Carter crew spent a day and a half installing and testing it the ZPM.

On Tuesday evening, Jack sought out John, again in the gym. "You about done, right?"

"Yep," said John, walking very slowly on the treadmill. "The doc has me on a cane, and the physical therapist said to start working the leg lightly. The last donation is in, I have another 15 people for Atlantis, and the ZPM is installed."

John looked down at his feet. Landry had decided Jack would be the one to tell Sheppard he couldn't leave, yet, and he wasn't sure how to do it. "Well, I have good news and bad news."

John stopped, leaning on his hands and looking down. "Don't tell me I can't go."

"No, you can go, just not until Friday."

John looked up. "Why Friday?"

"I can't tell you, but it involves dress blues."

"Shit," said John, grabbing his towel. He got off the treadmill and, picking up his cane, moved toward the door.

"On a more positive note, …."

John stopped and looked at O'Neill. "Yes?"

"Remember that request you had to maybe meet some, uh, families?"

That got John's attention. "Yes, and?"

"So, you up for an outing?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, Carter and I are having a barbeque at our house tomorrow. Landry and SG-1 will be there, including Valla. You haven't met her yet…"

"The bracelet thing with Daniel?"

"Yeah, that's her. I even got George Hammond to come. Anyway, we've also invited another four or five families associated with the base."

John realized what Jack was offering: a casual way to meet the other families. Still, he thought he'd make sure he wasn't jumping to conclusions. "Do these families hope to have an addition soon?" 

O'Neill looked at him and grinned a little. "You might say that. However, they don't know that's why they are invited, and you aren't to tell them."

John looked carefully at Jack, reading between the lines. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"Good. We'd like you to come out early, if that's ok, so I'll come get you right after lunch. That way you can relax some before everyone else shows up at 7."

"Getting out of here sounds great," said John, moving finally to the hall. "I'll be ready."

**TBC**

**Please review !**


	12. Events and Celebrations

**A/N: Ok, they go back to Atlantis. Thanks for the reviews and suggestions. My apologies to anyone who actually knows how the military awards medals. I haven't viewed a ceremony.**

** A/N2: This will be my last update for several days as I get caught up with other things.**

**  
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate:SG1, their characters and locations are the intellectual property of others. This amateur effort is not meant as an infringement of those rights.  
**

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**Events and Celebrations**

The next day was beautiful, fortunately, since General Landry had invited more people than would fit in Jack and Sam's house. John had a quick lunch in the mess and waited impatiently for Jack to come get him. He was nervous, not knowing exactly what to expect. After all, most sperm donors don't meet the donees.

Jack pulled up in an SUV and came around to be sure John could get in. The gym had paid off, however, and John had pulled himself in quickly, tucking the cane in the back.

"I hope the shorts are ok. Pants still put too much pressure on the leg."

"You're fine," said Jack, getting in the car and starting the engine. He pulled out of the Cheyenne complex and headed back toward town. "I also wanted to tell you that we're going to do name tags, telling everyone it's so you will know who folks are. Anyone with a red name tag is on the list of families."

John pondered this then looked over at O'Neill. Quietly, he said, "Thanks, Jack. I really appreciate it." He looked out the window, a little embarrassed.

When they got to the house, John was impressed. As much as he loved Atlantis, the idea of his own place, with a little privacy, was something of a dream for him. They got to the front door and Carter opened it up to let them in.

"Hey, Colonel, looks like you're getting around ok."

"Yep, doing good. And remember, it's John," he said, entering the house.

"Right, John. Want a beer?"

"You bet!"

"Here you go," handing him a Samuel Smith's. "Hope that's ok."

"Like water for a guy in a desert," said John, taking a long pull.

O'Neill glanced at Carter who nodded.

"John, why don't you settle down out on the deck while Carter and I keep cooking. There's a lot of chopping to do."

"Sure, but let me know if I can do anything" said John, moving slowly to the back of the house, beer in one hand and cane in the other.

As he stepped out the door, someone stood up from a lawn chair and turned to face him. John froze at the sight of his father and straightened to attention. "Sir," he said.

Colonel Edward Sheppard looked at his son, seeing the man his son had become, the man of the Atlantis mission reports. He hadn't known how to start this conversation, but John's response to seeing him brought back painful memories.

_Flashback_

"_Dad, I'm home." John dumped his duffle by the front door and made his way to the den where his father usually hung out. He found him facing the fireplace, bouncing on his toes. "Dad?"_

_His father swung around, his face stark with disapproval. "How could you? After all I taught you, you had to break the one rule that's a career killer."_

"_Dad, I. . ."_

"_Stand up straight, Major, when I'm talking to you! I won't accept a lack of respect from you." _

_John had snapped to attention, his focus on the wall above his father's left shoulder. The older Sheppard had proceeded to rip him a new one, but for John, it was just the latest in a series of reprimands. He had his response practiced._

"_And of course, the worst part was I had to hear it from an old rival who was delighted to tell me my son had really fucked up. I am very disappointed in you."_

_There was a pause as the older Sheppard stared hard at the younger man who was still focused on the wall._

"_Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_That's right, because there is no excuse for your actions."_

_Another pause. "May I go now, sir?"_

_The older man nodded. "Go get settled in and we'll talk more later." He then turned his back on his son and headed to the kitchen to find something for them to eat. He was so deep in his own chagrin that he didn't hear the front door open and close._

_Later, when he called his son to dinner, he found him gone._

As Edward Sheppard looked at his son, standing at attention and staring off at the woods, the memories of that last conversation poured through him. He hadn't heard from John since that day. Suddenly, the words he needed were there.

Approaching his son, he stopped two feet in front of him, extended his hand, and said, "John, I'm sorry."

John Sheppard's eyes jerked back to those of his father. He read in them the regret he also felt. Setting down the beer, he put his hand in his father's. He felt himself being pulled into his father's arms, and his father's voice adding, "Please forgive me. I love you, and I should never have said those things after what you had been through."

John had to shut his eyes tightly against the sudden rush of moisture. Putting his own arms around his father, and taking a shuddering breath, he whispered, "Thanks, Dad." He paused a moment to regain control, then he said, even more softly, "I love you, too."

His father had felt the shudder and heard the words. Knowing how John felt about emotion, he knew he had made the right choice. Pulling back to look his son in the eye, he added, "I'm proud of you, John, and your mother would be, too. Never doubt it for a moment. After I finally got a copy of the entire incident report, I understood why you went back for those men. I taught you that."

"Yes sir, you did," said John, looking away and trying to sniff quietly. He looked back at his father, and suddenly realized his father was here in Colorado Springs. A look of confusion on his face, John asked, "Dad, what are you doing here?"

The older Sheppard smiled, giving John's arms one last squeeze, and led the way over to a table in the corner of the deck. There were some chips and salsa along with a small ice chest with two more beers. "General Landry came to see me." Edward Sheppard looked down. "God help me, I thought he was going to say you were dead." The fear he had felt upon seeing the Air Force uniform still caused a chill up his spine. Looking up, he continued, "He said he thought I should know what my son had been doing for the last two years, and he got me clearance to read your mission reports. I'm amazed, John!" He leaned forward, an eager look on his face. "Tell me about Atlantis."

John hadn't missed the residual fear in his father's bearing. When he was asked about Atlantis, however, his face broke into a huge grin. "I've been wanting to, Dad. Where should I start?"

"How about when you got to the city? It sounds fantastic. Things were turning on as you arrived?"

"It is fantastic, and that's not the half of it," said John, and he proceeded to catch his father up with his life and friends of the last two years.

In the kitchen, Jack and Sam watched the two men talking and heaved two sighs of relief.

"I guess our meddling was ok," said Jack.

"This time," said Sam, going back to making a salad. "Now get those patties ready for the guests. You still have to cut up the ribs, and we've got only four hours."

"Yes ma'am," said Jack, with a mock salute, and he turned back to the large pile of hamburger on the counter.

By the time the other guests arrived around 7, John and his father were more comfortable with each other. After all the funny stories and amazing stories, John had shared some of the not-so-great stories. His father listened and understood about Sumner. He also understood John's continuing concern about Ford. John finally had a sounding board for some of the stresses of command that he had been holding inside all this time. While Elizabeth, Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon were there for him, none had known his past and the difficulties of an American military command. His father, with his thirty years in the military, knew the territory.

The arriving guests all got nametags, as Jack had said. John introduced those he knew to his father, and they both mingled, meeting the others. John kept an eye out for the red name tags. He was relieved to meet a scientist with a wife and two sons who were among the red tagged. He also met a major's family, including two girls and a boy, and one of the doctors with two girls. The girls seemed shy around John, but he teased them into smiles.

Volleyball was set up on the lawn as Jack got the grill going for hamburgers and ribs. Sam set out hamburger fixings along with potato salad, pickles, fruit, and plenty of napkins. As he expected, John noticed that Jack and Sam were wearing red nametags. He walked over to Jack at the grill and offered to take over.

"No, this event is in your honor. I don't want you to miss anything."

"Uh, whose idea was it to contact my father?"

"Well, the General and I had the same idea at the same time. So you can blame both of us."

John looked over at his dad, deep in conversation with Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, and shook his head. "Not blame, Jack. Thanks." He caught his eye with a lopsided grin, and wandered back to his father.

General Landry was late, but John saw him come in with his wife. He set out to thank him as well when he was stunned to see him put on a red nametag. He was finding his wife's nametag when John walked up.

"Uh, you, sir?"

Landry grinned ruefully and glanced at his wife before pulling John away. "Yeah, they needed volunteers, and we're suffering empty nest syndrome." He stopped and looked John straight in the eye. "Don't worry about any child of yours. We're honored to be considered as parents."

John gulped and nodded, turning to be introduced to Mrs. Landry.

Dr. Carolyn Lam slipped in as everyone was helping the kids build their first burgers. She stepped over to her father, General Landry, and pulled him aside.

"I got back those results you requested."

Landry looked interested and led her farther away from the crowd. "And?"

She shook her head.

Landry was shocked. He had taken a coffee cup the older Colonel Sheppard had used and had his DNA tested for the gene. "I thought Beckett determined the gene was on the male chromosome?"

"So did I. So either he's wrong, or…"

"Edward Sheppard is not John's biological father." He looked over to where the two men were talking to Cameron Mitchell. John was obviously describing the Red Flag event at Nellis, and Mitchell was adding in his two cents. The two Sheppards did not strictly favor each other, but they were not so different.

"We'd better get back before we're missed. I'll have to think about this," he said, leading the way back to the tables. His hope of finding some of John's relatives had just taken an unexpected turn.

As everyone was packing up and leaving, John found his father again on the deck. "Are you going back to base quarters?"

"No, the O'Neills are letting me stay here." He smiled, ruefully. "I think they were thinking ahead in case you didn't want to see me."

John stood next to his father, looking at the stars that were just coming out. "No, I already told them they were right to tell you." He looked at his father again in the fading light. "I need you in my life, even if it's a galaxy away."

Edward Sheppard smiled and slapped his son on the back. And they stood there, companionably, in the fading light.

_Atlantis_

"Carson, we've got to do something." Kate Heightmeyer was in Carson Beckett's office. She had just come from visiting Elizabeth. "She's not eating and not sleeping, and I'm worried about her slipping into a deep depression. She took my advice on preparing the memorial service, and the _Daedalus_ is due back tomorrow, so we should have one scheduled in a few days. But I'm not sure she'll make it that long. I'm thinking of prescribing an antidepressant, but that won't help with her appetite or sleep for some time."

Beckett sighed. "I know, love. I was going to go fetch her for dinner tonight and give her one last chance. I'm sorry I got distracted with my research and lost track of her condition. It is so easy to think she's invincible."

"Yeah, I fell for the same image. She's not, though, and this is tearing her up." She paused, thinking of possible interventions. "Let me know how this evening goes. If it doesn't go well, we need to do something tomorrow."

"Good. I'll be in touch."

In the control room, Chuck was trying to raise the _Daedalus_. It had appeared on their long range sensors two days ago, but there had been no radio contact. Elizabeth was hovering, trying not to let her anxiety get in the way of her people doing their job.

"_Daedalus_, this is Atlantis. Do you read?"

The response was just static, then a broken message was heard. "…_lus_, . . .radio . . . oken . . . arr. . . tomo. . ."

"Say again, _Daedalus,_ you arrive tomorrow?"

"Af . . .mative. . ._da_ out."

Chuck looked over at Dr. Weir and shrugged. "They appear to have a radio problem, but it does sound like they will be in tomorrow."

Elizabeth tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes. "Good, we'll get ready for them." She turned and went to her office. She swayed a moment, feeling dizzy, and she quickly sat down at her desk. She opened her laptop, but again she could do no work. There was nothing in the message mentioning John, Rodney, or Ronon. She closed her eyes, shook herself, and called up the memorial service. It looked like they needed to have it ready.

General Landry was in his office the next day when Daniel Jackson dropped by.

"Come in, Dr. Jackson, what can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, you see, uh, . . ."

"Spit it out, Daniel."

Daniel jumped then pushed his glasses up his nose. "Well, SG-1 has no missions in the next week, and I thought I'd ask if I could go back to Atlantis with the Colonel. You see, we'll get there immediately, and they will be sending a message from Atlantis next week, so I'll only lose a week of time. It's a great opportunity, and I have some material I've been wanting to share with Dr. Weir, and. . ."

"Dr. Jackson."

"Sir?"

"Go. It's ok. We'll see you a week from tomorrow."

Daniel smiled. "Thank you, sir. I think I'll go pack, now."

On this, the last day before he could go home, John was lying on the bed in his base quarters. He had spent the day making sure all the new personnel were ready to go and packing up the special stuff he had requisitioned for Atlantis. Fortunately, he had ordered all the goodies the day Landry said they could use the gate, so everything arrived in time. The pool table was going to be heavy, but a dolly and a couple of the new marines solved that problem. Fortunately, the ping pong table was lighter. The rest of the booty included more popcorn and movies and several crates of different types of chocolate and coffee. He'd also had time to find some special things for his friends: single malt scotch for Beckett, a special knife for Ronon, some typical American clothes for Teyla, a private stash of chocolate and power bars for Rodney along with the latest laptop, and a whole collection of strange t-shirts for most of the expedition members.

He was currently looking at a silver pendant created with the symbol for Atlantis. He had ordered it made for Elizabeth. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he felt if they were to have a chance, he had to start somewhere. He also had another jewelry box buried in his luggage, but he didn't want to hope, yet.

John looked up at a knock at the door. "It's open."

Edward Sheppard stepped in and looked around. Some of John's stash was still in his room though the larger stuff was in the gateroom already.

"Nacho cheese?" said Edward, noticing a crate in the corner.

"Yeah, nacho cheese. Goes good with football. You got a problem with that?"

"No, no, just wondering."

John noticed his father looked uncomfortable. "What is it, Dad?"

"Well, I understand you will be leaving tomorrow through the stargate, and I also understand that Atlantis sends weekly reports."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd let me come with you for a week. I would come back through the gate when you dial up for the weekly message."

John jumped up. "Have you asked General Landry yet?"

"No, I thought I'd be sure it was ok with you, first."

"Hell, yeah. Let's go see."

Landry agreed, of course, and the two Sheppards left to finish packing. When Jack O'Neill stuck his head in a few minutes later to ask about the ceremony the next day, Landry stood up and stretched. "Jack, did you get any work done when you had this office?"

"Not much. It seems to become grand central station after awhile."

"Yeah, I noticed."

Friday morning dawned on another clear day. John was tying his tie when his father knocked on the door, already in his dress uniform.

"You brought your uniform?" John said, somewhat amazed.

The older man shrugged. "I was going to a military installation. It's wise to be prepared."

John turned back to the mirror. "Do you know what this is about?"

Edward Sheppard grinned. Landry had let him in on the secret yesterday, and he couldn't wait to see John's face. "Yep, and I can't tell you."

"Gee, thanks," John said with a grimace. "There, how does that look?"

Edward Sheppard critically reviewed his son's uniform. The silver oak leaves of his rank as Lieutenant Colonel were polished as were his shoes. His ribbons reflecting his campaigns were in the proper order and alignment. Everything looked fine.

"You look great, son. Let's go."

The two men walked to the elevator. "Uh, where are we going?"

"To the gate room. It's the only place big enough."

"Big enough for what?" said John, but Edward just smiled.

As the two men entered the gateroom, they moved to stand with General Landry, General O'Neill, SG-1, and the rest of the SGC military contingent. The civilians were there as well, lined up on the other side. John noticed a podium had been set up on the ramp with the Stargate behind it. The United States Flag and the Air Force flag were on each side of the gate.

Just then a disturbance in the hall announced another arrival.

General Landry called out, "Atten-hut," and all military personnel came to attention as the President of the United States entered the room and approached the podium. John gulped.

"At ease, and please be seated." Those in the military shifted to the at-ease stance, while the civilians sat in the chairs provided.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am here today for one of my most pleasant duties: to recognize the heroism and dedication of one of our Air Force pilots. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, would you please step forward."

John gulped again, returned to attention, and walked slowly up the ramp to stand next to the president.

"If there are any members of Colonel Sheppard's family present, you may join him if you wish."

Colonel Edward Sheppard made the same journey and came to a stop behind John.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, as a result of your actions during the recent battle with the Wraith, actions which contributed greatly to our final victory, the Air Force has chosen to award you the Air Force Cross. General Landry, would you please read the citation."

General Landry stepped up the ramp to the podium and read the citation, describing John's actions in saving his team members, destroying one hive ship with his F-302, and operating the chair to destroy the other ship and the remaining darts. John barely heard what he said. He was standing next to the President of the United States, with his father behind him. Never had he expected those two things to happen to him.

General Landry finished and stepped back from the podium, and the President stepped forward.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, in recognition of your extraordinary heroism in defending this planet, I hereby award you the Air Force Cross. Thank you for your service."

The President removed the medal from its box, and John leaned over slightly to let him put it around his neck. Then he shook John's hand. The room erupted in applause, joined by the president himself.

John turned to look at his father and was surprised by the tears in his eyes accompanying his huge smile.

The president waved to everyone and the room quieted. "I'm sorry I can't spend more time with you and hear first hand about your adventures. Know that you are living our hopes and dreams, and we look forward to more of your contributions."

With that, the president shook hands again with John, then with Edward Sheppard and General Landry. He made his way down the ramp shaking hands and patting shoulders as he went, to the continuing applause of the crowd. Then he and his entourage left as quickly as they came.

Landry heaved out a breath he didn't know he was holding and looked over at John and his father. Stepping up to the podium, he told the crowd, "A reception is being held in the mess hall. Please join us to congratulate Colonel Sheppard." With that, he turned to the Sheppards and said, quietly, "I don't know about you, but I need a drink!"

"I'll agree to that," said the older Colonel, and the two escorted John to the party in his honor.

Three hours later, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard finally stood in his new Atlantis uniform in the gateroom. He had been afraid the party would never end, and he really, really wanted to get home. His father stood in the gate room, talking with Dr. Jackson about gate travel and what to expect. Several of the new marines were trying to listen in so they wouldn't make fools of themselves. Other personnel were pulling the dollies carrying the new equipment and supplies in place so they would move rapidly through the gate. He made his way through the crowd and up to the control room.

"So, is everything ready to go, Colonel?" General Landry was in the control room along with General O'Neill, both watching the preparations below.

"Yes, sir. Just awaiting your word."

Landry nodded. "You have a go, Colonel Sheppard. Colonel Carter, connect the ZPM and dial the gate."

The dialing sequence started and John glanced at his father. The older man appeared to be holding his breath as he watched the large circle spin through its combination. The whoosh of the wormhole establishing itself made him jump, and John smiled, remembering his first experience. The smile faded as he remembered a young lieutenant who teased him about his first time through the gate.

"Send the IDC for Earth, Sergeant."

The sergeant manning the computer sent the sequence and received an acknowledgment. John backed out of range of the camera so that he could see but not be seen. He wasn't sure what to expect when he returned.

General Landry was establishing their communication with Atlantis. "Atlantis, this is General Landry. Dr. Weir, do you read?"

In a few seconds, Elizabeth's face filled the screen, smiling as she faced Landry. "General, it is very good to hear from you. I trust things worked out well?"

"Yes, Dr. Weir. The wraith have been destroyed. I am using this opportunity to send through some supplies and reinforcements, so please lower the shield."

"The shield is lowered, General, you are free to come through."

John keyed his mike and told the marines to move out. He stayed, though, to watch the transmission. Something was wrong.

"Thank you for the supplies, General. We are also expecting the _Daedalus_ sometime today."

"Good. We sent them back as soon as we could, but it still takes 18 days."

John finally figured it out. Her face was haggard. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her bone structure was clearly visible. Her smile did not reach her eyes, and her hair was flat and dull. She was clearly not well.

Nodding to Landry, and giving him a salute, Sheppard headed down to the gate where the last of the marines and supplies were going through. He grabbed a bunch of roses that he had talked Sam Carter into picking up for him this morning, and walked over to his father.

"Roses?" The older man's eyebrows went up almost an inch.

"Yeah, well, I think I'm going to have to repair some fences when I get back. You ready?"

Edward Sheppard grinned. "Who would have thought this old dog would get another adventure. Let's go."

With one last nod at the control room, where O'Neill, Landry, and now Carter were smiling, John stepped through the gate to return to the city that had become home.

"Dr. Weir, the last of the men are now leaving, so I'll sign off. We've sent you some information on the wraith attack as well as some new policy changes. We'll look forward to your message next week."

As Landry watched, Dr. Weir's focus suddenly shifted up toward the gate in Atlantis. In the next instant she was gone, leaving a confused Dr. Zelenka to close out the message with a smiling General Landry.

John stepped through the gate to see Elizabeth in the control room. Upon seeing him, she jumped up and moved down the stairs, but much too fast. John saw her stumble and moved to catch her.

"John, you're. . ." But that was all she got out before she fainted in his arms.

"We need a medical team to the gate room," yelled John, looking up at the control room to see the men nodding that they had put in the call. John laid Elizabeth on the floor and checked for breathing and a pulse. Edward Sheppard came over to take the flowers out of his hands as he checked Elizabeth.

"Is she all right?"

"I don't know. I was worried when I saw her on the screen. She's obviously lost weight. Where's Beckett!"

"Here, Colonel, right behind you." The Scotsman was leading a group with a gurney, and he crouched down to check Elizabeth's vitals. "It's good to see you back, Colonel. Your memorial service was scheduled for tomorrow."

"Yeah, right, what's wrong with her?"

"I think it's a combination of stress, malnutrition and lack of sleep. I'll take her to the infirmary for a more thorough check up. Which, I might add, I will need to do for you and all these folks you've brought with you."

"Fine, fine," said John, as he moved to accompany the gurney. Catching sight of Major Lorne, who was trying to decide between a grin and a frown, he motioned for the Major to walk with him. "I brought back 15 more marines plus two civilian guests. Get them to the infirmary then start scouting out accommodations."

Lorne nodded and moved back to collect the marines. Daniel Jackson and Edward Sheppard stepped up to Lorne as he approached.

"Major, can we be of any help?"

"Thank you, sir, but for now, I think the doctor has things under control." He then turned to the marines. "Listen up. You need to get your gear together and follow me to the infirmary. After a quick check, we'll get you quarters and a briefing. Fall in."

The marines were glad to have someone tell them what to do, so they willingly complied.

Just as the whole group was leaving the gate room, there was a bright flash, and Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex appeared, courtesy of the _Daedalus'_ beaming technology.

"Hello, we're home." Rodney looked around, but aside from a small group in the control room, no one was around. "Where is everyone?"

Dr. Jackson, at the end of the Earth group, heard him and came back. "Hi, Dr. McKay, everyone's on the way to the infirmary."

"What? What do you mean everyone?"

"Well, we just came through from Earth with Colonel Sheppard and 15 new personnel, Dr. Weir collapsed, and everyone is going to the infirmary to be checked out. You may as well come, too." With that, he headed back to join the group.

Rodney looked at Ronon, but found the Satedan wrapped around Teyla. Or was that the other way around?

"Great. Once again Sheppard steals my show." And with that, he headed off to see Beckett, not waiting on Ronon or Teyla. 

**TBC **

**Please Review!**


	13. Recovery

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. The in between chapters seem to be hardest to write.**

**Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, all their locations and characters are the intellectual property of others. This amateur effort is not intended as infringement. **

** --------------------------------------------------------------**

**Recovery**

The Atlantis infirmary was a mad house. Fifteen marines, two civilians, and three people seemingly returned from the dead were milling around, the last three focused on the farthest bed where Dr. Carson Beckett was working over Elizabeth Weir.

Beckett called for an IV and turned to Sheppard. "Colonel, would you ask Major Lorne to bring the marines back in a few hours? I think they can get new quarters while we are making Dr. Weir comfortable."

John nodded, but everyone could see he was reluctant to leave. He spoke with Lorne who led the marines off to the residential section to stow their gear and get situated.

As John came back into the infirmary, his father came over. "Do you want us to come back later? I'm sure Dr. Jackson and I could find someplace less in the way."

John was only half listening, still focused on the farthest bed. "Uh, no, Dad, that's OK. Without the marines things aren't so bad."

McKay suddenly turned from his focus on Dr. Weir. "Dad?"

"Yes, McKay, contrary to popular opinion, I was raised by regular parents." John turned again to his father. "We might as well get to know each other. Colonel Edward Sheppard and Dr. Daniel Jackson, I'd like you to meet the members of my team: Dr. Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagen, and Ronen Dex. I think some of you know each other already."

A general round of nods and handshakes took place. John's team all approached the older colonel to shake his hand, curious since John had spoken so little if at all about his family.

"We are pleased to meet you, Colonel Sheppard. Your son has been a friend to my people, and I am pleased to be a member of his team," said Teyla.

Ronon just nodded, while Rodney started running at the mouth.

"This is truly amazing. To think that Colonel Sheppard has a father who's a Colonel Sheppard."

John was behind his father's back wildly waving his arms and mouthing "No, full bird," but McKay was oblivious.

"Since you're still alive, I can only assume that your son's death wish is unique to him." John grimaced. "Not to mention …"

John was saved further embarrassment with Dr. Becket's appearance in the waiting area. "Well, it is as I suspected. She has not been eating or sleeping regularly for six weeks, and she has worn herself down. I have her on an IV to rehydrate her and balance her electrolytes, and I've added a slight sedative to keep her asleep for awhile." He stopped and looked pointedly at John. "She is going to need some support to get back her strength, and that includes her friends reinforcing good habits." Carson shook his head. "I blame myself for this. I saw it happening but didn't stop it in time."

"Six weeks!" sputtered John, looking from Beckett to Teyla. "What's been going on?"

"I will explain things later, Colonel Sheppard. Put simply, you were gone." Teyla looked at John pointedly, and John backed off, glancing again at the far bed.

"When can we see her?"

Carson looked at the Colonel. "I realize that seeing you three is probably the medicine she most needs. However, at this point, she needs sleep more. In the meantime, we can get your medical checks done, then you can get settled and have something to eat. In four hours or so she might be waking up." He motioned over some additional personnel who led away Rodney, Ronon, and Daniel.

"Colonel Sheppard, I'll start with you. I noticed you were limping, and I need to check on that."

John grimaced again. "Yeah, the doctor on Earth told me you'd want to see my leg."

"Come on over, lad," said Beckett motioning toward a bed.

"Carson, can you do my dad, too?"

Carson Beckett swung around, staring at the quiet, dignified man with a military bearing. "Your father? Of course I can see him." Carson reached out to shake the elder Sheppard's hand. "Sir, I'm Dr. Carson Beckett, chief medical officer of this facility. I hope you know you have a fine son but he's kept me busy for the last two years."

"Colonel Edward Sheppard," he said, returning the handshake. "You should have seen our medical bills when he was a teenager."

"Now, now, let's not compare notes here," said John, who was beginning to wonder at the wisdom of having his father in Atlantis. "Let's just get checked out. I want to find some good quarters for my dad and get back to Elizabeth."

Carson turned again and motioned for the older Sheppard to get up on a bed, pulling around a privacy curtain. Looking at John, Beckett said "You might as well drop your trousers now and tell me about this leg of yours."

John, thankful for new underwear, endured the questions and examination since he wanted to be cleared for duty as quickly as possible. He needed to get his team back out there soon, and he had thought of taking his father on at least one off-world trip.

Finally Beckett was done. To the older Sheppard he said, "You appear quite fit, sir. I hope you enjoy your visit with us. And I would appreciate it if you did not need our services here. That bed in the back is about to be engraved with John's name since he spends almost as much time there as in his quarters."

Turning to the younger colonel, he continued. "Your leg is healing well, but it is still not as strong as I would like. You need to hook up with the physical therapist. I also think you should continue using a cane for another week and limit yourself to light duty."

John grimaced at that. He had been happy to leave the cane on Earth. With the doctor's admonitions still ringing in his ears, and a new cane in hand, John motioned to his father and they made their escape.

Heading to his quarters first for his communicator, John "thought" the doors open and the lights on and turned to his father. "Just dump your stuff here while I check on things and then we can find you some quarters. As he was talking, he was putting on his ear piece. He was interrupted almost immediately by a call.

"Control to Colonel Sheppard, come in."

"This is Sheppard. What do you need, control?"

"Sir, we were wondering if anyone was coming after the gear left in the gate room. Also, the _Daedalus_ is waiting for unloading."

Shit, he'd forgotten all about the regular humdrum of life in Atlantis. "Acknowledged. I'll be there shortly and we'll sort it out. Sheppard out."

Turning to his father, he smiled apologetically. "Uh, Dad, I have to get some stuff organized. The _Daedalus_ is here and has to be unloaded, and we kind of left things every which way in the gate room. You can stay here and kick back if you'd like."

"I'd rather tag along, if you don't mind. Kind of find out what things are like around here." The older man tried to look nonchalant, but John could see the underlying interest in his father's face.

"So, you wouldn't mind shadowing me for awhile?"

Edward Sheppard smiled. "That would be great, if it's ok with you."

Now John smiled. "Great!" They exited his quarters, having dropped off their luggage, and headed for the control area, Edward easily keeping up with his son. "We'll stop by stores to pick up a communicator for you. That's pretty much how we stay in contact. Atlantis is big, and there are no other means of communication that we've found."

For the next four hours, Edward saw his son in his role as military commander and second in command of the expedition. John got marines to stow the new gear ("don't open those crates unless you want to be assigned to the sanitation detail for three months") and worked with the _Daedalus _crew to begin the unloading. He had a brief meeting with Caldwell, introducing him to his father, and checked with Lorne to be sure the new marines had quarters. He was able to find his father quarters near his own, then spent some time giving him a tour of Atlantis, beginning with Rodney's lab ("Get out of here before you touch something"), continuing to the mess hall ("avoid the goulash") and winding up on the balcony in the control room ("And this is where I threw Rodney off the balcony and he bounced.")

John had finished explaining the dialing device and the two men were just staring at the stargate, the older one in wonder, when John became aware of the time. "Uh, Dad," he began, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, "I need to get back to the infirmary to. . ."

"I understand, son. I'll just go back to my quarters." Edward Sheppard turned from staring at the 'gate to look at his son, seeing the concern in the younger man's eyes. "Is there coffee in the mess?"

John smiled. "Yeah, we don't operate well without it. Things around here get pretty grim the last few days before the _Daedalus_ gets back. Call me if you need anything or have any questions."

Nodding, Edward Sheppard headed off for some coffee and some time to fully appreciate exactly where he was.

John almost ran to the infirmary. He had been gone for just over four hours, and Beckett had suggested that Elizabeth might be waking up around that time. As he turned the last corner, he was in time to see Ronon enter the corridor. The Satedan waited for Sheppard.

"Your dad, huh?"

"Yeah. Surprised me, too," said John, as they entered the infirmary. Rodney was already talking to Beckett who was looking ready to strangle the scientist.

"She's not awake, yet, Rodney, and I don't want ye disturbing her before she's ready."

"But you yourself said we are the best medicine. So, we'll just stay here until she wakes up."

Beckett threw up his hands. "Suit yerself, but I better not hear any of yer squabbling. She doesn't need it. Let her come out of things on her own."

"Fine, fine, fine," said the scientist, already grabbing a chair and opening his laptop.

John approached the bed and looked, really looked, at Elizabeth. The weight loss he had noticed in the video feed was even more apparent with her dressed in scrubs. Her arms were thin, and her collar bones were protruding. The dark circles under her eyes testified to Beckett's wisdom in letting her sleep. Finding another chair, he eased it close to the bed and gently took her hand. He wanted to be sure she saw him when she awoke.

From his office, Carson Beckett looked at the three long lost men, Ronon leaning against the wall looking calm but alert, McKay absorbed in his laptop, and Sheppard absorbed in studying Elizabeth Weir's face. These were his friends, and he said a personal prayer of gratitude for their safe return. He then picked up his radio and notified Major Lorne that he could bring the marines back for their checkups.

John looked up at Ronon out of the corner of his eye, motioning toward Rodney. "So, what was it like on the _Daedalus_ for three weeks with Rodney?"

The Satedan snorted. "At least we got showers and didn't have to forage for food. He's not the easiest of traveling companions."

"Congratulations on being the king of understatement," said John, with a smirk.

"What was that?" said Rodney, looking up. Noticing John for the first time since talking to Beckett, he said "Carson says to let her wake up on her own."

"I know that, Rodney, I'm not going to wake her up."

"So what's this with your dad? What is he doing here? He's really a colonel?"

"Yeah, McKay, but he's a full colonel, like Caldwell. Don't get that mixed up," added John, looking pointedly at the scientist.

"The military and its ranks. What a pain," said the scientist who could tell you everyone's academic degrees and the status of the granting institutions. "Did you call him after we left?"

"No, General O'Neill and General Landry got together and thought he should know what I've been up to. They even got him clearance to read our mission reports."

McKay was about to go on when a slight moan drew the attention of all three men to the bed. Almost as one, they stood up and lined up along the rails. Beckett came over in response to a signal from Ronon and moved to the head of the bed on the side opposite the team. By this time, Elizabeth's eyes were blinking.

Elizabeth Weir slowly woke up and became aware she was not in her own room. It was too bright, for one thing, and the sheets weren't as soft. She didn't know where she was, at first, but the smell finally gave it away. "Why am I in the infirmary?" she wondered. There were voices, too.

"Elizabeth, love, can you hear me? You're in the infirmary. You had a wee spell and I thought you needed some extra rest."

Carson's brogue was of some comfort to the confused Elizabeth. She blinked several times, trying to clear her brain from the sedative. She realized that there were several people peering at her, but only Carson had spoken.

Suddenly she remembered. "John!" she said, as her eyes flew open, turning automatically to the side of the bed.

"John," she repeated, her eyes opening wide, "Rodney, Ronon!" She struggled to sit up. Ronon adjusted the head of the bed to raise her up while John reached behind her shoulders to ease her up. Her eyes kept darting between the three men, and her face lit up with a 1000 watt smile.

"What happened?" she asked, looking toward Beckett.

"Take it easy, love. You fainted in the gate room," said Beckett, checking Elizabeth's vitals. She wasn't paying attention to him, however; her eyes had returned to focus on a healthy, living John Sheppard sitting next to her bed, holding her hand.

Rodney was smirking. "See, she just needed to see us and everything is fine."

"Everything is **not** fine, Rodney," said Beckett, barely controlling his temper while he recorded the observations on Elizabeth's chart.

Elizabeth looked over to the doctor. "But I just fainted. I can go back to my quarters, right?"

Beckett looked pointedly at Elizabeth. "Are you taking lessons now from our accident-prone colonel? We need to discuss your treatment." Turning to SGA-1, he added, "without the benefit of an audience."

"Wait a minute, why can't we stay? We're her support system, and she is always there supporting us." Rodney was offended, and frankly curious.

"You can come back later. Right now, I have to speak to my patient about my diagnosis. You've seen her, so go one wi' ye. Get something to eat. You can see her tomorrow." Beckett was reduced to making shooing motions as he herded the men out of the infirmary.

Returning to Elizabeth, Carson began, "This is what I've been warning you about for the last several weeks, Elizabeth."

Dr. Weir lowered her eyes at the doctor's direct stare. "I know, I tried to deal with things,. . ." She trailed off, looking anywhere but at Carson.

Drawing her attention back to him, Dr. Beckett continued, "You have got to take care of yourself, no matter what happens. That means you have to come to grips with those possibilities. Now, I will release you from the infirmary as soon as you have two good meals in you and a good night's sleep, but I want you to schedule some time with Kate. You need to find a better way to handle stress than taking it out on your own body."

Carson put down her chart, took her hand, and continued in a softer tone. "You should also consider being open about some things. You're not fooling anybody. And the pain of loss is magnified by things left undone and unsaid."

Carson placed her hand back on the bed, noticing that she looked somewhat shocked. Changing tone, pretending the previous had never been said, he continued, "Now, I was planning on asking you to dinner with me tonight, but I hadn't planned on it being in the infirmary. I guess we'll just have to make do." And with that, Carson sent an orderly for two trays from the mess hall and prepared to have dinner with his slightly embarrassed expedition commander.

Upon leaving the infirmary, Sheppard, Rodney, and Ronon decided to meet for dinner in an hour, giving time for Ronon to find Teyla and John to find his father. That was how John found himself the subject of embarrassing discussions over dinner.

"You mean his hair does that all by itself?" Rodney frankly didn't believe it, but he had been wondering where John was getting a steady supply of hair gel.

Edward Sheppard smiled and looked over at his son, completely aware of his discomfort. "Yes, it drove his poor mother crazy. She thought for awhile he was doing it on purpose. When she tried to comb it straight, however, it looked even worse." The man shrugged. "Finally we just gave up and began calling him Spike."

"Spike?" said Rodney with a gleeful grin. John grimaced for the fifth time that night. Again he wondered why he had thought it would be a good idea to have his father in Atlantis.

Ronon raised an eyebrow. "Not a bad name for a warrior."

Teyla was finding the older man interesting and very different from his son. "Has John always wanted to fly?"

Edward Sheppard laughed. "I'll say. When he went as Superman one Halloween, we had to point out to him a note on the costume package that said 'cape does not enable wearer to fly.'"

John turned bright red at the general laughter. He could also see that some marines at nearby tables were doing their best to eavesdrop. "Give me a break, guys, I was five years old."

"So, was Spike always a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy?" Rodney always went for the most embarrassing information.

"Well, there was Michelle Lewis. . ."

"OK, guys, enough already."

"Why Colonel, are you blushing?" Teyla grinned at her team leader's embarrassment.

"No, I just think we should change the subject. For example, how are we going to tell everyone about what's been going on?"

"What do you mean?" Teyla looked truly puzzled.

"I mean, I don't want to have to explain the last six weeks to everyone who walks up to me. I think we should plan on a group debriefing so we can tell everyone at once and have all of us there to tell the whole story. It might make a good time for a party as well."

"Any excuse for a party, huh Colonel? Well, unlike you, I am fully capable of saying NO to various nosey parkers. I am also incredibly behind in some research that could be critical to our survival, and I'm not sure a lengthy hand-wringing would be very useful. Uh, do you want that?" finished Rodney, pointing at John's pudding.

John gave up the dessert and leaned back looking at the reaction from his other teammates.

Teyla looked thoughtful. She was the one who had seen first hand the difficulties the Atlantis personnel had experienced in dealing with the loss of these three. As she considered Sheppard's suggestion, she couldn't help but feel that the opportunity to release a little tension might be helpful to morale in general. "I think that would be a very good idea, Colonel."

"You could also introduce the new men," contributed Ronon, always conscious of the military readiness factor.

"I already know most of the story, but I, for one, would like to hear it again," said Edward Sheppard.

"So, McKay, that leaves you as the odd man out. Think you can tear yourself away from all the glowing toys long enough to tell folks what life was like on a hive ship?" John looked at the scientist, daring him to contradict.

"Oh, all right, but if your little shindig keeps me from completing the power balancing equations for the Zed PM, I'll be sure to note the source of the delay," said Rodney as he finished scooping up pudding.

"Good," said John, hoping that Rodney stopped short of licking the bowl. "I'll let Elizabeth and Beckett know, and we'll schedule it for as soon as she's out of the infirmary."

The group broke up soon after that, and John led his father back to their quarters. On the way, however, he stopped by a balcony and took the man out to see the stars of the Pegasus Galaxy. They stood there in companionable silence, and John was reminded of the cook-out at the O'Neill's when he and his father first made peace. They had looked at the stars of the Milky Way then.

"You have a good team, John. I can see the respect under the teasing."

"Yeah, we're always there for each other. I think Teyla felt our loss pretty hard since she wasn't there to back us up."

"Is there any chance of getting a trip through the 'gate with your team?"

John smiled. "I've been trying to think of a place to go, that is if Carson clears me. I was also going to take you to the mainland later in the week after I have everything sorted out. I should be able to finish up tomorrow."

His father smiled, looking out at the ocean. "I'm glad I came. No mission report can capture all of this."

John looked at the older man's profile in the starlight, and suddenly all the teasing and embarrassment was forgotten. Instead, he was just happy he was able to share his new life and his Atlantis family with his father.

"I'm glad you came, too, Dad."

The next day, as promised, John spent orienting the new recruits and finishing the unloading of the _Daedalus_. He had time to skim many of the reports that had come in during his absence, and he paid particular attention to information on wraith movements. It appeared that the two hives that had taken the location of Earth had not shared it with their fellow wraith. He would be sure that was mentioned in the report the following week.

Beckett had decided to keep Elizabeth in the infirmary one more day. She protested, of course, saying she had eaten three good meals, but Carson wanted to be sure she got one more good night's sleep.

"But I'll sleep better in my own quarters."

"Not if you stay up reading reports. I want to be sure you sleep, so you're my guest for one more night."

John, who had witnessed this exchange while visiting Elizabeth and catching her up, rolled his eyes in sympathy. "Then we'll plan the debriefing party for tomorrow night. Would that be OK?"

Beckett nodded as Elizabeth said "Yes."

"Good," said John, standing up. "I'll just go and be sure the crates of goodies are still secure and check in with the mess staff to get everything ready for a real party." He reached over and squeezed her hand, saying "I'll pick you up tomorrow before the briefing. I have someone I want you to meet."

Elizabeth had been unconscious when John's father was in the infirmary, so she thought he meant a new recruit. "I'll see you tomorrow."

John gave her his lopsided grin and headed out to the mess hall.

**TBC**

Please review!


	14. Debriefing

**A/N: Pardon the stuff on genetics. I accidently created a situation where women couldn't have the gene, and I had to fix it. The conversation everyone is waiting for is in the next chapter. Also, sorry about the delays. I'm a doctoral student with a full time job.   
**

** Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, its characters, terms, and locations, are the intellectual property of others. This amateur effort is not intended to infringe on those copyrights.  
**

**------------------------------------------------- **

** Debriefing**

_Stargate Command – Cheyenne Mountain_

Dr. Carolyn Lam knocked softly on General Landry's office door.

"Come in, doctor. What can I do for you?"

The doctor came in and closed the door behind her, an action that had Landry raising his eyebrows. She then sat down in a chair in front of his desk and placed a folder on her lap.

"I wanted to update you on the artificial insemination process as well as the DNA testing results we discussed earlier. First, I thought I'd let you know that we have two confirmed pregnancies so far."

"Excellent. Has anything changed regarding the DNA tests?"

"Well, yes and no. Do you remember when I said that either Dr. Beckett was wrong about the ATA gene being on the Y chromosome or Edward Sheppard wasn't John's biological father?"

Landry nodded.

"Well, it turns out both statements are correct."

Landry frowned. "I don't understand."

Lam opened up the folder showing the general two bands of genetic information. "This genetic profile shows that John Sheppard and Edward Sheppard aren't related. There are only five points of similarity between their profiles."

"OK, so how is Beckett wrong?"

"Dr. Beckett was working from his own samples, and he discovered that his Y chromosome contained extra nucleotides. He assumed, rightly, that these nucleotides were genetic markers left over from the Ancients who interbred with humans. The problem was, he didn't account for some other things we've found since then. For one, women are able to activate ancient technology as well as men, so the gene can't be a sex related trait."

"OK, I can see that. We haven't seen many women with the gene, but that doesn't mean they aren't out there."

"Precisely. When I compared Dr. Beckett's DNA with John Sheppard's, I found that Sheppard had extra nucleotides on his X chromosome as well as chromosomes 5, 11, and 17. In other words, it would appear that the ability to use ancient technology relies on a cluster of genes. If a person has either the X or the Y, that person can turn on technology but not use it with the facility demonstrated by Sheppard. By having them both, plus possibly some additional genetic factors, he is able to operate the technology with little effort."

"So," Landry paused, trying to work out the implications. "John Sheppard's children may not have his facility unless their mothers have a similar gene on the X chromosome. . ."

"And, that particular X chromosome is present in the egg used. In other words, it is still uncertain we will have any children with Sheppard's facility with ancient technology."

"Have you checked any of the mothers?"

"No, that was my next step."

"Thanks, Carolyn. Keep me posted," said Landry, standing as she stood.

Dr. Lam nodded and exited the office to return to her lab. Landry remained, wondering if there was a way to clone John Sheppard.

_Atlantis_

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had been rushing around all day preparing for the party/debriefing to be held that evening. The secret crates were in the hands of the kitchen staff, and the contents of other boxes were being unpacked. They had originally planned on using the mess hall, but the crew of the _Daedalus_ was invited, and there just wasn't enough space. The gate room, therefore, had become the official party room.

John was now on his way to Colonel Caldwell's office on the _Daedalus_. The colonel had an office on Atlantis, but he was supervising the work on the radio that had given out during the trip back from Earth, so John was told to look for him there.

John knocked on the cabin door and came to attention as Caldwell looked up.

"Come in, Colonel, what can I do for you?"

"Well, sir, as you know we are holding an open debriefing this evening to tell the whole story once, and I wanted to be sure you knew that we wanted you to contribute your experiences."

Caldwell was a little taken aback. He knew that there was a residual distrust for him among the Atlantis personnel, and he usually didn't push his way in on their gatherings.

"Of course, Colonel, what time?"

"That would be 1900 hours. We are setting up in the gate room, and we'd like to have you with those of us telling the story. We were planning on sitting on the steps so everyone could see."

"Fine, I'll be there," said Caldwell, turning back to the report he was reading. He noticed after a few seconds, however, that Sheppard hadn't left.

"Was there something else, Colonel Sheppard?"

"Uh, yes sir. While I was on Earth I got something for each person, and they will be wearing them tonight. I picked one up for you, too, but I wanted to be sure you could laugh at the situation. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't wear it." John held out a small bundle to the older colonel and looked at the wall behind him.

Caldwell looked at Sheppard suspiciously and took the offered garment, shaking it out. All of a sudden he cracked a grin and looked over at the younger colonel. "Are you sure this will be received well on Atlantis?"

John grinned. The colonel got it. "If you wear it with that grin, I think everyone will enjoy it."

Caldwell nodded, still smiling. "OK, I'll have it on. I'm assuming the dress for tonight is casual."

"Yes, sir, it is. However, you might want to throw a jacket over that until we're ready to unveil things. We kind of want to make a statement."

"Excellent, colonel. I'll see you at 1900. Dismissed."

"Thank you, sir." John turned and left Caldwell's office with a smile on his face. "This might help mend some fences," he thought as he headed back to his own office.

Teyla had stopped in to visit Elizabeth who was anxious to get out of the infirmary that evening. The expedition leader had had two full nights' sleep and had eaten three healthy, if not large, meals, and Teyla could see her color returning. The light in her eyes, however, was probably due more to the return of the missing men rather than to more rest and food.

"I am glad to see you looking so well, Dr. Weir."

"Thank you, Teyla. I am sorry I let things get out of hand." Elizabeth looked down and plucked at the sheet that covered her, somewhat embarrassed at the admission.

"I believe everyone here understands your choices. Some of us found it difficult to help you, however."

Elizabeth looked at the Athosian. This woman, the leader of her people, probably understood Elizabeth's position better than anyone else on the planet.

"Teyla, I wanted to thank you for instructing me in stick fighting. During the last seven weeks, that was probably the only activity I enjoyed at all." Teyla nodded, but Elizabeth went on. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I would like to continue learning from you."

Teyla smiled and nodded again. "I would be happy to continue your instruction. I have noticed you have a natural grace that many men lack, and that flexibility can help you against a stronger opponent. It is always wise to be able to defend oneself."

"Good. Dr. Beckett has asked that I take it easy for the rest of the week, but maybe we can resume next week?"

"I look forward to it." Teyla gave Elizabeth's hand a squeeze and left the infirmary, passing Kate Heightmeyer coming in.

Elizabeth, who had picked up a book when Teyla left, looked up as Kate dragged over a chair. "Hello, Kate. Another session already?"

Dr. Heightmeyer smiled and shook her head. "No, this is more of a social call, but I wanted to be sure you understand that we will need to continue these sessions for a little while."

Elizabeth nodded, resignedly. "I realize my reaction to stress and grief wasn't healthy. Can we start next week? Carson is asking me to take the rest of this week off."

Kate frowned. "Couldn't we get in at least one session while you're off, like maybe in a few days? It will be better if our first session is during a time when you have fewer pressures on you."

Elizabeth sighed. "Ok, in four days or so."

Kate stood up and approached the bed. "So, are you feeling OK now?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Yes, food and sleep are amazing things when you haven't had much recently."

Kate nodded, but she knew that the real reason for Elizabeth's recovery was the return of John, Rodney, and Ronon. She was hoping to give Elizabeth the tools and strength to deal with their loss when a miracle did not occur.

"OK, then I'll see you in a few days."

"No, you'll see me this evening. You're going to the debriefing, aren't you?"

Kate grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for the world! Later," she added as she turned to leave.

As she passed Dr. Beckett's office, however, she noticed that the man was staring at a chart, looking completely puzzled. Knocking lightly on the door, she stepped in his office.

"Carson, is anything wrong?"

Carson started at the soft knock, but quickly regained his equilibrium. "No, love, everything is fine."

"I just noticed you looked concerned and wondered if there was anything I could do."

Carson Beckett looked up at the psychiatrist and motioned her in. He got up and closed the door, puzzling Kate even more.

"Actually, I'd like to talk to someone about this, and I don't want it to get back to the people involved." He raised his eyebrows at her and Kate nodded in understanding and acceptance of his terms. He moved behind his desk and opened up the file again.

"You know of course about the ancient technology activation gene, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, when Colonel Sheppard's father arrived, I did a standard workup on him including drawing blood. Since I had a little left over, I decided to do a genetic profile of him to compare with John so I could see if there were any other genetic markers we might have missed."

Kate nodded again. So far, this made sense.

"The profiles don't match."

Kate froze. "What do you mean, they don't match?"

"I mean that Colonel Edward Sheppard and Colonel John Sheppard aren't related to one another."

Kate frowned. "Has Colonel, um, this is confusing. Has John given you any reason to think he was adopted?"

"No, he hasn't, and I'm afraid he may not know."

"Oh, that is a difficult situation. Especially if he expects his father to use his genes around here."

"So you see my predicament."

Kate nodded, trying to think of possible scenarios. "You might want to talk to John's father in private to be sure he understands about the gene and to give him a chance to explain about the adoption. If he doesn't volunteer, ask him point blank. In this galaxy, you are his doctor, and he should know he can count on your discretion. But he needs to know before John finds out by accident."

Carson nodded. "I had pretty much come to that conclusion myself. Thanks for listening, Kate."

Kate stood up to leave. "Anytime, Carson. And by the way, I'll be having sessions with Elizabeth for the next few weeks."

"Good. The lass needs to know how to take care of herself."

"That's what I'm working toward. See you tonight?"

Carson grinned as he escorted Kate to his office door. "You couldn't keep me away. I've already worked out the schedules so almost everyone can go."

"Great. See you later."

As Carson watched Kate leave, he thought back to his problem. Tapping his earpiece, he said, "Colonel Edward Sheppard, please report to the infirmary."

Several hours later, John stopped by the infirmary to pick up Elizabeth for the debriefing, and he grinned when he saw her up and dressed.

"I came to get you for the briefing. I see Carson decided to let you out."

"Yes," said Elizabeth, "but I had to promise to let you do most of the work and to eat anything you gave me."

"Now that has all kinds of possibilities," said John, offering his elbow as an escort.

As they exited the infirmary, John steered them to the residential quarters. "There's something you need to put on for the debriefing."

Elizabeth looked confused. "What's wrong with my uniform?"

"Nothing. It's just that I brought back a t-shirt for everyone, and most of them will be wearing theirs, so I thought you might want to wear yours," he said, looking down at her with a grin. That was when she realized that though he had on his Atlantis jacket, the t-shirt underneath was not black. Her eyes narrowed. "John Sheppard, what have you done?"

John had carefully developed his innocent look, and he now pulled it out full force. "Me? I just wanted to bring everyone a souvenir." They had reached her quarters, and John opened the door for her. "It's on your bed. Why don't you change and we can go on."

Elizabeth slipped into her quarters and found a blue t-shirt with Greek lettering on it. "John?" she called. He stuck his head in to see what the problem was and found her holding up the t-shirt as if it were a particularly loathsome object. "Before I put this on, I want to know what it says."

"It's Greek to me."

"I know it's Greek, I want to know what the translation is."

John grinned. "That is the translation: It's Greek to me. Now you have a pat answer for any language you don't understand." He ducked back out into the corridor so she could change.

Elizabeth smiled, taking off her uniform top and putting on the t-shirt. Hmm. How did he know her size?

She opened the door and stepped out. "Ready," she said, smiling up at him.

Holding out his arm again, John smiled back. She was still too thin, and the shadows under her eyes were still there, but the vitality was back in her manner, and her smile lit up the room.

They entered the gate room together to find everyone milling around comparing t-shirts. While on Earth, John had logged into and a few other sites and found something for almost everyone. Bates' shirt said "To err is human; to forgive divine. Neither is Marine Corps policy." The marines around him were grinning and giving him a hard time. Radek was wearing a strange shirt that said "Black holes are where God is dividing by zero." The head nurse from the infirmary was wearing "She who must be obeyed," and the other female nurses were jealous. Kate's shirt said "I put the fun in dysfunctional," and she was seated next to Carson whose shirt said "Ask me about my minor medical problems." Kavanaugh was in the corner stewing by himself. His shirt said "My boss went to Earth and all I got was a lousy t-shirt!" John had had the shirt made especially for him.

John escorted Elizabeth to a place in front of the impromptu stage. Elizabeth noticed an older man who stood up when he saw her approach. "Dr. Elizabeth Weir, this is my father, Colonel Edward Sheppard."

Elizabeth had heard from Beckett that John's father was visiting, but she wasn't sure what to expect. As she shook his hand and said all the right things, she realized that whatever had divided John and his father had been dealt with. John looked anxious that they get along, and his father looked at his son with a mixture of pride and wonder. "Well, Atlantis does that to you," thought Elizabeth.

After Elizabeth was seated next to his father, John gestured for his team to join him. Rodney and Ronon joined John on the steps while Teyla sat on the other side of Elizabeth. Her shirt said "Earth Tourist." Daniel Jackson and Colonel Caldwell also joined them on the steps to give the Earth and the _Daedalus_ points of view. In keeping with the t-shirt theme, Daniel was wearing a shirt with a Latin phrase: "If you can read this, you are overeducated." A few scattered laughs indicated that there were, indeed, some in the audience who met that requirement. Caldwell, taking John's advice, had a coat over his shirt. As he sat down on the steps, he gave his most evil grin and took off his jacket to a stunned silence followed by a roar from his men and general laughter from the Atlantis personnel. The message: "Age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill."

John scanned the room getting everyone's attention then the three returning men took off their jackets all at once. The laughter was instantaneous as folks read the t-shirts. Ronon's said "Some days it's not worth chewing through the restraints." Rodney's and John's shirts, however, were priceless. John's said "Sarcasm, just another service we offer," while Rodney's said "National Sarcasm Society, like we need your support."

As the laughter died down, John stepped forward and said, "Thanks for coming to this first group debriefing. We decided it was easier to tell our story once for everyone, including our disagreements on what happened, than to keep repeating things. We invited Dr. Daniel Jackson to give Earth's side of the story, and Colonel Caldwell is here to contribute information on the battles. We're also broadcasting over the mikes so the folks on duty can hear, but you guys can override in case of emergency. I'm going to ask Dr. Zelenka to start by explaining what they found after the _Daedalus_ had left." John sat down, then, and the Czech scientist came up from the audience to start the tale with the discovery of the wraith computer virus.

As soon as he seemed finished, Rodney interrupted with stories of life on the hive ship while helping the wraith.

It wasn't quite a repeat of the debriefing at the SGC. For one thing, though McKay started off fairly reasonably, he was soon interrupted by Ronon who pointed out how the beam out technology didn't work. John piped in about the fighters launching to attack the hives, and Colonel Caldwell explained how the hives jumped into hyperspace and the _Daedalus'_ search for Sheppard.

John then described his landing on the hive and beginning the search for Rodney and Ronon.

"And you took your sweet time in getting to us," sniped McKay. "On top of that, you released Ronon first."

"Ronon doesn't talk as much, and we were trying to avoid the wraith."

"Of course he doesn't talk as much. We were in a hive, and I had solutions to prob -- . . ."

John had opened a power bar and shoved it into Rodney's mouth. Ronon grinned. "That worked on the hive ship as well." The audience laughed.

"Hunting and gathering in a hive ship is not exactly my idea of fun," Sheppard continued.

McKay had gotten the power bar out of his mouth in time to add "and the smell wasn't great either."

And it went on from there.

"And I want to point out it was I that figured out how to overload the engines on your F-302."

"Actually, Dr. McKay, that was **my **F-302, and now the _Daedalus _is one short, "said Caldwell.

Daniel described the difficulties the SGC had in trying to get the weapons chair to work. Then they began to describe the battle. Everyone was on the edge of their seats until Rodney went into excruciating detail on how he had fixed the Antarctic weapons chair.

"Once the battle was over, Sheppard fainted."

"I passed out. I had an infection if you'll recall."

"He fainted."

"Passed out."

Ronon stood up. "Sheppard collapsed," he said, then he made a point of sitting down between the other two.

Rodney described the beaming to the SGC and waiting for Sheppard to wake up, while Caldwell explained how they had to hurry back to Atlantis once the _Daedalus _was cleared for travel.

Someone from the audience shouted "What was it like on the _Daedalus_ for three weeks with Dr. McKay?" Ronon grimaced and shook his head.

"Well, excuse me," said Rodney, "at least we didn't have to scavenge for food and we had a few choices besides odd fruit."

John then gave a fairly abbreviated version of his time at the SGC. He didn't mention his donations since Ronon and Rodney didn't know about them. From his previous conversations, he didn't think his father knew either. He would get with Daniel later to be sure he didn't mention something accidentally. Instead, he covered those three weeks by emphasizing moving the dart and fighting in the exercise at Nellis.

"Uh, Colonel, aren't you forgetting something?" said Daniel, when John got to the day they came back through the gate.

John started to blush and look uncomfortable. "I didn't think we needed to mention that."

Daniel looked dumbfounded, and Edward Sheppard rolled his eyes.

Daniel stood up. "I think everyone here needs to know that Colonel John Sheppard was awarded the Air Force Cross for his part in the battle against the wraith. The ceremony was the morning of the day we came back through the gate. The President himself presented the medal."

Several people had open mouths, and the military contingent began cheering. Gradually, everyone began to applaud until there was a roar of noise and a standing ovation. John was red by this time. He glanced at Elizabeth and his father and saw that they were beaming while they applauded.

Holding up his hands for quiet, John stood up and faced the group again, his discomfort at the attention evident. "OK, OK. Thanks, folks. But I think you realize from our descriptions that this was far from a one-man show. Now, I think we wanted to use this occasion for a party, so is the food ready?"

The group from the kitchen waved, and John waved back. "As you are aware, we used the trip back to bring some stuff we've been missing. I gave it to the kitchen folks earlier, so now we can eat. Let's go!"

The crowd began to amble over to some tables set up with food when a marine suddenly cried out "Chocolate chip cookies!" After that there was a run on the tables as everyone tried to get some of their favorites.

John stepped down from the makeshift dais and approached his father and Elizabeth. "Well, was it worth the wait?"

Elizabeth grinned. "I don't think any of our debriefings have been that much fun. Maybe we should do this more often."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like to avoid any more six week missions with unclear results."

Elizabeth's smile faded somewhat. "I'd like that, too."

Seeing Elizabeth's discomfort, the older colonel suggested they enter the fray at the refreshment tables.

"He's right, Elizabeth. You have to eat whatever I tell you to eat." John grinned, remembering Carson's rule.

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. "Before you get any strange ideas, colonel, just remember that paybacks can be hell."

"Yes, ma'am," said John, extending his arm once again as they moved among the citizens of their city.

TBC

**Please review!**


	15. Regrouping

**Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis, its characters, settings, and terms, are the intellectual property of others. This amateur effort is not intended as an infringement of those rights.**

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**Regrouping**

The party went on for several hours, and everyone kicked back and had a good time. It appeared that the excessive stress of the Pegasus galaxy led to excessive recreation whenever it was available, so the group did indeed "party hardy."

Elizabeth, along with John and his father, had grabbed a little of everything from the buffet tables, and John made sure she ate a good percentage of it. They had retreated to a corner to be out of the way, but many of the military contingent and some scientists came over to congratulate John on his medal.

"Way to go, sir," said Major Lorne. "Glad to see the Air Force recognizes quality and the Marines don't get all the recognition."

"Yep, Major, we have to uphold the honor of the service," replied John, smiling at the genuine pride in the eyes of his second.

Rodney came by as well. "It's about time we had some decent food," he said, shoving a yellow bar in his mouth.

"Uh, Rodney, are you sure that isn't a lemon bar?"

"Lemon? They said butterscotch!" The entire group was treated to Rodney spitting out a large lump of chewed food. "I've got to find Beckett. I hope he has an epi-pen with him."

The group groaned as the scientist hurried off.

"John, that was butterscotch," said Elizabeth.

"I know that, but he was eating so fast I figured he'd miss the taste. I admit if I had known we'd get to see a replay, I wouldn't have made the comment." Turning to his father, he explained, "Rodney is allergic to citrus."

"Oh, that explains it," said his father, secretly amused at the reactions of the scientist.

Even Caldwell had come over to Sheppard at one point and shaken his hand. "Congratulations, Colonel. By the way, you were also right about the t-shirt. I enjoyed being here."

"Anytime, Colonel," said John, seeing hope for their future relations. "I'm thinking the _Daedalus _crew and the Atlantis personnel are just two halves of a bigger whole, and the sooner they start seeing that, the better."

Caldwell was impressed with the insight from the younger man. "I believe you may be on to something, Colonel, and I think this debriefing helped demonstrate that concept since it took all of us to tell the story." He indicated the interactions going on between the two groups. "It seems that everyone can come together over brownies," he concluded, smiling. "Later, Colonel. Dr. Wier. Colonel Sheppard." He nodded to the group and left.

Despite these interruptions, however, the small group just watched everyone have fun. They laughed at the fight over the last Twinkies, groaned over an impromptu food fight, and roared when Ronon discovered bananas.

"Do the men of Atlantis have some kind of problem?" he said, holding the fruit in a suggestive manner. "Is this fruit a treatment of some kind?"

"No, they just grow that way in bunches," said Elizabeth.

"But they have been used to demonstrate the appropriate method for putting on certain, uh, . . ."

"Prophylactics," volunteered his father.

"Yeah, prophylactics," finished John, a little red around the ears. Ronon, just looked confused.

Finally things were winding down. Elizabeth had not cleaned her plate, but she had made a significant dent in it. There were few leftovers from the buffet, and the kitchen crew made short work of those. The _Daedalus _crew had returned to the ship, but not until they had fully initiated the new pool table. A tournament had been planned for the next several days, and the scientists were convinced they would win through geometry.

"I think I'll turn in," said the older Colonel, getting up from the chair he'd been in for awhile.

"Oh, wait, Dad," said John. "I've been meaning to ask something." He turned to Elizabeth. "Would you like to come to the mainland with Dad and me tomorrow? I wanted to take him out in a puddle jumper, and Teyla wanted to make a run to visit her people."

Elizabeth smiled in genuine pleasure. "That sounds like fun, especially since I am still on leave. Should I try to put a picnic together?"

John smiled and shook his head. "Already taken care of. Just grab your bathing suit and meet us in the jumper bay around 0900. That OK with you, Dad?"

Edward Sheppard nodded, looking forward to the opportunity to spend more time with the expedition commander. He had read her reports and was curious about her relationship with his son. "I'll see you then. Goodnight." The older colonel walked away, back to his guest quarters.

John turned to Elizabeth and offered his arm again. "May I escort you to your quarters?"

Elizabeth rose, taking John's arm, and smiling again. "As long as the route takes us by a balcony. Two days in the infirmary are enough to give me claustrophobia."

"I couldn't agree more," said John, leading her to their balcony.

They went out together and leaned against the railing, staring at the sea and sky. The sun had set long ago and the stars were out in all their Pegasus glory. John looked over to the woman beside him, considering his next words.

"You know, I brought my team special gifts from Earth."

"Oh?" said Elizabeth, then she frowned. "What in the world did you bring for Ronon?"

"A knife, of course. One of the best: a stainless steel switchblade. He had never seen one before."

"John, do we want to be encouraging him?" said Elizabeth, amused.

John just smiled and continued. "I brought single malt scotch for Becket. He was suitably grateful, but said not to hope for any sharing. Oh, well."

"I bet I can talk him out of a jigger."

"Be my guest. Rodney got a crate of chocolate and one of power bars, plus the latest laptop. As soon as I gave it to him, he disappeared. I think he's still transferring files. And for Teyla, I got some of the latest Earth fashions. A lot of them look strange to me, having been here for two and a half years, but I thought she should have a sampling. So, I sent Sam Carter to some boutique."

Elizabeth looked astonished. "How did you talk one of the best physicists on earth into doing your shopping?"

John smiled, and turned around, leaning back on the rail. "I think she was challenged with the idea of dressing someone from another planet. I had a picture of the team with me, and when she saw Teyla, she got this strange look in her eye." John shrugged. "I didn't check any of the stuff she bought so I hope it's OK. Maybe you could check on her at some point?"

"I'm sure it will be fine, knowing Sam Carter, but I wouldn't mind checking it out. I might get some ideas."

"Which brings me to the last gift I bought." John looked straight into Elizabeth's eyes with a look so intense she had to look down. "I was at a loss for something that would be special for you, so I hope this will do." He reached into his pocket and extracted the pendant he had purchased on earth. "I've been carrying it around for three days hoping for a chance to give it to you." He held it up and the silver caught the starlight.

Elizabeth was stunned. "John, it's beautiful. It's the Atlantis symbol, right?" she said, looking more closely at the charm.

"Yep. It's the point of origin for all gate addresses from Atlantis. I thought it was appropriate. May I?" he said, offering to put it on for her.

Elizabeth looked into his eyes then turned around, moving her hair out of the way. John opened the clasp, reached over her head to lower the necklace to her throat, and fastened it carefully, avoiding the small hairs at her nape. Elizabeth could feel his breath on her neck as he worked, and a shiver went up her spine as she waited for him to finish.

John gently smoothed her hair back into place, indicating he was done, and Elizabeth turned around to his smile. "I knew it would look perfect on you."

Elizabeth picked up the pendant again, amazed at John's thoughtfulness, then looked at him and said, quietly, "Thank you, John."

John backed up a little and suddenly looked nervous. He cleared his throat, and Elizabeth looked up. "Um, I was wondering if, uh, I could ask you for a favor."

She looked at him and said, "You can always ask." She smiled to show she was teasing.

"Um, would you mind welcoming me home again, only this time without collapsing on me?" He looked down for a minute, appearing shy for a moment. "I had a speech all ready and, uh, I think it still needs to be said." He looked up at her with hope and uncertainty in his gaze.

Elizabeth smiled slightly, then slowly turned and entered his space. Putting her arms around his waist and tucking her head under his chin, she whispered, "Welcome home, John."

His arms came around her gently and he rested his head against hers.

"Elizabeth, I am so sorry, so very, very sorry I couldn't let you know our status. I know you thought the worst, and I know we promised we wouldn't do that any more. I just couldn't think of a way to let you know. When we got to Earth, all energy was put into the battle, and they wouldn't stop to send a message."

He paused a moment, took a deep breath, and continued in a whisper next to her ear.

"I cannot promise you I will always return." He heard what he thought was a half sob, and he could feel her arms tighten around him. He pulled her closer, raising one hand to weave it into her hair, cradling her head against him. "I _can_ promise you that no matter where I am, if I am still alive, I will be trying to get back to you, no matter what."

She was quiet for a moment, just soaking up strength from his embrace. After a few minutes, she lifted her head and looked him in the eye. There were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling.

"I will not, actually I cannot, deny how your presumed death affected me. Carson would challenge any such denial. But I understand what happened and the constraints you were under. If you need to hear the words then know that I forgive you."

She rested her head against his chest again, listening to the comfort of his heart beat, and he stroked her back, finally feeling home. They were quiet for a long while, enjoying the starlight and the soft sounds of the ocean.

Finally, John broke the silence. "They weren't sure they were going to let me return," he said, quietly.

"I've been wondering about that. How did you get them to change their minds?"

"I took a page from your book and negotiated."

Elizabeth pulled back to look into his face, but it was shadowed in the starlight. Still, she could feel a new tension in his body. "What did you have that they wanted?"

John pulled back then, disengaging himself from her, and leaning on the railing once again. "I don't want to go into all the details right now, but I need to tell you part of it anyway. In return for the trip back through the gate, using the ZPM, I promised that Atlantis would allow me to return to Earth anytime it was necessary for Earth's defense." He turned his back on the ocean to face her again, but his face was still in shadow. "I wasn't sure I could make that promise, so I wanted you to know before we dial Earth this week."

Elizabeth also turned to the ocean, strangely chilled without John's arms around her. She wrapped her arms around her waist as she considered what he said. "I think we can live with that, but I hope they won't have to request. I assume this is in response to the difficulties they had with the chair?"

John nodded, a vague movement in the starlight. "I think they were taken by surprise. That's why they wanted to keep me there."

Elizabeth looked at his profile assessingly. "What else did you bargain with?"

John looked away, appearing nervous again. "Um, ask me later, OK? For now, I think Beckett will come after me with needles if I don't get you to your quarters and to bed." He moved to the door, opening it.

Elizabeth paused for a moment, disturbed that there was something John wouldn't tell her, but he did say she could ask later. Finally, nodding, she moved toward him, taking his arm once again, and they left the balcony.

At 0845 the next morning, Teyla and Elizabeth were sitting with Colonel Edward Sheppard in the mess hall when John came in.

"Well, the jumper is packed with picnicking supplies, including a few special things I held back from last night. Are you guys ready?"

Teyla stood up, gathering the trays. "Just let me put these away, and I'll be ready to go."

Elizabeth and Edward Sheppard stood up as Teyla left. "I think I have everything here," said Elizabeth, pointing to a bag. "We'll have radios, right?"

"Don't leave home without 'em," said John with a smirk. "Dad, you ready?"

"Yep, not much to take, so let's go."

"OK," said John, leading the way out of the mess.

The group made a quick walk to the jumper bay and loaded their gear into Jumper 1. Closing the hatch, John cleared their flight with the control room, and carefully took off through the skylight into the bright blue Atlantis morning.

"I thought we'd take a couple of orbits around the planet so you could see the spaceship side of the jumper. That ok with you ladies?"

"That's fine, John, just avoid the submarine aspects of jumpers for now," said Elizabeth.

"It goes underwater, too?"

"Yeah, you could say we found that out the hard way. Rodney crashed one in the ocean, and we had to use another to get to him before it flooded. It was touch and go for awhile, but we made it. If the hull isn't damaged, the jumpers seem to be fine up to about 5000 feet."

Edward Sheppard, riding shotgun, was looking over the controls for the jumper. "These controls are a lot simpler than a fighter aircraft."

"That's because so much of the interface is neural," said John. "The craft responds to my thoughts since I have the ATA gene." He demonstrated a few of the features, bringing up a strategic map of the planet followed by a sensor reading of life signs. He paused, looking over at his father. "I was wondering if you'd like a turn at the wheel on the way back."

Edward Sheppard stilled. This is what Dr. Beckett had warned him of yesterday. Buying time to put off the conversation, he replied, "Maybe, but for now I'm enjoying being a tourist. The driver never gets to see the countryside." With that, he made a point of looking out at the planet below them and reviewing what Beckett had told him.

"_Colonel Sheppard has the Ancient Technology Activation, or ATA gene, that allows him to operate almost all of the equipment in Atlantis. His gene is stronger than that of any other person on Atlantis." _

"_I didn't realize that."_

"_But there's something else, sir. Since his ability is genetic, he will expect you to have that same ability."_

_Edward Sheppard blanched. "You know we aren't related."_

_Dr. Beckett nodded. "Yes sir, I took the liberty of running a DNA profile on you. We are always trying to understand the genetic basis for this ability, and I thought comparing your DNA to John's would help indicate what he received from you and what he received from his mother."_

_The older colonel was silent. "We were unable to have children, and we felt so lucky to have John."_

"_So he is adopted?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Does he know?"_

_Edward Sheppard looked up suddenly. "No."_

_Carson nodded again. "I was afraid of that since he has never mentioned it in all our talks of genetics." He looked the colonel in the eye. "At some point, John is going to expect you to be able to operate the Atlantis technology, and you won't be able to. I wanted to warn you that you need to be prepared to explain that."_

_The colonel nodded, now understanding why Beckett called him in. "His mother and I planned to tell him when he was eighteen. Then she died his senior year, and he entered the Academy. There was just no time, and I didn't feel I could do it."_

"_I'm sorry this is forcing the issue. Good luck."_

_Edward Sheppard stood up to leave. "Thank you, Dr. Beckett. Given our rocky history, I think I'm going to need it." He left the infirmary deeply in thought._

Edward Sheppard sighed, knowing he would not be able to avoid the conversation he dreaded.

Turning his attention back to the planet, he could see the one continental mass as well as Atlantis, floating as an island.

"When did you find the mainland?"

"Once we got out with a jumper. The Athosians we rescued when we first got here decided to settle there. Those are Teyla's people, and we'll visit some with them while we're there." He looked over at his father with a smirk. "I'm teaching the kids how to play football."

"Football? You should teach them baseball. That's a true American sport."

The two men went on to argue the merits of one over the other, and Elizabeth, listening from the passenger seat, could tell it was a long running argument.

At one point, Edward Sheppard asked if he could look around the back, and John nodded, beginning his descent to the mainland.

His father moved to the back, beckoning Elizabeth to join him. She glanced at John, who seemed preoccupied, and moved to join the Colonel.

"When we land, do you think you could take Teyla and go on ahead? I need to speak to John about something."

Elizabeth tried not to show her surprise. "Of course. How long?"

"About half an hour should do it. Thank you, Dr. Weir."

"Elizabeth, please."

The older man smiled. "And I'm Edward."

They were interrupted by John who announced, "We're about to land if you want to see the settlement from the air."

His father moved back to the co-pilot's seat and looked over what appeared to be a village surrounded by tilled land. Looking back at Teyla, he asked, "What do you grow here?"

"Our main crop is tava beans, but we have begun experimenting with some seed brought from Earth by the _Daedalus_," said Teyla, pleased at the interest.

The puddle jumper settled gently on an open spot close to the shore but not too far from the Athosian settlement. John looked over at his father as he popped the hatch.

"Are you sure you don't want to take her for a spin?" he said with a grin.

Edward shook his head, smiling gently. "Not right now." He looked back at the women. Elizabeth nodded and stood up.

"John, do you mind if Teyla and I go on to the camp? She has wanted to show me some of their traditional fighting sticks, and this seems like a good time." She gave a sneaky smile. "After all, that way you men can unload the jumper."

"Sure, go ahead," said John with a chuckle. As the women left, he added, "Why is it that even when they aren't shopping we end up doing the toting?"

"I heard that, John Sheppard," said Elizabeth with a warning look. Then she and Teyla walked in the direction of the village, deep in conversation.

John looked over at his father to find the older man contemplating him with a small smile.

"What?" he said as he finished shutting down the jumper and his post flight check.

"I was just remembering when your mother and I brought you home from the hospital."

"Whoa!" said John, looking back at his father in confusion. "What brought that on?"

Edward Sheppard shrugged, knowing but not wanting to admit it yet. "I guess I was realizing how proud of you she would be and wishing she was here to see this." He gestured vaguely to indicate the jumper, the city, the planet, etc.

John looked down, fiddling with the controls, a little embarrassed at the direction of the conversation. "Yeah, I sometimes wonder what she would think and wish I could share this stuff with her," he said, quietly.

"If I close my eyes, I can still see her face when they put you in her arms." Edward Sheppard smiled at the memory then looked his son in the eye. "John," he said, "I hope you realize how very much you were wanted and loved."

He looked up at his father with a half-smile. "I knew that. Usually. Except when I got in trouble at school, or broke the neighbor's window, or broke my own leg jumping out of a swing, or . . ."

"No, John, you were always very wanted and loved."

John was silent, trying to understand what his father was trying to say. Edward realized he wasn't going to get a response this time, so he cleared his throat and continued.

"The day we brought you home from the hospital, we had been waiting for you for quite awhile."

"Well, nine months can seem like a long time. . ."

"No, John, try five years."

"Five years?" His father had his full attention, now.

"Yes, we had been trying to have a baby for several years. It was the 1960s, and fertility diagnosis and treatment were in their infancy and were certainly beyond the reach of military health insurance. After five years, we were accepted as potential adoptive parents and settled in to wait." Edward Sheppard was finding the dialing device fascinating.

John smiled. Now he knew where this was going. "So you get the call the same day you find out mom was pregnant, right?"

"Uh, no. Instead, we get a call late one night and rush to the hospital. That morning, you were placed in your mother's arms and became our son."

There, it was out. Several seconds went by, and Edward looked up at his son. John's face was a blank.

"John, say something, please."

John looked out the front of the jumper, then at the floor, then finally he glanced at his father but looked away quickly. "So, uh, hmmm, I'm, uh, adopted?"

"Yes, John. In every way but one you are my son. But I had to tell you because it's the reason I can't activate any of your wonderful technology. I'm sorry, but I don't share your genes."

John got up somewhat stiffly and headed for the back of the jumper. "Hmm, OK, I guess. I think I'm going to go for a run now, you know, get the leg in shape, etc." He quickly exited the jumper tossing his jacket on the back bench, and took off down the beach.

Edward Sheppard watched him go. He'd done the same thing when his mother died: he'd run, trying to escape the feelings. Sighing one last time, he moved to the back of the jumper, collecting the picnic basket and the blankets, and heading out to the beach.

John, meanwhile, kept running. He kept running until his leg was burning with the effort he was making. Out of sight of the beach and the village, he finally stopped on a small hill that gave him a view of the ocean and stopped to breathe. His whole life had just turned upside down. He realized he felt the same way he did when he found out about having the ATA gene. This time, though, it appeared his whole life was a lie. Or was it? He always knew his mother loved him. And, except for recently, and in spite of the tension growing up, he knew his father cared for him. Why did this feel so strange?

As his breathing came under control, he began walking back, trying to get his feelings under control as well. He remembered his experience flying back with O'Neill from the Antarctic base and how he was concerned about finding out he had a mutant gene. Well, it looked like he was more of a mutant than he thought. He didn't even have his family to ground him anymore. He stopped on his walk back, leaning over, his hands braced on his thighs. No, that wasn't right. He still had his family, it's just they weren't his genetic family. So who was? Where did he get these genes? John straightened up and headed slowly back to what was intended as a nice relaxing trip for his father and Elizabeth. He worked to school his expression to match that scenario.

Elizabeth and Teyla approached the beach about forty minutes after John had left. Edward Sheppard was barefoot, relaxing on a blanket but his expression was reserved.

"Where's John?" asked Elizabeth.

"He decided to go running. Said something about strengthening his leg," said his father, drawing circles in the sand near the blanket.

Elizabeth could tell something was wrong, and as she looked to Teyla, she could tell the Athosian realized as well.

"Well, what about a little beach combing while we wait for him? I have found some very strange shells here."

Edward looked up with a half smile. "That sounds good."

The three took off their shoes and began to stroll down the beach, casually chatting about shells, and giving Edward time to relax.

John finally got back an hour later. By this time, he was limping slightly, having put too much stress on his leg, but his features were schooled to his usual casual smirk. The other three were gathered on the blankets reviewing their finds when he walked up.

"So where's lunch?"

Elizabeth looked up, shading her eyes. "About time you got back. We were about to open the basket and leave you nothing."

"Nah, you couldn't do that," said John, grabbing the basket and heading over to their blanket. He carefully sat down between Elizabeth and Teyla. "I made sure there was enough for a full platoon, so I know you wouldn't have been able to eat it all."

After setting the shells safely aside, the food was passed out and savored.

"Turkey sandwich, sir?" said John, offering the sandwich to his father.

The older man winced at the formality, but accepted the sandwich. Elizabeth caught the change of address and the tension in the atmosphere.

"Hey, you haven't admired the new shells we found."

John dutifully looked over their collection, making a couple of comments and actually pulling out a strange shell he had found on his run. Gradually, things began to ease as they finished lunch.

Collecting the trash and putting it in the jumper, John said, "How about we visit the kids, now?"

Teyla smiled. Turning to Edward Sheppard, she commented, "John is one of their favorite playmates."

They struck out along the short path to the village and spent the rest of the afternoon with the Athosians. They were convinced to stay for the evening meal, and they finally packed up to leave after sunset.

The walk back to the jumper was quiet. Teyla had decided to stay on the mainland until tomorrow to settle some business, so it was John, Edward and Elizabeth who finally settled into the jumper.

"Thank you, John. That was a great day," said his father.

"Yes, I really enjoyed myself," added Elizabeth.

John looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "See? You can relax and Atlantis didn't sink."

"We don't know that yet," said Elizabeth.

"I think Lorne or Rodney would have let us know," said John, as he closed the hatch and the jumper began to climb into the night sky.

The flight back was quiet as well. Elizabeth could still feel the tension between the two men, but it seemed less than earlier, so she hoped that they could work things out.

When they arrived back at Atlantis, she pleaded fatigue and quickly headed off to her quarters, leaving them alone again.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, sir."

"John, what happened to 'dad'?"

John looked down at the basket and other supplies he had removed from the jumper. "Give me a little more time. We'll talk again tomorrow." He gathered the gear, nodded at his father, and headed off to his quarters.

Edward Sheppard began the walk to his guest quarters, hoping he hadn't lost his son that day.

TBC

Reviews greatly appreciated!


	16. Meetings

**A/N: Stargate Atlantis, its names, locations, and terms, are the intellectual property of others.**

**A/N: This is another "between" chapter. Sorry to take so long. I will be trying to finish this in the next week.  
Thanks for all the reviews. They make writing easier. **

**A/N: I have read a lot of fan fiction in the last six months. It is possible that something I saw in another story will make its way into my story in some way. This is not intentional. If I accidently use something of yours, and you want it removed, please let me know.  
**

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**Meetings**

The sun and sand coupled with good food and relaxation made it easy for Elizabeth to drop off to sleep that night, but she awoke at 5AM, long before her alarm. Lying in bed, she contemplated the day before and wondered again what had happened to the happy mood between John and his father.

Finally accepting that she would get no more sleep, Elizabeth rose, put on some casual clothes, and slipped down the hall to a balcony to watch the sun rise. As the door slid open, she was startled to find John leaning against one side of the balcony, fast asleep. His forehead was wrinkled as if in concentration, and his position suggested that he would be sore when he woke up. Feeling concern, Elizabeth approached him and softly called his name.

"John, wake up."

John Sheppard started slightly, then opened his eyes to find himself on the balcony, still in his clothes from the night before, and with a confused Elizabeth Weir staring at him.

"Have you been out here all night?"

John stirred, pushing himself up. Elizabeth reached out to steady him as he got his legs under him, but he moved away from her to lean on the railing. He had still not said anything but just stretched and rubbed his hands over his face. As he got up, Elizabeth noticed the cane leaning on the wall next to where he had been sitting.

"Where did you get the cane?" she said, walking up to stand next to him. The sky was just beginning to gray with the coming dawn, so she couldn't really make out his features.

John sighed, still not really awake. "I dropped by the infirmary for some Tylenol for my leg and Carson ripped into me for overdoing the exercise thing. He told me to use the cane tomorrow to help it heal. I guess that's today." He stopped and looked at her. "What are you doing out here?"

"I've slept so much in the last few days that I think I'm caught up. Anyway, I was awake at 5 and thought I'd watch the sun rise for a change."

John smiled at that. "Yeah, you usually burn the midnight oil so you don't get a chance." Looking out at the ocean, he continued, "Well, it looks like you picked a great day for it. Not a cloud in the sky."

"That still doesn't explain what you're doing out here. You look like you haven't been to bed."

John looked down at his hands gripping the railing. "Well, I came out to get some air and must have sat still too long and dozed off." He hoped she would just drop it, but no such luck.

"So, can you tell me what yesterday was about? The tension between you and your father?"

John still hadn't looked at her. He knew he would end up telling her, he just wasn't sure he was ready. Looking up at the bare sliver of sun peeking above the horizon, he sighed and decided to get it over with.

"I'm adopted."

"What?"

He sighed again. "He told me I was adopted."

"Oh, you mean you didn't know?"

"No. He had never told me. I don't think he would have told me now except that he couldn't use the technology and he figured I would start asking questions." John still stared at the horizon, now squinting against the increasing light.

"Ok." Elizabeth paused. This information had obviously upset him, but she wasn't sure why. "I take it you weren't pleased by that news."

He let out a snort. "How diplomatically you put it. No, I didn't need to have my world turned upside down again."

"Why is it upside down? He's still your father, you are still who you are. Anyone can see he loves you. What's the problem?"

"I know all that. In fact, that's the problem." He turned to lean against the rail, arms crossed in front of him, almost defensively. "I know he -- cares for me. . ."

"He loves you, John."

"OK, he loves me. Then why couldn't he tell me this years ago. I'm 39 years old! You'd think he could have found an opportunity!"

"Have you asked him?"

"No, not yet. I'm still having trouble getting my head around him not being my father."

"John, he's your father in every way but one. I thought you knew that."

"Yeah, I know. It's just I don't know why I feel, well, betrayed in some way."

"Talk to him, John," she said, placing one hand on his still crossed arms. She could feel the tension in him as she gave his arm a slight squeeze. "He might have some reasonable explanation. If he hasn't told you in all this time, he probably had a reason. He's also probably worried about your reaction. Teyla and I were."

"Teyla? How does she know?" said John, his head jerking up at this new piece of information.

"She doesn't, but we could both feel the change in the atmosphere when we came back from the village. He's hurting, too."

Pushing himself off the rail, John sighed for the third time. "The worst part of this is I feel I'm behaving like a 5 year old who has just found out Santa Claus doesn't exist. I know it's not his fault, I just, . . . I don't know," he tapered off, turning back to the sunrise, now turning the towers of Atlantis a beautiful pink.

"Talk to him, John," said Elizabeth, again. "I think you'll both feel better."

He looked at her then, at her hair shining in the sunlight while stirring to the slight breeze off the water. He smiled at the picture she made, and his whole face relaxed.

"OK, I'll see if he's around for breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, but I think you need to work through this on your own. I'll grab something on the way to see Kate."

"So, Carson has you talking to Kate about things?"

"Yes, I have to get in at least one session before I get my laptop back, and I want it back tomorrow!"

John actually chuckled at that. "They know exactly what button to push to get your compliance." He turned to leave then remembered something.

"Oh, by the way, could we have a brief meeting on a possible mission for tomorrow?"

"Well, first of all, I'm not on duty. Second, your leg isn't healed. So what did you think you'd be able to pull over on Carson?"

"I just wanted to take Dad off world, and I thought of a place that should be OK. We haven't been back in awhile, and we should check on them. So, could we meet at lunch? That way you're not on duty, and I'll have a chance to begin working on Carson."

"OK, lunch it is. See you then."

John smiled at her and turned to the door. As it opened, however, he turned back to catch her once again looking out to the ocean, the sunlight shining in her hair.

After stopping in his quarters to clean up, John went hunting for his father, finally finding him in the mess hall, alone, against a far window. John grabbed some oatmeal and coffee and walked over.

"Mind if I join you?"

Edward Sheppard looked up, startled, then indicated the chair across from him. "Please," he said, with a slight smile.

John sat down and stirred his oatmeal, finally taking a bite. He noticed his father had coffee only. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not particularly."

John took another bite, concentrating his gaze on his tray. Finally he gave up, putting the spoon in the bowl. "I've been thinking about what you told me," he said, looking up at his father for the first time since he sat down.

Edward nodded, deciding to let John take this where he needed to take it.

"What I don't understand is why you didn't tell me. I would think that somewhere in the last 39 years you could have mentioned 'and by the way, you're adopted.'"

His father knew it would come down to this. He looked down at his coffee cup and rubbed the back of his neck. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at John.

"We planned on telling you when you were around eight. Most folks we talked to suggested that by that age a child can understand these things, and we didn't want to hide those facts from you. We had even planned an outing that weekend. I had made sure I was home to support your mother. Then, that Friday, you came home from school and announced that one of your friends, I don't remember who, had found out he was adopted. The other boy was upset by the news, and you were sympathetic, saying things like 'I'm sure glad I'm not adopted' and 'Didn't his real parents love him?' We just couldn't bear to tell you that you were just like him. So, we had the outing but decided to put off telling you."

John was staring at his congealing oatmeal, unconsciously tapping his spoon on the bowl as he listened to his father.

"Then, suddenly you were thirteen. We didn't want to tell you just as you became a teenager because we didn't want you to be able to throw those facts in our face during the fights we knew we'd have. Being a teenager is hard enough. Things were heating up in the Middle East, and I wasn't sure I would be around. So, once again, we put things off. We decided that we would tell you when you graduated from high school."

John looked up at that. "But Mom died that year."

Edward nodded. "Yes, she did, and both of us had a rough time. I couldn't deal with your feelings since I was having so much trouble with my own. Then you went into the Academy, and there was no more time. I just hoped you'd never find out until I was gone. The papers are in the safe deposit box with my will."

The two men were quiet for a time, a small space of silence in the roar of the mess hall, John looking out the window, and his father stirring his cold coffee.

John sighed, then, and looked his father in the eye. "I'm sorry if you feel I reacted badly. I just wasn't sure of anything, and I needed to get away. I've thought about this situation, and I do understand that nothing has really changed. It's just that my view of my world has changed, and I'm having trouble catching up."

"I understand. Do you forgive me?"

John looked taken aback. "Forgive you? You mean for not telling me sooner? Sure, I guess."

There were a few more moments of silence as John stirred his now congealing oatmeal.

"So, uh, who are my parents, I mean, my biological parents?"

"I don't know, John," said his father, taking a sip of cooling coffee. "Again, it was the 1960s. The pill was around, but lots of teenage girls couldn't get them. Abortion wasn't legal. So we always thought it was a teenage girl that got into trouble, as they used to say." He lowered his coffee cup. "Why?"

"Well, with the genetic thing with Atlantis, the source of my genes may be important. I guess the SGC can investigate if they want."

"Then you don't care, particularly?"

John was silent a moment. "Well, I guess I'd like to know eventually, see if I have any other surprises in my genetics. But no, not particularly. You and mom raised me, you're all I've ever known, and I will always see you as my parents."

Edward Sheppard took a deep breath, not realizing he had stopped breathing earlier. "Maybe I will get some breakfast after all."

"OK," said John, standing up with his tray. "I've got to have a meeting with Beckett, but why don't we meet in Rodney's lab in a couple of hours? I can show you some of the stuff I have to do as his genetic lab rat. See you later, Dad." With a nod, and a half smile, John took his tray to the kitchen and left.

Edward Sheppard leaned back in his chair, relishing the sound of one word: dad.

Beckett, however, was not relishing what John had to say.

"Yer leg has na quite healed, and you put a lot of stress on it yesterday."

"Carson, I ran five miles and walked five miles back. Of course it was stressed. But if I can do that, I can take care of my team in an emergency. Besides, this mission should be a walk in the park."

"NONE of your missions are walks in the park, Colonel!"

"OK, maybe not that simple. But we've been there before, and the folks were willing to trade, so I think everything will be safe more or less."

Carson stood with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face, unconvinced.

"Look, I'll take an extra team of marines to be sure we get back in one piece. It's only for one day."

"Alright, but I will go, too, though why I let you talk me into these things…"

"Thanks, Carson!" said John, jumping up from the chair where he had been seated in the doctor's office. "I was going to brief Elizabeth at lunch. . .Ah, I know she's not on duty," he said in response to Carson's angry look. "I just thought I'd share this idea with all of the senior staff."

"OK, I'll be there, Colonel, but this really better be a cakewalk."

"Don't worry Carson," said John, walking out the door, "Everything will be fine."

"Ay, until the Genii or the wraith show up, or you fall down a hole, or catch a disease, or allow another entity to occupy your mind, or get a bug attached to your neck . . ." muttered Carson Beckett as he moved back to check the status of his latest experiments.

As John moved to Rodney's lab, Elizabeth was knocking on Kate Heightmeyer's door.

Kate opened the door from the inside, welcoming Elizabeth with a smile but noticing the other woman's cautious expression. "I took down the sign that said 'abandon hope all ye that enter here.'"

Elizabeth smiled at the reference. "Do I look that fearful?"

"No, just your usual reserved self," replied the psychiatrist, motioning Elizabeth over to two chairs by a window that looked out on the ocean.

"You know, your command of your emotions is necessary for your work in diplomacy, but it makes it difficult for your friends to help you."

"I hadn't thought of it that way. I've just always been reserved. My father never wanted big emotional displays, so those were kept private."

Kate nodded. "Well, this time it meant that physical changes had to occur before we were able to determine something was wrong. I think you need to learn to ask for help."

Elizabeth looked at her hands, clasped in her lap. "You know that's hard."

"Yes, but every human needs help at one time or another. In your position, you can become isolated from the rest of the personnel. In your role as leader, you have to be 100 percent, so you have to maintain awareness of your own well-being."

Elizabeth nodded. "OK, I can try to do that."

"Good," said Kate, smiling gently. "Both Carson and I would appreciate it, as would your other friends."

Elizabeth grinned crookedly at that.

"Now, let's talk about how this happened so it doesn't happen again."

"But it will. You know it will. We are always in danger of losing someone. Every time a team goes through the gate, we may never see them again," replied Elizabeth, looking out the window, worry written on her face.

"Yes, and I know it has already happened, starting the first week with Colonel Sumner. You know this time was different. You need to face that, Elizabeth."

"I know, Kate, but I don't think I can."

Kate studied the leader for a time, letting the silence lengthen.

Elizabeth continued, almost in a whisper. "When did he become so important to me? I've sent him out on mission after mission, but this one was different. I couldn't just let go and move on. Maybe it was the fact that Rodney and Ronon were gone, too. But all I could think about was John." She paused. "You know, we promised each other we wouldn't keep scaring each other with near death situations. We haven't exactly been able to keep it."

Kate paused at that. "Does he know how you feel?"

Elizabeth studied her hands again. "Sometimes I think so, other times I'm not so sure. But it doesn't really matter since we operate under military regulations and they are quite specific regarding relationships within a command structure."

"Elizabeth, policies and procedures can't dictate the human element of a situation. These feelings exist even if not acted on. It was these feelings that led you to depression even though they weren't expressed or specifically returned. They affect you regardless of whether they are appropriate or not."

"Well, I guess I'll have to learn to deal with them somehow, because I can't do anything about them. The policy is still there, and we can't do anything about it." She had begun to pick at a thread hanging off the bottom of her uniform.

"Elizabeth, I think we need to have a few more talks. I know you don't want to hear that, but I think it would be best. But I have an assignment for you."

Elizabeth looked up, dismayed at the additional visits, but curious about what kind of assignment a psychiatrist could give her.

"Sometimes, if a person is in a position where she can't talk about something, she can work it out of herr system by writing about it. Maybe use the form of a letter. Write down everything you would tell him if you could. This isn't for me, it's for you. In fact, you can burn it later if you wish. But if you get these thoughts out and organized, sometimes you can move on."

Elizabeth looked thoughtful for a moment. "And I don't have to share this with anyone?"

"No, not even me. This is just an exercise to help you stop dwelling on something you cannot change."

"OK, I'll try." She stood up, eagerly. "Are we done for today?"

Kate smiled. "Yes, that's enough for today. I'll see you next week though, OK?"

"OK, next week," said Elizabeth, already moving toward the door. She stopped, though, and turned around. "Thanks, Kate. I know you're trying to help and I do appreciate it."

"I know," she said, as the expedition leader left her office. She hoped the little exercise she had given would help Elizabeth organize her thoughts, both for and against any relationship.

Meanwhile, the "boys" were trying to blow up the lab.

"Keep your hands to yourself, Colonel."

"But Rodney, I'm not that kind of guy," smirked Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, boldly grabbing a small sphere from Dr. McKay's workbench.

McKay snatched the ball back, pointing to a slightly glowing ancient character. "See this character? It means 'boom.'"

"It does not."

"It may as well, for all the care you take with these devices," said Rodney, putting the object back on the workbench with about six others. "Here, try this one. The writing suggests it might be some kind of instructional device."

John held an object the size of an Ipod and thought 'on.' The object began to glow, then a map of Atlantis appeared, or at least the part of Atlantis that was within 300 yards of the lab.

"Don't we have sensors that do this?"

"Yes, but they don't look like this. Hmmm. Walk around a bit."

John walked toward the hall and the map shifted, showing more area in front of him and less behind him.

"Wait a minute," said McKay. "It seems to always give you a 300 yard radius that moves as you do. This might come in handy when exploring the other parts of Atlantis."

"You still have parts of Atlantis to explore?" said Colonel Edward Sheppard, who had been watching John and Rodney with a mixture of wonder and amusement.

"Yeah," said John. "The city is huge. We estimate we've explored maybe 30 percent of it so far." John looked over at his father. "And some of the exploration has not been exactly risk free."

At his father's questioning look, John summarized the experience with the nanite virus.

"I think I read that report. You took up a nuclear device and detonated it over Atlantis. Was the jumper adequate protection?"

"Yes, it held up OK. I still had to ride out a shock wave, but the wave also knocked out the nanites." John put down the moving map and reached for something else.

"No, Colonel, we haven't checked those out, yet."

"Oh, come on, Rodney, what could something so little do?" said John, picking up a pen-shaped object. Suddenly a very fine light was emitted from one end and quickly burned a hole through the wall before John could turn it off.

"And there's your answer. We think that may have been part of their dentistry equipment, and I would be happy to share it with Dr. Dresden just before you go in for your next cleaning."

"That's ok, Rodney," said John, dropping the object on the workbench. "I think we're going to drop by the gym and see if Teyla is around. Don't forget to meet us at lunch," said John, over his shoulder, as he and his father left the lab.

"John, what do you do to make these things work?" asked his father, as they worked their way to the gym.

"That's just it, I don't know. I think about the device being on, and suddenly it is. If I don't have any idea of what it does, things can get dicey."

"Maybe it's OK that I don't have this gene."

"Don't let McKay hear you say that. He was tested three times and finally had gene therapy so he could work this stuff." John smirked. "I think he's still jealous."

The two arrived at the gym in time to watch Ronon and Teyla complete a round of stick fighting. The match was to a draw, and the two warriors stepped apart and noticed their audience.

"That's an interesting fighting method, Teyla. Is it traditional among your people?"

"Yes, Colonel Sheppard. I was taught by several teachers, and I, in turn, must pass it on to others. John and Ronon have been acceptable pupils," she finished, with a sly smile of her own.

"Oh, please. I'm getting closer to beating you every day."

"You notice 'closer' is not the same as victory, John."

"OK, OK. How about we show my father some of these moves," he said, moving to pick up a set of sticks.

For the next hour, Teyla and John demonstrated the moves to his father. After awhile, Edward took up the sticks and ran through a few drills with John.

"This is more difficult than I thought. You make it look easy, and graceful."

"Thank you, Colonel Sheppard. I would be happy to give you additional training while you are here, if you are interested."

"Thank you, Teyla, but I'm not sure I'll have time. I leave in two days."

"Which brings us to lunch."

At the non sequitur, Teyla, Ronon, and Edward looked at John as if he had grown another head.

"It does?" said Ronon.

"Yeah. I have an idea for an easy mission that we can take dad on. That is, if you want to go, sir."

Edward's eyes lit up, but then he looked concerned. "What about your leg?"

"Carson is coming with us along with extra marines. I was going to discuss it at lunch, so can you guys join us?" said John, looking to Ronon and Teyla.

Teyla glanced at Ronon and said, "Of course, John. We will meet you in the mess hall shortly."

"So, what's this mission you have in mind?" asked his father, as they made their way back to the mess hall.

"Well, there was this planet we visited that had an ancient outpost complete with a weapons chair and puddle jumpers. The people, however, had been split into a kind of royalty, those with the gene, and everyone else. As you might expect, those without the gene provided food, etc. in return for protection from the wraith. The problem was that some of the royalty were abusing their power, and the gene was becoming weak. We, uh, kind of straightened them out, and they have been trading with us since. In fact, they provided some drones for the Atlantis weapons chair as well as a few puddle jumpers."

By this time, the two were standing in line for lunch. After grabbing some turkey sandwiches and coffee, they found a large table where Rodney was already seated and enjoying an MRE. John sat down a certain distance away from McKay to protect his brownie.

"So what is this mission idea you have?" said Rodney, around a mouthful of tuna surprise.

John rolled his eyes at his dad who was trying not to laugh. "Let's wait for the others, OK?"

"OK," said the scientist, looking longingly at John's brownie.

John was just thinking he would have to defend his dessert with a fork when Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, and Carson showed up. As they settled down, Elizabeth looked over at John with one arched eyebrow.

"Carson tells me this mission you're suggesting is a walk in the park. Are you trying to jinx it from the beginning?"

"No, nothing like that. I just think we should visit the folks with the other weapons chair."

"You just want to check out that hot babe and see if she still wants to get into your genes."

"You're just jealous she goes for my natural assets, McKay."

"Oh, please, you're beginning to sound like a gigolo."

At that comment, Beckett snorted, Elizabeth choked and started coughing, and Teyla and Ronon just stared at each other, not understanding the reference. Edward Sheppard's eyebrows rose, and Rodney noticed.

"Didn't he tell you about his Captain Kirk tendency to go after every hot alien female?"

"Enough, McKay," said John, glaring at the scientist. "As I was saying, you may remember we used up their ZPM when McKay kicked in the star drive so we could stop them using the drones on the village. I got to thinking: we never took them a naquada generator, and they have no way to power the chair, now. So, we can go visit, take a generator, and come back, all in one day. How 'bout it?"

Rodney looked thoughtful. "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. It shouldn't take too long to hook a generator into the chair."

"Do you think they would trade the generator for another puddle jumper?" asked Elizabeth, looking more interested now that she knew what John had in mind.

"It's always possible," said John. "They can't use them, and they seemed to be OK with us taking three last time. I'd like to get some more drones, but they might want to hang on to those."

Teyla looked at Sheppard. "I think it would be wise to check on Eldred and his people." Ronon nodded in agreement.

"So it's settled, right?" said John, putting his hands on the table preparatory to getting up.

"Not so fast, Colonel," said Beckett. "How far is the gate from the settlement? Given your leg, we might want to take a jumper."

"Come on, doc. It isn't that far away. Besides, we might get a jumper to return in. And I'm fine."

"Right. Where have I heard that before?" said McKay, getting half of John's brownie before he noticed.

Beckett sighed and looked disgusted. "All right, but at the first sign of fatigue, you're coming back here."

"No problem, doc, since I don't plan to get tired." He turned to his father. "Let's get you some gear, and then you can read the mission report on our first visit."

"You have a target range, right?"

"Yeah, do you want to get in some practice?"

"Well, it has been a little while," said his father.

As the two men stood and picked up their trays, they nodded to the rest and headed out together, the eagerness obvious in both of them.

"I believe this is a case of 'like father, like son," said Teyla, watching as the two men walked away, almost in step with each other.

Carson rolled his eyes. "Let's hope not."

**TBC**

** Reviews are appreciated!  
**


	17. A Walk in the Park

**A/N: I don't own these characters. See previous chapters for full disclaimer. **

**A/N: I relied on transcripts for information on The Tower, so I may have got some things wrong. This is still slow due to other things, like life and papers. I had no idea it would be so long!  
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**----------------------------------------------------------------------  
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**Walk in the Park**

The Atlantis flagship team gathered in the gate room preparing for a trip to the planet that had previously provided them with extra jumpers and drones. As Colonel Edward Sheppard walked up to join the group, he found himself being assessed by his son, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. John was in full team leader mode, and the safety of his team, including his father, was now his main concern. John nodded as he joined the group.

"I see you have all your gear. I don't know if I mentioned it, but we do complete gear, including weapons, for every mission since there are still so many unknowns in this galaxy."

His father nodded. "Completely reasonable precautions. I hope you don't mind, but I brought my own hand gun."

John raised his eyebrows, but nodded. "Didn't know you had one with you. If it's a 9 mil, we have extra ammo. If not, you could be out soon."

"Yes, it's a 9 mil. I had it with me on my last six tours, and I've kind of gotten used to its weight and feel. I also have two extra clips."

"Fine," said John, turning to the eight Marines that were going with them. "Are you guys up for carrying the generator?"

"Yes, sir," said one, a sergeant that had come in recently on the _Daedalus_ and had only just been certified for offworld missions. His uniform had Rogers as his name.

"Thank you, Sergeant Rogers. We'll be switching off carrying it since it is around five klicks from the gate to the tower. Are the rest of your men ready?"

"Yes, sir," responded Rogers. His eagerness was obvious.

John narrowed his eyes and approached the sergeant. "I know this is your first mission, Rogers, so I want to remind you to listen to your men. They have some experience and can keep you from making mistakes."

"Yes, sir, you can depend on me, sir."

John nodded. "OK, stay alert." He then moved on to Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney. "OK, where's Beckett?"

"Here, Colonel," said the doctor, coming into the gate room at a brisk walk. He had a full pack of medical supplies with him, and he already had sweat around his hairline.

"Carson, are you sure you need all that equipment? It will get heavy," said John, eyeing the pack and calculating the weight if it were to be distributed among the other members of the team.

"I am kitted out for a walk in the park with you, Colonel.

"Right,' said John, rolling his eyes. He looked up to Elizabeth, standing on the balcony over the gate room. "Ready when you are."

"Fine, Colonel, you have a go. Dial the gate."

The chevrons began to spin around the large ring as the technicians entered the gate address. Five chevrons were locked in when John reached over to pull his father back a few steps.

"You really don't want to be in the path of the wormhole when it engages, sir," he said with a grin.

The older colonel, looking a little sheepish, looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Teyla was smiling encouragingly, but no one else seemed to care. "Got it," he said. "Can I count on you to keep me out of similar trouble?"

"Yep, I got your six, and my team will stick around as well."

"Thanks, son."

At that point the wormhole engaged.

"OK, move it out," said John, motioning to the marines to lead the way with the generator. To his father, he said, "Remember to keep moving on the other side."

The older colonel grinned and stepped through the gate eagerly. John looked up at Elizabeth and saw her smile and her "Be safe" before he, too stepped through the event horizon.

The planet was as they remembered it, heavily forested with the tower in the distance.

"OK, Teyla take point, Ronon, take our six. Marines, two men stay here by the gate, two on the generator, with a ten minute rotation. Let's go, people."

The generator was carried on a kind of palate with handles for a Marine on each side. The first two picked it up and headed off after Teyla with Rodney and the rest of the Marines following. Rodney walked along with John and his father.

"I bet he hasn't told you about his thing for ascended women."

"McKay?"

Edward Sheppard looked confused. "What is an ascended woman?"

"The ancients, as we call them, the folks who built Atlantis and the stargates, don't exactly die. Instead, they ascend to a higher plane of existence from which they watch what happens without stepping in to fix anything."

"And you've run into some of these people?" asked Edward Sheppard, looking at his son.

"Yeah, I got stuck in a time dilation field with a group that was trying to ascend. I was there for six months –"

"Actually, four hours –"

"To me it was six months of boredom in the form of meditation punctuated by short moments of total terror."

"Terror?" The older colonel's eyebrows reached his hairline.

"The village folks were being beset by a monster of some kind and they wouldn't fight it. In fact, I found the village by saving one of its people. In return, they put me up for six months."

"Four hours."

"McKay!"

"Anyway," continued Rodney, "One of these hoping-to-ascend people was, of course, a beautiful female who obviously had the hots for him."

"Right, so much so that she ascended right in front of me."

"Then, of course, there was Chaya, . . . "

"I think we've had enough of this conversation," stated John, firmly, as the village came into sight.

McKay nudged Edward and whispered, "I have some photos if you're interested, later."

John just glared at McKay as the group entered the village. They were welcomed, but not as warmly as previously, and Teyla couldn't help noticing there were far fewer people than before.

"Eldred, where are your people?" she asked, approaching their leader and fearing the answer.

"Unfortunately, the Lord Protector is no longer protecting us from the wraith. We have been culled twice in the last four months."

John looked concerned. "Well, we hope we can fix that situation. Teyla and Ronon, why don't you stay here with Carson and see what you can do for the villagers. The rest of us will head up to the tower."

"Do you wish a guide, Colonel Sheppard?"

"No, I think I remember the way. Let's go."

The group of nine, Rodney, John, his father, and the six Marines, headed into the woods and were soon approaching the entrance to the tower. Suddenly John's radio clicked.

"Wraith!" he heard, in Teyla's distinctive voice.

Just as she cleared the channel he heard another click. "Sir, we are seeing three bogies headed your way."

"Did they come through the gate, Sergeant?"

"Negative, they just swooped down from space."

Great, that meant a hive ship was in orbit.

"Sergeant, stay there and guard the gate. We may need to make a quick get away." He pointed to two Marines. "You two return to the village to help Ronon, Teyla, and Beckett. The rest of you, double time!"

The group made it to the tower door before they heard the distinctive whine of the wraith darts. John pushed open the door and they all ran into the throne room.

"McKay, get that generator hooked up. Marines, deploy around the door."

Edward Sheppard, entering behind the Marines carrying the generator, saw what he would consider faded opulence. Beyond a central chamber he could see what appeared to be a throne with several men working around it and arguing among themselves

McKay was already hurrying to the throne, muttering under his breath. "Walk in the park, he said. No problem, he said. Hah! The Sheppard luck strikes, and once again I have to pull off a miracle!" Already typing on his laptop to pull up the diagnostic programs, he motioned with his chin to indicate where the Marines should place the generator.

"Halt! Stand and declare yourselves!"

Everyone froze. A young, nervous guard stood only ten feet away from John, pointing a serious weapon at him. McKay and the Marines froze by the chair. The Marines by the door raised their weapons, but John motioned them down.

"Easy, soldier," said Sheppard, holding up his hands placatingly. "We're here to help, and to do that I need to get to the chair." John moved to approach the throne dais and the guard got in his way.

"None but those with the blood of the protectors can approach the throne."

"Well, I happen to have that, and it looks like you need it," said Sheppard, moving again carefully to the throne. Rodney had returned to pulling plates off the bottom of the chair and taking tools out of his pack. The men who had been milling about the chair earlier stared at Sheppard, not noticing the scientist at the foot of the dais.

"Tell them to back off!" said the guard, looking more and more agitated.

Rodney could be heard in the background yelling at the Marines. "Be careful with that. An accident would be a bad idea right now."

"Look, do you know Mara? Just get Mara. She can explain everything," said John, carefully, again approaching the chair.

Hearing Mara's name, another guard nearby quickly moved to the northern staircase and disappeared.

"Stop!" shouted the guard, and he fired his weapon at John.

John, not expecting a shot, spun from the impact on his shoulder.

Rodney jumped up, scattering his tools. "Don't shoot him, you fool, he's the only one who can really operate the chair."

The guard looked stunned. Edward Sheppard rushed over as his son collapsed. A Marine at the door used the guard's moment of inattention as an opportunity to subdue him without shots fired. He looked up from securing the guard's weapon to see John being helped to a seated position by his father and Rodney.

John took a breath with a hiss of pain. "I guess I should be thankful the kid missed at this distance. Of course, the kid also probably didn't mean to fire quite so soon. Dad, help me get to the chair. Rodney, finish the generator."

The men, who had been trying to get the chair to work, alternately sitting in the chair and arguing with each other, now turned on Rodney.

"What are you doing!"

"I'm fixing your throne, as you call it. It is really an ancient weapons chair, but I know you prefer the feudal point of view."

While Rodney worked, Edward Sheppard slapped a field dressing on the gunshot. "Looks like it might have broken your left collar bone."

"Feels like it," said his son through clenched teeth.

The men around the chair approached him.

"I remember you," said one. You fought with Otho who died by the poison on his own knife.

"That's right," replied John. "What happened here?"

"The last Lord Protector was unable to use the throne to turn away the wraith. There have been two wraith attacks with no defense, and the court has disbanded and gone into hiding. We remain to attempt to use the chair, but our blood is not strong enough."

"I don't think it's your blood but your lack of power, and we should be able to fix that."

John moved to sit in the chair just as his radio clicked again.

"Colonel, we have moved the villagers into the woods, but the wraith are landing. I think there is a hive ship present."

"Roger, Teyla, the guys at the gate say it wasn't activated, so we have a hive. Has everyone scattered?"

"Yes, that was the most we could do. They have no caves for protection."

"Acknowledged. Do what you can. We should have some defense soon. Sheppard out." Looking down at the scientist, he said, "McKay, now would be a good time."

"Hold your -- Ah!"

On that last note, the chair lit up under John and reclined automatically. John closed his eyes, making contact with the chair and checking on the drones.

"Looks like we have plenty of drones. Is that your info. McKay?"

"Yes, yes, plenty of drones," said Rodney, typing again and reviewing data generated by the chair. "It looks like these are in silos as well, so keep that in mind if you have trouble launching any."

With that, John concentrated, and the men of the tower could see the drones rise up and begin to arc toward the sky. Their faces were wreathed in smiles of relief that the protection of the planet was now assured.

Edward Sheppard, witnessing his son use his gene to harness the power of the ancients, moved toward the door so he could see the outside effects of the weapons. As he watched, one drone took out a wraith dart that was approaching the tower entrance. Most of the drones, however, were aiming at a point above the atmosphere and invisible from the planet.

A noise behind him caused him to whirl around in time to see a beautiful blonde woman, dressed in a style reminiscent of the Middle Ages, hurrying down the stairs toward the throne room. She stopped as she saw John Sheppard in the throne chair. Glancing at the windows, she, too, looked relieved to see the weapons fly. She approached the throne and stood with the others from her city, watching in appreciation while her people were saved.

After about twenty minutes, John slowly raised the chair. "The hive is destroyed as well as the darts that had launched," he said, moving carefully to a fully upright position.

Rodney checked his data again and smiled. "Yes. There is still enough energy in the generator to power the chair for ten more attacks comparable to this. If it takes the wraith that long to figure out the planet is protected, they should be destroyed for stupidity if for no other reason."

John looked toward his father but was caught by the sight of Mara. Seeing her, he smiled and moved to stand, but swayed before he remembered his injury.

"Mara, I'm glad you're here," he said, leaning on the chair as his head cleared. At her look of concern, he added, "We were trying to explain to the guards that we just wanted to help, but one took exception to our offer. He's over there," he concluded, indicating the bound guard who was just regaining consciousness.

"Let me send for a healer."

"Thanks, Mara, but that won't be necessary. We brought our own healer with us, and I can get treatment from him in just a little while. Rodney, is there anything they need to know about the generator?"

"Just leave it alone. If you do, you should probably be able to use it for another ten or twelve attacks. The chair will operate just like it did before when someone with the gene, uh, blood sits down in it."

"But that is the problem. We have no one with the blood left to control the throne," said Mara, twisting her hands.

"No, Mara, we think the chair wouldn't work because there was no power connected to it. Look," continued John, "Why don't you get a couple of the folks you thought had the blood and try it again."

Mara didn't look convinced, but she indicated to the men who had stayed that they should try again. As one sat in the chair, it glowed faintly. Sighs of appreciation were heard, and the one seated concentrated.

"Yes," he said, "I can now feel the power of the throne."

Mara smiled at Sheppard but there was some speculation in her gaze. "Thank you for restoring the throne to us. Our people are safe, now." She paused and approached John, placing a hand on his arm and looking at him longingly. "But to truly protect us, we need the blood of the ancestors renewed for us. Please, John Sheppard, give me your child."

McKay, who was packing up his gear, shook his head in disgust. "What IS it with you, Kirk?"

John's father choked on a laugh.

John, having heard a similar request not long ago, took Mara's hand off his arm, with a strange expression on his face, a mixture of determination and disgust. "I told you last time, Mara, I am not willing to do this."

"But why?" she pleaded. "I did not think you found me unworthy or lacking."

"No, that's not it. It's just," and John paused, wondering how to explain this to a woman of her culture. "I would not want a child of mine raised here without me. . ."

"But you could—"

"No, Mara, I could not move here. I am needed on At--, uh, at home. Now, I was wondering if we could trade for the generator."

Mara was looking at the floor, a frown on her face, but she looked up at his last words. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we brought you a generator to power the chair. We were hoping you would allow us to take another jumper, one of the ships downstairs, in trade for it."

"You may have the jumper, as you call it, in exchange for the generator . . . and your seed."

John, in pain and exasperated, shook his head. "No, I am not going to father a child that will never know me. Rodney, unhook the generator."

McKay, who had followed this conversation with fascination, now looked at John in confusion. "Disconnect it? I thought we came here to let them have it."

"Yes, but remember Elizabeth said in exchange for a jumper. Since that is not forthcoming, we need to pack it up and get out of here."

"Wait," said Mara, a defeated look on her face. "We will allow you to have the jumper. But I ask you to please reconsider. We need the blood of the ancestors to protect our people. Surely you could spare one child to such a cause."

John paused again, noticing that his father had a shocked look on his face. Yeah, that was going to be an interesting conversation. "Mara, I will think on this, and I will speak to our healer. But I make no promises."

"I understand." She looked around, seeming to notice the shabbiness of the hall for the first time. "I am sorry we cannot entertain you as we did during your first visit, but things have become difficult. Perhaps with the throne restored we shall be able gather the court again."

"Perhaps," said John, just to say something. "Now, we need to get our people back home. Could I go to the ship, now, and prepare it for transport?"

"Of course. Do you remember the way?"

"Yes. Rodney, you're with me. Dad, Marines, head back toward the gate to rendezvous with Teyla, Ronon, Beckett and the other Marines. We'll meet you in the meadow in front of the gate." John keyed his mike at that point. "Teyla, this is Sheppard."

"Yes, Colonel."

"Is everything OK there?"

"Yes, the villagers were grateful to see the lights rise from the tower once again."

"Uh, great. Look, gather everyone and head on back to the gate. We've got the jumper and we'll all meet there."

"Yes, Colonel, Teyla out."

"Sheppard out," said John, finally looking back to everyone. "Rodney, you ready?"

"Yeah, but I can't carry my stuff and your stuff, too," he said,

John snorted and shook his head. "Didn't ask you to, McKay." Using his right hand, he gingerly picked up his gear that he had taken off when his shoulder was treated. He stuffed his left hand in his pocket to keep stress off of his shoulder. "We'll see you guys at the gate."

"You sure you're OK to fly?" asked Edward Sheppard, who knew his son's tendency to downplay his injuries.

"Yeah, I'm good. The jumper really just needs my mind. Besides, McKay is a backup pilot." With a nod, he and Rodney headed to the tower's jumper bay.

Edward Sheppard looked at the Marines, realizing, just then, that John had left him in command.

"Are we ready, sir?" said a corporal.

"Yes, corporal. Will you take point?"

"Aye, sir."

"Good, let's move out." And with that, the small group of Marines, led by a retired colonel, left for the gate, leaving behind the remnants of a feudal society and a thwarted woman.

**TBC**

**Reviews appreciated!**


	18. Briefing Interlude

**A/N: Standard disclaimer; see previous chapters.**

**A/N: This is a short chapter to deal with the policy. For those interested, the Air Force policy on Fraternization is on the Internet and does specify civilian employees and contractors. I have rewritten some sections. Though I do write policies, I've never written a military policy, so errors are involved. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!  
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**Briefing Interlude**

"Excellent. You've gained another pound."

The nurse in the infirmary was smiling as she recorded the weight measurement. Dr. Elizabeth Weir, though glad to have gained the weight, was still a little embarrassed by the fuss made over every pound.

"So, I get my laptop, right?" she said as she stepped off the scale.

"Dr. Beckett warned me that you would be looking for this," said the nurse, pulling Elizabeth's laptop computer from a storage bin. "He said to remind you that half days are four hours, not eight. And you are to eat three complete meals and be in bed by 11 PM."

Elizabeth shook her head in frustration. "I didn't have this many rules when I was in boarding school!"

The nurse looked stern and as if she were going to make another comment, but Elizabeth held up her hand. "I know, I know. And I scheduled an appointment with Kate this afternoon so I wouldn't be too tempted."

The nurse closed her mouth and nodded. As Elizabeth turned to go, however, she placed her hand on her sleeve, detaining her. "Please keep in mind that you gave us quite a scare. Carson has been kicking himself all week. You are truly helping Atlantis when you take care of yourself."

Elizabeth swallowed convulsively, nodded, and ducked her head as she left, feeling a little ashamed of herself.

Moving quickly to her office over the control room, she smiled and nodded at everyone, noticing that they seemed truly glad to have her back. As she settled in behind her desk with a fresh cup of coffee, she noticed someone had left a muffin, with a note, next to a coaster. Opening it, she read "_Every little bit helps. – John_." Smiling at his thoughtfulness, she took a quick bite, finding it was banana nut, one of her favorites. She took a sip of coffee, some hazelnut from John's stash of treats, and opened her laptop.

By her reckoning, she was a week behind on Atlantis reports, and she still had to review the new material that arrived through the transmission from Earth. She quickly checked her email, downloading those reports she needed to see, then checked the network for the shared files on the server. Deciding to get the Atlantis material out of the way, she settled back to read.

Two hours later, Dr. Weir looked up and stretched. She was fortunate that she had been keeping up with the paperwork before her collapse. Reading the reports of the last week didn't take too long. Keeping Dr. Beckett's concerns in mind, she decided to take a break for a snack before attacking the reports from Stargate Command.

Making her way to the mess hall, she picked up a piece of fruit and got a coffee refill before heading back to her office. As she settled back into her chair, she pulled up the SGC report of the wraith battle. It coincided with what had been discussed at the group debriefing but was not nearly so entertaining. She also read, with increasing interest, the true extent of John's injuries. She shook her head with a wry smile. That man would never be open and honest about the state of his health.

After skimming a few more reports and memoranda, she came upon a policy update:

**Air Force Instruction 36-2909A**

**Special Fraternization Policy for Atlantis Mission**

**TOP SECRET**

Fraternization policy? She was not aware that this policy was under review. In fact, the Department of Defense had spent some effort in bringing the policies of the various armed services into some form of consistency. To create a specialized policy seemed to go against that effort.

**_The rules of fraternization as described in AFI 36-2909 have been applied to the Atlantis expedition as an extension of the United States Air Force. Now that the expedition is in its third year with more contact with Earth, this policy has been reviewed and altered to reflect the unique nature of the expedition. Professional and non-professional relationships on Atlantis are governed by this policy._****_Unprofessional relationships are those interpersonal relationships that erode good order, discipline, respect for authority, unit cohesion and, ultimately, mission accomplishment. It is the responsibility of commanders and supervisors at all levels to ensure compliance with this instruction._**

_**This document has been substantially revised and must be completely reviewed.**_

Elizabeth Weir was astonished. The idea of the US military actually taking context into account was amazing. She quickly began reviewing the provisions. The prohibition against relationships between enlisted men and officers was still in place but with a twist.

_**Because the military contingent is organized into teams on Atlantis, commanders are given the option of acting on nonprofessional relationships by moving one individual to another team. In this way, the chain of command is preserved as is discipline. If commanders choose to exercise this option, care must be taken to preserve unit cohesion.**_

She thought about that for awhile and it appeared to make sense. She made a note, however, to ask John his opinion. This provision could affect Teyla and Ronon, though, technically, neither were subject to the rules of the Air Force.

**_3.2. Relationships with Civilian Employees and Government Contractor Personnel. Civilian employees and contractor personnel are an integral part of the Air Force and the Atlantis mission. They contribute directly to readiness and mission accomplishment. Consequently, military members of all grades must maintain professional relationships with civilian employees and government contractor personnel, particularly those whom they supervise or direct, and must avoid relationships that adversely affect or reasonably can adversely affect morale, discipline and respect for authority or that violate law or regulation._**

This was the paragraph that had always given her trouble. Was it possible they changed it?

_**Given the scientific and exploratory missions of Atlantis, the civilian population of scientists, diplomats, and service personnel are critical to the missions' success. Given the long periods of deployment, some allowance must be made for more personal relationships. Therefore, in this context, relationships across the service classifications of personnel are permitted provided they do not adversely affect morale, discipline and respect for authority. Relationships between military and civilians are subject to these same rulings. Commanders are encouraged to deal with infractions as creatively as possible.**_

"Creatively?" The military? Elizabeth kept reading.

_**Civilian units are also subject to the Air Force Sexual Harassment Policy.**_

Well, that made sense since the civilians were not military. Sexual harassment was still a difficult rule to adjudicate, but it was more appropriate for the civilians than the unaltered Air Force policy.

**_3.9 Special consideration for leadership of the mission. The definitions and policies expressed here apply to the leadership of the mission and any non-professional relationships that may develop. Attention should be paid to any relationship that adversely affects morale, discipline, unit cohesion, respect for authority, or mission accomplishment. Leaders are particularly warned to remain circumspect in their interactions with subordinates and to guard against any adverse effects of such a relationship._**

What? Elizabeth reread that paragraph. If she was right, then she could have a relationship with anyone on base as long as it didn't adversely affect the mission. Could that be right?

After reading the entire policy again from the beginning, Dr. Elizabeth Weir leaned back in her chair and reflected on what would happen once it was distributed to the personnel of the city. Some would find the policy much easier to follow. She would need to work out a procedure for any relationship that caused problems, a creative procedure, she thought with a smile.

Finally, leaning back to her laptop, she brought up her email and sent the policy to all personnel as an attachment. Having spent two more hours on this material, she closed her laptop, albeit unwillingly. Heading off to the mess hall for lunch, followed by her afternoon session with Kate, she decided she was looking forward to Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard's return more than usual.

**TBC **

**Please review! Thanks! **


	19. A Run Through a Mine Field

**A/N: Standard disclaimer. See first chapter. **

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**A Run through a Mine Field**

John and Rodney were approaching the jumper bay when John became aware of someone approaching them from the side.

"Rodney, don't panic. We're being followed."

McKay jumped and started to look around when John pushed him from the side.

"Don't look!" John murmured. "Just take some of my stuff as if it's too heavy for me. I need to free up my gun hand."

"Great, now you want me to carry it. I knew you saw me as nothing more than a glorified pack mule," groused McKay, taking John's pack, but looking a little white around the eyes.

John looked at Rodney in appreciation. He could be quick when he needed him to be. "Come on, it's not that far. After all, it's not like you're carrying all that much," he said, removing his handgun from his thigh holster.

"I'll have you know that I'm carrying valuable and delicate instruments used in scientific inquiry."

"Oh puleeze, McKay. Scientific inquiry? You have five power bars and a nail clipper in your vest."

"How'd you know that --?" started McKay, only to be interrupted as Sheppard pushed him to the ground and fired over his shoulder. A yelp from a side passage indicated he had hit his mark.

"Run, Rodney," said Sheppard, sprinting past him as fast as his shoulder would allow.

The guards that had been sent by Mara were slow to realize their prey had gotten away, and even slower to risk John's aim. The two got to the jumpers and were able to get into the closest one before another attempt was made to detain them.

"You need to watch it with the scorned women, Colonel," said McKay as they closed the hatch. He looked over at John who was leaning against the side of the jumper, his face pale with the effort to run with a broken collar bone. "Want me to pilot?"

John looked over at McKay who, for once, was serious. "Yeah," he said, with a hiss as the bone shifted again. "I can't be sure I'll stay conscious. Do you remember how to get out of here?"

"Yeah, and I even remember how we rigged their version of the skylight exit."

McKay sat down at the jumper controls while John slouched back in the co-pilot's seat, easing his left hand back into his pocket to take pressure off the bone. Soon, the jumper came to life and Rodney was easing it out the overhead door.

They headed back toward the gate to set the jumper down in the meadow when John suddenly jerked upright. With a grimace, he asked, "Did you see that? It looked like gunfire."

"Where?" said McKay, looking around for signs of gunfire. The jumper lurched with his inattention, and John hissed again as he caught himself to keep from falling out of the seat.

"Easy, Rodney. Just get us down. Everyone is on their way back to the gate, so we should be able to tell what's going on when we get there."

Quickly, now, McKay approached the gate and landed the jumper. John, who had feared another jolt to his shoulder, had to admit that the scientist's landings were getting better.

John popped the back hatch as McKay disconnected from the controls. "See, Colonel, some of us –"

"Quiet, McKay, and cloak the jumper. Something isn't right."

As if hearing his words, the woods to the right of the jumper once again erupted in automatic weapons fire. John grabbed his P-90 and was out of the jumper on his way to the scene as the two Marines guarding the gate ran up.

"Was that gunfire, sir?"

"Yes, and it is not a good sign. Fall in," said John, without breaking stride. His shoulder was throbbing again, but adrenaline masked the pain, enabling him to maintain a fairly quick pace.

The trail to the gate led through the thick woodland of the planet and through a small boulder field at the foot of a tall hill. As John rounded the first boulder, he could see his father and the Marines attempting to hold off three wraith. One soldier wraith was down while another was feeding on a Marine. The other Marines appeared unconscious. Edward Sheppard was in the grip of one of the wraith that appeared to be the leader. The colonel's face was white and he appeared in shock as the wraith reached for his shirt.

"NO," screamed John, running even faster. As he ran, though, he realized he didn't have a shot. Without his left arm, he couldn't aim carefully enough to avoid hitting his father. Finally, just as the wraith pulled back his hand, John rammed him with his right shoulder, breaking the wraith's hold and causing both to fall.

Though John rolled with the fall, preparing to regain his footing, the move hit his shoulder again. The stab of pain caused his vision to gray and disrupted his roll, giving the wraith time to recover, grab hold of him and throw him against one of the rocks littering the area. There was an explosion of pain as his shoulder hit the rock. He didn't feel his ribs take the brunt of the hit before his head was snapped back and he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Was that gunfire?" asked Beckett, as Ronon, Teyla, and the other Marines took off in the direction of the gate trail. They got to the clearing just in time to see Edward Sheppard walk up to the wraith headed toward John and shoot him in the head with his 9 mil. The wraith's head exploded, and the body dropped to the ground lifeless. Ronon quickly took aim at the other wraith soldier and killed him with one blast. It was too late, however, for the Marine on which he had been feeding.

By this time, Beckett had reached the clearing and was headed to the downed Marines, not seeing the unconscious colonel. Edward Sheppard looked down at the wraith carcass and tried to still his breathing. "I thought they were all gone," he said, looking up dazedly at Teyla.

"The wraith beam down soldiers to capture humans to make culling easier. These had probably already beamed down before the darts were destroyed," she said, walking over to place a hand on the shaken man's arm. "They would have activated homing beacons to have another hive ship come pick them up. By killing them, the planet does not have to worry about a return visit too soon."

Edward Sheppard nodded, then turned toward his son. "Oh my God," he murmured, running over to John where he lay at the foot of the rock. As he approached, he realized that there was a bright red patch on his shoulder, growing larger quite rapidly.

"He's hemorrhaging. Is Dr. Beckett –"

Beckett was assessing one of the Marines who had been thrown against a tree. Hearing the word hemorrhage, he rushed over. Edward Sheppard backed away to give him room.

"Oh bloody hell," he said, taking one look at the widening blood stain and reaching for the pressure point. "He's bleeding out from his subclavian artery."

The doctor immediately applied pressure to the accepted pressure point, but quickly realized that this was difficult with a broken collar bone.

"We have to get him back to Atlantis, now! I need two Marines to go back to the jumper for the stretchers and a body bag. Teyla, can you check the other Marines?"

Teyla, who had been increasing her skills as a field medic, nodded her agreement as she went to the first man and assessed his condition. Finding him unconscious but with normal breathing and no bleeding, she quickly moved to the second Marine who was beginning to regain consciousness.

"Oh, my head, . . ."

"Lie still, corporal, and let me check you over." The man met her eyes and nodded his assent, then responded as she asked questions about his status. Finding him sore but functional, she helped him to his feet and continued to the last of the men who had been with the older Colonel Sheppard. She stepped around the dried husk and moved to the man leaning against a tree, beginning to groan.

"I can't move my leg," he said, almost whimpering in panic.

"Relax, sergeant, and let me look at it." As she suspected, it was broken, and she looked up to call for some assistance when she found Sergeant Rogers at her shoulder.

"I have medic training, ma'am. I can splint that leg so you can get back to George over there."

Teyla nodded her thanks and moved back to the first Marine only to find John's father already there.

"I think he's coming around. I haven't found any wounds or broken bones, so he was probably knocked out." The man kept tending to the Marine, studiously avoiding looking at Beckett fighting for John's life.

Teyla looked at the colonel and realized he was barely holding it together.

"Colonel, should you not be helping Dr. Beckett with John?"

"I've been in plenty of combat situations, Teyla, and I've seen lots of men, some friends, die. But, it's never been, uh, so, uh, --"

"Personal?"

"Yeah," he finished, sweat now obvious on his forehead.

Teyla was beginning to worry the older man could be going into shock, but as she watched him she began to see something else.

"Teyla, I need some help here," said Beckett, motioning her over.

Teyla nodded and looked back at the colonel.

"Give me something to do," he pleaded.

"Dr. Beckett will want to leave as soon as John is on board. If everything else were on board and stowed, it would speed up our departure." She stood up, then, and moved quickly to where Beckett was trying to dig in his medical bag with one hand.

"I'm afraid he's lost too much blood so I want to start an IV. Can you put your hand here and apply pressure?"

Ronon stepped forward. "I'll do it. I know field medicine."

Beckett looked up at the Satedan, remembering his years on the run. "I'm sure you do. On the count of three, one, two, three."

Beckett removed his hand and Ronon slipped in quickly, pressing the artery against the bone to curb the bleeding. It seemed to work since little blood escaped.

"Now, Teyla, I need ya ta hold this bag of saline while I get an IV started."

Teyla took the bag while Beckett swabbed John's arm and prepared to insert the needle. "I hope your veins are still open," he whispered as he eased the needle in. Luck was with him as he hit a vein first time. Setting the apparatus, he opened up the valve and watched as the fluid began to drip regularly into John's arm.

With the IV taken care of, Beckett did a quick scan of John's other wounds. The bullet wound would be taken care of with the same surgery as the artery. He was also concerned with a large lump on the back of John's head and the fact that he hadn't regained consciousness.

As he completed his examination, the Marines sent back to the jumper arrived with the stretchers and the body bag along with a panicking Dr. McKay.

"Is everyone OK? G.I Joe took off and I wasn't sure where he went. Oh," finished McKay as he realized the blood covering Beckett was John's. "What happened? Can't Mara take a hint?"

The two Marines were helping Beckett ease John out flat prior to moving him to the stretcher while Teyla held the IV and Ronon kept a firm grip on the pressure point.

Edward Sheppard motioned to the other two Marines. "Let's pack this up. We need to get Smith on a stretcher with that leg. Two of us can carry that while two carry the body bag."

The men snapped to it, glad to have some direction. While one Marine gently loaded their comrade into the body bag, one more helped Rogers load Smith onto a stretcher.

"Careful of that leg," said Rogers, picking up the man's pack. The last Marine had regained consciousness, and the colonel carefully helped him to his feet. Everyone appeared to be good to go, so the group started off slowly toward the jumper, the two dazed Marines carrying the gear and leading the way.

After Beckett guided the last two Marines in moving John to the stretcher, he took over the pressure from Ronon without breaking the hold on the artery. As they prepared to pick him up, Ronon stepped over and took one end of the stretcher.

"OK, easy does it, gentlemen. Let's get him loaded."

Slowly, the sad little band made its way to the jumper. Rodneystragely quiet, led the way followed by one Marine at the head of the stretcher and Ronon at the foot. Teyla walked along side holding the IV bag, and Beckett moved awkwardly, trying to keep his hand in place. The last Marine kept a much closer eye on the woods as they went through.

Noticing the scientist's lack of chatter, Beckett commented, "Rodney, I hope you realize you are going to have to get us home."

"I'm well aware of that, Carson. In fact, my fondest wish has been to act as ambulance driver on a mission." The scientist was mentally running through the checklist John had taught him for preparation for taking off. Beckett smiled, knowing the caustic commentary was just his way of dealing with the stress.

The rest of the team was loaded by the time the party carrying John reached the jumper. They had stowed as much gear as possible, and a large space had been left on the floor for the two stretchers.

"Careful, then," said Beckett as he awkwardly entered the jumper, still keeping his hand in place.

The second stretcher was lifted in beside John, and the body bag was laid to one side. Many of the team stood, holding on to the rigging so Teyla and Beckett had more room to maneuver.

Rodney accomplished a smooth take off, and Ronon moved forward to enter his IDC for the gate.

"Atlantis, Ronon. Requesting medical assistance be available."

"Always to the point," thought Beckett.

The jumper materialized in the gate room and rose into the jumper bay, as a doctor, two orderlies, and a gurney were rushing forward, Elizabeth right behind them.

"This will be easier if the rest of ye get out first," said Beckett, motioning the rest of the team out. They left, but most still hovered in the bay to be there for their military commander.

Beckett then turned to his medical team.

"Easy, lads. We can't release the pressure until I get a chance to get some more blood in him. Take him straight to surgery," he finished.

He released the pressure point as soon as he was sure the doctor would take over quickly. Teyla handed over the IV, and the medical crew took off at a quick pace, radioing ahead for the facilities they would need.

Elizabeth watched in horror as the team hurried John away, then turned to Beckett. "What happened? It was supposed to be an easy mission."

"Wraith," said Ronon, succinctly.

After radioing for another gurney for the Marine with the broken leg, Beckett turned to Sheppard's team. Motioning Elizabeth over, he ran his hand over his face before beginning. "He was bleeding out of the subclavian artery, so he's going straight into surgery and won't be out for some time. So go get cleaned up and grab some food. We'll do your post-mission checks once you get to the infirmary."

"Carson, you should know he was shot in that shoulder," said Rodney.

Carson let his breath out with a whoosh. "And why am I only just learning about this now, Rodney?"

"Well, we didn't really have a chance to tell you. It's not like we were just taking a stroll in a park."

"Aye, that's the truth. More like a run in a bloody mine field." And with that, Carson Beckett jogged to the infirmary after his most difficult patient.

John's team, along with Edward Sheppard and Elizabeth Weir, just stood there for a moment. The second medical team came for the injured Marine, and took him to the infirmary. Finally, the Marines began to move, four of them taking the body bag containing their comrade to the morgue. Teyla looked over at John's father and recognized delayed shock setting in.

"Colonel Sheppard, you need to rest and eat. John will be fine. Dr. Beckett has always provided the best care for all of us, and I think he finds John something of a challenge," said Teyla, smiling wanly. "We usually wait in the infirmary for news, but Dr. Beckett has already said it will be some time." Taking his P-90, she finished, "Why don't you join us for some food in half an hour? Then we can all go and wait for John."

Edward Sheppard, his eyes glazed and his limbs trembling, just nodded and started toward the quarters John had found for him.

"Dr. Weir, if you join us, we will be able to give you some information on the mission."

Elizabeth nodded, still in shock that a simple mission had once again put John at death's door. Seeing Edward stumble slightly, she hurried after him to make sure he made it to his quarters.

TBC

Reviews appreciated!


	20. Deja Vu

**A/N: The usual disclaimer. See first chapter.**

**A/N: Just to let you know, I picture Terry O'Quinn as John's father. Not as he appears in Lost. More as he appeared in JAG.**

** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ****  
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**Deja Vu**

Dr. Elizabeth Weir sat in the mess hall, almost deserted between in this between meals time, stirring a cup of coffee and staring off into space. It had happened again. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had ended up in the infirmary fighting for his life, and she, she was once again left waiting and hoping. She closed her eyes, resting her head on her hand, letting out a shuddering breath. She knew this was part of the situation on Atlantis. She accepted it as part of the job. She knew she would have to send teams out into situations that could end up in their injury or death. But why was it always him?

Edward Sheppard studied the expedition leader from the entrance to the seating area. Once again, he wondered at the relationship between this woman and his son. Hearing someone coming up behind him, he quickly moved into the room, coughing as he approached Dr. Weir.

Elizabeth looked up quickly, rearranging her features, to find Edward Sheppard approaching the table she had staked out, with Teyla and Ronon close behind him.

"Are we the first back?" asked Teyla, sitting on one side of Elizabeth with Ronon across from her.

"Yes, I just came straight here since I didn't have to clean up. Get yourselves something to eat."

Ronon headed off immediately to the chow line, but Teyla hesitated. "May I get you something?"

"No, I'm fine."

Teyla leaned down and spoke softly. "Elizabeth, let me get you something. I do not want to see you suffering needlessly again."

Elizabeth grimaced and smiled sheepishly up at Teyla. "You're right, Teyla. Just bring me a muffin or a piece of fruit."

The Athosian left and Elizabeth looked up to see Edward Sheppard still standing next to her, hands in his pockets, looking somewhat unsure of himself.

"Please sit down," she said, scooting over a little to give him more room. "Did you want something to eat?"

John's father sat down with his hands in his lap, shaking his head. "I never could eat right after a mission. I'll be hungry in a few hours."

Elizabeth nodded, knowing too well how stress could reduce an appetite.

Teyla and Ronon returned with Rodney right behind them. All had trays, with Ronon's piled with several meals-worth and Rodney's a close second. Teyla had a sandwich with some fruit and muffin that she handed to Elizabeth. Elizabeth smiled as she took the food, but just put it down next to her untouched coffee.

"So, why don't you tell me what happened? You said the wraith showed up?"

"Yeah," said Rodney, around a mouthful of some kind of casserole. "Since they didn't have the chair, the wraith have evidently put them back on their speed dial."

"The villagers told us they had been culled twice in the last four months. The Lord Protector had been unable to use the chair to defend them," said Teyla. "They showed up again while we were there."

"But I got the chair going and we kicked their butt. They had even sent a hive, but it's gone now."

"Then how did John get shot?"

Edward stepped in, realizing the story was getting told piecemeal, and put together a pretty coherent account of the visit with the people of the Tower.

"So the shot was an accident?"

"Yeah, but Sheppard has got to watch out how he leaves his women. They tried to ambush us on the way to the jumper."

Edward looked up at that. "This gene is that important to them?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Yes, it is the only thing that allows a person to use the ancient technology. The technology is scattered over this galaxy, and everyone wants to use it, especially since the wraith began attacking."

Teyla continued with what she, Ronon, and Dr. Beckett had accomplished in the village then Edward recounted the attack on the way back to the gate.

"… and John ran at the wraith attacking me, blocking him with his right shoulder and shoving him away. I wouldn't be here if he had not been able to do that," finished Edward, his eyes on the table where he was making circles with a water glass.

"That must have happened just before we got there. I think you dealt with the wraith quite well, said Teyla.

"You blew his head off," said Ronon, startling Elizabeth. "What did you shoot it with? I've never seen an Earth weapon do that."

Edward looked a little uncomfortable and rubbed his neck in a manner reminiscent of John. "Well, I was using hollow-point bullets. Technically, the military doesn't use them. In fact, they are banned from warfare on Earth. I looked at your ordnance, and it's armor piercing ammunition. Now that I've seen a wraith, I understand the choice. Hollow-points are for making sure something is dead. On Earth, they are often used in hunting. The bullet expands upon impact, leaving an exit wound several times bigger than the entry wound. I thought that hollow-points would make more sense in a handgun, which is usually good at short range only, with the armor piercing in the P-90. Guess I got lucky."

Ronon grunted, making a note to check out the availability of such ammunition. The sight of the exploding wraith head was immensely satisfying.

"Anyway," continued Teyla, "We tended to the wounded and came back in the jumper."

"Ably piloted by yours truly, I'll have you know," contributed Rodney, eying the muffin that Elizabeth had still not eaten.

"Well, I guess that explains it. A full report can wait another few days." Elizabeth looked at her watch. "We've given them almost two hours, so I think we can check in, now."

Ronon grabbed Teyla's and Rodney's trays, and reached for Elizabeth's cup, his eyebrows raised in question. She nodded, grabbing the fruit, and he headed off to dispose of their trash, meeting the group at the door. It was a quick trip to the infirmary since all were anxious. They entered the de facto waiting area to find no one around. Gradually, they migrated to their usual places: Elizabeth seated next to Teyla, Ronon standing against the wall next to the entrance, and Rodney seated in a chair, working on his laptop. Edward looked at them all and realized this was a familiar occurrence to them. Sighing for his injury-prone son, but thankful he had such friends, the older colonel chose to pace.

They had been in the area for another two hours when Dr. Beckett emerged from the surgical area, removing his head covering, and using it to wipe his face. Everyone stood up and looked at him with the usual mix of hope and fear.

"Well, he's in recovery and it looks like he'll make it."

There was a general round of exhalations as everyone took a deep breath for the first time since they'd seen the doctor.

"That's not to say he's completely out of the woods. Things got dicey in surgery. We went through five pints of blood, and I was afraid we lost him at one point." It had taken three shocks to get him back, but Carson didn't think they needed to know that. "The bullet wound and the broken clavicle were complicated but not difficult. The subclavian artery, however, comes right off the aorta and is somewhat large. Resectioning it was what took so long."

Beckett took a minute to sit down before he continued. "I'm most worried, however, about the head injury. He never regained consciousness before we had to give him anesthesia, so I don't have any idea what the damage is. We'll be watching that carefully."

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "But he will be alright, right?"

"At this point, I can't be sure until he wakes up. And since he didn't wake up before surgery, I can't be sure when he will. The anesthesia will wear off in a couple of hours. After that, we'll have to see." He looked at the five sober faces. "I suspect ye'll be wanting to see him."

"Yes, please, Carson," said Teyla. The rest nodded.

Carson sighed. It was always the same with this team, but he suspected it was one of the reasons John healed so quickly.

"Alright. Give the nurses some time to clean him up. I'll come get you when he's ready." And with that, Dr. Beckett, miracle worker of the best kind, headed back to the intensive care unit to check on his popular patient.

The sight that met their eyes when they were finally allowed in was too familiar. John lay on the bed connected to a heart monitor, an EEG, a ventilator, and an IV. In some ways the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor was comforting to Elizabeth. It meant that in spite of his pallor, he was still with them. His arm was bent up to his chest and immobilized.

"OK, now ye've all seen him, it's time to go get some rest yerselves." Beckett's brogue always seemed to intensify in times of stress.

"Come on, Carson, you know we'll just hang around," said Rodney, pulling up a nearby chair and settling in with his laptop.

Carson sighed. "Aye, I know. Same rules, though. Just one at a time, and all of ye make sure ye get some sleep."

Ronon nudged McKay. "I'll be back in four."

McKay just grunted, already deep in some research he was having trouble with.

Elizabeth nodded at Carson, taking one more look at John's face, pale against his dark hair. She turned and led the others out of the ICU.

As Ronon and Teyla headed off in the direction of the gym, Elizabeth turned to Edward and explained how the team watched over John. "I usually take the late watch. If you would like, you can join me."

The older man nodded, appearing stunned, and walked back toward his quarters. Elizabeth was a little curious, wondering why a military man would be so disturbed by the trappings of an infirmary. Shaking her head, she returned to her interrupted report reading.

Four hours later, she looked up to find Carson at her door.

"Don't think I've forgotten you. I hope you haven't been here all day without eating."

Elizabeth quickly pulled out the fruit core. "Yes, Carson, I've been eating."

Carson made a moue. "If that's all, I'm glad I came by. Log off, now, it's time for dinner."

"Carson, I have to catch up with this paper work. . ."

". . .Which will still be there in the morning." Looking her in the eye, he said softly, "And ye're no good to him if you're too exhausted and famished. Please, just come to dinner."

Elizabeth sighed. Since when was everyone so concerned with her eating habits!?

As she shut her laptop, Carson spoke again. "Aye, I know you think I'm being too concerned. But Dr. Weir, Elizabeth, you didn't see the shell of a leader that I saw last week. I'll not have that happen again on my watch."

Elizabeth nodded, giving him a half smile, and preceded him out the door. As they went down the steps, she turned to the doctor. "Do you mind if we stop and get Colonel Sheppard? He commented that he couldn't eat right after a mission, so he is probably hungry by now."

Carson nodded. "Good idea. I wasn't sure I liked the look of him earlier."

Elizabeth gave a short guffaw. "Carson, you rarely like the look of any of us. We're all stressed out and running on caffeine, you included."

"True enough, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

They soon reached Edward Sheppard's quarters and knocked. The door was jerked open quickly. When he saw who was at the door he grew pale.

"Is John OK?"

Realizing how they must look, the leader and the doctor coming to visit the father, Carson quickly reassured the older man. "Aye, he's still sleeping off the anesthesia. We're just here to see if you'd like a bite to eat."

Edward hung his head, all the tension appearing to leave his body. Straightening up, he gave a half smile and said, "Sure, just let me get some shoes."

The threesome made their way to the mess hall and quickly found something to eat. Carson, who had put in a hard day, was working on a plate that rivaled one of Rodney's, while Elizabeth and Edward were mostly stirring the casserole of the day.

Teyla walked up to join them. "Ronon has gone to relieve Rodney, and I'm sure he will join us."

No sooner had she spoken than the scientist walked up with his usual pile of victuals.

"Greetings, greetings," he said, sitting down and reviewing his meal before he dug in.

"Rodney, has there been any change?" said Elizabeth, pointedly.

"What?" said McKay, looking up with a smear of butter on his chin. "Oh, no, he's still out of it. Ronon is with him now. Oh, I got some great data on that other chair while Sheppard was using it to knock out that hive."

Edward looked up. He hadn't seen John operate the chair before today and had been quite impressed. John's wound had kind of superseded those thoughts. "So exactly what does he do to operate the weapons?"

Rodney went into lecture mode, making points with his fork. "Well, you see the gene allows him to interface directly with the control systems of the chair. He can send up weapons, call up schematics and maps, and adjust power usage, all kinds of stuff. The chair he used today is limited since that installation was more or less an outpost. The chair here has a lot more functions, but we haven't figured out what all of them are, yet."

The rest of the meal passed in relative quiet, and Carson wasn't pleased with the amount Elizabeth ate. When he went to mention it, however, she just stared him down. He shook his head and made a pointed look of his own.

As she gathered her trash, Elizabeth looked over at the doctor. "Carson, I know you wanted only one of us at a time, but do you mind if Edward sits with me?"

Beckett looked at the two who were probably the most closely tied to the man in ICU and nodded. "Aye, but don't be disturbing the other patients."

"Of course not," said Elizabeth, standing up. Nodding to the others, she headed for the waste receptacles, noting as she did so that Edward Sheppard joined her.

As they left the mess hall together, he said, "Dr. Weir . . ."

"Elizabeth, please."

He gave a half smile. "Elizabeth, I need to ask a favor."

She looked at him and headed to a balcony coming up on their right. He followed her out and leaned against the railing with her.

"What can I do, Edward?"

"I am due to go back to the SGC when you send your weekly message tomorrow. I would like your permission to stay another week. At least until John is awake. I, uh, I just can't leave him like this." The man kept his gaze focused on the ocean where the last streaks of a sunset were disappearing,

Elizabeth nodded in understanding. "I'm sure that can be arranged. I'll inform General Landry that you are putting off your departure for a week."

She heard his murmured "thank you," and turned to look at him more closely.

"May I ask you a question?"

He turned to look at her then, and she could see his age reflected in the lines etched on his face with worry. "Of course."

"You were career military. Surely injuries are not new to you, but you seem really disturbed by John's injuries. Is there a special reason?"

The older colonel looked out to sea again and sighed. "When you are commanding in the field, you get close to your men, but they are soldiers. You move through the infirmary and encourage where you can. But you expect to lose some. When you are a family member at home, all you get is a notification: he's OK, or he's injured and coming home, or he's dead and coming home. The end result is already known. I've haven't been through this waiting and uncertainty for a family member since his mother died. It's . . . unsettling. I don't want to lose him." He suddenly looked away and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

Elizabeth nodded in understanding. Heading back toward the door, she turned and said, "Would you like to stay here for awhile?"

His "yes" was quiet, and voiced more to the waves than to her.

"Should I come for you when I relieve Ronon?"

At this he turned toward her, backlit by the last of the sunset. "Yes, please. And I appreciate your clearing it with Dr. Beckett."

"Fine. I'll see you around midnight, then."

With that, she returned to her office. Work was still the best treatment she had for worry.

**TBC**

**Reviews welcome!**

**A/N: Yes, I know this is getting long. Still have at least six chapters... **


	21. Vigil

**A/N: Standard disclaimer. See previous chapters.**

**A/N: This is another 'tween chapter, completed while I was on vacation. Sorry about the delay. Thank you for all the kind reviews!!**

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**Vigil**

Though she was headed to her own office, Dr. Elizabeth Weir found herself outside the office of Kate Heightmeyer. The door opened at her knock.

"Elizabeth! Hello. Did we have a meeting I forgot?"

"No, Kate, I was just wondering if you had a little time now."

Pausing to consider a mental schedule, Kate nodded, and motioned the leader in. "I have a couple of hours free now. What can I do for you?"

Sitting once again in the chairs by the windows, Elizabeth smiled. "Something I hope won't take two hours."

Kate grinned back. "Agreed." She paused, then, to let the silence encourage Elizabeth. After a few more moments, it worked.

"Kate, I'm getting tired of the constant reminders to eat. Is there any way to cut them off?"

"I take it Carson has been nagging again?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Yes, and Teyla, too. John even left me a muffin this morning before he . . ."

She stopped, realizing that was the last communication she had had with him.

Kate tactfully ignored the awkward break and considered the question. "Well, Carson and I are both worried at your lack of appetite and habit of skipping meals."

Elizabeth threw up her hands, stood up and began to pace. "I don't understand what the problem is. I'm eating. I've gained four pounds this week."

"Yes, but you're still under weight. Have you really looked at yourself, Elizabeth? In a teenager, I might worry about anorexia." She held up her hands as Elizabeth spun toward her. "I know, I know, that's a disease about body image. Still, your lack of eating had you fainting in the gate room and looking starved."

Elizabeth looked at the floor then walked back over to the chair and sat down, looking out the windows. "I'm sorry, I'm just not hungry."

"I understand. Actually, Carson and I have different theories about why."

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. "Care to share?"

Kate smiled then looked more serious. "Carson thinks your lack of appetite is due to stress. He's right that eating habits can change when the body is under stress for an extended period of time."

"But . . . ? What do you think?"

"I think your eating habits changed due to depression. You were worried about your people, not knowing if they were alive or dead. You couldn't move forward. I think you got depressed and just didn't eat. I was hoping that with the return of Colonel Sheppard's team you would start eating again. To a certain extent, I was right."

"Why to a certain extent?"

"Well, you still aren't packing away the calories."

"This is ridiculous. I've never been a big eater. Why is it becoming an issue now? And why has Carson started using John to 'guilt' me into eating?"

"He has?"

"Yes, I was treated to a 'you need to be strong for him' speech this afternoon."

"Hmmm. First of all, realize that Carson will do anything to help a patient, even play dirty."

Elizabeth almost snorted. "Yes, I think I have witnessed some of his questionable tactics with a certain colonel."

"Well, he has seen your, what -- interest? Concern? Affection for? John. And he has decided to use John as a way to get you to eat."

"Can you get him to stop? I don't like what he's insinuating. I also don't want others to pick up on his, uh, observations."

Kate gave a half-smile. "I can see that. Look, I'll talk to him and try to get him to cut it out. Keep in mind, though, that with Colonel Sheppard once more injured, he's worried that your stress will kill your appetite again."

"Any suggestions?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure you'll want to hear them."

"I'm open to almost anything right now."

"OK, let me prescribe you a mild antidepressant." As Elizabeth began to shake her head, Kate held up a hand. "Wait until you hear me through. If, as I suspect, your lack of eating was due to depression, the antidepressants should gradually correct the problem. I will prescribe an SSRI, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. All it does is increase the serotonin available to your brain. In a few weeks, we'll consider how you feel and how you're eating. If it's working, we'll keep going for awhile then taper off. If it isn't, we'll try something else. Either way, I'll talk to Carson and tell him we're working on the eating problem and he should back off for awhile."

"OK, that sounds fair. We'll reassess in three weeks or so?"

"Right. Now I want to change the subject some. How's the writing assignment coming?"

Elizabeth grimaced. "I started. It was turning into a 'Dear John' letter of sorts." She looked at her hands, clasped in her lap. "Then, suddenly something changed."

Kate's eyebrows went up. "Oh? What?"

"Have you had a chance to read the new policies from the SGC? I emailed copies to everyone."

"I noticed them, but I haven't read through them. Is something there?"

"You could say that. I would be interested in your interpretation." She stood up. "That's all I had, Kate, and I need to get back. Regular time next week?"

"Yes, but before you go, here's your prescription," said the psychiatrist, handing Elizabeth a small pill bottle. "Take one a day. You should probably start in the morning until you know if they make you sleepy or wired."

"OK," said Elizabeth, taking the bottle. She looked into the doctor's eyes and smiled. "In case I don't say it enough, thanks, Kate."

Kate smiled and ushered her out of her office.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir spent the next several hours in her office dealing with the endless paperwork of the expedition. She closed her laptop a few minutes before midnight and rubbed her eyes. She was just about caught up, again, but knew she would be behind tomorrow. Leaving her office, she nodded to the night shift and made her way to Edward Sheppard's quarters.

She knocked softly but got no answer. Finally, after knocking harder, the door was pulled open by an obviously sleepy colonel.

"Oh, Dr. Weir, right, Elizabeth. I must have fallen asleep," he said, rubbing his face.

"That's OK, I don't mind watching alone."

"No, no, I want to come. It will take me a few minutes to get ready, so why don't you go ahead."

"OK," said Elizabeth, moving away from the door.

"Oh, Elizabeth, I was going to pick up some coffee. Can I get you some?"

"That would be nice, thank you," she said, smiling, and turning once again toward the infirmary.

The infirmary was quiet for the night, the lights low. The soft beeping of the monitors was comforting, in a way, reminding her that everyone still lived. She walked up to the bed in the corner. Ronon uncoiled from a chair, nodding to her as he left. She approached the head of the bed and looked at its occupant.

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard still lay unconscious. The heart monitor reflected his continuing life, the ventilator continuing his breath, but his face was pale and lax. Carson Beckett, seeing Elizabeth, walked up softly to stand next to her.

"He's holding his own, love."

"But he's not breathing on his own."

"Actually, the ventilator is just a precaution. The scan we did prior to surgery revealed bruised ribs, and breathing can be affected by anesthesia. As soon as he wakes up, I hope we can dispense with it." Carson squeezed her shoulder. "I'm going to get a wee nap, but the staff knows to call me if needed. Be sure you get your own rest, Elizabeth," he finished and walked back to his office.

Elizabeth grabbed the chair left by Ronon and moved it closer to John's right side. Reaching out, she squeezed his hand. "Hang in there, John, and come back to us."

She lowered her head to the bed, resting her eyes. The smell of coffee and a soft footfall had her sitting up.

"I wasn't sure how you liked it, so I brought some cream and sugar."

"No, black is fine," said Elizabeth, gladly taking the cup from Edward Sheppard. The man moved up to the side of the bed, staring at his son.

Quiet once again descended on the infirmary.

Finally, Elizabeth moved. "There's another chair here."

"No, I'm good."

Elizabeth smiled at the phrase. She wondered what else John had received from this man.

Clearing her throat, she kept her voice down, but said, "So, what was John like as a boy?"

Edward appeared surprised by the question, but he saw that she was serious and he eased back into the chair beside her.

"Well, he was always into trouble of some kind."

Elizabeth gave a wry smile. "Well, at least some things haven't changed." She looked over at him. "Why don't we trade stories. I'd like to hear some about his early life, and maybe I can come up with some things that weren't in the reports."

Edward gave a half smile, turning back to the figure on the bed. "He will probably want to kill us when he wakes up. Want me to go first?"

"Yes, please, but we have to keep it down so Beckett doesn't come after us. So, warn me if it's too funny."

"Point noted." With that he paused, then began.

The rest of the night passed in storytelling. He related John's first experience with flight, a hot air balloon at a fair; she told him about meeting John when he accidentally sat in the Antarctica chair. He described the first car, she described him trying to tell the Athosian children the story of _Friday the 13th_. He explained about the family fascination with Ferris wheels, she described how John tried to explain football to Teyla and Ronon. He explained about the family's many moves, she described how John had created a family on Atlantis. In the darkest hours before dawn, he described the loss of his wife, John's mother. She provided the background on Sumner and Ford.

As night turned to day, the two fell silent, comfortable with each other and with a common concern for the silent patient. That was how Beckett found them the next morning, not asleep, but quiet, pondering some of the things they had learned.

Beckett quickly took a set of vitals, reassuring them that nothing was worse, but nothing was better either. Soon after, Teyla came to relieve them.

"How about some breakfast?" said Edward, motioning toward the mess hall.

Elizabeth hesitated. She still wasn't particularly hungry, but she nodded and followed him through the line to a table occupied by Rodney and Ronon.

"Any change?" asked Rodney, stopping with his spoon halfway to his mouth.

"No," said Elizabeth, stirring some oatmeal and adding sugar. "But Beckett said he's still holding his own."

Rodney grunted and returned to the laptop he was reading from.

Ronon looked at Elizabeth. "He's strong. He'll get through it."

Elizabeth nodded and returned to her breakfast. All of them finished quickly and went their separate ways, Rodney to his lab, Ronon to the gym, Edward and Elizabeth to their quarters.

"Let me know if the SGC has trouble with me staying on," said Edward as he opened his door.

"Of course, but I don't anticipate any problems," replied Elizabeth. She then continued down the hall to her own quarters where she showered and changed for the day.

Once she got to her office, she began to prepare the report for the SGC. As she was reviewing her list, Dr. Daniel Jackson knocked on the door.

"Dr. Jackson, come in! I had almost forgotten you were here."

"I knew you were on light duty, so I've been keeping myself busy with the anthropologists. I have a good collection of images of ancient writings that you haven't had time to translate yet, and I was able to spend some additional time looking through the ancient database. I think I have plenty of data to keep me busy for awhile. As I translate it, I'll send it back to you during the weekly reports."

"Thank you. By the way, Colonel Edward Sheppard will not be returning with you today. I'm going to inform the SGC that he will be staying another week. Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard was injured on a mission and has not yet regained consciousness. I thought it would be somewhat cruel to make him leave now."

"OK, I'll put in my support if it comes to that. I don't think Landry will have a problem, though. What happened?"

Elizabeth told him what she knew of the mission, and Daniel shook his head. "First the Go'auld wanted us as hosts, now the inhabitants of the Pegasus galaxy want our genes."

"Don't forget the Ori want our worship."

"And our freedom of thought." He sighed and stood up. "When are you planning on making contact?"

"In about two hours. It should be around 1pm at the SGC."

"Fine. I'll get my stuff and be ready to go." Giving her a little wave, the scientist hurried back to his guest quarters to get packed.

Elizabeth finished checking with each department on material to be sent and collecting the data. A file of emails was also prepared for upload. She just managed to finish in the two hours she had allotted.

When Daniel returned to the gate room, Elizabeth nodded to Chuck. "Please dial Earth."

Daniel came up to the control room while the gate was dialing.

As the wormhole engaged, Elizabeth sent the Atlantis IDC and her laptop link came up.

"SGC, this is Atlantis."

"This is the SGC, Atlantis, Landry here." General Landry was smiling.

"Hello, General Landry. I'm sending our files now. I also have a scientist waiting to come back."

"The iris is open. Tell him to come when ready."

"Thank you, once again, for your great hospitality," said Daniel, turning to Elizabeth and extending his hand.

Elizabeth shook his hand. "Thank you for participating in the most entertaining debriefing I've ever received. Give my best to everyone."

"Will do," said Daniel, and with a wave, he went down the stairs and through the now engaged wormhole.

"He's on his way, General."

"And he's here. We've also received your files. Where's Colonel Sheppard?"

"Colonel Edward Sheppard has requested we delay his departure. Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard has been injured and has not regained consciousness. We are hopeful he will in the near future. I've agreed to him staying for another week."

"Acknowledged, Atlantis," said Landry. "Tell him we'll see him in a week. Is that all, Dr. Weir?"

"That's all, General. Atlantis out."

"SGC out."

On Earth, Landry closed the link and worried again about the injury-prone colonel who carried the most powerful instance of the ancient gene.

Dr. Elizabeth Weir, meanwhile, reviewed the files that came through from Stargate Command. Nothing critical jumped out at her, so she excused herself from the control room and went to the mess hall to pick up some lunch. Skipping the lunch room, she went back to her quarters to eat and take a nap before another meeting at 3pm. The news from Beckett earlier suggested she faced another night in the infirmary.

In the infirmary, Beckett had just taken the latest round of vitals. Though nothing was worse, the colonel seemed no closer to waking up, and Beckett was beginning to worry about the man slipping into a coma. So far his brain function appeared normal on the EEG, but his continuing unconsciousness was of major concern.

That was still the case when Elizabeth Weir and Edward Sheppard again appeared in the infirmary to keep watch. The same sounds of the monitors kept them company, but the mood was more somber. They shared a few more stories, and Edward asked about some details left out of reports, but the conversation was punctuated with long silences as each considered the object of their vigil.

John remained hooked up to monitors, with tubes delivering and removing fluids. His beard was beginning to grow in, and Elizabeth wondered if she should mention it to Edward in case he wanted to shave him. She knew the nurses would do it if one of them did not. His arm was still immobilized against his chest, but the surgical dressing had been changed and the drain removed. He looked vulnerable, lying in the bed, his face relaxed and almost as pale as the sheets.

Elizabeth had taken John's hand soon after arriving, needing that contact and hoping to feel an answering squeeze. As the night progressed, Edward, too, seemed to need more contact with his son, and moved his chair closer to the bed so he could rest a hand on John's leg. The morning shift change found them both dozing, resting their heads on the bed next to the healing soldier.

Edward stirred in response to the sound of a blood pressure cuff being inflated. He opened his eyes to find Dr. Beckett once again taking the early set of vitals on his patient.

"Morning, Colonel," whispered Beckett, nodding toward Elizabeth who was still asleep.

"'Morning, Doc," replied Edward, easing himself upright and stretching to relieve the stiffness in his shoulders. "Any change?"

Carson shook his head as he recorded the data. At that point, Teyla walked up quietly and shook Elizabeth.

"Dr. Weir, you can go back to your quarters now."

"What?" murmured Elizabeth, slowly realizing where she was. She looked up quickly at Beckett who shook his head.

"Why don't you get something to eat then some rest? I'll call you if there is any change."

Elizabeth nodded and looked over to Edward. Getting an answering nod from him, she stood up, and the two left the infirmary.

"I'm too tired to eat," she said, as they walked in the direction of the mess hall.

"I'm thinking of just grabbing something and leaving. You?"

"That sounds like a good idea," said Elizabeth as they reached the mess hall. They both picked up some pastry and fruit and headed back to the residential area.

"I hope he wakes up today, but if not, same time tonight?" asked Edward, palming open his door.

"Yes, I'll be there," answered Elizabeth, wearily giving a slight wave as she moved on to her own quarters.

She tried to rest, she really tried. After a shower and some pastry, she lay down and composed herself for sleep, but it wouldn't come. Her concern for John was growing with Beckett's unchanging reports. Finally, she gave up, got dressed, and returned to her office to look over the new information from the SGC.

That night found her with Edward Sheppard once again sharing a vigil. There was no talking, now. They gravitated to their positions of the night before: her hand in Johns, Edward's on John's leg. At one point, she laid her head on the bed next to their clasped hands. Seeing her, Edward reached over and set his free hand on her shoulder, trying to give some comfort where there was none. So they sat in shared silence and shared concern.

Two more days passed in much the same way, and Edward was beginning to fear that he would never see his son wake up. As they kept vigil for the fifth night in a row, he could see Elizabeth's shoulders shaking where she had, once again, laid her head next to John's hand. Wishing again he knew more about their relationship, he moved his chair over so he could provide some comfort, even if only in the form of a grip on her shoulder. She reached back to take his hand, a silent acknowledgement of his concern. And so another night came to an end.

As Beckett took John's vitals, Elizabeth stood up from the chair, stretching her stiffened muscles, rubbing her eyes, and reaching over to give John's hand one more squeeze. This time, however, she felt an answering pressure.

"Carson!" she said, looking carefully at John's face.

Dr. Beckett came around the bed and also looked at John's face for some sign of consciousness. He motioned to a nurse to bring some ice and to be prepared. Edward Sheppard moved up beside Elizabeth, sure that he could see a twitch in John's eyelids.

"Colonel Sheppard, John," said Beckett, glancing at John's father, "Can ya hear me, lad?"

"He squeezed my hand again, harder," said Elizabeth, just as John seemed to begin struggling against the ventilator.

"Easy, lad, you know the drill. Let's see some eyes, then I'll get that thing out of your throat."

John opened his eyes, then they seemed to open even wider in panic. Beckett quickly prepared to remove the ventilator.

"Give me a good cough to speed it out, John." The cough wasn't strong, but it got the tube out with a minimum of gagging. After handing off the tube to the nurse, Beckett tested John's pupil reaction.

"Aye, do you know where you are? How do you feel?"

"C'rson?" His voice was raspy, and Beckett quickly gave him some ice chips.

"Better?"

"Yes," in a slightly better voice. "But why is it dark in here?"

Suddenly the lights in the infirmary brightened to an almost painful degree. Beckett looked around, thinking them dim, then looked more closely at John's eyes. "Dark? What do you mean?"

"I can see only shadows, and I can't seem to make the lights come up. Is something wrong?"

Beckett just looked at Elizabeth and Edward, sharing their look of dismay.

**TBC**

**Reviews welcome!**


	22. A Walk Through Darkness

**A/N: Usual disclaimers apply: intellectual property owned by others.**

**A/N: And since you put up with the long vigil, I thought I'd make the blind thing shorter... **

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**A Walk Through Darkness**

In the time it took Carson to look up at Elizabeth and Edward, John had his hand up to his face. As he felt around his eyes, they saw him stiffen and reach the same conclusion. His hand fell stiffly by his side as he closed his eyes.

"I'm blind, right?"

Carson took a deep breath and returned to the familiar task of taking John's vitals. "Well, let's not be hasty. You have a severe concussion."

John sighed and turned his head away from where he could hear the three of them.

"What exactly do you remember?" continued Beckett.

John was quiet a minute then said, softly, "A wraith was attacking Dad and I couldn't get a shot, so I ran at it."

Beckett looked over at Edward who nodded. "That's right," said Beckett, "but that's not all. After you hit the wraith, it picked you up and threw you against a large boulder. Though you hit back first, and bruised some ribs, your head snapped back against the rock, giving you a large contusion on your occipital lobe, the part of the brain that controls vision. You immediately became unconscious and you dislocated your broken clavicle at the same time, and the broken bone ruptured your subclavian artery. We got you to surgery as quickly as possible but you didn't regain consciousness until just now."

"How long?"

"Five days, John," whispered Elizabeth.

John reached for her, and Elizabeth grabbed his hand again.

"The rest of the team?"

"We lost Williams. Alexander broke a leg."

John nodded. "So what about the blindness, Doc?"

"In cases of head trauma, some patients experience temporary blindness. . ."

"Temporary?"

"Aye, in most cases. It can be referred to as cortical blindness or occipital blindness. Either way, it is caused by the trauma to the optical pathways in the brain. Your eyes are still responding to light, but the brain's connection has been stressed. In most cases, the problem corrects itself shortly. You said you could see shadows, right?"

"Yeah. How soon is 'shortly'?"

"It depends on the injury. It could be hours to days. I just need you to be patient and let your shoulder heal. Your eyes should take care of themselves."

Beckett offered some more ice chips and John took them eagerly. "Easy does it. You haven't had anything to eat or drink in five days."

"So I assume the shoulder wound is why I can't move my left side."

"Aye, and I don't want you trying to do anything with it. It took me a long time to resection that artery, and I don't want my work messed up with your fidgeting. Now, there are some folks here who would like to say hello before they leave." Beckett looked pointedly at Elizabeth and Edward, and now Teyla who had joined them.

"John," said Elizabeth, squeezing his hand again, "it's good to have you back. We need to talk about your bad habits on easy missions."

"I was thinking we need to revise the definition of a 'walk in the park,' or at least expand it so folks will be ready for anything," finished Edward. Elizabeth stepped out of the way so he could hold John's hand. "Thanks for the save. I haven't seen a tackle that great since that 4th down save you did in high school."

"Yeah, and the wraith are just about as big as that lineman was," said John, squeezing his father's hand. It was somewhat disconcerting to talk to a shadow, but he was trying.

"I am glad to see you awake, John. Rodney and Ronon will also be glad to know you are back with us," said Teyla in her calming voice. She reached over and patted John's leg so he would know where she was.

"Don't let them get too lazy, now. Especially Rodney."

Teyla smiled. "I'll tell him you were thinking of him. I am going to meet them for breakfast now that you are awake. Dr. Weir, Colonel Sheppard, will you join us?"

"I think I will," said Elizabeth.

Edward Sheppard nodded and squeezed his son's hand one more time. "Hang in there, John. It should be temporary. Don't let it get to you."

John nodded. "I'll try. It's just that a blind pilot is like a lame horse. Pretty useless."

"That's enough of that," said Beckett, shooing the others away and returning to John. "As I told you, this is most likely temporary, so don't borrow trouble. Now, how are you feeling? Truthfully! Headache? Dizziness? Nausea?

"A little headache, but otherwise pretty good."

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"Um, could I get some coffee?"

"No coffee right now, but how about some juice and cereal."

"Carson, you're no fun," said John, a little of his usual personality peeking through.

"That's what all my patients say. Just rest, get a little more sleep if you can, and we'll get some breakfast here in a little bit."

"OK," said John, settling down in the bed again. As he heard Beckett walk away, he blinked his eyes, trying to distinguish between open and closed. The difference was black versus shades of dark gray, but it was there. He sighed and closed his eyes, hoping to wake up to a colorful world.

Unfortunately, a nap was not enough to address the blindness. When he woke up, his father was sitting next to him with a breakfast tray. He was only able to recognize him by his shape and the smell of the food.

"OK, I think we're going to have to work out a system to keep you fed," said Edward, who had already discussed the problem with Beckett. He placed the tray of food on a table, raised the head of the bed, and slid the table over John's lap. "Your juice is at 11 o'clock, cutlery at 3 o'clock. I decided to go easy today so all you have is a bowl of oatmeal in the middle with a muffin at 8 o'clock. We can work out a scheme for a plate later."

"Thanks, Dad," said John, finding his spoon with only one fumble, and getting his oatmeal without having to put his hand in it.

Dr. Beckett came over as John was finishing up. "I see you worked out a system," he said, beginning the usual round of checking vital signs.

"Yeah," said John, putting down his spoon as Beckett reached for his arm for the blood pressure check. "Uh, is anyone else around?"

Edward raised his eyebrows, but answered, "No, just the three of us and some nurses at the other end of the infirmary.

"Good," said John. "Carson, since I'm awake now, do you think we can dispense with the catheter?"

Carson considered a moment. "You'll have to have help to get to the bathroom, you know."

"That's OK, I'll help him."

John looked a little embarrassed. "Gee, Dad."

"John, I changed your. . ."

"Yeah, yeah, let's not go there," interrupted John, looking even redder. "I guess that's a plan then. Can we do it now? I need to go, and I could really use a shower."

"You're going to have to be helped in the shower as well. You have only one good arm, a concussion, and you're blind. And I don't want you to get the bandage wet. It would really be easier to leave things as they are."

"Carson, . . ."

"Aye, I know," said Carson, and he left to get an instrument tray.

Upon his return, it was short work dispensing with the catheter, but the trip to the bathroom was much longer.

"I hate coming out of a coma," said John to his father. "It seems to take forever to get any strength back."

They had reached the toilet, and Edward turned his back to give him some privacy, but Beckett had insisted he stay in the room. He helped John get the gown off and set him up on a chair in the shower before leaving him. Beckett brought over some scrubs.

"He's going to want these as soon as he's out of there. He hates the gowns."

"Do you blame him?" queried Edward with a raised eyebrow.

"Aye, I agree that the gowns were probably invented by sadistic or perverted doctors. Anyway, you need to keep an eye on him. He will try to do too much when he's healing, and I don't want him re-injured while his sight is in question."

"You're sure it will come back?"

"Pretty sure. This symptom isn't all that uncommon in head trauma. He may need more time given the weakness from the other wound." Beckett nodded and left the retired colonel outside the bathroom.

Edward noticed the water had stopped running some time ago, and he began to worry that John might be having trouble. Opening the door a crack, he called to him, "John, you OK in there?"

"Yeah, just a little weaker than I thought. Do you have some scrubs?"

"Yeah," said his father pushing into the room. "Beckett said you'd be looking for these." He handed the scrubs to John who was leaning on the sink, a towel around his waist. "What can I do to help you?"

"Could you hold the pants? This is difficult with only one arm let alone without sight."

Carefully, Edward helped his son into the scrub pants. They skipped the shirt and opted for the gown given the bandage still on his left arm. When John was put together, they eased back to the bed with Edward taking most of John's weight. John was so exhausted he almost immediately went to sleep. At that point, Beckett came back over.

"Good. Sleep is the best thing for him." He looked at the older man appraisingly. "You could do with some sleep yourself, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want him waking alone in the dark."

Beckett's eyebrows rose, but he didn't say anything. "I think we can get his team members to give you a break.

Edward Sheppard considered his son while he thought of the suggestion. "OK, I admit I need some rest. But please call if he needs anything."

Beckett nodded and walked away, contacting Rodney on his radio.

When Rodney showed up, the older colonel went to his quarters, cleaned up, and took a nap. He returned to the infirmary just as John was finishing some soup Ronon had brought him.

A new pattern developed in the next few days. His team still sat with him during the day, but his father began to take a greater role in his care, always managing to be around when John wanted a shower or a trip to the toilet. He concentrated on letting the ailing pilot be as self-sufficient as possible while providing help where needed. On his second day since waking up, Beckett even allowed John out of the infirmary in Edward's care, and the two walked carefully to the nearest balcony.

"The fresh air always feels better after a few days in the infirmary. I always start to feel claustrophobic in there," said John, holding his face up to the sky. He could distinguish shapes a little better in the sunlight, but everything was still a shadow with no color. He tired quickly, so they moved back to the infirmary.

Elizabeth quietly notified the SGC that Colonel Sheppard would be staying still one more week. She also still sat with him at night and tried to be present when he woke up each morning.

Everyone stayed upbeat, assuring John that the blindness was temporary. But John began to shut down.

At first it was extended silences, almost unnoticeable when Rodney was present. Then he seemed to sleep more during the day. Or at least his eyes were closed. He acknowledged his father's help, but by the fifth day he didn't even acknowledge when his team members changed shifts. He also was barely eating, a fact not unnoticed by Carson.

Elizabeth was sitting with him when he awoke on the sixth day. He had said little to anyone in the last couple of days, and she was becoming worried. She was stroking his hand as he awoke to the same gray haze and shadows. Suddenly overwhelmed with helplessness, he kept his eyes closed and turned away from her so she wouldn't see his anguish.

"Elizabeth, could you leave for a little while? Just for awhile. Oh, and please pull the curtains. I'd like a little privacy."

"Of course, John," she said, concerned at a slight quiver in his voice, but slowly disengaging her hand from his. He quickly moved his arm up over his eyes as if shielding them from the light.

As Elizabeth turned to leave, she saw Edward right behind her. He nodded to her and began pulling the privacy curtains. After she left, he looked at his son, seeing a man in emotional pain. Carefully he moved to the bed and hitched a hip on the mattress next to John.

"Elizabeth, please just leave."

"It's just me," said Edward, reaching for John's good arm.

John tried to turn his head away from his father. His voice, when he spoke, was rough. "Dad, I just. . . can't. . ."

"Come here iglet."

John pulled his arm off his eyes, staring at his father with reddened eyes. "You haven't called me that in years."

"Well, it seemed appropriate somehow," said his father, giving a gentle tug on John's arm.

John lurched into his father's embrace, burying his face in his father's neck. The term of endearment had raised a flood of memories in both men.

_Captain Edward Sheppard hurried into the emergency room. He had been called at the base to come get his son who had injured himself jumping from a swing at pre-school. His wife was not available. He was still annoyed at being interrupted at work._

"_Sheppard?" he said to the ER attendant._

"_Are you a member of the family?"_

"_Yes, I'm his father."_

"_Curtain 3."_

_His irritation lasted until he saw the forlorn five-year-old on the bed. John had broken his arm, and it was now in a cast up to his elbow. His face was streaked with tears that he had obviously tried to wipe off because the streaks showed dirt from his hands. Looking up, the boy saw his father and looked even more distraught._

"_I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to get hurt. I was just. . ." he started, the tears beginning again._

"_That's OK, son, let's just get out of here."_

_Picking up the boy, he quickly completed the paperwork and got him into the car. He still looked crestfallen, as if waiting for punishment. As he reached to start the car, Edward got an idea. So instead of going home, they went to the zoo._

"_What are we doing here, Dad?" said a curious John, tears drying on his face._

"_You'll see," said his father with a small smile._

_After paying their entry fees, John's father took him to the aviary to see the raptor exhibit. There were falcons, hawks, and, in pride of place, bald eagles. Most especially, however, there were two tiny heads sticking over the side of a very large nest up at the top of the enclosure._

"_See that, John?"_

"_Wow, Dad, they've got babies!" squealed John, completely forgetting about his broken arm in trying to climb on the railings._

"_Yep, those are eaglets. Do you notice the mom and dad eagles are feeding them?"_

"_Yeah, sure."_

"_Why do you think that's so?"_

"_Well, they can't fly, yet, right?"_

"_And why can't they fly?"_

_The boy puzzled at this one for awhile. "They don't know how?"_

"_Well, that's partially true. They also don't have feathers yet, and the feathers allow them to fly. They'll get feathers when they are older."_

"_Oh, OK."_

_Edward Sheppard picked up his son again and turned him to face him. "You know, you are like those eaglets."_

"_Me?"_

"_Yep, you want to fly, but you're not old enough and you don't know how. I promise you that when you're grown you'll have a chance to learn to fly. But for now, please stop trying to fly off of swing sets and roof tops."_

_John hung his head._

"_Hey, you're my eaglet. And your mother and I will take care of you until then. You have to trust us."_

_John looked up. His father didn't seem particularly angry. He reached over and hugged his neck._

"_I'm your iglet?"_

"_It's eaglet, but iglet is OK, too. So, do you promise to stop with the swings and roofs?"_

"_Yes, Dad."_

"_OK, now let's look around a little more and then get home to your mom._

Edward felt his son shaking and pulled him closer, careful of his still immobilized arm.

"Dad," he whispered, "What if I never fly again?" He gripped his father more tightly as he gave in to tears of despair.

Edward, holding his son more tightly, had suspected that this possibility was at the heart of John's depression, and he was waiting for it. "John, you have to be patient. I know it seems impossible now, but Beckett is almost sure you'll see again."

John gave a watery snort. "Yeah, it's that 'almost' that's the kicker." He pulled back, wiping his face with his hand, his cheeks a faint pink with embarrassment. "They'll send me home, you know."

Edward hadn't thought of that. Now that he had seen how John fit in with the community Atlantis had become, he realized there were two sources of his pain: first, that he couldn't fly, and second, that he would be removed from a group that had become like a family to him.

"It hasn't come to that. Beckett said he wasn't going to worry for another week. Your scans were normal with just a little swelling in the injured area." He stood up from the bed. "Look, I'm going to get your breakfast. Do you need anything before I do?"

"No, I'm good, Dad," said John. "Actually, I'm not very hungry. I think I'll just try to get some more sleep."

Edward looked hard at his son, noticing the still red eyes and a slight tremble in his lip. "OK, then I'll check back in an hour or so."

John nodded and slid down in the bed. "Dad?"

"Yes, John?" said Edward, pausing before closing the curtains behind him.

"Thanks." It came out very soft, and a little quivery, but Edward could felt things might start improving now.

"Anytime, son. I'll be back soon."

John took a deep breath, or as deep as the bandages would allow. Closing his eyes against the grayness, he willed himself to sleep.

That was how Rodney found him when he came in for first watch.

**TBC**

**Reviews appreciated! ...and incorporated where appropriate.**


	23. Dawn

**A/N: Usual disclaimers. Not mine.**

**A/N: I have to finish three real papers before I get back to this, so the next update will be awhile. And thanks for the kind reviews. **

** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Dawn**

The following week was a continuation of the previous except that John was released from the infirmary. Beckett, along with John's team, his father and Elizabeth, hoped that getting out of the infirmary would help with the depression. John was in a sling for his shoulder and could get around fairly well. His eyesight, however, was still causing problems. He could distinguish shapes, and they were brighter than before, but the lack of acuity was debilitating. He could not read, use his laptop, or even watch DVDs very long. His team still kept him company and they, with his father and Elizabeth, made sure he had what he needed. They tried not to leave him alone.

The problem was boredom, and the boredom was threatening a return of the depression. Since his shoulder could take as long as 12 weeks to completely heal, the time off duty was necessary. That still didn't make it palatable to a man who was used to action.

Dr. Kate Heightmayer tried to get John to talk, but he had become quiet again after his breakdown in the infirmary. That left his team, his father, Beckett, and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth continued to take the early morning shift being especially concerned that he not wake up in the dark. As a result, she had been present when the nightmares began. At first, she thought he was just restless. As time passed, however, he would begin to cry out. Most of the nightmares hovered around the point at which he saw the wraith prepare to feed on his father. He had awakened several times at this point, thrashing about when he couldn't get his bearings because he couldn't see. At those times, it was her hands on his brow, and her soothing words, that quieted him.

He hated her to see him like that. After one such episode, he closed his eyes and turned away from her. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly.

"Don't be, John. You experienced something horrific. We all have our own nightmares."

She moved over from her usual place on his chair to the side of his bed. He felt the bed sink with her weight but did not turn toward her. Seeing his reluctance, but not sure if it was embarrassment or something else, she reached for his hand, entwining her fingers with his. She was a little surprised at the strong grip she received in return.

"Yeah, but everyone else's nightmares aren't for public consumption."

Elizabeth began stroking the back of his hand. "Maybe not, but they affect us all the same. Beckett has become my dealer for sleeping pills."

He turned back toward her slowly. She had put on a dim light when he first reacted to the dream, so she could see his face. He looked in her direction, but there was still no focus, no light in his eyes. There were new lines of stress, but she wasn't sure if they were a reaction to physical or emotional pain. She realized she hadn't seen him smile in quite some time. Reacting to his appearance, she reached over to smooth his hair back from his face with her free hand.

As he felt her touch on his face, he realized yet again how much her concern meant to him. "Elizabeth, thank you for being here," he whispered.

She got up from the bed and leaned over him. For just a moment, he thought he felt the brush of her lips on his forehead. "Go back to sleep, John," she said, returning to her chair.

He closed his eyes, calmed his mind, and tried to think only of Elizabeth as he dozed off.

One morning toward the end of that week, Elizabeth was heading to John's quarters with a tray of toast, oatmeal, and juice. She had begun the habit of going to the mess hall to get John's breakfast while he showered. That way, she helped in the effort to be sure he was eating without smothering him with the constant watching that had characterized his recent weeks in the infirmary.

She opened the door without knocking, a habit all of them had developed with John's care. When she peeked in, however, he wasn't in his bed. She listened, but the shower wasn't running, and he was no where in the room. She set the tray on the desk, trying to think where he could be. After a few minutes, she made her way to the closest balcony. As she suspected, John was leaning on the railings, dressed in the sweats and t-shirt he'd been sleeping in.

"Good morning, John," she said, to be sure he knew she was there.

"Hey, Elizabeth," he replied, with his face turned up to the sky.

"Ready for breakfast?" she asked, coming over to stand next to him.

She looked at his face when he didn't respond immediately and noticed a few tears at the corner of his closed eyes. Worried, she placed her hand on his arm. "John, are you OK?"

He turned to face her, then. He opened his eyes, glistening with unshed tears and gave her a huge smile.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" he said, gazing into their green depths.

"No," she began, then stopped, gripping his arm harder. He was looking at her, focusing on her. "John, can you see my eyes?" she breathed, hardly daring to hope.

He nodded, and his smile turned into laughter. "YES!" he yelled, reaching out and grabbing her around her waist with his good arm.

"Thank God," said Elizabeth, throwing her arms around his neck as he twirled her.

He set her down then, with a slight grimace. "Don't tell Beckett I did that," he said, leaving his arm around her and still looking into her eyes.

She laughed then and hugged him again. "It will be our secret."

She pulled back, a beaming smile on her face that matched his. He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear then bent down and kissed her gently.

Elizabeth was surprised and stiffened, and John pulled back, dropping his eyes. "Sorry about that, guess I got carried. . ."

He didn't get to finish because Elizabeth placed her hands on his face and quite deliberately kissed him. John closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her lips, pulling her closer as she slipped her arms around his waist and the kiss intensified.

The sound of someone clearing his throat caused them to jump apart, and they looked back at the door to see Edward Sheppard with a half smile on his face. "Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything. Are we celebrating something?"

"Yes," said Elizabeth, with a smile that gave it away. "John can see."

Edward's face broke into a matching grin and he came over and hugged his son, then hugged Elizabeth, twirling her again. Giving her a kiss on the cheek, he said, "That's great!" He glanced over at John. "I'm going to head to the mess hall. There are some very anxious people who will be glad to hear your news. See you there soon?" he asked.

They nodded. He hugged Elizabeth again, slapped John on his good shoulder, and left the balcony with a spring in his step.

John grinned at his father's retreating back, shaking his head, before he looked over at Elizabeth. She was regarding him with speculation in her gaze, and John remembered the interrupted kiss. Suddenly uncomfortably shy, he said, "Um, we should probably talk a little later."

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea. Actually, I've been waiting for a chance to discuss some things with you."

He raised an eyebrow, wondering if she had finally read the policy changes and realized what they might mean.

"Well, I've been in the infirmary for three weeks, so I can't be in trouble, so I guess that's OK. Why don't I come by and get you for dinner?"

"That sounds good," she said, leading the way off the balcony. "What are you planning on doing today with your regained ability?"

"Well, I need to get Beckett to check this out so maybe I can return to light duty. Then I thought I'd catch up on a little paper work and read some more _War and Peace._"

"Good, but Beckett might not want you on light duty yet."

"Well, I plan to talk him around. After the last few days, even paper work sounds exciting."

"Hmmm, you must still be sick," she said, smiling as he poked her for the comment. "Are you going to go to the mess hall like that?" she said, looking at his sweats with one eyebrow raised.

"Oops," he grinned. "Guess I need to clean up a little. So should I keep the beard?" he asked, one hand rubbing his three day stubble speculatively while he smirked at Elizabeth.

She raised one eyebrow. "Far be it from me to interfere with such a decision. I'll tell everyone you're on your way. Hurry," she added, with another smile as she turned to the mess hall.

When John finally reached the mess hall, his team broke into spontaneous cheering causing him to smirk at their demonstration.

"'Bout time you got out of bed and started doing something productive," griped McKay, hiding his own relief at John's recovery. "Of course, now you will have no excuse not to come help me in the lab," he finished, sopping up the last of the syrup with some toaster waffles as John sat down next to his father with his own breakfast.

"Workout?" queried Ronon.

"Not yet, I'm afraid," said John with a grimace.

"I should think not, Colonel," said Dr. Carson Beckett, approaching the table with his own food. He glanced at John and then looked closer. "I knew it was only temporary," he said with a broad smile. "I expect you to stop by the infirmary so we can do a checkup today."

"I know, Carson," said John, almost but not quite whining.

Breakfast continued like that, with many of John's men coming by to congratulate him on his recovery. John, for the most part, took all the teasing and back slapping in stride, but he still tired easily, and a headache was developing to remind him he still had some issues with Beckett.

"Well, I'm off to the infirmary," said John, putting his trash on his tray and getting up to follow Beckett who had left earlier.

"Leave it," said Ronon, nodding at the tray. "Two hands," he added, waving his at John, making the point that John was still one-handed.

"OK, thanks," said John, getting to his feet. He looked over at Elizabeth. "I'll stop by later.

"Fine."

"OK, just be sure you're finished," warned John as he walked away.

Elizabeth shook her head and turned back to her yogurt.

Beckett gave him another round of vision tests and pronounced that part of his recovery complete. "But Colonel, you still need to take it easy on the shoulder. No training, working out, running, lifting or anything else strenuous for the next six weeks."

John grimaced at the limitations, but he could feel his own weakness and figured he would need some of that time. Before he could say anything, Beckett continued.

"Colonel, I can tell your mood has improved with regaining your vision, but I'm still concerned about how this affected you. I won't clear you for duty until you've talked to Dr. Heightmeyer."

John grimaced even more and sighed. "You know I hate that."

"Aye, I know, but I think you owe it to yourself and your team to be sure you've handled whatever issues caused your depression."

"I thought that was obvious: being blind."

Carson nodded. "Aye, and everything seems fine. Humor us, lad, and let us be sure you're completely sound."

John nodded, resignedly. "Is flying OK, now that I can see?"

Beckett looked suspicious. "Flying? As in a jumper? Not on a mission."

"No, not a mission. I was just thinking of taking Dad up again before he leaves."

"Oh, well, if it's just straight up and only for a few hours, it should be fine. Mind, no going off world or even to the mainland."

"And light duty, right?"

"As long as you remember the definition of 'light duty,' Colonel. Paperwork is fine; nothing strenuous."

John hopped off the examination table and bounced on his toes. "OK, nothing strenuous. See you later, Carson."

As he left, Carson Beckett wondered what loophole the colonel would find in those instructions.

John spent the next couple of days just catching up with things. He watched Ronon and his dad spar with Teyla and spent some time touching things in the lab for Rodney. He even tried to get through some of the paper work on his desk, but having only one hand made typing difficult. He also made a point of finding Elizabeth each evening and making sure she had some dinner. And they had talked each evening, but not about themselves.

On the evening three days after John regained his sight, Dr. Elizabeth Weir sighed, shut down her laptop, and moved to the balcony near her office. The sun was approaching the horizon, and she breathed in the salty air. She had decided she needed to start things, so she had reread the new fraternization policies yet again in preparation for asking John about them. To be honest, she was nervous, not knowing how such a conversation would go. She decided she would start with his objective view of the policies and then see if he wanted to lead the conversation to anything more personal.

"Stopping early for you, aren't you?"

Elizabeth jumped a little and looked back to see John Sheppard straighten from where he was leaning against the door and move to the railing next to her. He still had the sling on his left arm, but he looked even more relaxed than usual. They both looked out to the sunset.

"I promised Carson I would take it easy when he let me get back to work early, and I'm trying to keep the promise. The problem is the work piles up faster than a regular eight hour day can handle. Somehow no one allowed for sick leave or vacation or normal work hours when they told me to put this expedition together."

"You know, that paperwork will always be there." He turned to face her, noticing her profile seemed peaceful. The light of the setting sun set her hair glowing. "So, you're trying to change your habits?"

"Yes. Can't have the leader of the expedition collapsing for being stupid, can we?" she quipped. She glanced at him before looking again out to sea. "I know I have to find a balance. I'm just not sure the Pegasus galaxy is going to give me a chance."

They were both quiet for a moment, as the sun seemed to touch the horizon, lighting up a path across the ocean. With his sight restored, John couldn't seem to get enough of the view.

Elizabeth glanced at him and saw that he seemed much more at peace. He was wearing casual clothing and running shoes. The depression and stress of the blindness were gone, now, and he was eating better. Though the sling reminded everyone of his wound, he was obviously healing.

"Have you had a chance to review your email today?"

He looked over at her and smirked. "No, actually reading email is not high on my list of things I wanted to do. Why?"

'Well, it seems that the SGC has rewritten some policies specific to Atlantis, and I wanted your thoughts."

"Oh, those." His hand on the rail tightened. He had been wondering when this would come up and he hoped he said the right things.

"You knew?" she asked, turning to fully face him.

He gave a small snort. "Who do you think wrote them? General Landry had no reason to change something that worked on Earth and that he thought also worked on Atlantis."

That caught her off guard and she paused. "So you are behind the changes?"

"Yeah, they took some suggestions I had."

She considered his words. "And you thought the previous policies didn't work?" This was promising.

Oops, thought John. "Actually, I thought they needed some tweaking to reflect the nature of the mission and the staffing." Her turn.

Elizabeth backed off a bit to get her thoughts together. "How did you talk him into the changes?" Talking about how he convinced Landry would give her time to think of a way to bring up how the changes could affect them.

John began to blush, then turned pale. "Well, if you remember, I told you I negotiated."

"Yes, you told me you got a trip through the Stargate in exchange for agreeing to return to Earth when needed."

"Yeah, but that wasn't all of the negotiation." John stopped there. He still felt too uncomfortable to talk to her about the other concession he had made.

"The policies?"

John nodded. "He agreed to consider some changes I suggested. He accepted them before I left, so they were sent along with us."

"John what did he ask for?"

He sighed. "I'm uncomfortable telling you exactly what they wanted. Suffice it to say that I provided it. ."

She considered again what she had reread that afternoon. The changes were substantial and would change many relationships. He must be aware of the potential impact on their own relationship. But at what price? She moved to stand closer to him and put a hand on his good arm.

"John, what did you have to do for those changes?" she said softly but firmly, looking straight into his eyes.

He didn't answer at first, looking away from her to the ocean where the last rays of the sun were sinking behind the horizon. When he looked back, his face was pale in the twilight. "Yes, I had to do something for them, but I feel embarrassed and disturbed when I think of it. I would rather not talk about it right now. I promise to tell you eventually, but I'd like the embarrassment to fade some before I do. Please drop it, Elizabeth." He looked away from her again, and his arm under her hand was tense.

Elizabeth nodded though she thought he looked more upset than embarrassed. She fell silent. She moved her hand from his arm but did not move away from him. They both looked out at the sea, now reflecting the last orange and pink of the sunset in its ripples. The tension between them eased somewhat, but the question of their relationship was like an elephant in the room. Finally, Elizabeth got her thoughts together and decided to cut to the chase.

"These policy changes could affect many people on Atlantis."

John nodded. "I realize that. But as I explained to General Landry, people want to obey the rules, but some rules don't make sense so far from home. So rather than set up a situation of folks sneaking around, I told him it would be better to face the facts and work around them. We're in another galaxy. There is no real leave time to go home and check in on a family or maintain a relationship. But humans need support, and relationships will form. With the new policies, we will know where those relationships are forming and be in a position to protect the mission. If they were kept secret, their existence would become obvious at the worst possible moment. On the military side, where such relationships can get dicey in a combat situation, I can move people between teams so that a couple isn't faced with the types of choices that have to be made at the spur of the moment."

Elizabeth considered his words and thought they made sense, but she was suspicious. "That sounded rehearsed."

"Well, I had to marshall some arguments for General Landry, so, uh, I wrote it down." He looked a little sheepish.

Elizabeth was impressed. John had obviously put a lot of thought into these policies. It made her wonder if he had seen the seeds of relationships in some of the existing teams.

"OK, fine. But that doesn't explain the special section on the leadership."

John was silent for a long moment. This was what he was afraid of. "I thought that, well, since Atlantis is not strictly military, something should be said about the leaders."

Elizabeth nodded though she was getting frustrated at this little dance they were doing. She decided to stick her neck out a bit. "Did you have any specific examples in mind?"

It was John's turn to be silent as he considered his answer. "Um, maybe. I just thought that, given our tenuous status in this galaxy, some people might appreciate the opportunity to explore possibilities rather than risk leaving things unsaid."

Elizabeth flashed back to her time in the infirmary. John's words echoed those of Carson when he was encouraging her to take care of herself. Could John be worried about unstated feelings? She was quiet, again. Then she remembered the sexual harassment policy that was included in the packet.

Facing the ocean, dark now with just the twinkling of starlight, she commented, "You know, according to the sexual harassment policy, a supervisor should never make the first overture in a personal relationship with a colleague."

She kept staring at the ocean as she felt John tense beside her. "So, uh, that means you, uh, couldn't, um, make the first move."

She nodded. "If I want to pursue something, I have to show interest without looking like I'm forcing the issue. It's a tight line to walk, and one of the main reasons such relationships are frowned on in corporate and government circles." She carefully moved closer to him. "But I agree with you that here in Atlantis, such complete restrictions make no sense. We need to continue to guard against unwanted advances, but if both parties are interested, it would be better to be up front about it."

John looked down at her. Her curls were stirring in the evening breeze. Her face, however, was in shadow, and he wasn't sure he wanted to continue this conversation if he couldn't be sure of her reactions. Taking her hand, he moved her back toward the windows of Atlantis so he could see her face, but they would still have some privacy. Stopping a few feet away from the doors, he turned her to face him.

"Elizabeth." He paused again, looking away. This was so difficult! He finally looked back at her and found her eyes focused on him. He reached up, again, to tuck a curl behind her ear, and took a deep breath. "Elizabeth, is there, uh, a possibility that, um, you might want to, uh, would you consider, er, a, um, . . ." God, this was hard! He looked into her eyes. "Is there a chance for us?" There! He'd said it. He'd sounded like he was sixteen again, but he'd said it. Blushing, he closed his eyes so he wouldn't see her embarrassment. Instead, feeling her hand on his face, he jerked them open.

"Yes, please John," she said, smiling up at him then running her thumb over his lips lightly.

John didn't need to be told twice. He reached out to cup her face in his hand, feeling her turn into the caress. Moving her head just a little, he leaned down and placed a feather-light kiss on her lips. As he moved away to be sure he hadn't misinterpreted something, he felt her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him back toward her. This time, her lips were on his, firm and confident. His hand slipped down her back and around her waist to pull her to him as he deepened the kiss.

When they came up due to a mutual need for air, he leaned his forehead on hers. "We should probably take this slowly," he said softly.

Elizabeth nodded back. "Do we want to be open about it?"

"How do you feel about that?" he said as he pulled her to him again. She snuggled up to his right side, one arm around his waist, and her head on his shoulder. He buried his face in her curls.

"Well, I'd like to keep things quiet for awhile, until we're used to each other. Even after that, I think we should be discrete. After all, we will be setting an example."

John smiled into her hair. "I guess this means no wild passionate kissing in the gate room, right?"

"Right," she said. He could feel her smile against him.

"What about less obvious PDAs?"

"PDAs? Personal digital assistants?"

"No, public displays of affection."

"Oh," she said, and pondered his question. "Well, none right away. Then maybe we can try out a few things like, uh, . . ."

"Handholding?"

"OK, handholding."

"Brief hugs?"

"Uh, well, maybe under certain circumstances, . . ."

"Carrying you off to the mess hall?"

"John!" she said, playfully punching his good arm.

He pulled her closer and kissed her again. Moving back, he sighed. "I really wish I had two good arms right now."

Elizabeth smiled, tracing his face with one finger. "Just another good reason to take it slowly." She paused at his lips, kissing him again, lightly. "You realize we will have to talk about a lot of things."

John sighed. "I know. And I think you realize I'm not good with these kinds of talks."

She nodded, smiling. "Yes, I got that impression."

John snorted. "Be nice."

"I'm always nice," she responded, leaning into him. "But there will be some serious questions and we have to be ready to answer them if they come up."

John was quiet for awhile, just relishing the feel of her in his arm.

"You know, the biggest question will be whether a relationship interferes with our ability to lead. We won't know that until we've been together for awhile. We'll have to prove it to the others."

She looked down. "Yes, I realize that." Then she looked him straight in the eye, a determination visible in her face. "But the alternative is never knowing. I've lived with that for too long."

"Me, too," he said, pulling her close and kissing her again.

The kiss grew somewhat desperate as each remembered the six weeks of uncertainty. Pulling back, he once again buried his face in her hair. "Don't forget what I said. I will always try to come home to you."

She clutched his shirt, burying her face in his chest while he stroked her back, placing light kisses in her hair.

Finally raising her face to him, she was about to say something when her stomach growled.

"Was that you?" said John, with a mischievous smile.

"Yes. What a way to ruin the moment," she said, sheepishly, leaning her forehead back against him.

"Um, that's OK, I think we were getting to a tough decision point anyway." John started stroking her back again, letting her know things were alright."

"Decision point?"

"Food or, uh, something else."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You have only one arm and you wanted to take things slowly."

"Hope springs eternal? Necessity is the mother of invention?"

"Bread is the staff of life. Come on. I'll even cut up your meat if you need it." She was smiling, and the joy in her face was tangible.

John smiled back, opening the door for them. "Sounds good. I'm not sure I like Ronon having a knife that close to me, anyway." They left the balcony, not hand in hand, but closer than they had been, and at peace with each other.

**TBC**

**Reviews appreciated!!**


	24. Goodbyes

**Goodbyes **

Alterra, as they called the planet that was home to Atlantis, spun lazily outside the jumper's front window.

"It's beautiful," said Colonel Edward Sheppard, softly. He had jumped at the chance of one more ride in the jumper. When John said he wanted to take his father into space, he was even more eager. Now, riding in the co-pilot's seat with John at the controls, he seemed mesmerized by the view.

John smiled softly, remembering his own complete joy at finding the small ships and having them respond to his every thought. His sling had been replaced with a figure of eight bandage that held his shoulders back but gave him the freedom of movement to operate the jumper controls. Beckett had been reluctant to let him go, but after sufficient assurances that they wouldn't go off world, he capitulated with the usual grousing. John was glad he had insisted on doing this one last thing for his father.

"You know, I applied to the astronaut program."

John glanced quickly over at his father. "Really? You never said anything."

"By the time you came along, the slots had been filled long ago and I got over my disappointment."

"Yeah, I considered applying for the shuttle program but there were so few slots I didn't think it was worth it. Glad I didn't now," he concluded, looking at the stars that were more brilliant in the clear vacuum of space. "I would probably never have made it to Atlantis."

"It's funny how things work out. Your mother and I wanted children so badly, and we got you. And I've never regretted it."

John was silent for a moment. "But we had our problems. We've hardly spoken in the last twenty years."

Edward sighed. "I know. And if I could take it back, I would. I think it was a combination of losing your mother suddenly, handling it badly, and the regular stresses of you becoming an equal and not just a son. I just took advantage of the long absences our careers created and never forced the issue." He paused, looking down. "I regret that now."

There was a pause before John said, quietly, "You're sure you didn't feel differently about me because I wasn't your real son?"

"John, you are my real son in every way but genetic." He stopped a minute and chuckled. "In fact, I remember your mother looking at you and saying you had my stubborn streak. I responded that you had her eyes. She looked at me funny, then I realized what I had said. We had a good laugh at that." He paused again. "We rarely remembered you weren't ours genetically."

He paused for a moment, studying his silent son. "This really bothers you, doesn't it."

John concentrated on setting the autopilot while he thought of his response. When he was satisfied that the jumper was stable, he turned slightly in his seat to look at his father.

"Well, yeah, in some ways it does bother me. But before I go on, tell me why you came to the SGC?"

"I told you. Landry came to get me."

"Did he say why?"

"Uh, well, he said I should know what you've been doing for the last two years."

John thought about that a minute as well as the timing of the visit. "Am I right that you'd been at the SGC for about three days before we saw each other?"

Now Edward stopped to think. "Yeah, that sounds about right. John, what does this have to do with your adoption?"

John looked down at the dialing device, convinced he knew what had happened.

"I've been wondering about the timing of your visit, and I think it has something to do with what they asked me to do for them in exchange for coming back to Atlantis. They didn't know I was adopted at the time."

Edward was silent, watching his obviously uncomfortable son. "And?"

"They wanted to keep me on Earth. It seems the International Oversight Committee became nervous when they couldn't find anyone to operate the chair when the wraith arrived. Then I show up with Rodney, and we take care of things. The usual bureaucratic military result was to try to keep me on Earth."

Edward let out a low whistle. "I somehow don't think you would have accepted that very well."

John gave a half laugh. "No, I wouldn't. So, Landry came up with a compromise." He paused again and took a deep breath. "I still have trouble talking about it." Another pause. "He asked me to become a sperm donor so they would have more people on Earth with the gene."

Edward was stunned.

"You can close your mouth, Dad."

"I thought the gene therapy was going to take care of that need."

"Well, it appears the folks with the gene therapy can't operate the ancient equipment as well as I can, so they wanted the real thing. The upshot is I've fathered children I will never see." There was a strange hitch in the last part of that speech, and John suddenly found something fascinating on the floor of the jumper.

"I see," said his father. "So you've been wondering how I felt as a father to a child that wasn't my biological son."

"Yeah, something like that."

"John, it's not exactly the same thing. The families that receive your, uh, donations, for lack of a better word, will be providing half of the genetic material. So the child will be the flesh and blood of the mother at least. Are these families with other children?"

"I think three of them had children. There were two childless couples who had been going through fertility treatments."

"Well, for the ones with children, your child will be incorporated into a family. I know the Air Force. They will have checked on how those kids were treated before they accepted the family in the program. In the case of the childless couples, you know your child will be wanted. Fertility treatments can be very draining, and a couple has to really want a child to go through with them. I don't think you need to worry about those children. Not only will they be genetically special, they will hold a special place in a family that wants them badly, much like you did with us," he concluded, softly.

There was another pause between the two of them. "But that still doesn't explain why they would have wanted me to come. They didn't tell me anything about this plan of theirs."

"Well, um, that may be my fault. I was upset when they first asked, and I may have said some things that implied our relationship wasn't the best."

"Oh?" He wasn't going to let John off the hook after a statement like that.

"Uh, yeah, I said something about not wanting any little unwanted or, uh, unloved Sheppards running around without fathers." The dialing device was once more fascinating.

Edward was quiet for a moment digesting this. "And you think they might have jumped to the conclusion that you were unwanted, unloved, and fatherless?"

"Um, maybe."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"What happened happened, but I think I can put a different spin on most of it. I understand more about the military now, and I know a lot of the absences weren't your fault. I definitely don't feel that way now."

"Well, I guess that's all I can ask for." Edward looked away into space. He had many regrets from his life, but the biggest was his relationship with his son. He was thankful he had been given this second chance.

"I also had trouble with the donations because you drilled it into my head to be responsible and to take precautions. This just seemed wrong to me."

"You were sixteen when I gave you that lecture, John. You'd just been on your first date and had come back with your t-shirt on wrong-side out and a stupid grin on your face. What was I supposed to think? You needed to hear that then, but not necessarily now."

John had a half smile on his lips. "Yeah, she was something else. And I remember going out and buying a year's supply of condoms after that lecture." They both smiled at the memory.

John turned serious again and looked up at Edward, wanting to see the truth of what he said. "Do you think I was wrong to provide my DNA?"

"No. You provided a service to your country, your planet, and at least two very grateful families. Why is that any different than giving your life? I know you've been willing to do that."

That gave him pause. "So I guess I gave the gift that keeps on giving?" he quipped.

Edward smiled, glad for the release of some of the tension that had built up in the jumper. "Yes, that's one way to put it." He looked out the window again then suddenly turned to John with a shocked look on his face. "That means I'll have some grandchildren I won't see."

John nodded. "Exactly. Now do you see why I'm still upset?"

Now Edward nodded. "I understand. Do you mind if I speak to General Landry about this when I return? I'd like to know more about their intentions."

"Actually, I'd appreciate it. And let me know if you get any information." John had turned back to the controls and was initiating the heads up display to show their reentry trajectory.

"Uh, John, since we're discussing serious things, and we won't have much of a chance to do so for awhile, I was wondering if you'd like me to return Corporal Williams's ashes to his family. After all, I was technically in command when he was killed."

John thought about that for a moment. "You know you can't really tell them what happened."

"I realize that. I thought it would be something I could do for you since I'm going back to Earth anyway."

John looked over at his father and saw the seriousness in his face. He knew he would handle the notification correctly, so he nodded. "Thank you. I would appreciate it if you would do it. It might be some time before I get back again."

Edward nodded. Their orbit had taken them around the planet again and they were seeing the sun rise over the ocean. He decided there was time for one more important question.

"OK, last question. What's the situation between you and Dr. Weir?"

John blushed, but he realized that after Edward had witnessed their kiss on the balcony, he would have to be curious. "Well, we're still not sure. As part of the deal for my DNA, General Landry agreed to some changes to the fraternization policy that I suggested. Essentially, it is OK to have a non-professional relationship as long as it doesn't mess anything up. That opens up a way for Elizabeth and me to, well, be together, I guess."

Edward studied his son's profile. John wasn't smiling. If anything, he was concentrating, but not on the jumper controls. "This is serious for you, isn't it."

"Yeah, it is." He checked a few more settings then paused and glanced at his father. "I think I love her."

Edward could see the sincerity in John's eyes and smiled at him. "Well, then good luck, John. I got to know her while you were unconscious. We shared the late shift for a few nights. She's an amazing woman."

"That she is, sir." His half smile was back, almost as if he were pleased to have his father's support.

"So you keep me informed on how things go, OK?"

John smiled at him. "I guess that's OK."

Edward smiled back as John began a long, slow descent to the city followed by a quick set of loops and a corkscrew before he got there. They were both laughing by the time they got back to the jumper bay.

Two days later, John was headed toward the gate room, carrying the ashes of Corporal Williams and a small flat black box with his good arm. His father had been on Atlantis for a total of five weeks, but John still felt that he had only just begun to show his dad around. When he got to the control center, he found his father already there, talking to Beckett, Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney. His duffle was at his feet, ready to go. Wasn't that man ever late? John shook his head, wishing he had gotten that habit from him. Elizabeth was coming down the stairs to join them.

"You know, you could stay another week. We call back every Friday."

Edward Sheppard looked at the military commander of Atlantis, his son. "I know, but I've already been away longer than I had planned. I should get back."

Beckett held out his hand to the older colonel. "It's been a pleasure. Come back any time. And thank you for not requiring my services."

"Thanks, Carson, and thanks for taking care of my son. I know he can be a handful."

"Aye, but we wouldn't have him any other way."

"I beg to differ," said Rodney, also shaking the older man's hand. "After all, if he'd just be more careful, I would have more time in the lab to solve the really important problems rather than pulling his fat out of the fire and sitting around the infirmary waiting for him to wake up."

John rolled his eyes. "Oh, puleeze! Like you never hit the infirmary."

Edward laughed, having learned to appreciate Rodney's and John's interaction, and turned to Ronon. The Satedan just nodded and Edward nodded back, a sign of mutual respect.

Teyla walked up to Edward and placed her hands on his shoulders. Fortunately, Edward had seen this gesture before and was able to respond as she placed her forehead on his. "I sense in you a true friend, and I am glad to have had the opportunity to know you."

"Thank you, Teyla. I, also, have enjoyed getting to know you. I will miss our sparring matches."

Finally, Elizabeth stepped forward. "Colonel Sheppard, I want you to know it's been a real pleasure having you in Atlantis," she said, formally, extending her hand.

"Thank you, Dr. Weir," Edward responded, equally formal as he took her hand. Then he surprised her by pulling her to him in a bear hug. "Thank you, Elizabeth, for everything."

Elizabeth was only surprised for a moment. She hugged him back, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Edward, for being here."

"Yeah, John, you really need to stop occupying that bed in the infirmary. You're giving the young lady gray hairs."

"Yeah, I'm trying. I'm just not sure why these things keep happening to me."

Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow and looked back at Edward. "Sometimes I think there is a band of evil people who like to sit around just thinking up mean things to do to him."

"Dr. Weir, it's time," called the technician.

"Thank you, Chuck." She looked back at Edward one more time. "Come back if you can."

"I'd like that," he said, giving her a smooch on the cheek as she pulled away from him.

She turned to climb the steps to the control room.

John finally walked up to his father and handed him the urn. After Edward had put it carefully next to his duffle and straightened up, John handed his father the black flat case. "Uh, Dad, I want you to keep this for me." His father opened it, knowing what he would find inside: John's medal. "I won't have occasion to wear it here, and I have the ribbon for my uniform anyway. I don't want it lost, so I thought the safest thing to do would be to give it into your keeping."

Colonel Edward Sheppard studied the symbol of his son's heroism and leadership. He looked up at a man who was becoming comfortable with command but who still worried about the large burden of the safety of his expedition. He knew his son was up to the task.

"Sure, I'll keep it for you. But that means you have to come home to get it."

John smiled at the implication. His father wanted some assurance he would come home. "I'll do my best, Dad."

John turned to the control room. "Dial Earth."

The gate lit up and the chevrons started lighting up one by one. As the worm hole was established, Edward Sheppard let out a similar sigh. "I don't think I would ever get tired of seeing that, knowing what it means."

Up in the control room, Elizabeth established contact with the SGC. "We're sending Colonel Edward Sheppard back, so please open the iris."

"The iris is open, Dr. Weir. Send him when ready."

"Acknowledged," she said, looking up at John and nodding.

John turned to his father, a little uneasy. "I feel like we barely got to know each other again."

"I know what you mean. At least now we can write, or email. Guess I'll have to finally hook up a computer," said his father, also uncomfortable.

Teyla, sensing the tension between the two men, grabbed Rodney and Ronon and led them away with Carson.

"Yeah," said John, looking at his father's discomfort, then at the ground. Suddenly, he threw his arm around his father, giving him a bear hug, or as much of one as he could with one arm. His father was stunned a moment, then returned the gesture. "I love you, dad," he whispered, almost as if ashamed, "and I'll keep in touch this time."

"Thanks, John. Always remember I love you, son, and you always have a home."

Pulling back, John's eyes looked suspiciously bright as he glanced at Elizabeth, still in the control room. "That's good to know, but I think you understand now why this is home?"

His father grinned. "Yes, I can see its attraction." Slapping him on his good shoulder, the older man leaned over to place the medal box in his duffle, then picked it up along with the urn. "Good luck, John. I'll see you soon." He turned to the event horizon.

"Thanks, dad. Take care."

Edward Sheppard stopped just at the gate and turned for one more look around. He caught Elizabeth's eye in the control room and smiled at her nod. His son's face was the last thing he saw as he stepped through to Earth.

"General Landry, Colonel Sheppard just stepped through. I am now transmitting our reports of the last week."

_SGC, Cheyenne Mountain Complex_

"We've received your reports, and Colonel Sheppard has arrived safely. Thank you, Dr. Weir. Landry out."

General Hank Landry looked up as Colonel Edward Sheppard stepped off the ramp at the SGC. "Colonel Sheppard, please report to the infirmary."

Edward looked up and nodded at Landry before he began to make his way to his medical check.

Landry was in his office later when Edward knocked on the door. "Everything check out?"

"Yes sir, they took good care of me, so there was nothing to worry about. Sir, do you have time right now, I have a few questions."

Landry pushed away the report he had been reading and gestured to a chair in front of his desk. "Of course, Colonel. What can I do for you?"

Edward Sheppard sat down, fully prepared to find out exactly what the Air Force had in mind for his grandchildren.


	25. Taking it slowly: Irresistible

**A/N: Thanks for your patience. The papers are done for the semester, and I am six hours closer to my degree. Also thanks for the reviews. Some seem to think this story is done. I still have about two chapters and an epilogue left. I hope to finish before the start of next semester (in one week!)  
**

**A/N: Here begin spoilers for season 3. This chapter: Irresistible.**

**Disclaimer: The characters are owned by others. No copyright infringement is implied.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Taking it slowly: Irresistible**

Life on Atlantis continued as usual with one slight modification: the leaders were developing a relationship.

As they decided, they were taking it slowly. With John's shoulder situation, this was not much of a problem. They developed a kind of routine. He would drop by her quarters after his run to escort her to breakfast. She had given him grief at first, wanting to get to work. He had had to remind her of Beckett's concerns and flash the perfect pout before she gave in the first time. After that, it became a habit. They might or might not meet for lunch since it was never a sure thing where they would be in their respective duties. John always, however, stopped by her office at 7:00 pm to escort her to dinner. Then they returned to her quarters by way of a balcony. In other words, they were dating.

Their presence as a couple at two meals a day had not been noticed at first since they often ate together. Gradually, however, some differences got folks' attention. There were no sudden displays of affection. Instead, little things, like a touch on his forearm, a hand at the small of her back, a certain concern that hadn't been there before-- all set the tongues wagging, but so far the response seemed positive. There had been no open discussion of the policy change, but they could tell people knew about it from the relaxed way in which they accepted the new arrangement.

Elizabeth had acquiesced to this level of attention. In fact, she welcomed the chance to see him every day. John didn't push her, except to eat, and gave her plenty of room to adjust as needed. In return, she was trying not to push the "talking" thing, yet.

Which is not to say they hadn't talked. Their balcony time became their personal time. John would have been fine just holding her and watching the sunset. Elizabeth, however, was realizing just how much she did not know about this man, even though she had read his file. So she wanted to talk.

She was convinced it was easier to get blood out of a turnip.

At first she had felt hurt that he wouldn't talk to her. Gradually, however, she began to realize he was like this with everyone. In fact, the smiling, sarcastic, friendly demeanor he displayed on a daily basis masked a much more serious man with unknown depths, a man who was, in some ways, hidden. Elizabeth's curiosity was at an all time high.

As a first attempt, Elizabeth had talked, offering information about herself hoping to encourage John to reciprocate. And John had listened, but offered nothing. When that arrangement didn't satisfy Elizabeth's curiosity, she decided to play Twenty Questions as a way to break ice. Sometimes things turned silly:

"_What's your favorite color?"_

"_Black."_

"_That's not a color."_

"_OK, how about red?"_

"_Hmmm, that's my favorite color."_

"_Oh, really?"_

Sometimes, she got lucky and found out something interesting.

"_Where'd you graduate from high school?"_

"_Hmmm."_

"_You don't know?!"_

"_I'm trying to remember which one I finally graduated from."_

"_How many did you go to?"_

"_Three."_

"_You went to three high schools?"_

"_Yeah, and six junior high schools."_

_Elizabeth was quiet, digesting this. "So this was because your father moved around?"_

_John snorted. "You could say that."_

"_How did that work?"_

_John was quiet for awhile. "Well, my mom and I got pretty close as a result. She was always there to be sure something was constant."_

"_I mean at school." She turned to look at him. "Junior High kids can be cruel, and everyone is trying to fit in. How did you do it?"_

_John shrugged. "I guess I just made people laugh and they accepted me pretty quick."_

"_So you were the class clown?"_

"_Hadn't thought of it that way. I just got to know people quickly."_

"_So you have friends from all over."_

"_I didn't say that."_

"_You didn't make friends?"_

"_I just wanted to be OK until we moved again."_

And sometimes she felt like she was playing Minesweeper. Once, she tried to find out something about how he felt about relationships, and started with Rodney's teasing.

"_Come on, I thought you were Captain Kirk, a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy."_

_John stiffened slightly and reached up to scratch his neck, casually moving slightly away from her. Elizabeth was aware of what he did and realized she must have hit another of the land mines in John's makeup. _

_After a long pause, John said, "It wasn't quite like that, at least not intentionally."_

_Elizabeth held still, not invading his space. "Why don't you explain it to me."_

_John's hands grasped the railing as he looked out to sea. "That whole idea is something McKay came up with, and I really hate the comparison with Kirk." He was silent again._

_Turning to face him, but still keeping her distance, Elizabeth nodded. "I can understand that. But why would he say that?"_

_John looked down at his hands, considering. "He started it during the whole thing with Chaya."_

_Elizabeth nodded, and waited._

_He shifted again, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation. "I guess I may have told him I had never had a really long term relationship."_

_She raised her eyebrows at that, but kept quiet. That one line explained his caution around her._

"_As you know I was a military brat. I guess I, uh, discovered girls in junior high. Unfortunately, the six junior high schools, followed by three high schools meant if I got interested in a girl, it was a given that I would leave."_

_Wow, thought Elizabeth. The teasing, sarcastic façade made even more sense. She'd forgotten that the moves would have happened just as he was learning to make long term friendships. _

"_After high school, I went straight to the Air Force Academy, and the regulations did not exactly encourage relationships outside of the military. Every summer was spent in training or assignment somewhere else, so I still wasn't somewhere permanent. Then came the round of assignments. You've seen my record. Most tours were around two years. Of my sixteen years in the Air Force, . . ." He stopped and appeared to count on his fingers. "OK, I've spent about ten in foreign postings including such lovely areas as Afghanistan, Saudi, and Kosovo." He paused again. "You know, I just realized that in, um, six months, this posting will be the longest I've lived in one place since, well, ever."_

_Elizabeth moved to stand closer to him, and this time he didn't move. "I didn't realize, John, just what the military life could be. The diplomatic life is similar, but the postings are longer. There was time to make friends close enough to keep."_

"_Yeah, that is the problem. I guess Rodney is the closest I've had to a best friend." He looked at her then. "There's another thing. If I needed to leave, where would I go?" Then, in almost a whisper, "Atlantis is home."_

_Elizabeth tucked her hand in his. "Is that why you wanted to take things slowly?" she whispered back._

_He nodded. "This has to work."_

And sometimes he asked a few things.

"_Tell me about Simon."_

_Now it was her turn to be quiet._

"_Simon was, …, safe, I guess. We met at a diplomatic function. He's a doctor, that is a medical doctor," she responded to John's raised eyebrows. "We just began going out, and one thing led to another. At the time I left, we had been living together for about three months." She looked down at her feet. "I left him a video tape."_

_John nodded. "Did you see him when we went back?"_

"_Yes. I even got permission for him to return with us." She looked up at him. "Beckett told me he wouldn't sign the blanket commitment for one year. When I asked him about it, he, …" she looked away. "He said he had found someone else." She reached up to brush away a tear, unsure why it still hurt so much._

_John reached over to her and gently took her hand. "I had wondered during the trip back. You seemed more subdued. I'm sorry," he concluded, softly._

_Elizabeth smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. "Thanks. I'm not sure why it still hurts, but now I'm glad he didn't come." She looked straight into his eyes so he wouldn't doubt her word._

"_Yeah," he drawled, pulling her closer to him. "That would have made this awkward," and he cupped her face and kissed her. As she returned the gesture, the intensity increased until they were both breathless._

_Leaning her forehead on his chest, Elizabeth smiled to herself. "Yeah, especially since you kiss better than he does."_

_John gave her one of his cocky grins. "Really? Then I guess I should keep practicing so I don't lose my edge." _

It had been ten weeks since his injury, and Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was looking forward to getting back to active duty. Beckett had moved him to a regular sling and ordered physical therapy. Anxious to get back through the gate, he was doing everything the therapist said to do. Grimacing as he put on a shirt, he admitted that the pain still caught him by surprise.

He usually hated being confined to Atlantis, but this time hadn't been so bad. First of all, his paper work was caught up for the first time in 2 ½ years. Just having it off his desk removed a weight he hadn't been aware of. The second reason was, of course, Elizabeth.

Finally dressed for the day, John sat down at his laptop to check out his email before the briefing. He was surprised to finally have mail from his father.

_**Hi John—**_

**_Thought I'd let you know that I got my email working finally. You can reach me at General Landry told me that I could send you email through the SGC and they would upload it every time you guys sent a report._**

_**I have to admit it has been difficult adjusting back to plain old Arlington, VA. The house seems boring and there are no aliens around. I'm still amazed the military has managed to keep the SGC a complete secret, considering how many people know about it. Colonel Carter and General O'Neill gave me permission to call them any time I feel the need to talk about Atlantis. I think they want to hear about things as much as I might want to talk.**_

_**I did have a chance to talk to Landry about the children. He assured me that all are wanted, some very badly. You didn't tell me he is one of the fathers! I gather that a new, younger wife wants a child. Anyway, he told me the families were at the barbecue in August. I hadn't realized, of course. I don't remember anyone I felt funny about. I don't think we'll have any problems keeping up with his child. I also noticed Colonel Carter was looking green around the gills and running to the restroom a lot. Them too?? Jut to let you know: all of the attempts at fertilization were successful.**_

_**John, they asked for information about your relatives and I explained that you were adopted. Landry wants to try to trace your adoption. I hope you don't mind too much. I didn't see any way to object since they'll do what they think they have to do. All I provided was the hospital name, and they should have had that from your records. Sorry, son.**_

_**Well, I guess that's all for now. Tell folks hello and that I miss the city and its people. Keep in touch.**_

_**Dad**_

John filed the email in a new folder labeled "Dad," and continued to stare at the screen, deep in thought. If all the attempts were successful, they might want more. John scowled at that thought. It was bad enough the first time. But maybe they'd find he had a long lost relative with the gene. That might be something positive to come out of all of this.

Sighing, he shut down his laptop to get ready for that day's briefing. He put on the sling he was still required to wear. He was three days away from the earliest date Carson would OK him for gate travel, and he was determined to make it.

As he reached the conference room, he noticed that everyone except Rodney was there. Smiling at Elizabeth, he took a seat beside her as Rodney hurried in, still typing on his laptop. The guy couldn't chew gum and walk at the same time, but he could type on the run. Go figure.

"If we could get started?" said Elizabeth, looking pointedly at the physicist.

"Huh? Oh, yes," said McKay, looking back at his laptop. "We've come up with another four addresses that could have ancient ruins, artifacts, and, of course, Zed PMs. I was thinking we could split them between teams."

"Colonel Sheppard?"

"That sounds good. Lorne's team and Williams' team could take two. My team can take one in a couple of days," said John, looking anywhere but at Beckett.

"Just a moment, Colonel, I'm not sure you'll be ready to go off-world."

"Come one, Carson, I'm doing everything you've asked. I should be fine in a few days, and I'd like to save one of these addresses for us." He looked at the rest of his team, all of whom looked as eager as he was to get back out there.

"Carson, don't you think we can put off a final decision for a couple of days? Colonel Sheppard has been making progress, you said so yourself." Elizabeth understood John's desire, but she understood Carson's concerns as well.

"Aye, he has. If he satisfies me he is in good condition, I'll clear him for duty."

Everyone had a big smile at that concession, not the least of which was John's.

"OK, Rodney, now that that's settled, pick two of the addresses and send the MALPs today. We can brief the two teams tomorrow. Anything else?" said Elizabeth, glad to see things begin to get back to normal with her flagship team.

"No, actually, that was all. I'll get with Chuck and Zelenka, and we'll collect some data on the addresses." He was already pulling his laptop together and getting up.

Elizabeth nodded at everyone else, and the group dispersed. John gave her a big smile as he stood, but it was marred by a terrific sneeze.

"What's that? Do you have a cold?"

"Now don't go giving Beckett ideas. I think it's just allergies."

"Ok," said Elizabeth, not convinced. "See you for dinner?"

"Yep, I'll come by at the usual time." And with that, Colonel Sheppard headed off to his office. Elizabeth heard him sneeze again as he left.

After a lot of pleading, Beckett went ahead and cleared John for off-world activity in spite of his now rampant cold. As the team turned away, Teyla heard him mutter "Allergies, my arse."

The cold turned out to be fortunate, however, since it provided a natural barrier to the pheromone carried by Lucius. Other than feeling the usual aches and pains of a cold, John had the fantastic opportunity of seeing everyone on Atlantis turn against him, including the wonderful experience of being stunned by Ronon. He also decided that he didn't want a return trip to the brig any time soon.

After cleaning out Rodney's "research" stash of the plant, John went out to the balcony to check the sunset. His cold was finally easing up as a result of some decongestants that Carson gave him. That's where Elizabeth found him before heading to dinner. He heard the door open, knowing who it was, but didn't say anything.

She was also quiet as she came up to stand beside him.

"So, are you ready for dinner?"

John crossed his arms and remained silent.

"Look, I would never put you in the brig normally. You know that," she said, moving to stand a little closer.

John kept his face averted. "That's not it."

"Then what? I've already made a complete fool of myself and admitted it."

John was quiet a minute more, then said, "While I was keeping him occupied in the jumper, Lucius mentioned that you and he had discussed marriage."

Elizabeth paled then turned beet red. "You know that wasn't serious. That was the pheromone talking. Please, John, I wasn't myself." She tried to catch a glimpse of his face but he kept it turned away. Was he hurt?

"So how does it work if you're wife number eight?" He finally glanced at her and she could see his smirk and a twinkle in his eye.

"You jerk," she said, poking him in the shoulder. "You know how embarrassed I am and you aren't going to let me forget it, are you."

"Nope, I figure I have enough ammunition for several weeks." He finally reached for her, sneaking an arm around her waist, but the effect was ruined by a loud sneeze. Elizabeth pulled away.

"Come on, let's get you some dinner. My mother always said 'feed a cold, starve a fever.'"

As John followed her out the door, he seemed puzzled. "I thought that was the other way around." The doors shut on her response.

**TBC**

**Reveiws appreciated and incorporated where appropriate.**

**A/N: I have a friend who is an Air Force brat who really was in six junior highs (the older name for middle schools, roughly ages 12 to 14 for those not in the US). I couldn't think of a worse time to be moved around. **


	26. Taking it slowly: Sateda and Real World

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay. Too many other writing assignments. There are only two chapters and an epilogue left, so I hope to be finished in a few weeks. The next chapter is almost done.**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews. I use them when I can.**

**A/N: Standard disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis is the intellectual property of others. This amateur work is not intended as infringing.**

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**Taking it slowly: Sateda and Real World**

_Hey Dad –_

_Thanks for the note. Sorry to be awhile getting back to you. _

_Things around here are fine. I'm back on duty._

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard leaned back in his chair, contemplating what he could tell his father. Things had settled back into the regular routine of missions. They didn't find any ZPMs, and allies were still rare, but things moved along.

_The shoulder twinges a little, but no problem. _

Writing had never been his strong suit. He managed his reports, but there was no extra language in any of them.

_Everyone says to tell you hello. Teyla hopes you are still practicing your stick fighting. I had to explain that it wasn't an option in most American gyms. _

_Thanks for keeping tabs on the SGC project. I figured they wouldn't tell me anything so I never asked. And I'm ok about them tracing the adoption. Good luck. If they find someone else, maybe they won't need me as much._

John leaned back again. This was like pulling teeth. Maybe it wasn't so bad not having anyone to miss back home. As soon as that thought came up, he squelched it, reminding himself how glad he was to be on speaking terms with his father.

_Well, I have to get to a briefing, and I wanted this on the next upload. More later,_

_John_

_Richmond, VA_

Colonel Edward Sheppard (retired) filed the email in a folder labeled "John" and leaned back to consider how to respond. He wasn't sure John wanted to hear everything Landry had told him in their last communication.

"_Edward, Hank Landry_

"_Well, this is a surprise, Hank. How goes it?"_

"_Pretty well."_

"_Uh huh. I take it this isn't a social call?"_

"_Well, I just thought I'd keep you up to date on things."_

"_Thanks, I appreciate that, and so will John."_

"_I figured you'd be keeping up with him more. Anyway, I wanted to tell you our first attempts at tracing the adoption didn't turn up anything. The hospital you mentioned has merged about three times since then, and the records are incomplete. That was about the time they were moving to computers, and some things fell through the cracks. We're continuing, though, and I'll let you know."_

"_OK, thanks Hank. Um, is everyone still expecting?"_

"_Yes, everyone is still on track and moving out of morning sickness, finally."_

_You don't mind that I keep John informed, do you?"_

"_No, that's ok. We would have kept him apprised, but he didn't ask. Things going well?"_

"_I was enjoying my retirement before I went to Atlantis. Now things are pretty boring. Any chance of a repeat visit?"_

"_Not right now, but I'll keep it in mind. I'll check in later."_

"_OK, Hank, later."_

Now, how much of that could he put in an email?

_SGC – Cheyenne Mountain_

General Hank Landry was wrapping up his day. All but one team was on Earth, and the last team was checking out a planet not yet touched by the Ori. He looked up at a quiet knock.

"Can I come in?" Dr. Lamb looked hesitant.

Landry indicated the chair in front of his desk, and his daughter approached the desk and sat down.

"What can I do for you?"

"You wanted occasional updates on the pregnancies, and I thought I'd catch up."

"OK, is everything alright?"

"Yes, I've run ultrasounds on everyone and the fetuses are in the second trimester. The two in vitros are multiple births, one twins, and one triplets, so we don't need to worry about selective reduction." She paused and looked at the floor.

"Is something wrong?"

"Do you remember the private research project I told you about?"

Landry drew his brows together and leaned forward, his hands clasped on the desk. "I thought that wasn't going to work."

"Well, I slipped a few in with one of the in vitro fertilizations. There is a chance it took."

Landry leaned back, shaken. "When will you know?"

"I plan to perform an amniocentesis to be sure. For now, we'll just watch and be sure everyone is ok."

Landry relaxed a bit. "Do you plan on telling them?"

"Not unless it's necessary."

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

Lamb stood to take her leave. "At this point, you're the only one who knows."

Landry nodded. "I plan to keep things between us until necessary. Thanks for the update."

Lamb nodded as she left.

_Atlantis_

It was a few days later, after a briefing, that Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had his first challenge on his relationship with Elizabeth Weir. The _Daedalus_ was docked, and Caldwell had caught up on the gossip. As John exited the briefing, the older Colonel approached him.

"Colonel, could I have a moment?" As John stopped and looked to listen, Caldwell continued, "In private?"

"Yes sir, Colonel. My office?"

When the older colonel nodded, John led the way to his office, stopping to let the senior officer enter first. Things had been somewhat easier between the two men since the group debriefing, but Sheppard could sense Caldwell was in "regulation" mode.

As the door closed behind them, Caldwell turned to face the younger man. Neither moved to the desk or chairs, choosing to stand. Caldwell crossed his arms, looking stern

"Colonel, I have been receiving some interesting reports concerning you and Dr. Weir. Do I need to remind you of the policies on fraternization with contractors and civilians?"

Sheppard stood up a little straighter but not quite to attention. He had known this was coming, and he tried to calm himself to not push the older man's buttons. "No sir, I am aware of the new policies."

Caldwell started at that comment, his arms relaxing somewhat. "What new policies?"

"The latest revisions specific to Atlantis, Colonel. They were received while you were on route back from the wraith battle."

"Why was I not told there were new policies?"

"I'm not sure, sir, unless they were meant for Atlantis alone. I see no reason for you not to see them. Should I upload a copy for you."

"Yes. But back to my concerns. Are you saying your recent behavior is in keeping with these policies?"

"Yes sir."

"Explain."

John gave a small sigh. He hated talking about such matters. "Dr. Weir and I, uh,. . ." There was a long pause.

"Let me help you Colonel. You appear to have developed an unprofessional relationship."

John nodded. "We're being cautious, making sure that it does not affect good order or the chain of command."

"Is that what the new policy says?"

"Yes sir."

Caldwell was silent for a few moments. "Very well, Colonel, I'll read these policies and consider what I've heard and observed in that context."

Caldwell turned and left, quickly, leaving Sheppard to wonder what his response to the policies would be. He also wondered at who had turned them in, but squelched that thought. He needed to get ready for his next mission.

Four days later, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard stood on one of Atlantis' many balconies, reviewing that mission as he contemplated the sea. This particular balcony recently had been claimed by him and Elizabeth. They had been using several balconies for their conversations, but they seemed to return to this one more often than the others. It was on the edge of the populated parts of the city, and they could have some illusion of privacy. Tonight, as he watched the gentle swells of the ocean, images of Ronon in a cage, and later at the mercy of a wraith, filled his mind.

Having to leave a teammate behind was agony for Sheppard. And knowing Ronon would be returned to the wraith was even harder to bear. But they had come up with a way to get him back, and the Satedan was now in the infirmary, under the watchful eyes of Beckett and Teyla, so Sheppard had been able to get away to consider what had happened.

That was how Elizabeth found him.

"A penny for your thoughts," she said, coming up behind him and slipping her arms around his waist.

John turned in her arms and put his arms around her without saying anything. She let the silence lengthen, knowing he would talk when he was ready.

"I'm not sure they're worth that much."

At first Elizabeth didn't remember her comment, then she gave him a squeeze and said, "Let me be the judge of that." She looked up at him, seeing the worry in his face. "Is Ronon all right?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. Beckett has him in the infirmary overnight so the wound where he removed the tracking device can heal. Teyla is with him now." He was stroking her back, somewhat absently, and Elizabeth knew there was something else going on.

"So everything worked out fine? The hive wasn't able to follow you back?"

"No, but you know that from the briefing." He looked down, then, noticing the concern in her eyes. Sighing, he turned them so he could once again look at the sea. "Don't look so worried. It's nothing."

"Then tell me."

"It's just, …, well, Teyla was surprised we went after Ronon."

"She was? Why would she be surprised?"

"She said she has felt like an outsider many times, so she was amazed that we would go after someone who wasn't from Earth."

Elizabeth pulled back to look at his face, seeing how seriously he was taking this. "Do you think this is more of the distrust Bates had?"

He nodded. "Yeah, and I thought we had left that behind in the first year."

They were both silent, now, considering the ramifications of this.

"But there was something else."

Elizabeth leaned her head against his chest. "What?"

"Remember how I said I wasn't too good at some kinds of talks?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Yes, and I have found that getting you to talk about some things is like pulling teeth." She could feel his snort in response.

"Well, Teyla got it right. She said I lack social skills."

"What!? She said that?" Elizabeth bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Well, to be fair, I had sort of left her an opening. I was looking for a word, and that's what she provided."

"I always knew she was perceptive."

"Hey, now, none of that." He moved his head until he could kiss her forehead.

"So exactly how did this comment come up?"

"Well, like I said, she was surprised we were going after Ronon, . . ."

"Yes, . . ."

"And, uh, well, I said that I, uh, considered her, and you, and Ronon, Carson, and Rodney as my family. That I would do just about anything for any of you."

"And I have always considered you and your team as my family here. I don't know why, but I seem closer to your team than to anyone else."

John sighed. "I needed to be sure you knew that. I would give my life for any of you."

"I've always known that, John. I've always hoped you would never have to, but I've always known."

As he held Elizabeth, considering the place she now held in his life, he thought back to the conversation he had with Colonel Caldwell.

"Someone outed us to Caldwell. Has he said anything to you?"

Elizabeth stiffened. "No. I assume he did to you?"

"Yeah, he invoked the policies, but he hadn't seen the new ones."

Elizabeth considered this, then asked, "When, exactly was this conversation?"

John looked at her serious expression. "Just before the last mission. Why? Has he done something?"

She considered this. "No, it's just that he has seemed thoughtful recently. I've caught him watching me. I guess he's trying to see if this relationship is affecting my work."

He pulled her close again. "Well, we know it won't, so don't worry about it."

He looked down at Elizabeth's curls, pressing his lips to her hair. He knew that though she was part of the family he had described for Teyla, she was more to him. And he knew he would give up his life for her in a heartbeat.

As darkness fell and the stars came out, they continued to listen to the waves and take strength from each other, little realizing that the test of his promise would come up just two weeks later.

Pacing in the isolation ward, John fumed at fate. He had intervened with Beckett's treatment and touched Elizabeth, using his presence to encourage her to fight the nanites that were attacking her brain. Beckett, furious, had pulled him away from her and handed him over to a technician who had relieved him of his uniform and provided scrubs until they could be sure he wasn't infected. He didn't really care. He just wanted to know about Elizabeth.

And no one told him. He waited an hour; then two. At four hours he knew exactly how many paces it took to cover the isolation room, how many ceiling tiles there were, and how many holes in those ceiling tiles. After six hours of pacing, worrying, fuming, and railing against fate he tried banging on the door and yelling. No one came by. He couldn't get out since it was an isolation room with the requisite locks. Finally, he lay down on the bed, trying not to imagine the worst: that Elizabeth had finally succumbed and there was nothing they could do. Of course, as soon as he tried to avoid thinking of her death, thoughts of it filled his mind. She had been so still on the hospital bed it was easy for him to imagine it as the stillness of death.

He jumped up from the bed and began pacing again, fighting the stinging in his eyes. He'd give anything for someone to come by, even Cavanaugh. Now he knew he was desperate.

As he reached that point in his private monologue, he heard someone at the door and jerked around.

"We're ready to scan you now," said a fully suited technician, not aware of anything being wrong.

"How is Eliz- Dr. Weir?" Sheppard had to resist the urge to grab the man by the front of his suit and shake him.

"Sorry, sir, I just came on duty. She's not in the infirmary." The man turned to lead John to the scanner.

They had reached the scanner and the medical technician gestured for John to lie down. The Colonel again had to resist the urge to hit something in his frustration. Seeing Rodney walk by, he called out.

"Hey, McKay, where's Elizabeth?"

The scientist came over, not looking up from his laptop. "Oh, Elizabeth? I'm not sure."

Colonel Sheppard's brows lowered at the scientist's nonchalance. Putting on his best death glare, he grabbed McKay's arm and said "Rod-ney."

"Ok, ok, look, she's fine. Gee, can't even take a little joke."

"It's not funny McKay. We almost lost her."

"Yeah, well, she was released about six hours ago to return to her quarters."

"Six hours!?!?"

"Well, uh, Beckett forgot you were back here, and the technician went on a break, and, well, we're just now getting around to things. I've got to go add this data to the previous information on the nanites. Later, Colonel."

Lying down, he stared at the ceiling as Beckett moved into his field of vision.

"Ah, there ya are Colonel. Now let's see if yer little stunt is going to make us go through all this again."

John stared at the Scotsman, letting all his anger show. Beckett had the grace to look down.

"I realize we should ha' come for ye earlier, Colonel."

"You could have told me Elizabeth was alright."

"What?" Beckett looked genuinely surprised. "No one told you

"No." John was horrified to feel the stinging in his eyes again, and he looked away.

Beckett reached out and put a hand on John's arm. "I'm truly sorry, lad, I know that must have been trying for you." He gave his arm a squeeze and moved back to the controls. "But one scan and we can probably release you. So, hold still, Colonel."

Sheppard held still as the machine did its work and was glad they found no nanites. He was tired of isolation already.

"Fine, Colonel. I'm releasing you to full duty. You can leave when you want. By the way, I've told Elizabeth to take tomorrow off. I'm not sure of any lingering effects, and she's to call me if she has any."

"Any chance I can get a day off? After all, I had six hours of stress."

Carson smiled at the blatant fabrication. "Aye, lad, and let me know how she's doing."

"Thanks, Carson," said John, already halfway to the door. Figuring his uniform had been destroyed, he headed off to his quarters for a new one.

Clean and dressed, John waited for Elizabeth on their balcony. He had seen her, finally, oddly quiet and contemplating her father's watch. He knew she would seek him out when she was ready, so he just waited. The doors opened as the sun hit the horizon.

"Hey," she said, softly.

He turned and looked at her, focusing on her eyes. They were still a bit haunted, and even as he watched, they began darting around in heightened vigilance.

"Hey yourself," he responded just as softly. "How are you feeling?" He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he decided to see what she wanted.

She stepped up to the railing and leaned against it, her arms straight as if bracing for something.

"Unsettled. I still wonder what is real." She looked at the ocean, avoiding his eyes. "Thank you for saving me."

John looked at the ocean as well, moving to stand beside her, easing over to where their shoulders were just touching, giving her space but connection. "All I did was remind you that you could save yourself. You did all the work."

She turned to him, then, and forced him to look at her. "Yes, but you risked your life by touching me. You could have been infected with nanites yourself."

"Elizabeth, I told you recently that I'll do almost anything for my family. That includes you."

"So our relationship affects your actions," she said with a sad smile, turning back toward the ocean.

John reached over and turned her face to him again. "No, remember what I said. I'd do the same for Teyla, Rodney, Ronon, and Carson. You are all my family." He put an arm around her, pulling her to his side. "Besides, that's my job on Atlantis: the military is here to protect the civilians. I'm dispensable."

Elizabeth pulled back at that, grabbing a fist full of his t-shirt. "Not to me you aren't."

John began stroking her back in comfort. "I know, but regardless, that is my role in Atlantis. You, as the leader, are more important than I."

Elizabeth turned her face into his shoulder. This, then, was an example of the situation the fraternization policies were created to prevent. "So, you can give your life for me, but I can't give my life for you?"

John was quietly serious in response. "Look at our roles, Elizabeth. If there were nothing between us, you would not be asking these questions."

She sighed, knowing she was going to have to come to terms with his analysis. "I'll have to get back to you on that." She turned to face the ocean again, snuggling up to his side, her arm around his waist. "You know, I'm still not looking forward to sleeping any time soon. I don't want to wake up there."

John gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Well, what about a movie marathon. That way you can stay up as long as you want."

"But I still have work. . . "

"No, Beckett gave both of us the day off, so you can sleep in."

She looked up at him. "Well, OK, but not _Gaslight._"

"What's _Gaslight_?"

Elizabeth gave a shiver. "A man tries to convince his wife she's going crazy."

"Hmmm," said John. "I guess _The Matrix_ is out for similar reasons?"

Elizabeth shook again, even harder. "Oh, no, I don't think I could take it. Just something light."

John thought a minute then looked over at her. "OK, I think I can come up with a program. Why don't you meet me for dinner in an hour then we'll hit the movies."

Elizabeth looked up at him and gave a small smile. "That sounds good." She turned to go, but John's hand on her arm stopped her.

"You'll be fine, Elizabeth."

She nodded and left. John soon followed to check out the video collection.

At dinner, several people came by to check on Elizabeth. Beckett joined them at their table, keeping an eye on what she was eating but not saying anything. As they got up to take their trash to the receptacles, Carson held John back.

"Colonel, I'm not sure I like the brittleness of her smile. Don't forget to call me if there is a problem."

John looked down at the medic and gave a half smile. "Don't worry, Carson. We're going to watch some movies, and I'll keep an eye on her."

"She'll need some sleep pretty soon."

"Yeah, I know that, but she's afraid to sleep, hence the movies." He winked at Carson and moved to follow Elizabeth.

Beckett was a little confused by the Colonel's comment, so he made his way to the television room about 30 minutes later. As he approached, he heard Elizabeth's open laughter. He peeked in just in time to hear the following dialogue:

Doctor: "We need to get these people to a hospital."

Pilot: "What is it?"

Doctor: "It's a big building with lots of small rooms, but that's not important right now."

Once again Elizabeth's laughter broke forth, and Beckett looked over at the couch to see her within the circle of John's arm with a large smile on her face. John looked up as the doctor came in.

"Hey Carson, come on in. We're watching _Airplane._ I can't believe Elizabeth hasn't seen it."

Carson, seeing the ease between the two, decided he didn't need to be a third wheel. "Thanks, Colonel, but I need to check on a patient before I turn in. Goodnight you two."

"Goodnight, Carson," said Elizabeth, her smile much more relaxed than it had been earlier. Over her head, John nodded and winked.

Carson left knowing he would take care of her.

Later, after _Airplane,_ they watched _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_, reciting the dialogue together, followed by _Blazing Saddles, _and _The Bird Cage_. Elizabeth finally nodded off as Robin Williams began redecorating the apartment in preparation for his conservative guests.

John muted the movie and watched her sleep. He didn't want to wake her, knowing that if he did, she would become afraid to go to sleep again. So he just pulled her a little closer and found a more comfortable position, pulling an afghan crocheted by someone's mother over her. By the time the DVD returned to the menu, he was sound asleep, and the few who peeked into the TV room left the leaders to their much-deserved rest.

**TBC**

**A/N: Comments welcome, appreciated, and applied where appropriate.**


	27. Taking it Slowly: Adult Planning

**A/N: Great reviews! Thanks!**

**A/N: Usual disclaimer. Not mine, no infringement intended**

**A/N: This chapter is an accident. I had to split a chapter. So there are still 2 chappies and an epilogue to go. **

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**Taking it slowly: Adult Planning**

_Hey Dad,_

_Hope things are still going well. We've had the usual interesting time here. Had a brief scare with Elizabeth, but she's doing ok now. I'll tell you more when I next see you._

_Rodney hasn't blown anything up recently. Did I tell you about him getting shot in the butt with an arrow? As you can imagine, he was not a happy camper. I was able to razz him about it for weeks._

_Ronon and Teyla are good, and I've managed to stay out of the infirmary for six weeks now. I'm going for a record._

_Thanks for the DVDs and CDs. I became pretty popular for awhile as the only person with new stuff. Rodney and I are still playing the game. We're in about four levels and I'm ahead right now. We're thinking of having a tournament. He's good at networking these games together._

_Ronon has started asking me about hollow point bullets. Did you tell him about those? We don't have any here, and I'm not sure I can requisition them._

_Well, more later._

_John_

Elizabeth Weir jerked up in her bed, gasping for air. She quickly looked around. "Check for colors!" Gradually she was reassured to see the colors of her bedroom, the stained glass of Atlantis. Kate had suggested that method to ground her. The asylum had been white, so colors assured her she was awake.

"It's just a dream. You're safe," she told herself as she tried to calm her rapid pulse. She had beaten her alarm by 45 minutes, so there was no sense in trying to go back to sleep.

After a shower, she picked up some coffee in the mess hall and headed to her office. Her day was full but should be quiet. John's team was off-world, and she had her last checkups with Beckett and Kate.

"So how are you feeling, Elizabeth?"

She was sitting in Kate's office, looking out over the ocean. Since her experience with the nanites, she had gone back to meeting with Kate regularly, and the sessions were helping, some.

"Pretty well. The nightmares aren't quite as frequent, and I'm not as reluctant to sleep as I was."

Kate chuckled. "Evidently your movie marathons with the Colonel are becoming somewhat infamous."

Elizabeth smiled in response. "Yes, the latest one was all of the Pink Panther movies. I made it through the _Pink Panther Returns _before nodding off."

"Well, whatever works," said Kate. "I think you'll continue to have nightmares occasionally, but they will become less frequent. Keep writing in your journal. That will help you deal with the issues."

Elizabeth nodded, getting up. "Are we done? I'm due for a last checkup with Carson."

"Sure," said Kate, standing up to walk her to the door of her office. "Just don't hesitate to call me if you need anything."

Elizabeth smiled as she left. Kate had become more of a friend than a counselor, and she would not consider a visit with her a chore anymore.

As she made her way to the infirmary she was thinking about John. He was never far from her thoughts, but she had been puzzling over some things lately. The main one? They had been together for a couple of months, had become very passionate, but John still pulled back if things got too, well, intense.

Elizabeth was frankly confused by this. Yes, he wanted to take things slowly, but she thought that was mostly so the expedition could get used to the idea of them together. As far as she could tell, people had accepted them. Even Caldwell, after his one challenge, had backed off after reading the policies, and no more was said before he left on the _Daedalus. _So what was the matter?

She reached the infirmary to find Carson Beckett in his office. There were no patients, thankfully, so he was able to get some work done on his research.

"Ah, Elizabeth, ready for a last checkup?"

"Yes, Carson, I'm more than anxious to put this episode behind me."

He led her over to the scanner and helped her in.

"What does Kate say?" he said as he adjusted the controls on the ancient equivalent of an MRI.

Elizabeth sighed. "The nightmares should become less frequent, but I'll still have them for awhile." There was a gentle hum as the machine began to create an image of her body.

"I was afraid that would be the case. You let me know if you need anything to help you sleep."

"Yes, Carson."

He looked over at her as he shut the machine down. "I mean it, Elizabeth. You, of all of us, need to stay alert, and adequate sleep goes a long way to helping with that." He reached down to help her up.

"OK, Carson, I know." She adjusted her uniform as he moved away to examine the readout.

"Well, everything looks alright here: no nanites." He looked back to her. "And that's your last checkup. I don't want to see you for quite awhile."

Elizabeth was looking at the floor. "Carson, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Of course, lass," said Beckett, hooking one leg on a stool.

Elizabeth looked around then started playing with the zipper on her jacket. "Uh, does that scanner check for everything?"

"Well, it checks for what we ask it to check for, mostly tissue or bone damage. Why?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath. She would _not_ stutter over this. "Well, I realized I haven't had a pap smear or a mammogram in over two years." She raised an eyebrow at him, though her cheeks were a faint pink. "They usually suggest annual checkups."

Beckett nodded in understanding. "Well, the scanner would pick up cancer of the breast, cervix, or ovaries, but it won't check for infections of any kind. Are you having trouble?" Beckett's eyebrows drew together as he began to wonder why Elizabeth was asking.

"No, no trouble. I just wanted to get a checkup if I should."

"Well, I could do one now if you like."

Elizabeth started. She hadn't expected to do one today. On the other hand, just get it over with? She squared her shoulders. "Fine."

Beckett led her to a private room and gave her a gown. Yuck. As she changed, she was wondering what possessed her to volunteer for this today.

Beckett came back when she was ready, and took samples for testing. As Elizabeth stared at the ceiling, she wished they could find the ancient equivalent of a medical tricorder: less discomfort.

Elizabeth sat up as he was labeling the various specimens. "Carson, do you usually test for STDs?"

Beckett froze then looked over at Elizabeth. In a very serious tone, he said, "Elizabeth, is there something you need to tell me?"

Elizabeth went scarlet and looked down, her hair partially covering her face. Of course he would jump to a conclusion. "No, nothing specific." She looked up, then, more in control. "I just wanted to be sure I was virus free, and I don't think I've ever been tested."

Beckett looked at her carefully. "Alright, Elizabeth, it's just a few more tests on the same samples. I'll let you know in a day or so." He finished labeling the specimens and stood up.

"Otherwise, everything looks OK. I'll just leave you to get dressed." He left her in privacy.

Elizabeth dressed quickly and stopped by Beckett's office, debating with herself over a last issue. Finally deciding to get the information, she gave a light tap on the door. "Just one more question, Carson."

Beckett looked up, indicating a chair. "What is it, luv?"

Elizabeth picked up a paperweight on his desk and examined it carefully. "I was thinking of changing my method of birth control. Do I have the same range of options here?"

Beckett kept the surprise off of his face and leaned back in his chair. "You're on the pill now, right?"

"Yes, the low hormone dosage."

Beckett nodded. "Well, there are other pill options, . . ."

"Actually, I was wondering about a diaphragm," she said softly. She was still looking at the paperweight in her lap, so she missed Beckett's eyebrows meeting his hairline.

"Well, we can take some measurements and see if I have one in stock. Our supply is rather limited. If necessary, we can order one to be delivered on the _Daedalus._ The _Daedalus_ is due back in a few weeks, then a six week turnaround, so you need to stay on the pill until then."

Elizabeth looked up and nodded, putting the paperweight back on the desk. "."

"That's fine."

"I'll have to take some measurements, lass, before they arrive."

"OK, Carson, but I need to get back. Can we do it in a week or so?

"Sure, that would be fine. Just let me know."

Elizabeth stood up, waving to Beckett as she left. Carson's eyes followed her speculatively, then he turned back to his desk and continued to make notes on her chart, wondering what that was about.

Elizabeth Weir, meanwhile, made her way to her office. She was missing John, and he was not due back for two more days. She was always nervous when he was off world and looked for any reason to justify thinking about him.

She nodded to the crew in the control room then moved to her office. Opening up her laptop, she had a sudden desire to read John's file again. She hadn't read it for over a year, and though she had it almost memorized, she wanted to see something that talked about him.

She called up the file and began to read it. Hmm. Born January 5, 1967. That would make him 2 years older than she. Father military, colonel during the Cold War. Marital status divorced. Religious choice…. Wait a minute. Divorced? He'd never mentioned that. During their discussion of his "love 'em and leave 'em" reputation, he'd never mentioned an ex-wife. She determined to have a discussion on this topic when he got home. She settled down to re-read the entire file to be sure she had not skimmed over any other important facts.

Dr. Beckett, confused by Dr. Weir's requests, had his answer two days later. Sheppard's team had just returned, amazingly in one piece. Lt. Colonel Sheppard was the last to report to the infirmary for his checkup since he stopped to give Elizabeth a heads up on the possibility of a new trading partner. He sauntered in just as Rodney was leaving.

"Hop up on the bed, Colonel, and we'll get you taken care of," said Carson, motioning a nurse over with the blood drawing equipment.

"Great. The quicker the better," responded John, watching as Carson took his blood pressure while the nurse took his temperature.

The check didn't take long, and the nurse took the blood vials away as Dr. Beckett finished up.

"OK, Colonel, that should do it." John was now the last patient in the infirmary, and Carson was looking forward to another quiet afternoon of research.

"Uh, Carson, could I ask a question?"

The doctor stopped and looked at his most frequent patient, nodding for him to continue. If this man wanted to ask a question about health issues, he should pay attention.

"Um, Carson, when you do our checks, do you check everything?"

"Well, obviously not everything. I don't scan you routinely, as you know. Is there some problem I should know about, Colonel?"

"No, no specific problem." He licked his lips and looked down. "I was just wondering, uh, when was the last time you checked me for, uh, STDs."

Boing! The other shoe dropped. Beckett quickly looked down at the Colonel's chart so he could hide a large grin.

"Well, Colonel, we don't routinely check for them, but I can use some of the blood you just gave to do those tests. From your chart, it looks like you were last checked a year ago and nothing was found then. Are you experiencing any symptoms?"

"No, nothing like that. So a year ago, huh? OK, I should be good, then, but could you go ahead and run them again, including HIV? I'm used to the military checking regularly, and I like to know."

"Fine, Colonel. I'll let you know the results. Was that everything?"

John hopped down from the bed. "Yeah, I'm good. Think I'll go get cleaned up before the briefing." He waved jauntily at Carson on his way out of the medical area.

Carson managed to hold it together until he got into his office, then he exploded in laughter. As he settled down, he realized he shouldn't be laughing at their taking responsibility for each other's health. "Aye, I just hope they take care of each other," he thought as he put John's chart to be filed and headed to the lab with the additional test instructions.

Colonel Sheppard caught a quick shower and managed to beat his team to Elizabeth's office for the debriefing. As they all settled in, she started the meeting.

"Teyla, Colonel Sheppard thinks that these people will make good trading partners. Do you agree?"

The Athosian nodded. "Yes, Dr. Weir, I think they are trustworthy and have need of the medicines we use for trade."

"Not to mention they have excellent meat and fruits that aren't citrus," contributed Rodney, still focusing on his laptop.

Weir looked at Ronon. The man had been on the run so long that he had a good sense of people and tended to be more conservative than his teammates.

"I agree. The Oratians seem to want to trade. I would wait on complete trust."

Elizabeth nodded, glancing at John.

"OK, I'll agree we should be cautious for awhile, especially given our experiences here. I think, however, you can send Lorne with an initial offering of medicines and see what we get in return."

"That sounds good. His team is up in three days?"

John nodded. "Yes, and that should give stores time to check what we need and what we can spare."

"Anything else we should know about these people or the planet?"

There was a moment of silence, then John cleared his throat. "Um, they appear to like the color purple."

Weir raised an eyebrow, and Teyla began to explain.

"We noticed that all of them were wearing purple clothing, and their homes had furnishings of the same color. When we commented on it, they said it was the only dye they had. I was thinking we might want to send along some of my people's cloth and dyes and see if there is any interest in trading for those."

"Excellent idea. You'll get in touch with Halling?"

"Yes, and with your permission, I would like to accompany Major Lorne on the return trip."

Elizabeth glanced over at John who nodded. "We'll have some down time so Ronon can finish training this group of recruits before the next one gets here."

"Good, then we have a plan. Thank you all." She stood up, then, as did the others at the table. John held back as they moved toward the door.

"Dinner at seven?" he said with a smile.

Elizabeth nodded, smiling in return. "That should be fine."

He nodded and left, leaving her to return to her office and complete her paperwork.

She was almost done when he arrived to get her, and they made it to the commissary by 7:20. The rest of the team, and Beckett, were already there, deep in discussion. John and Elizabeth sat down in time to hear Beckett trying to explain cricket to Ronon and Teyla.

John and Elizabeth were still laughing as they put away their trays and made their way to their balcony. He let her precede him out the door, letting her see the surprise.

"John, you found a bench! But where did the cushions come from?"

"I had Dad include some in the last care package." He reached behind one side of the bench and pulled up a shoebox. "I also saved the last of the chocolate chip cookies to share." He sat on the bench and gestured for her to join him, putting his arm around her as she leaned her head on his shoulder. They had timed it right: the sun was just setting. He passed her the box, and she took a cookie before he placed it beside him within reach. They munched in silence, and he felt he had never known such peace.

"You didn't tell me you had been married."

John stiffened.

Elizabeth straightened up to see his eyes, realizing she had hit another land mine. Then again, she knew it would be.

"When you were explaining your 'love 'em and leave 'em' history, you neglected to mention that one of the ones you left was a wife." She smiled to take some of the sting from her words, but she could tell she had hurt him.

John straightened up as well, moving the box of cookies back to the floor, and standing up to lean on the rail. "She left me," he murmured.

Elizabeth rose gracefully and approached him at the railing, again giving him space. "Can you tell me about it?" she replied, just as softly.

John was silent for awhile. She could see emotions chase each other across his face. The most common was sadness, followed by disgust. Finally, when she was ready to give up and let him off the hook, he spoke.

"It was while I was in college. I had gone home during the break between summer training and classes. It was the first time I'd been home since graduation, and my dad and I were barely speaking, so staying in the house was pretty much out." He leaned on the railing, staring at the sea right below the balcony, but Elizabeth could tell he was seeing something else. "I started hanging out at some of the places I'd hung out as a senior, and I reconnected with an old girlfriend. She had just been dumped, so I got her on the rebound. I guess we comforted each other for those three weeks."

He paused. His head dropped to his chest and he closed his eyes. "She wrote me in October. She was pregnant. She was on the pill, so we didn't worry about things. Her family doctor, not knowing, prescribed Tetracycline for some infection she had. The pill doesn't work with those antibiotics, so she got pregnant. I married her at Thanksgiving."

Elizabeth was frozen in place. John with a child? Having to get married? Knowing how seriously he took his responsibilities, she knew this must be painful. She stayed quiet, though, letting him continue at his own pace.

He took a deep breath and looked away from her. "I moved her to be with me, we had the nursery prepared and names, did birth classes, the whole thing . . ." He cleared his throat. "There was something wrong with the umbilical cord and he didn't make it." A much longer pause, and John pinched his eyes. "Anyway, you get the picture. When she got out of the hospital, she went home to be with her mother while I finished up my degree. I had three weeks before I shipped out to my first assignment, and I visited them. She was so depressed about the baby. Her mother was kind, saying it was normal to feel that way and that she was seeing a therapist. The last time I saw her was at the airport when I left." He paused again, sighing. "She wrote asking for a divorce three months later. She had found someone, and wanted to be free to marry him. I also had to sign these papers for an annulment since she was Catholic and wanted to marry in the church."

Ah, that explained why abortion wasn't an option. She wanted to ask him more, but she didn't want to rub salt in the wounds she had obviously reopened.

"I'm sorry, John. I shouldn't have asked."

He straightened up, shaking his shoulders as if finishing a run. "No, I needed to tell you. That incident is something that shaped me, so you have a right to know." He turned to her, extending his hand. She took it and moved to his side once again.

"By the way, my father doesn't know about my marriage."

"Why?"

"Well, we weren't speaking, and I couldn't stand the thought of disappointing him even more."

Elizabeth wrapped her arm around his waist, giving him a comforting squeeze.

John rested his cheek on her hair. "So, what brought that up?"

"I was missing you and reread your file. I had never noticed that box before."

"OK." He had calmed, and if his eyelashes appeared damp, so what. "Anything else in there you want to ask about?" He looked at her with the ghost of his usual grin.

"As a matter of fact, have you ever told Rodney your IQ?"

"No! And you won't either!" he replied, smiling but with a serious look in his eye.

She grinned at him, and they returned to the bench to finish the cookies and the sunset.

**TBC**

**A/N: Reviews appreciated, used where possible...**


	28. Speeding things up: Common Ground

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. This was harder to write than I thought. Your comments have helped keep this going.  
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**A/N: Standard disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and no infringement is intended. **

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**Speeding Things Up: Common Ground**

_**Dear John:**_

_**Thanks for the note. Glad you're staying out of trouble. **_

_**Sorry about teaching Ronon about hollow points. He seemed very interested after I used one on your version of vampires. He had a very interesting grin on his face.**_

_**I have actually found a form of stick fighting around here. I think its Tibetan, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm pretty good thanks to the moves Teyla taught me.**_

_**Landry says the project is still going well. He mentioned that at least one of the families is getting an amniocentesis. Not sure why. **_

_**Still no luck in tracing the adoption. I had to give them a copy of our papers, but there is really nothing there.**_

_**I'll be on the lookout for more movies, and maybe some peanuts next time.**_

_**Keep out of the infirmary.**_

_**Dad**_

_SGC – Cheyenne Mountain_

General Hank Landry was in the conference room, running the debriefing for the latest team to return from off world. The news on the Ori still wasn't good. As they were finishing up, Dr. Lam entered the room, standing to one side.

"OK, people, get cleaned up and take some R&R. Dismissed," said Landry. The rest of the table stood as he did.

"May I have a moment, General?" said Dr. Lam, as Landry turned to the door.

"My office?"

"Yes, sir," she replied, following him out of the room.

When they reached his office, she shut the door behind them. Landry raised his eyebrows. "What can I do for you, doctor?"

"I thought you'd like to know the results of the amnio."

Landry sat down, gesturing to the chair in front of him. The doctor, moving closer to the desk, chose to remain standing.

"Yes, I would. So?"

"One of them took."

Landry let out his breath in a whoosh. "Which family?"

"O'Neill."

"Well, they will probably be better able to take it than others." The two were silent for a moment.

"You had said that you would consider telling them if it became necessary."

"Hum. I guess they have a right to know. Do you have a recommendation for when they should be told?"

"Well, Colonel Carter is doing well with no current problems with morning sickness. Since she's carrying triplets, however, and this is a first pregnancy, we may have to be conservative later. I guess if they are going to be told, now would be a good time. They will have a chance to deal with the knowledge."

"What do you mean by conservative?"

"Just that if she starts having any problems we may have to put her on bed rest."

"OK. Do you want to tell them, or should I?"

"With your permission, I'd like to tell Colonel Carter. She can then decide how to tell General O'Neill."

"Fine. Let me know how it goes." As she turned to go, he added, "Carolyn, good luck."

She nodded and left.

A week later, the baggage claim area in the Colorado Springs Airport was crowded as Colonel Edward Sheppard grabbed his duffle and turned to look for his ride.

"I'll take that, Colonel," said Jack O'Neill, stepping up to the luggage carousel.

"Thanks, General, but I've got it." He looked behind the General for Colonel Carter.

Jack caught the look as he led the way to the parking area. "Carter is at home. She's taking it easy every chance she can get. She's already been removed temporarily from SG-1. And by the way, it's Jack."

"Then it's also Edward. Is she doing alright?" They had reached the jeep and tossed the older man's gear in the back.

"Yeah. Morning sickness was a pain, but we finally got through that about a month ago."

"I really appreciate you inviting me out here, but I don't want to be in the way, and it sounds like you're busy."

O'Neill glanced over at Edward Sheppard before returning his eyes to the road. "Carter asked if you could come, and I had to admit I wanted to see you. She's going crazy staying at home and in the SGC all the time, and I think she's getting tired of me." The last was said with a little smirk.

The drive was uneventful, and soon they were pulling up in front of the house. Edward was remembering his last visit and the picnic that reunited him with his son. "You know, Jack, I can never repay you and Sam for your help reconnecting with John." He reached out to stop Jack from getting out of the car. "If there is anything I can do, including leave, let me know."

Jack smiled. "I think Carter has an idea, but I'll let her tell you." They approached the house and Sam Carter opened the door.

"Wow, look at you," said Edward, giving Sam a kiss on the cheek as he entered the house. "I want to thank you for inviting me out here, but, again, I want to be sure I won't be in the way. I know you're getting ready for the baby."

"Babies," said Jack, slipping an arm around Sam's expanding waist.

"We're expecting triplets," said Sam, leaning into Jack. "I've been removed from SG-1, and 'encouraged' to stay home for the last four months. I have to catch up on the Atlantis reports, and I thought you'd like to read them, too." She gave Jack a squeeze and led the way to the front room, the men following.

"Why don't you have a seat and catch up. Beer, Edward? Juice, Sam."

"Whatever you have will be fine, Jack." He turned back to Sam who had put her feet up on an ottoman. He couldn't seem to get enough of her.

"What?" said Sam.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize I was staring." He looked down at his clasped hands. "It's just I never went through this with my wife, so it's all new. You really do glow. Are you OK?"

Sam blushed at his words. "Yeah, doing well as far as the doctors can tell. They are a little worried that my first pregnancy is triplets, so they're being cautious. Hence, the staying at home thing."

Jack brought back two beers and some apple juice and sat down close to Sam. He raised his eyebrows and she nodded. Edward was wondering what was going on when Sam spoke.

"Edward, there was another reason we wanted you to visit."

Edward was silent, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"We were wondering if, well, if you would consider standing as godfather to our children?"

Edward felt a rush of emotion.

Jack continued, taking Sam's hand. "Yeah, well, you see, both of us have lost our folks, and while these kids will have lots of aunts and uncles, they will also need a grandfather." He looked over at the older colonel and saw the brightness in his eyes before he looked down and cleared his throat.

"Jack, Sam, I would be honored to be godfather to your children as well as an honorary grandfather." His smile was huge as he looked up.

Sam let out a sigh and leaned back in the chair. "Great, that's out of the way. Now, what have you heard from Atlantis? We figure it's better than the formal reports."

The three of them talked into the early evening, sharing stories, dreams, and creating a new family.

_**Dad –**_

_**Peanuts would be great. Looking forward to the next package. A football highlights tape would be good, too. I'm trying to explain things to Ronon, and one example isn't enough.**_

_**We've found some new trading partners who will give us anything in exchange for cloth in any color other than purple. It seems they have only one color dye. **_

_**Everyone is OK here. Elizabeth has been given a clean bill of health from Beckett after her little problem. If you have a chance, read the mission report. She and I are still good.**_

_**I've ordered hollow point bullets, and we'll see if I get them. I had never thought of using them on the current enemy. We'll have to work out a way to be sure they are used only on those guys since they are so hard to kill.**_

_**Is everyone OK there? I was just wondering.**_

_**John**_

Edward filed John's email and brought up a screen for a new message.

_**Dear John –**_

_**You will never believe where I am…..**_

_Atlantis_

Elizabeth Weir paced in the control room. The last transmission had not occurred, so she didn't know what had happened to John. She had sent the team as soon as Ladon had come up with a location. She just didn't know if it was already too late. And if he had aged so much, was it already too late for them?

On the wraith planet, the once again middle-aged John Sheppard, returned to health, moved back into the jumper as the wraith left. He sat down and closed his eyes in exhaustion.

It was as they prepared to leave the planet that he began to feel them. _The eyes!_ Everyone in the jumper was staring at him. Beckett moved over to his bench and began checking his vital signs, blood pressure, etc., so he was concentrating on his instruments. Everyone else was looking at him. Their expressions varied from astonishment to revulsion. There was even a flicker of suspicion on Ronon's face. After all, Sheppard had left a wraith alive.

"Who saw the transmission?" His voice came out rough, and he knew Beckett was seeing spikes in his pulse.

Beckett looked up at him, having seen his unease reflected in the readings. "Everyone in the control room: your team, me, Kate, Elizabeth, Lorne, you know, the usual." As he spoke, Beckett saw John's eyes start darting from one side to another. He was developing a fight or flight response, but Beckett didn't know why.

"Atlantis, this is jumper one. We have him and are headed home."

"Acknowledged, Jumper one. The shield is down and a med team will be waiting."

Elizabeth Weir heaved a very shaky sigh. "I'm taking a break. I'll have my radio off for a little while, then I'll be headed to the infirmary."

Chuck nodded as she left, the stark look on his face reflecting some understanding of what she would have to cope with.

Back on the jumper, Beckett was growing concerned with John's increasing respiration. "Colonel, easy there lad, you're safe," he said, as they entered the event horizon of the star gate.

As they emerged in the gate room and the jumper moved into the bay, John looked over at Beckett, his stress visible. "Look, Carson, I'm fine but I have to get out of here for awhile."

The back of the jumper lowered and everyone could see the gurney waiting for what they had expected: an old, failing John Sheppard.

"Colonel, I can understand, but we have no idea of the effect that thing had on you. I need to run some additional tests…"

"You've got my vitals. You can get the rest later!" said Sheppard, exiting the jumper. He looked around, saw Kate hovering in the background, but didn't see Elizabeth.

Beckett came up behind him and took his arm. "Colonel…"

"Carson," he said, looking the doctor straight in the eye, speaking more quietly but intensely as if willing him to understand. "I just can't right now. I'll report to sick bay in, uh, four hours."

With that, he shook off Beckett's hand, handed his P-90 and vest to Teyla, and, avoiding the reach of his teammates, he took off at a run for the exit.

Ronon looked over at Beckett. "Want me to get him?"

Kate walked over to the two men, hearing the end of the conversation, and shook her head. Carson thought a minute then agreed. He looked at the Satedan. "He said he'd be back in four hours. We can monitor him on sensors," he added, looking over at Rodney who nodded and headed for the control room. "If he isn't back in that time, I will need you to go after him." Beckett saw understanding reflected in Ronon's face.

The group dispersed back to their duties, all wondering exactly what had happened to their military commander.

Meanwhile, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard ran. He ran as far as he could, seeking escape from all the eyes, eyes of concern, surprise, disgust, suspicion. The latter really stung, but he didn't know what else he could have done. He gave his word.

When he couldn't run any more, he began to walk and finally turned back toward the center of the city. As he cooled off, he calmed and felt the usual exhaustion after an adrenaline rush. He also began to think through all the ramifications of his, essentially, death and rebirth. And as he did so, he realized he still had not heard from Elizabeth. Thinking she was just giving him some space, he headed toward their balcony to finish cooling off before taking a shower and heading to sick bay.

Elizabeth was already there. Upon arriving, she had looked around at this balcony that had become "theirs." They had moved out some personal belongings: the bench was there, a few pillows, her blanket, his t-shirt. The feeling overwhelming her, though, was loss. She had lost a lot that day. She lost the negotiation. Whether he was dead or seventy, she had lost her military commander. She had also lost a future she had only just begun to dream about. They should have had years together.

She had her arms clasped around her as if chilled and, in a way, she was chilled to her very soul. She had had to watch him die, knowing she could stop it. And something inside her had died as well. She had negotiated with terrorists, but they had a purpose, a mission, that she could use to understand and recast their demands. Kolya was just evil, wanting nothing but his own ends. With him she could find no middle ground. And John had paid the price for her inability to negotiate. She who had negotiated treaties where none had been successful had failed in the most personally important negotiation of her life. Her eyes were dry and hollow, reflecting a hollowness in her soul, a depth of pain that tears could not abate.

She heard the door open behind her. Assuming it was someone come to fetch her, she straightened up, placing her hands on the railing, but did not turn around. "I assume he's in the infirmary now. Please tell them I'll be there shortly."

"Elizabeth."

At his voice, a little rough but the same timbre, she swung around. "John?"

He strode over to her, noticing her shock. "He gave me my life back. . ." he started, but Elizabeth launched herself into his arms, holding on for dear life, as the tears that had been absent in the depth of her despair now flowed in relief. John held her tightly as if his life depended on it.

"Hey, I'm OK," he said, stroking her back, relishing the feel of her after fearing he would never do so again. It was only after a few minutes that he realized she was saying, over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. . ."

John pulled back, reaching up and grabbing her face, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Elizabeth, you have nothing to be sorry about."

"But I could have stopped it, . . ."

"No, you couldn't." He looked her in the eye, willing her to understand what he was saying through his intensity. "Kolya put you in an impossible position. We don't negotiate with terrorists, and that was what he was doing: terrorizing you and Atlantis. You did exactly the right thing."

He released her and she buried her face in his shirt, smelling the drying sweat and the scent that was just John. "

"Don't you see what this means?" he whispered in her ear, stroking her back to provide comfort.

She shook her head, not raising it from his chest. "No, what?"

He wasn't willing to have this conversation without seeing her eyes, so he gently pulled her away from his chest, once again holding her head in his hands, but more gently this time, pushing one curl behind her ear.

"We've proved it can work." He used his thumbs to gently wipe away the remains of her tears.

She searched his face, confusion evident in her expression. "What? What have we proved?"

John closed his eyes and lowered his forehead to hers. "We've proved that having a relationship will not compromise Atlantis." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Today, you proved you could accept my death."

Elizabeth jerked back, pushing him away. "Accept it, maybe, but not live with it." Her arms went back around her and the hollowness was back. "When you came out here, I was staring into a black pit that I had created, not sure if I could keep from falling in."

She turned away from him, facing the sea, but John took her arm, turning her back to face him.

"Think about this, Elizabeth! The danger in such relationships is that they could take priority over the good of the mission or group. That's why they are frowned on: they can be dangerous. You have proved that you can put Atlantis first." He kept his gaze locked with hers, willing her to understand and believe. "If you couldn't do that, we would have no future."

"But you put me first when you intervened with the nanites. Isn't that the same?"

John shook his head. "My duty is to protect Atlantis. And that applies doubly to you as the head of the expedition. I have to be willing to give my life for you, and I've known and accepted that duty since we first arrived."

Elizabeth broke eye contact, but moved closer to lean against him. "That seems so unfair."

John went back to stroking her back as she relaxed against him. "I know I have it easiest since my duty and my inclination flow together. I'm sorry. I know it sucks." He gently kissed her forehead.

Feeling his lips on her skin, she looked up, and he moved his lips to meet hers. As their lips touched, suddenly passion ignited, that primal celebration of life that comes from facing death. John started to pull back, not wanting to force things, but Elizabeth held him firmly, pressing herself against him.

"Please, John."

All he needed was permission. He pulled her to him, pressing her fully against his length as his lips crashed down on hers in a bruising kiss. But Elizabeth was ready, giving back equally, her hands pressing his back, holding him to her. She wrapped a leg around him, trying to draw him even closer, and John picked her up, moving to lean her against the wall. Her hands had moved up his back, under his t-shirt. His hands moved around and under her t-shirt in front, lightly caressing her breasts. Her hands dropped to his belt.

John pulled back, suddenly, breathing hard. "I didn't exactly come prepared…"

Elizabeth put her finger on his lips. "I'm on the pill, not on antibiotics, and disease free."

John kissed her finger, and moved his head to hover over her lips. "I'm clean too," he said, and reclaimed her in a kiss of growing intensity.

As they came up again for air, Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow. "Did you lock the door?"

John looked away for a minute then returned to caressing her face. "Yeah, it's locked."

He reached for her waistband. The next little while was a desperate blur of shed clothes and heavy breathing. They climaxed within seconds of each other, their faces buried in each others' necks.

Gradually, their breathing returned to normal, just in time for Elizabeth to hear, "I'm sorry."

She stiffened. Had he not wanted this? She began to push him away.

John looked up at her, seeing the confusion in her face. "No, no, I mean I had thought our first time should be, well, special." He looked embarrassed.

This time it was Elizabeth who took his face in her hands. "John Sheppard, I had to watch you be fed on by a wraith, age in front of my eyes. . ." Her voice caught, but she continued. ". . . and then come back as good as new. I would say that was pretty special." She followed this speech with a deep kiss, sharing with him all the emotion she had endured that day.

As she rested her head against his chin, she said, "Don't you have to report to the infirmary?"

"Crap," said John, hurriedly looking at his watch. He breathed a sigh of relief. "I still have an hour and a half. I told Beckett to give me four hours. I know he'll send Ronon if I don't put in an appearance." John leaned down and kissed Elizabeth's neck again. "We still have a little time."

"Um, John, I'm not sure you noticed, but we are standing here half naked, our pants around our ankles, and you, at least, could do with a shower."

"Ms. Weir, are you saying I smell?" replied John, easing back from her so she could lower her legs. His familiar smirking grin was back.

"Well, I just think there would be no questions about what you've been doing if you report to the infirmary like this. It would be obvious."

They began collecting their clothes, but John reached for her as soon as he could. "OK, I can take a hint. Come with me?" This last was somewhat wistful, as if he were not ready to let her go.

"Try to pry me away," Elizabeth responded, and together they left the balcony and made their way to John's quarters.

When they got there, Elizabeth moved over to a chair by his bed while John tossed his clothes in a corner, unembarrassed around her. As he removed his t-shirt, however, she saw the feeding mark on his chest and froze. For awhile, there, she had forgotten the horror that had brought them to this place, but now she was replaying, in her mind's eye, the agony on John's gagged face as the wraith drained his life. When John emerged from the shower, wrapped in a towel and drying his hair, she looked up at him, white and strained.

"Elizabeth," he said, concerned and moving over to her. "What is it?"

As he pulled her to him, she reached out to touch the feeding mark. John flinched, and she jerked her hand back. "I nearly lost you, John," she whispered.

"I know." He put his arms around her and she held on. "Let me get dressed and we can talk." He suited action to words, and was soon dressed in a fresh t-shirt and BDU pants.

Elizabeth sat on the bed, her arms clasped around herself again. John sat down at the head of the bed and pulled her against him. Gradually she relaxed, and began quietly weeping against his shirt. They held each other in silence, each trying to cope with how close they had come to losing each other.

They left for the infirmary just before John was due to report. On the way, John pulled Elizabeth into an alcove and once again took her into his arms, holding her tightly. "You don't have to stay during the exam if you don't want to," he whispered into her hair.

Elizabeth pulled back and studied his face, not sure if he wanted her there or not. Finally, she replied, "Of course I'll stay. I won't leave you to Carson's experimentation."

She had guessed right. John smiled and kissed her again. As he looked up, he noticed Ronon coming down the hall. The Satedan stopped and John nodded. He got an answering nod, and the man returned the way he came. After a few more minutes, he took Elizabeth's hand, and they continued on their way to the infirmary.

"It's about bloody time," said Dr. Beckett as the two entered the infirmary. John gave him a smirk as he headed toward a bed. "No you don't. Not yet. Here's a set of scrubs. Now go change."

John grimaced this time, heading to the infirmary's bathroom to change. When he came out, his entire team plus Elizabeth were clustered around a bed. His steps faltered.

"Uh, guys, this can't be that exciting a show."

Teyla crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows as Ronon smirked.

"You can't expect to just return from the dead then disappear and not have us wondering what's going on," said Rodney, sitting down in his usual chair and opening his laptop. "We have a lot invested in you, and I, for one, would like some return on that investment."

By this time, Beckett was walking up with a phlebotomy tray. "And just what are the rest of you doing here? This man needs some rest, not your aggravation," he continued as he placed a tourniquet on John's upper arm.

John saw their falling faces and realized how much he counted on them. "Carson, can they stay? Since this is just a series of tests, they won't be in the way, will they?"

Beckett looked up at the Colonel and over to his team. Remembering the panic in the jumper, he nodded. "Aye, that's true. But if I trip over one, they all go."

The team moved around John's bed to the side opposite Beckett. Elizabeth took his free hand and smiled at him. Seeing them and feeling her reassurance, John leaned back and prepared to endure torture by medical test, knowing his team and Elizabeth were there for him when needed.

Just as Beckett finished filling the first vial of blood he would need, he heard John say, "Carson, something's –"

Beckett looked up to see John Sheppard's eyes roll back in his head as his whole body spasmed.

"He's having a seizure! Ronon, grab him!"

And all hell broke lose in the infirmary.

**TBC**

_A/N: two more chapters and an epilogue. Comments welcome and incorporated as appropriate._


	29. Our Friend the Hormone

**A/N: Standard disclaimer: intellectual property owned by others. No infringement intended.**

**A/N2: While I look up the medical stuff I use, I get a lot wrong, and some has to be wrong for the plot. Beware. **

** -------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Our Friend the Hormone**

"Ronon, help me turn him! No, don't put anything in his mouth. Kelly, ativan, stat." Carson Beckett moved quickly into emergency mode, directing all those around him to efficiently manage the crisis.

They moved him to his left side in case he vomited so that his airway remained clear. A nurse appeared on Beckett's right with a hypodermic, and the doctor quickly injected the pilot in the upper arm.

Gradually John stopped convulsing. As Ronon released his CO, Beckett looked at the team and Elizabeth, still gathered around the bed.

"OK, I don't think I have to tell ye that a seizure is not good. I'm going to have to run some tests to see why that happened. He is goin' to be unconscious for a while, so I want all of you to get some food and rest. That goes especially for you, Elizabeth," he finished, looking pointedly at her.

The group slowly made its way out of the infirmary while Beckett and the nurses made Sheppard comfortable. Elizabeth turned for one final look only to see the nurses attaching the monitoring equipment.

When she returned to the infirmary two hours later, John was still unconscious. Beckett came up beside her as she sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"We have him stable for now, but we're not sure what caused the seizure. He has an enzyme in his blood that I assume is wraith enzyme, but it's not the one we're used to. I can only assume that giving life requires a different enzyme from taking life."

Elizabeth nodded. "He hasn't awakened?"

"I've given him a light sedative since I think rest is the best thing for him while this chemical works its way out of his system."

"And if it doesn't?"

Beckett sighed. "I don't know. We'll keep doing blood tests and regular scans to be sure it's decreasing and to determine what effect it's having on his organs." He paused then put his hand on her shoulder. "Be sure to get some rest, Elizabeth. I don't need two patients."

Elizabeth nodded as he walked away, her eyes still on John.

The next two days were unsettling. Sheppard had several more seizures, and Beckett looked worried. The enzyme was decreasing but very slowly, and the scans were beginning to show stress in his organs.

On the third day, Elizabeth was in her accustomed place by his bed. She had relieved Ronon a few hours earlier, and it was now only an hour before dawn. Carson Beckett came up to her again, his weariness evident in his bearing.

"Carson, have you gotten any sleep?"

"Probably as much as you have." They were both silent awhile, watching the unconscious pilot. "His kidneys are failing."

She looked up at him and turned back to her vigil. "You know, he came to me when he returned."

"Aye, I figured he would seek you out. I was na very happy about him running off, but I could tell he had to get away, and Heightmeyer approved. Now I wonder: if I had forced him to the infirmary could we have avoided this?" Beckett ran his hand through his hair, a common gesture if the state of his hair was any indication.

Elizabeth looked down. "I'm sorry. I needed to see him." She paused a moment. "I suppose you guessed why I asked for a checkup a few weeks ago.

Beckett smiled wanly. "Aye, especially when he came in a few days later asking the same things."

Elizabeth looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Beckett blushed. "You know what I mean. STDs, etc."

"OK." She paused again, taking John's limp hand in her own. "I'm afraid when he found me our hormones kind of took over, almost like a pair of teenagers."

Beckett smiled at the image then tensed as something fell into place. "Elizabeth, when exactly was this?"

Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow at him though her cheeks were slightly pink. "Do you want details, Carson?"

"No, lass, just a timeline."

"Well, he arrived after he had been running, and I don't know how long that was, but I had been out on the balcony for at least an hour, and more likely an hour and a half. We talked for a little while, then, things just happened."

Beckett nodded, obviously thinking of something. "So, he told me he would be back in four hours, so at least one and a half hours elapsed before he found you."

"He said we had another hour and a half. I hadn't realized he had promised you."

Beckett looked at her sharply. "When, exactly, did he say that?"

"Well, when we, uh, finished up?" Elizabeth was scarlet now, uncomfortable with the conversation.

"What did you do for the next hour or so?"

Elizabeth looked at Carson and raised both eyebrows.

"Humor me, Elizabeth, I think there's something here."

Elizabeth looked skeptical, but described the walk to his quarters, a shower, and resting.

Beckett looked like he wasn't paying attention. He seemed to be counting on his fingers then suddenly turned aside. "Branson, this is Carson."

There was a little delay, then a voice replied, "Branson here. Do you know what time it is, Carson?"

"I have an idea on that enzyme. Have you worked out the molecular structure yet?"

"Yeah, we finished it around 7 pm and knocked off for dinner and some sleep, which, by the way, I was enjoying before you called."

"Branson, listen. Does the structure have receptors for hormones?"

There was silence on the line as the organic chemist considered the question. "I think it might. Is this important?"

"It might provide a treatment for the colonel. I'll meet you in the lab. Carson out."

He turned to Elizabeth who was not sure exactly what had happened. "Elizabeth, I've got a possibility on a treatment. If you need me, call. Kelly is on duty also."

"OK, Carson, I'll stay here."

The Scots doctor hurried away, still absorbed in his problem. Elizabeth hoped and prayed he was right.

Elizabeth left around 7 to get ready for her day. John had had another seizure after Carson left, so her mood was glum. After a shower, she grabbed a muffin and began dealing with the routine of the city. Toward lunch, she couldn't stand it anymore so she packed up some of the endless reports and decided to see how hard it was to work on a laptop in the infirmary. After all, if Rodney could do it, …

Just as she approached John's bed, Beckett walked up with a syringe that he injected into the port on the IV that had been inserted in John's left arm.

"Carson, have you got a treatment?" The hope in her voice was unmistakable.

Carson looked over at Elizabeth and then back to his patient. "I'm not sure, lass, but it's a possibility. We'd been noticin' that his seizures were roughly three hours apart. In the hour immediately after a seizure, the enzyme dropped significantly. The drop slowed over the next two hours until another seizure." He stopped and looked over at Elizabeth again. "It was what you said about hormones that triggered my theory. The seizures didn't start until he was in the infirmary. Prior to that he was running, and I know from being in the jumper that the colonel was having a 'fight or flight' response to adrenaline. When he met up with you, testosterone was involved." Carson looked away as he saw Elizabeth's cheeks redden. "Anyway, by the time you got here, it had been about two and a half hours since your, um, activity, and he had a seizure about twenty minutes after arriving."

"So?"

"So, seizures cause the release of large amounts of adrenaline. It made me think that his body was using adrenaline to bind with the enzyme and remove it as it normally regulates hormones."

"So you're giving him adrenaline?"

"No, I thought I'd try testosterone first. We can keep the level of testosterone a little high without the same increase in blood pressure and respiration that adrenaline causes. I haven't given him that much, but I hope it's enough to fool his body into thinking it doesn't need another seizure."

Elizabeth grabbed a chair and pulled it over to the bed. Setting her laptop on it, she moved to the side of the bed and took John's hand. "I sure hope this works."

"Aye, so do I. We should know within two hours since he's due another seizure at some point in that time." Rechecking the monitors, the doctor gave Elizabeth an encouraging squeeze on her shoulder and moved into his office to make more notes in Sheppard's current chart.

Elizabeth settled down with her laptop, pulling up a report to read, but continuing to glance at John. He appeared to be sleeping regularly, but Carson's comment about an imminent seizure had her skittish.

At the two hour mark, Beckett and a nurse came back over and took more blood. After the nurse took it away, Beckett injected more testosterone and looked over at Elizabeth.

"So far, so good. We'll see what the lab results are then decide what we can do." He moved away, following the nurse to the lab, too eager to wait for the results.

Dr. McKay came in at that point, surprised to find Elizabeth with her laptop in his chair.

"Oh, uh, I thought you had the night shift."

"That's OK, Rodney, actually I do. I just wasn't getting any work done, and you always seem to be able to work here, so I thought. . . Anyway, Carson thinks he might have a solution."

"Really? Did he find a pig to sacrifice or something else?"

"Rodney! Seriously, he may have a cure. We're waiting on the result of the latest blood test."

At that point, Carson hurried back in, examining data on his laptop. "I think it's working. The enzyme is still decreasing and he hasn't had a seizure in three hours."

"Excellent, Carson," said Elizabeth, her face reflected her relief.

"Yes, Carson, it seems you're getting better at casting spells."

"Rodney!" said Elizabeth, again, looking at the scientist in exasperation. If she didn't know that this was Rodney's way of expressing relief, she would have slugged him.

"Yes, Rodney, the last grimoire you gave me has proved useful." Carson looked at Elizabeth and winked.

"The last what? What is he talking about, Elizabeth?" Rodney kept looking between his friends, wondering about the apparent joke. At that point, however, there was a slight movement from the pilot in the bed.

"Oh no," said Carson, moving quickly to the bedside. "I thought we were past the seizures." Elizabeth and Rodney both froze.

He began checking pulse and respiration when Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard opened his eyes.

"Hey, Carson," came out scratchy but was recognizable.

"Hi yerself. How about a little water?" responded Carson, motioning to the nurse to bring over a pitcher, cup, and straw. Elizabeth and Rodney quickly moved to the other side of the bed so they could see John.

"Yeah, sounds good." Sheppard closed his eyes, but opened them when he felt a straw against his lips. After a few sips, Beckett took the cup away and returned to checking his vitals.

"Hi there, sleepy," said Elizabeth, gently taking his hand in hers.

"Hey, 'Lizabeth. How long this time?"

"This is the third day since you came back. We were getting worried."

"Well, some of us were," said Rodney. "Others just wanted to see what strange exotic medical condition you came up with this time."

This time she stepped on his foot. "Ow, what was that for?"

Sheppard grimaced, slightly. "So, was I run over by a truck?"

Carson looked at him sharply. "What do you remember?"

Sheppard leaned back, looking at the ceiling, then suddenly appeared more alert. "The wraith. Being fed on." He closed his eyes and grimaced as his hand went to his chest.

"Anything after that?" Elizabeth reached down and pulled his hand away, retaining it in hers. He returned her grasp almost painfully.

"Kolya. Aging." His eyes opened again in shock. "Working with the wraith to escape. Is that right?" He looked over to Rodney.

Rodney nodded. "Yeah, Conan was real disappointed when you wouldn't let him kill it."

"O-Kaaaaay." John looked down at the sheet then he squeezed his eyes in concentration again. "I remember getting my life back and getting back to Atlantis, but after that it gets fuzzy."

Elizabeth tried to keep her poker face. He didn't remember? "Well, you went for a run, got to the infirmary four hours later then had a seizure."

Beckett glanced at her at the omission of their time on the balcony, and she shook her head slightly. He then turned back to John. "Sorry it took us awhile to work out what was causing the seizures."

John looked up at the doctor. "So what was it?"

"The enzyme the wraith used to give you back your life was different from the one used to take it. We found that the enzyme binds with hormones, like adrenaline and testosterone, and is removed from the body. The seizures were stimulating adrenaline production and helping reduce the enzyme levels in your blood. We treated you by giving you testosterone so that you wouldn't need to produce adrenaline."

"You've been giving me testosterone?"

"Just in small amounts to keep your levels on the high side of normal. As soon as I have another round of blood tests, I'll have an idea of how long we need to continue treatment."

John leaned back on the bed, obviously tired. "Do you have to keep up the testosterone? I mean, I have my own, right?"

"Aye, but you need a little more for a little while. Don't worry, Colonel, you'll be fine."

"OK, Carson." He managed to look over at Elizabeth again and squeeze her hand lightly. "I think I'll just take a nap, if that's OK with you. . ." he faded off.

Carson double checked the monitors as John nodded off. "Now he should rest normally for the next little while, so the two of you should go get some rest as well."

Elizabeth nodded, glad John had finally awakened, but wondering about the apparent gap in his memory. "You'll call when he wakes up again?"

"If it's a reasonable hour, yes. Now go, or I'll be putting you in one of these beds with restraints!"

"Going, going," muttered Rodney, pulling Elizabeth out the door with him. "I'm going to grab something to eat. Do you want anything?"

Elizabeth shook her head, glancing back at the infirmary. "No, I think I'll just grab something and get back to the office. The reports don't read themselves. See you tomorrow, Rodney," she finished, heading off toward the control room.

The scientist headed down the corridor, still typing on his laptop, trying to find a definition of "grimoire" only to realize he couldn't spell it.

_**Hey, Dad. **_

_**First of all, I'm fine. I figured you might read a recent report and get worried. Beckett is going to let me out of the infirmary today but I still have to rest in my quarters for awhile. It seems that no one knows what to do for someone who had the life forced back into him. **_

_**Way to go on the godfather bit. Just don't make them an offer they can't refuse. I hope you don't mind keeping up with them for me. Actually, it makes me feel a little better knowing you will be in their lives. **_

_**By the way, Rodney is back on Earth checking out some new theory, so you might see if you can touch base with him. **_

_**Well, here comes Carson. I'm more than ready to get out of here.**_

_**More later,**_

_**John**_

John Sheppard closed the laptop and sat up on the edge of the bed as the doctor approached. "Well, ye seem to be OK. The last blood work shows only a trace of the enzyme, so you shouldn't have any more problems. But if you do, call me. We don't know anything about this phenomenon, so we don't know if there will be any delayed effects."

"Got it, Carson. Rest, call if I have problems. Actually, I was just planning on dinner with Elizabeth and a quiet night."

"Dinner is fine, and quiet is a good idea. Early would be good, too. And nothing too strenuous."

"Where's the fun in that? Besides, you've been pumping me full of testosterone for five days."

"Colonel. . . "

"OK, OK, I get it. Gee, Carson, you're killing me."

"Actually, Colonel, I'm trying to save you."

Giving a snort, Sheppard hopped off the bed, grabbed his laptop, and headed to his quarters.

The next few days were boring for Sheppard. Once again, he caught up on all his paperwork. He returned to the schedule of eating breakfast and dinner with Elizabeth, and made it to page 45 in _War and Peace. _

He also began to remember what had happened before his first seizure. He didn't bring it up, but he watched Elizabeth for any change in how she acted toward him. Seeing none, he decided he owed her a special evening, so he used his extra time to explore some of the other living quarters and gather a few things he might need.

Elizabeth, for her part, was being careful to treat John just as she had before his experience with the wraith. She saw no sign that he had remembered, and she didn't want to force something he wasn't ready for. So, she swallowed her disappointment.

Beckett finally relented five days after his release from the infirmary.

"Alright, Colonel, the enzyme is completely gone from your system. You can return to full duty tomorrow."

"**Thank** you, Carson," said Sheppard, tired of the checkups.

As he left the infirmary, he tapped is earpiece. "Sheppard to Weir, Elizabeth?"

"Weir here, yes John?"

"Are we still on for dinner tonight?"

"Sure. Meet you in the mess hall?"

"No, the balcony around 7pm. And come comfortable."

As Elizabeth signed off, she wondered what he had in mind, and the afternoon dragged as her imagination ran wild.

John, meanwhile, set up what he would need that night. Sitting around for almost two weeks had given the rest of his memories time to come back, and he had given a lot of thought to how he wanted their next encounter to go. It wasn't that he regretted what had happened, and he didn't think she did either. He just wanted a special evening and an opportunity for them to get to know each other more slowly.

By the time Elizabeth changed into a soft pant outfit, John had managed to collect some food from the mess hall. He even got a few candles from Teyla who just smiled when he asked. He set them up in the new room he had found, a room somewhat separate from the rest of the living quarters. He also set up his i-pod with plenty of music from the last files his father had sent him.

Elizabeth stepped out on their balcony just as the sun was setting. John, also dressed casually, was leaning on the rail, but turned as she came out.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," she replied, joining him at the rail. "So what's going on? You seemed busy today." She looked around but didn't see anything different.

"Not that busy, but I thought you needed a break, and I'm celebrating."

"Celebrating?"

"Carson cleared me for active duty."

Elizabeth slipped an arm around him. "Great, John. But Rodney is on his way back from Earth and won't be available for awhile."

"That's OK. We can take Zelenka or another scientist, or just check out some more of the city. But that's enough about work." He looked down on her and kissed her forehead. "Now, how about some dinner."

She looked around again. "What did you have in mind?"

"I've found a little bistro, Chez Sheppard, that's featuring turkey a la sandwich, with fruit accompaniments, to be followed by the last of the chocolate chip cookies."

Elizabeth gave him a playful poke in the side. "We could have gotten that in the mess hall."

"Yeah, but not like I have planned." With that, he took her hand and led her into the halls.

"John, where are we going?"

"Patience, Elizabeth. I wanted something quiet with an ocean view."

"OK, that should be easy to find." By that time, they were a little beyond the living area, and John stopped to open the door on a room she had never seen. He brought up the lights halfway as the door opened, and Elizabeth let out a little gasp.

There were candles on a small table with two chairs next to a window looking out on a private balcony. Music played softly, not intrusive, but relaxing. As she looked around, she realized she was in a comfortable room with a sofa and soft chairs as well as the table by the balcony. A door to one side seemed to lead into another room.

"John, what is this place?"

"Why don't you look around before I answer that."

Glancing at him and seeing a gentle, sincere smile, she moved away from him to the balcony, first. The view was superb. She realized they were out toward one of the piers because she could see a large portion of the city, including the central tower. Moving to the other door, she pushed it open to find a bedroom with a bathroom attached. The bed appeared to be close to a double bed, but she couldn't be sure. This room had a balcony as well, and she approached it to find a similar view to the one from the living room.

"John, this is beautiful."

"Well, I haven't had much to do this week, so I decided a little exploring was in order. I've been thinking of upgrading my quarters, and now seemed like a good time." He was looking out the glass doors of the balcony, and Elizabeth could tell he was a little nervous.

"Well, I'd say you found some nice ones. Better not let anyone else know or there will be a stampede to move out here."

"You're the only one I've told. I'm even going to keep my other quarters so no one has to look for me;"

"Then you aren't moving?"

"No, I thought I'd keep these for special occasions."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "And what, exactly, constitutes a special occasion?"

John looked into her eyes. "Helping you relax, celebrating my return to duty." He slipped an arm around her. "And finding a special way to show you what you mean to me."

Elizabeth looked back at him, realizing he remembered their encounter. "You know that isn't necessary. I understood."

"Yes, you did, and I appreciated it. But could we start again? Just for us, and not because it's life or death?" He put his arms around her, pulling her closer and resting his forehead against hers.

"Of course." They stood there for a while, content in each others' arms. Soon, though, the strains of Johnny Cash singing "I'll Walk the Line" could be heard from the living room.

"I should have known Johnny would make his appearance," said Elizabeth, leaning back to look at John and raising one eyebrow.

"Now, now, that's not all we have. But you'll just have to wait and see." Smiling, he pulled her gently back into the living room.

The sun provided the show as they ate dinner at the small table by the balcony. The conversation ranged widely, and John was pleased to see Elizabeth gradually relax.

After the cookies were gone, and the sun had set, a slow, romantic ballad began to play. John stood up and reached for Elizabeth. "Dance with me?"

_Who can say where the road goes where the day flows only time. . ._

Elizabeth stood up, amazed he would want to, and moved into his arms. They swayed gently to the music, feeling the gradual build up of electricity between them. At the end of the song, he took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

Their lovemaking was slow, this time, without the sense of urgency. They took the time to touch and taste, experience and explore, gasp and giggle. Afterwards, Elizabeth lay with her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart while John stroked her curls. Just as she was about to succumb to sleep, she heard a very soft whisper.

"I love you, Elizabeth."

**TBC**

**A/N grimoire: a spell book; lyrics by Enya**

**_Comments welcome, and incorporated when appropriate _**

****


	30. Nightmares

**A/N: Usual disclaimer: I don't own, and intend no infringement.**

**A/N2: Slight spoiler for movie _The Usual Suspects._**

**_------------------------------------------------------------------------- _**

**Nightmares**

"No, NOOOOO!"

Elizabeth jerked awake as John's fist collided with her nose. He was still thrashing as she sat up.

"Stop it! Stoooooooop." His hand began to claw at his chest.

"John, John! Wake up! It's just a nightmare!" She grabbed his hand to keep him from hurting himself, while placing her other hand on his face.

John's eyes flew open, and Elizabeth was astonished to see tears there. He was panting, hard, as if he had run several miles.

"Elizabeth?" he whispered.

"Yes, John, I'm here." She released his hand and settled back beside him. She reached out to stroke his arm, his face, anything to offer comfort.

John sat up abruptly and swung his legs out of the bed, sitting on the side, scrubbing his face in his hands and then running his hands through his hair. Elizabeth reached out and touched his back. Feeling him tremble, she reached around to hold him from behind, saying, "It's going to be OK; it was just a nightmare."

"Yeah, but it really happened," he replied, shaking off her arms.

"Tell me."

"No, Elizabeth. Only one of us needs these particular images. I'm not going to inflict my nightmares on you."

"If it was the wraith I already have those images," she said. "Talking about it could help."

"Drop it. Elizabeth!" It was said in his commanding voice, a voice he rarely used with her. Standing up abruptly he headed toward the bathroom, shutting her off by shutting the door and turning on the water.

Elizabeth was stunned. In something of a daze, she got up and began gathering her clothes. Her first inclination was to leave. He obviously wanted to be alone to deal with this. He had rejected all her help, and it was hard not to see it as a rejection of her. She put on her t-shirt and moved back to the living room.

They had put out the candles, but the lights of the city still came through the balcony windows. She moved over to the balcony, seeing again the dinner he had prepared, the table where they had eaten, the space where they had danced.

"_What constitutes a special occasion?"_

"… _showing you how much you mean to me."_

She put down her clothes and went out to lean against the balcony railing. She had known John was a complex man. Just getting him to share some of his history had been difficult, and she still felt there was much she didn't know. Their relationship was still new even though it was based on two years of a strong friendship. The question was whether or not she could deal with him in this mood. Could she convince him to allow her to be strong sometimes?

She heard the water turn off and the door open. After a moment, she heard a drawer slam shut. He was still angry.

She moved back over to the bedroom and paused in the doorway. John was seated on the side of the bed in his boxers. Once again, he had his head in his hands. She approached him slowly, unsure of her welcome.

Kneeling in front of him, she reached out for his hands.

John's head jerked up. His eyes were empty, and his face reflected his anguish. "I thought you'd gone," he whispered, his voice rough.

She held his hands in hers, and gave a comforting squeeze.

"No, John, I'm still here. I thought about leaving since you seemed to want to be alone. But I was afraid that if I left now, we'd never work through this."

He looked down again, gripping her hands painfully.

"John, do you remember when you had the nightmares after your father was attacked by the wraith.?"

He nodded without looking up.

"You said to me that you didn't want your nightmares for public consumption."

"Yeah, that sounds like something I'd say."

"John, if you consider me as part of the public, we're never going to get anywhere. You have to be willing to let me help you, to be strong when you aren't."

His head was still down, but he drew her hands, still in his, to his chest. "I've always been alone at times like this." She almost couldn't hear him he spoke so softly.

"You don't have to be unless you want to be. And I know that sometimes you may need to be alone. But right now, I think you need to share this experience to put it behind you, and I want you to know I'm ready to listen and help."

She released one of her hands and reached for his chin. Gently she raised his face to meet his eyes. The strain still showed, but there was an acceptance as well.

"So why don't you lie back down and tell me."

He leaned back, making room for her beside him. She leaned against the pillows while he wrapped an arm around her waist, resting his head on her chest. Gently she stroked his hair.

"Now, John, tell me. What happened to you? What is happening in your dream?"

"I'm being fed on by a wraith. Only in the dream, he doesn't stop, and he doesn't give me my life back."

"Tell me how it felt."

He was quiet for a moment, then, gradually, haltingly, he began to tell her what had happened. "It felt, …, like, …, everything positive or good was being sucked out of me along with the years of my life. I never realized that wraith take more than just years. They feed on the life force, and that includes all the positive feelings, like hope and love, and they leave nothing but pain. Not just physical pain, though I've never felt anything so bad. It hurts in my soul." He paused and raised his head to look at Elizabeth, and she could now see the pain echoed in his eyes. "I no longer regret killing Sumner. I think that's what he was feeling when he looked up at me before I shot him." John paused again, burying his face between her breasts. "After the last feeding, when he left me to attack the Genii, I didn't want to survive. I told him, when he came back, to finish it. That's when he gave my life back."

Elizabeth waited, but he didn't say any more. She continued rubbing his scalp.

"Have you talked to Kate yet?"

"No, I can barely tell you. I don't think I can tell this to Kate."

Elizabeth moved her hand to stroke the soft area around his temple. "OK, whatever you want. But keep it in mind if these nightmares keep happening. Would you let me hold you so you can get some more sleep?"

As she slid down in the bed, he buried his face in her neck. He was trembling again, just a little. Elizabeth stroked his back as his breathing began to even out in sleep. Softly, she said, "I love you John Sheppard," and received a slight squeeze in return. As she settled herself for sleep, she wondered if he would ever be able to put these particular demons out of his mind.

The next time Elizabeth Weir awoke, the sun was beginning to come through the balcony and the stained glass of the windows. She knew where she was and turned slightly to see John curled up next to her. They had shifted at some point in the night, but he was still curled toward her with one arm loosely around her waist.

His features had relaxed some in sleep, and he appeared to be resting easily. Easing her way out of bed without disturbing him, she headed to the bathroom, completely missing the gentle beep of her headset left in the living room.

"Zelenka to Beckett. Dr. Beckett, have you seen Elizabeth?"

"Beckett here. No, Radek, but there's a meeting in a couple of hours. Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just that I can't reach her or Sheppard and I have this new device that could be an engineering manual of sorts."

Carson Beckett paused, considered his recent observations of the two leaders, and decided he might need to intervene. "Well, I haven't seen either of them, but I have to give Colonel Sheppard one more checkup, so I'll go looking. Should I have one of them call you?"

"Yes, yes, that would help. I will need Colonel Sheppard to activate it since Rodney is not here. So, you'll let me know?"

"Aye, or I'll see you at the meeting. Actually, could I help you with that?

"Do you have time?"

"Yes, Radek. I'll stop by your lab on my way to check the colonel. Beckett out."

"Thank you, doctor. Zelenka out."

Dr. Beckett collected his small medical pouch and set out to check on his prime patient, confident they would prefer him to interrupt them rather than Zelenka.

After activating Zelenka's device, he stopped by the control room to have them pull up the internal sensors to see if he could eliminate any areas. He noticed that they weren't in their quarters, and he was beginning to wonder how to narrow down the life signs when he noticed two dots at the very edge of the living area. Nodding to Chuck, who was back at the controls, he started his trek to find the missing leaders.

Elizabeth had returned from the bathroom freshly showered, but still loath to wake up John. She began stoking his hair again. He moved into the caress and she placed a gentle kiss on his temple. Gradually, he woke up.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" She moved to give him room to stretch.

"Good morning. Yeah, I did. Could be due to the great head massage I got."

"Did you know you have a widow's peak?"

"Damn! My secret's out," he replied, sliding up in the bed and reaching for her. She moved to curl up next to him.

"Are you telling me you wear your hair that way because you have a widow's peak?" She reached up and pushed all his hair back off his face, revealing the slight point in the middle of his forehead.

"Well, actually it's because of the cowlicks, but yeah, I'm not real fond of the idea of looking like Keyser Söze." He grabbed her hands and rubbed his head, returning his hair to its usual state.

"I've seen that movie, and you don't need to worry." She moved up beside him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Still, no need to advertise it." He kissed her forehead, closing his eyes and reveling in the feel of her and the smell of her shampoo. He was about to tell her she was over dressed when the door chimed.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Who knows we're here?"

"I guess anyone who checks the sensors. I haven't told anyone about this place," replied John, reaching for a pair of sweats. John opened the door as they walked into the living room.

"Colonel? Are ye OK?"

"Carson? What's the problem?"

"Well, ye weren't answering your earpiece. I told Dr. Zelenka I would find you since I needed to give you a checkup anyway."

John looked around and found his earpiece on the table. Grinning sheepishly, he put it back in his ear while Elizabeth did the same. "Can we do the checkup here?"

"Aye. Just sit down and I'll take care of you right away."

"John, I'm going to go ahead and get some breakfast and get to work," said Elizabeth, moving toward the door.

"Lunch?" he said. Carson gave him a dirty look since he was listening to his chest.

Elizabeth smiled as she opened the door. "Sure. Later." She winked at him as she left.

"These are nice quarters, Colonel. Are you moving?"

"Not just yet, Carson, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't advertise them around."

And John Sheppard settled back to endure Carson's ministrations.

_**Dear John –**_

_**Thanks for the heads up on Rodney. I managed to see him briefly before he left. You didn't tell me the theory issue was with his sister. She's very different from him. I'd be interested in your thoughts since I hear she's heading back to Atlantis with him.**_

_**Things here are as usual. There is a lot of worry over the Ori, but I'm not cleared for all the reports. Suffice it to say that Sam Carter is still going in to work a few times a week and everyone is looking for a solution.**_

_**Yes, I'm still in Colorado. Jack and Sam seem to like having me here, and I admit I feel closer to everyone.**_

_**Now that you're out of the infirmary, STAY OUT. And stop worrying Elizabeth.**_

_**Dad**_

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard chuckled as he reread his father's latest email. It had arrived during the weekly call-in the week before the _Daedalus_ docked with Jeannie Miller. Since then, he'd had the opportunity to observe first hand how different she was. Which is not to say she couldn't hold her own: she definitely didn't put up with anything from Rodney. In fact, John was sure he and Ronon had at least six weeks of blackmail material, not to mention the endless joy of using Rodney's real first name.

_Dear Dad –_

_I've met Jeannie, and you're right: she's different. However, it was great to have her. She kept Rodney on his toes since she is as brilliant as he. She also gave us lots of dirt. The best was that his first name's Meredith. As you might imagine, we're having a field day with that. _

_Dr. Zelenka thinks Jeannie is great, too. He's so used to McKay's insults that he found Jeannie refreshing and did anything she asked. _

_Their little project kept us on base most of the time in the last month. Ronon, Teyla, and I used the time to train recruits and do a little more exploring of some of the closer areas. _

_The project is over, now, and Jeannie is on her way back on the Daedalus. It seems we used up most of our power, so she had to take the long way home. She should be there soon. Be sure to ask her about Rod, or read the report. I can't put it in an email.  
_

_Glad you're in Colorado. If we get a chance, we'll come by, but they don't let us get home very often._

_I haven't been in the infirmary for the last four weeks. Am going for a record._

_John_

Jeannie Miller stared out the window at Earth, hanging in space. She wasn't sure she could believe what she had been doing for the last three months: two three week trips between galaxies, not just between planets, and over a month in the lost city of Atlantis. It seemed surreal, or at least science fiction.

"Mrs. Miller to the bridge," came over the ship's intercom, and she grabbed her duffel and headed up to take her leave of the _Daedalus_ and her crew.

Colonel Steven Caldwell turned toward Mrs. Miller as she entered the bridge. "Ready to go home?"

She smiled. "Yes. It's been great, and interesting, and wonderful, but I miss my family."

Caldwell smiled. "I can understand." Turning in his chair he continued, "Lieutenant, is Hermiod ready?"

"Yes, sir, on your mark."

"Fine. Mrs. Miller, we are going to beam you into the SGC since we don't want to disturb your neighbors. Also, there will be a short debriefing."

Jeannie nodded. "Yes, I expected that. Colonel, thank you for everything. Your crew has been very helpful to this neophyte."

Caldwell nodded, smiling again. "Hermiod, whenever you're ready."

"Yes, Colonel."

A bright white light enveloped her, and suddenly she found herself in the gate room of Stargate Command. Colonel Samantha Carter approached her.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Miller."

"Jeannie, please, Colonel."

Sam Carter smiled. "OK, Jeannie, and I'm Sam. I'm here to escort you to some temporary quarters so you can relax if you need to." They began walking down the halls of the Cheyenne Mountain complex to the elevator. "I assume you want to get home soon, so we thought we'd hold the debriefing in about an hour. You're booked on the first flight out tomorrow morning, and you should be back in Toronto by 4 tomorrow afternoon."

Jeannie nodded at the plans. "Thanks, Sam. I appreciate you understanding that I just want to get home to my family. Speaking of family, something seems to have changed since you first came to visit me," she responded, glancing at Sam's obviously gravid belly.

Sam blushed slightly. "Yeah, I've really started showing in the last couple of months."

"So when are you due?"

"Still three months or so."

"But, …"

"But I look like a house?"

"Well, I wouldn't have put it that way, but you seem like you should be further along."

"Triplets. In fact, this is the only day I'm in this week since the doc has told me to take it easy."

"Wow!" They'd reached the elevator by this time, and Sam pushed the button for the on-base quarters.

"Have you and your husband considered another child?"

"Yes, we wanted one, but Madison brought home mumps from school, and Caleb hadn't had them, so …" She left it hanging, letting Sam draw the obvious conclusion.

The pregnant colonel quietly assessed her fellow scientist. "Have you considered other options?" They were exiting the elevator by this time, and Sam led her to a nearby guest room.

"You mean, adoption or in vitro with donor sperm?" said Jeannie as Sam opened the door. "Yes, but I haven't had the heart to bring it up." She paused as they entered the room, looking at Sam in shock. "Is that how you ended up with triplets?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, we waited kind of late to start this so we were left with that option. Jack still wasn't sure he wanted to do it, but then a, uh, project came along that we could help out with."

"Project?"

"Yeah, in fact, I was wondering if you might be interested."

Jeannie sat down on the bed, and Sam began to tell her about the project to increase the occurrence of the ancient gene on Earth. Later, after a visit to the infirmary, Jeannie Miller called her husband who caught a plane for Colorado the next day. It seemed she would be staying at the SGC a little longer.

_**Hi John –**_

_**Hope things are back to normal, more or less. Colonel Carter is going in only once a week, now, and mostly for a checkup, but she still seems healthy. They've got me working on a nursery. I did mention they are expecting triplets, right?**_

_**General Landry asked me to tell you that another family has been added to the original group. The mother is a scientist and you know her. I think I'll stop there.**_

_**Sorry about the power problem. I know that means it will be harder to get back and forth, but I've heard about the intergalactic bridge you folks are working on. I'll be around the first time you come through. Maybe we can get a beer.**_

_**Well, more later. **_

_**Dad**_

John Sheppard just stared at his father's latest message. Carter having triplets? Another family with a female scientist he knew? They wouldn't, would they? He put the mail away, trying not to think of the ramifications.

_Hi, Dad—_

_Thanks for the note. No, you hadn't mentioned triplets. I hope General O'Neill is ready for that. _

_I sure hope the new family is not the one I think it is. I would never hear the end of that from some folks around here._

_The power problem means we're back to searching for those power modules I told you about, so all the teams are doing quick recon in as many places as possible. If we find natives, we send back a negotiating team and move on to the next address. Speaking of which, I have a team overdue, so my folks are headed out to see what happened. I just wanted to get this done before we left since the Daedalus gets here tomorrow and I'm not sure when I'll be back._

_Yeah, I know, stay out of the infirmary._

_John_

Well, they found out what happened, and the same thing almost happened to them. The ride back to Atlantis on the _Daedalus_ gave every member of the team time to reflect on their own worst fears, especially since they had just relived them. For once, John was the only one not hurt in some physical way. No one mentioned emotional hurt, yet.

The team was beamed down directly to the infirmary, and Lorne and Elizabeth entered as the infirmary staff were assisting Rodney and Teyla into beds. Ronon was twitching but was allowing the infirmary staff to check his bandage. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, patient extraordinaire, was, for once, in the role of waiting around.

"So how are you?" said Elizabeth, pausing by Rodney's bed but including Teyla in her question.

"He shot me!"

"Yes, Rodney, I know, but how are you now?"

"Well, I guess I'm recovering, but my team leader shot me!"

Ronon looked over at Teyla and raised an eyebrow.

Teyla smiled then, raising her hands to her face, she said, "He shot Rodney!"

"Bastard," said Ronon, with a grin at Sheppard.

"That's it, no more _South Park_ for you two," said John, moving to stand at the foot of the two beds. "In fact, I think I'll get out of here for awhile and let you tell the story yet again." With that, he left the infirmary and took off at a run in the direction of the south pier.

Lorne glanced at Elizabeth, then looked directly at Rodney. "You need to stop saying that, you know."

"Why? He never stopped picking on me about destroying three fourths of a solar system. . ."

"FIVE SIXTHS," said everyone present.

"OK, OK, details. Still, I've heard about it often enough."

"Yeah, but the military really frowns on friendly fire, and those involved rarely get over it." He paused. "And now that I think about it, I don't think the Colonel has ever been involved in such an incident." He looked toward the door Sheppard had exited. "Um, I think we should probably give him some space to deal with this."

Ronon nodded then looked at Rodney. "Think of it this way. The man is a marksman yet you're still alive. Some part of him didn't want to kill you." The Satedan stood up, exchanging another glance with Teyla. "I think I'll go get cleaned up as well."

"Don't you need that dressing changed?" said Beckett, raising his own eyebrows at a patient attempting to escape.

"They changed it on the _Daedalus_." With a final nod to everyone, Ronon headed out.

"Think he'll go after Sheppard?" said Lorne into the silence that followed.

"Most likely," said Teyla. "Sometimes Ronon is the only one John will listen to, at least on some matters."

Elizabeth had listened to this exchange with growing concern, now wondering exactly how John was. "Well, I have to get back to the paperwork this mission created. Get well soon, you two. And Rodney, take it from a professional talker. Sometimes less is more." With that, Elizabeth left the infirmary to return to her office.

When she got to the control room, she asked Chuck to pull up the life signs indicator for the city. As the many blips came up on the screen, she could see two dots moving quickly around the perimeter of the south pier, obviously running. Evidently Ronon had joined John in his self-imposed prescription. She thanked Chuck and moved on to her office and opened her laptop. She figured she needed to get through her paperwork now since John might need to talk later.

When she next looked up, it was eight o'clock at night. She closed her laptop, realizing John had not come by to get her for dinner. He rarely missed except when away on a mission, so she went out again to the control room. Chuck was going off duty, but he stayed around long enough to pull up the scanners again. Elizabeth gave a sigh of relief to see the lone dot on their balcony.

"Thanks, Chuck. I think I'll call it a night."

"Yes, ma'am. We'll see you tomorrow," he nodded, headed off to get dinner.

Elizabeth went back to her quarters, grabbing the last of her chocolate stash. Picking up two sandwiches and two juices in the mess hall, she headed for their balcony where the scanners had registered one life sign.

He didn't move when she opened the balcony door. "Hey, you missed dinner."

He was standing at the rail with his arms braced against it, leaning forward as if studying the water below. "I know. Wasn't hungry."

She approached him, giving him some space just in case. "I brought a sandwich in case you'd care to join me." She put it down on the small table they had moved out there then she sat down on the bench and began to open her own sandwich. The silence stretched between them, but Elizabeth knew she shouldn't break it.

Finally he sighed and turned around, moving over to the bench. He dropped down beside her and picked up the sandwich, picking at the wrapper without interest. The sun had set long ago, and in the starlight, she couldn't see his face.

"I've never harmed one of my own men before, especially someone I'm supposed to be protecting, let alone a good friend." His voice was low, and if Elizabeth hadn't been right next to him, she would have missed it.

"I realize that. In fact, you go out of your way to save your people, even at the risk of your own life. But John, you weren't in control of your actions."

"I should always be in control of my actions," he responded forcefully. "I've been trained to kill, and if I'm not in control, I'm too dangerous to be around."

"John, this was a freak thing. We lost four other men to that device. Just be thankful we didn't lose your team as well."

The silence descended again. She finished her sandwich and he finished half of his.

"Did you hear what I was reliving?"

"No, what?"

"A time in Afghanistan. I was behind enemy lines with a wounded soldier. I tried to get him out." He stopped there.

"And?"

"He didn't make it."

Turning toward him, she reached out and took his hand. "John, sometimes you have to forgive yourself."

"Maybe, but I really need Rodney to forgive me."

"And he will."

"Yeah. Right."

"You won't know until you ask."

John looked at her. "You heard him. He's totally freaked out that I shot him." He looked away again. "I'm not sure he'll ever forgive me." He wadded up his sandwich. "I don't think he'll trust me again. I may have to transfer him to another team if that happens."

"No, you won't have to change the team. He will trust you again. After all, you trusted him again."

John looked at her again with the first hint of a smile she'd seen since he got back. "Yeah, I did. Maybe if I remind him he will see some parallels." He stood up, anxious to move. "I'll just have to see, but I think I'll wait until he's out of the infirmary."

Elizabeth stood as well, reaching into a pocket and pulling out a slightly soft chocolate bar. "Good, let's eat on it."

John looked at the candy and then at her again. "You were really worried about me, weren't you. You even hit up your stash."

"Yes, I worry about you. But I also trust you."

He reached out and took the candy. About to open it, he hesitated and put it in his pocket. "No, I think I'll save it to sweeten the talk with Rodney."

"Good idea. And maybe it should be sooner rather than later. You know he hates the infirmary." She turned to the door then paused. "I think I'll head back to my office to finish off some reports."

"Want me to come by and remind you to go to bed later?"

"If you feel like it." She took the few steps necessary to bridge the distance between them and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. As she pulled back, he reached for her and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks for listening."

"Anytime." She kissed him again then left the balcony.

John contemplated the stars for a little while longer then made his way to the infirmary. He had a chocolate-covered apology to deliver.

TBC

**A/N: This is the last of the tags. I thought of writing the apology but this was a long chapter. One more chap. and the epilogue to go. Thanks for all the reviews. They are greatly appreciated, and I use some of the suggestions. **


	31. Mail Call

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** **A/N: These characters are the intellectual property of others; no infringement intended.**

**A/N2: This is the second of the two plot bunny chapters that started this whole thing. Your comments welcome. Thank you for the reviews so far.  
**

** --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Mail Call**

Elizabeth Weir sat in Carson Beckett's office, twisting her hands in her lap and thinking over what could have gone wrong sometime in the last three months.

"Carson, are you sure?"

"Aye, love, I ran the test twice. And you yourself said you'd been noticing some changes."

She looked away. "Yes, I know. It's just that we were so careful. . ."

"Elizabeth, I told you when you switched to the diaphragm that you would have to change some habits and be more careful. Anyway, have you talked to the Colonel about things?"

"No, I thought I'd wait until I was sure."

"Well, now you are sure, and some decisions need to be made."

"I know." She stood up, finally meeting his eyes. "Thank you, Carson. I also appreciate you keeping this to yourself."

He stood up as well. "Of course, as always." She turned to leave. "Elizabeth," he said, with a hand on her arm.

"Yes?" she said, turning at the door. He led her out the door over to the medicine closet.

"You need to come in for a checkup in a couple of weeks. And I'm giving you some vitamins and something for any nausea." He handed her two small bottles. "You might also screening for Down Syndrome. You're a little outside the accepted safety window."

Elizabeth took the bottles and grimaced at the last comment. "Thanks again, Carson. I'll let you know what John says."

She left the infirmary in deep thought. Carson Beckett returned to his office, also considering the future.

_**Dear John –**_

_**Well, things are getting exciting around here. The pregnancies are due any time now and things are getting tense. Jack is about to go wacko, as he calls it. Carter keeps working since the Ori aren't taking any time off. Daniel is picking up some of the slack.**_

_**I've been keeping up with your mission reports. Things seem to have gone pretty well in the last couple of months. Hope that doesn't jinx things. . . .**_

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard arrived at the conference room early for the latest briefing. Ten minutes with nothing to do led to some reflection, and he closed his eyes, put his feet on the conference table, and indulged in a lack of stress. His team was on a week's rotation on Atlantis, the _Daedalus_ had just docked and was here for any emergencies, and he had fresh coffee and a cinnamon roll. For this brief moment, life was good.

"Good morning, gentlemen and ladies," said Dr. Elizabeth Weir, entering the conference room on the heels of Rodney McKay. "Colonel Caldwell is going to join us for our briefing, so we will give him a few minutes to get here. Meanwhile, how goes the unloading, Colonel?"

Sheppard took his feet off the table and sat up straighter. Grabbing the cinnamon roll, he said, "Sweet," and took a bite.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "I had hoped for a little more detail, Colonel."

"OK," he said, swallowing. "We have unloaded all critical materials, including medical and military supplies. . ."

". . . And I, for one, am glad to get the restocking. Beckett had just joined the group. "The colonel, here, almost used up our supply of antibiotics with that little infection he picked up a month ago."

"Well, we will not go there," replied John with a pointed look at the doctor. "Today will be concentrating on the other material including less critical supplies and personal items."

"I see you made sure food was in that first wave of unloading," responded Weir with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, that would be me," said Rodney, looking up, finally, from his laptop. "My mental acuity is in part related to the quality of the food we have, and I, for one, have noticed a decrease in palatability lately."

Teyla looked over at the scientist. "Are you saying you would rather not have tava beans? I assure you there are those on the mainland who would be happy to have your share."

"No, no, no, that's quite alright," back pedaled Rodney. "It's just a little, uh, variety, helps the brain power."

"Not to mention the sugar," quipped Sheppard.

"OK, I think that's enough. Colonel Caldwell, thank you for joining us. I was just getting reports on the status of the unloading."

The older colonel nodded and dropped a packet of mail in front of Dr. Weir. "The latest from the SGC. The regular mail will be distributed as usual after lunch."

Elizabeth took a moment to thumb through the small packet of letters. Most of it was the usual collection of orders and directives that were sent in paper to backup the online distribution. She came across an unexpected envelope, however.

"Colonel Sheppard."

John looked up from putting the last of the sweet roll in his mouth. "Umm?"

Elizabeth smiled. "You seem to have a letter here."

John's eyebrows went up as he swallowed. "Hmm. I wasn't expecting anything."

Elizabeth handed it over to John and put the rest of the mail aside.

"Now, what is on the agenda for the next few days."

As Elizabeth led the meeting, John stared at the envelope. He would have heard if something had happened to his father. A chill went through him as he thought these might be new orders and he could get transferred back to earth. Caldwell didn't look particularly pleased, so maybe that wasn't it. By the time the meeting ended, he was about to climb out of his skin.

"Is there anything else? If not, I call us adjourned," said Elizabeth, standing to collect her laptop and the mail.

Everyone except John and Rodney filed out, discussing the most recent problems. Rodney was bent over his laptop.

"Oh, NO!" said the scientist, looking over at the tense pilot.

"What?" said John, sincerely confused.

"My sister is pregnant. And based on when she's due, it happened while she was here."

"Oh no you don't. I had nothing to do with that."

"Right, KIRK." Rodney slammed his laptop closed and got up to leave. "She's MARRIED! I told you that from the start."

"Right!" replied John, now also irritated. "And did it occur to you that her husband could have been really happy when she got back?"

McKay was suddenly quiet as when a totally new interpretation of events presents itself. "No, I, uh, hadn't thought of that. Huh. Well, OK, see you later." And with no more comments, he left, contacting Radek on his headset to meet him in the lab.

Elizabeth, who had witnessed the entire exchange holding her breath, finally got a chance to breathe as John turned toward her. The tension was radiating off of him.

"Uh, Elizabeth, are you going to need me any time soon?"

"No, can't think of anything."

"Good. I think I'm going to, uh, take off for awhile."

She looked at him carefully. He was flicking the letter back and forth, and as far as she could tell, it had not yet been opened.

"Sure, that's OK." She watched him leave, hoping it wasn't bad news and that the conversation with Rodney hadn't made things worse.

Several hours later, Dr. Elizabeth Weir looked up from her laptop and realized she was hungry. It was after 2 PM and she hadn't heard from John, not even to bug her to eat. Touching her headset, she decided to invite him to lunch for a change.

"Weir to Sheppard. John, are you hungry?"

She waited a minute and tried again but still received no answer. She remembered he was going to "take off" for awhile, as he put it, but that usually meant he would have his ear piece with him.

"Weir to Ronon."

"Ronon here."

"Have you seen Colonel Sheppard? He's not answering hails."

"Not since the briefing. Should I look for him?"

"No, that's OK. I'm sure it's nothing. Weir out."

She got the same answer from Teyla and Rodney. She finally had to resort to the scanners to find him. He wasn't running, however. No, he was on the balcony outside his new quarters. She was beginning to think of the space as "theirs" since they spent so much time there together.

"Chuck, I'm going for a walk. I'll have my headset if I'm needed."

"Yes, Dr. Weir."

She made her way quickly to their quarters. After entering, she paused to observe him on the balcony. He had evidently been running because he had changed from his BDUs to light sweats and running shoes. His posture was familiar: his arms braced against the railings, his head bowed. Last time he had been dealing with the fallout from shooting Rodney. What could possibly be such a burden to him?

She approached the door and waved her hand over the controls. As the door slid open, she saw him stiffen and lean forward a little more.

"John, what is it?" She noticed a piece of paper wadded up in his hand: the mysterious letter. "Did you get bad news?" She walked up to the rail, placing a hand on his stiff arm.

"No, not bad news." He straightened up some, still not looking at her. He gave a cynical laugh. "In fact, some would call it good news." He shook his head and walked to the other end of the balcony.

"John, what is it? You're scaring me."

He stopped again, ran a hand over this face and started back toward her. "Remember when I came back from Earth last year and you asked what I had had to do to get back?"

"Yes, and you never told me."

"Yeah, well it still bothers me, but I should tell you." He sighed and looked out to sea again. His knuckles were turning white where his hands gripped the rails. "They didn't want to let me come back because I was the only one who could easily operate the weapons chair. They had gone through everyone with the gene as well as the folks with the gene therapy. They were pretty spooked and then I showed up. I got rid of the wraith, and the IOA didn't want me to leave. They said that my highest priority should be defending Earth."

"Hmm. That doesn't surprise me. No good deed goes unpunished after all. But if they wanted to keep you, how did you get back?"

John paused again and looked away from her. "Landry came up with this idea that the IOA accepted. He said they would let me come back if I agreed to come through the gate whenever they needed me and if I, uh, would become a sperm donor." His voice fell off toward the end of his speech, and Elizabeth wasn't sure she caught it.

"If you would become a what?"

"A sperm donor." He spat it out, as if it were distasteful, and shook his head as if to clear it. "This letter," he continued, holding up the offensive piece of paper, "is informing me of the success of their project." He thrust it at her and turned away.

Elizabeth was dumbfounded. She took the letter and read it, mumbling it aloud.

_To: Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, USAF, Atlantis_

_RE: Plato Project_

_Classification: TOP SECRET_

_This is to inform you of the outcome of the samples you submitted ten months ago._

_Sample 1 Pregnancy to term 1 female_

_Sample 2 Pregnancy to term 1 male_

_Sample 3 Pregnancy to term 1 male_

_Sample 4 In vitro pregnancy to term 1 female_

_2 males_

_Sample 5a In vitro pregnancy to term 1 female_

_1 male (stillborn)_

_Sample 5b In vitro pregnancy In process; due 3 months._

_The last sample was split with some retained for testing purposes. It was used when a later family joined the program._

_All live births are doing well._

_We will be in contact with you for additional samples given this success and in accordance with your agreement with the IOC._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Dr. Carolyn Lam_

_Stargate Command_

Elizabeth lowered the letter, stunned. "John, why wouldn't you tell me this earlier?"

"I told you. I was embarrassed at being treated like a, a bull. And now I've fathered ten children, two are dead, and the other eight will never know me nor I them." There was a definite hitch in the last statement.

His back was still toward her, and Elizabeth was overcome with the need to see his face. She reached for him, but he resisted turning around. "John, look at me."

He finally turned around and she could see the emotions on his face. There was a strong anger there, but an even stronger anguish. She knew, finally, that this man wanted children and he was devastated at being excluded from their lives.

"John, you don't know that you'll never see them. These people are part of the Stargate Program, right?" He nodded. "So, they will be around the SGC and you'll see them when we go back."

John pulled back, shaking his head. "I don't think I could do that, Elizabeth. What, see them at 3 years old, ten years old, and miss everything in between and after? And now they want more!"

He walked off again, stopping by a pillar as if it were a barrier to big to pass. He leaned against it. "As if this wasn't enough, one of the families is Jack O'Neill and Sam Carter. They've latched on to my dad, and he will get to play a larger role in my children's lives than I will." He reached up and rubbed at his eyes. "And they added Jeannie Miller to the list. So I sort of had to lie to Rodney."

Elizabeth was trying to digest this last part when her headset beeped.

"Control to Dr. Weir."

"Weir here. What is it, Chuck?"

"The Marines have been trying to reach Colonel Sheppard about the unloading. Do you know where he is?"

Elizabeth looked over at John and noticed his earpiece was missing. "Yes, Chuck, I'll inform him. He will get back with them. Weir out."

"John, the Marines are trying to reach you."

He reached up to his ear then realized the transmitter was missing. He stepped back inside and found it next to a wall where he had thrown it earlier. Amazingly, it still worked.

"Sheppard to Lorne. What's the problem?"

"Lorne here. The _Daedalus _crew wants to know what to do with some cargo."

"OK, patch me through. Sergeant, what can I do for you?"

"Colonel, we need to know where you want this stuff stashed."

"What stuff?"

"We have five cargo containers marked Colonel Sheppard, Private and Confidential. So, where do we put 'em?"

"Um, give me a few minutes to clean up, Sergeant. I'll meet you in the gate room in twenty minutes. Sheppard out."

He rubbed hard at his face and looked out to where Elizabeth still stood at the balcony railing. "Sorry, I have to get a shower and get back. They have some stuff addressed to me and I don't remember ordering anything, so Dad must have sent it. Anyway, I've got to figure out what to do with it."

Elizabeth could see the remnants of his emotional reaction now that she knew what to look for. True, the indifferent, wise cracking mask had slipped back in place, but there were some shadows around his eyes.

"Go ahead and get cleaned up. I'll wait and walk back with you if that's OK?"

"Sure," he said, heading to the bathroom. He paused and looked back. "And thanks."

He was out and dressed ten minutes later and she followed him out of the room, matching him stride for stride. "Dinner?"

He looked over at her and gave a half-smile, acknowledging that things had been left up in the air. "Seven OK?"

"Yep, you'll know where to find me."

They soon reached the gate room, and Elizabeth headed for the stairs to her office but hesitated as the light of the Asgaard transporter lit up the space. In its aftermath she could see five very large containers, 4 feet by 4 feet by 4 feet. She recognized them as the standard cargo containers used by the _Daedalus_ to maximize space usage in the cargo bays. All were labeled "Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, PRIVATE and CONFIDENTIAL." She paused in her steps and moved to stand beside John as he looked over the large shipment.

"Sergeant, was there any paperwork with this stuff?" The colonel looked over at the officer with a puzzled expression.

"Yes, sir, this packet came with them." The sergeant handed over an envelope the size of a Federal Express mailer. It, too, was marked "Private and Confidential" with John's name.

"Thank you, Sergeant," said Sheppard, moving away and tearing open the packet. Elizabeth was dieing of curiosity and approached him. He was reading another letter, and she could see he was, once again, trying to contain his emotions.

"Sergeant, these things can be left here temporarily. Our staff will take care of things from here." She nodded at the officer, indicating that he and his men could resume unloading. "Colonel, would you like to use my office to read those transmittal documents?"

John looked up, dazed. At Elizabeth's pointed look, he realized he'd been given an escape. "Actually, just let me step outside for a few minutes to be sure I understand the instructions." He turned to the men, still hovering. "I'll get some of our personnel to move this as soon as it's ready. Thank you. Dismissed."

The _Daedalus_ men gave quick salutes and headed to the pier where the ship was docked. Sheppard headed to the balcony near Elizabeth's office. After checking in with Chuck, Elizabeth followed.

"Do you need some time, or can you tell me?"

He was leaning against the railing of her balcony, still reading the letter. At her comment, he looked up. "It's from General O'Neill."

Elizabeth's eyebrows went up as she walked over to stand beside him. "What does he say?"

John looked down at the letter again, a look of amazement on his face. "Well, here, read it," and he handed it to her.

Elizabeth took it, looking at John, but he turned away to face the ocean. Deciding she needed to know what else was going to hit him today, she turned to the papers in her hand.

**Dear Colonel Sheppard,**

**Actually, I should say Dear John. I feel like I know you since your father has been hanging around here a lot recently.**

**I suppose by now you have received word that your "donations" have borne fruit. As one of the beneficiaries of those donations, I wanted to let you know how much this event means to me and Carter. When I mentioned this to some of the others involved, they, too wanted to express their appreciation. So, we all got together and decided to send you some stuff.**

**Each container is from a different family, and each family had their own idea of what to get. They all know about Atlantis, so most of the stuff is what you might want in a remote location. Besides the stuff to share, there is also a sealed box marked personal. You might want to save those to open later.**

**John, I mean it. Carter is over the moon, if tired, and I find myself looking for reasons to go to the nursery. Your dad is a permanent fixture and very handy when it comes to changing diapers. I know it was hard on you, but we can't thank you enough for this gift. Actually, gifts since there are three of them.**

**Jack**

Elizabeth looked up from reading. John looked OK if still a little shocked. "Well, aren't you going to open them?"

"Yeah, but what do I tell everyone who asks?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "They're from your dad. Nobody will care after awhile." She turned to head back in then looked back. "You better call your team. You won't be able to move all that stuff alone."

For the first time since the letter arrived, John grinned. Elizabeth could see him tapping his earpiece as she went back to her office.

Looking down later, she could see Ronon, Teyla, Rodney, Carson, and a few others swarming around the crates. Suddenly a roar of approval went up, and she left her office to join the group at the foot of the stairs.

"What is it?"

"CHOCOLATE!" said Rodney, up to his elbows in one crate. He looked over at Elizabeth, a stunned look on his face. "Except for this box, which Sheppard won't let me open, the WHOLE CRATE is filled with every kind of chocolate you can think of."

"Rodney, I can think of quite a few types, and not all of them are Hershey or Nestles." Elizabeth walked over to look into the crate and found that Rodney had not been exaggerating. She saw Toblerone, Cadbury, and Lindt as well as Hershey, Nestle, and Ghiradelli. There were big bars and small bars, kisses and cups. There were also two giant bags of M&Ms (she didn't know M&Ms came in 4 gallon bags). Given the size of the crate, Elizabeth tried to figure out how much chocolate fit into 64 cubic feet, but she gave up and settled on "a lot."

She looked back at John who was now grinning from ear to ear and handing out Hershey bars. At his feet was a small shipping box marked "personal."

"You better save me some of that. I'm very partial to Cadbury's Bourneville dark chocolate. By the way, what's in the other crates?"

John looked over at her. "I don't know yet. We've been too busy dealing with the chocolate." He looked over at McKay who was now considering which of the 16 ounce bars he was going to help himself to. Moving over to the crate, he batted at the scientist's hands. "Enough, McKay, I know you have at least four big bars stashed on your person."

"Hmmm? What? Oh, well, can't have too many, can you?" He stood, trying to look innocent as he moved away from the crate Sheppard was now closing up.

"Well, this one will have to go into my quarters or there won't be anything left. Ronon, can I get you to help me move it later?"

"Sure, Sheppard, in exchange for another of those Twix things."

"I can tell everyone is going to need incentives to help me in the near future," said John, rolling his eyes as he approached the next crate.

By this time Lorne and his team and a few more scientists had arrived in the gate room to see what else would turn up in the mysterious crates. No one had received this much stuff since the expedition had arrived on Atlantis. Suddenly, a shout went up.

"Beer!!!!" yelled Lieutenant Cadman. Everyone pushed forward eagerly to see if their favorites had been included.

"Alright, alright, calm down. From the looks of things, there is plenty here for everyone," said John, trying to get the, by now, substantial crowd to back up.

"Yeah," said Rodney, "but no Moosehead I bet."

Standing on the steps, Elizabeth could see that the crate was full of about six kegs of beer with pretzels and popcorn shoved in between them.

"Open the next one," said someone in the group, and the whole crowd moved their concentration to the third crate.

"Oh my god!" John's voice sounded awestruck.

"What is it?" said Elizabeth, trying to see over the ever-expanding crowd. Was anyone still at their posts?

"Football games! On DVD! There must be dozens of them!" The excitement in John's voice was echoed by some of the Americans present while others just shrugged. "Holy cow: I think every bowl game from last season is here!"

"Of course. Football. No one had enough sense to send hockey," muttered Rodney, one of the less enthusiastic regarding the contents of this crate.

"And this is good news?" queried Teyla. Elizabeth was glad the Athosian had the temerity to ask. She moved to stand near Teyla to better see what was happening.

John looked up at his teammate as if she had grown another head. "Of COURSE it is! Now you can see how the game is played over a season. And the bowl games will show some of the best teams in the country!"

"I see," replied Teyla, looking at Elizabeth with a questioning gaze. The expedition leader just shook her head. There was no way to fully explain the preoccupation some Americans had with football.

"AWESOME!" was the verdict on the fourth crate. Glancing again at each other, the two women stood back and watched as several eager marines began to unload chips, bean dip, nacho cheese, peanuts, and other snack food.

"What exactly is this?" Teyla looked at Elizabeth, completely at a loss.

"Well, you know how we like to eat popcorn while watching movies?"

"Yes," responded Teyla, still puzzled.

"Well, there are also snacks that are commonly consumed while watching football. I think the contents of this crate are meant to go with the football DVDs in the other crate.

"I see. So one eats snacks while watching football. I thought sports were intended for participation."

"Well, in the case of football, participation involves eating a lot of junk food and drinking beer."

"Junk food?"

"Food with little nutrient value but savored for its taste."

"Hmmmm."

The group working on the crates came to the last one. A wave of awe went up as the contents were revealed.

"OK, everyone, I'll be sharing most of the other stuff, but this one is all mine."

"Uh, Colonel, I'd like to remind you that you're in the infirmary quite frequently, and a bottle of single malt scotch will go a long way to making your stays more pleasant and short."

"Alcohol?!?" said Elizabeth.

One of the Russian scientists was making a play for the vodka.

"Ah, and some real beer," said Lorne, holding up a six pack of Samuel Adams.

"Is there any wine, Colonel?"

"Yes, Dr. Weir, I think we have a few choices here. Should I set one aside for you?"

"If you value your position, Colonel, you will set aside more than one. Also, I would appreciate it if you kept this stash in your quarters with the chocolate. As much as I like a drink now and then, we need to keep inebriation to a minimum on base.

"Of course, ma'am," responded John, cheekily. "I think I can arrange that." He was already putting together ideas for a private liquor store.

"So, Lorne and Ronan, get a few more guys and we'll move the chocolate and the liquor to my quarters. The beer needs to go to the mess hall for refrigeration. Cadman? You and your team volunteering?"

"Yes SIR!"

"OK, and I have an inventory, so don't get greedy. Are there any volunteers to take the DVDs to the TV room?"

There were volunteers for that crate as well as the snacks, which were transported to the mess hall by the kitchen staff and put under lock and key. Soon the gate room was clear again, and Elizabeth moved back to her office.

"Uh, Elizabeth, about dinner. . . ."

"Yes Colonel?"

"Well, some of the guys saw some favorite teams, and we wanted to watch a game right away. Can we make it 8?"

She had to smile at his combination of discomfort and excitement. "Sure, see you then." He turned to leave when she stopped him. "Uh, John, what about these other five boxes?"

He looked around, realizing suddenly that he still had five "confidential" boxes at his feet. Tapping his ear piece, he said, "Lorne, I've got the five small boxes to move and look at, so let's make the game party at 5. OK?"

"Sure, Colonel. I'll tell the others and make sure they don't eat all the bean dip before you get there."

"There were three gallons of bean dip. I don't think they'll make it through all that."

"You willing to make a little wager on that, Colonel?

"No, you're right. Keep 'em in line. Sheppard out."

"Can you help me with these last boxes? I don't think they're too heavy."

Elizabeth nodded and indicated to Chuck that she would be away for awhile. She managed to carry two boxes while John got the other three. By common consent, they headed for their quarters so he could examine the contents.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" she asked, setting her two boxes next to the table by the balcony.

"No, I don't think that will be necessary. Now that you know everything, I don't think there is anything here you can't see." He proceeded to rip the tape off the first box. Inside he found a letter, and a picture of a family. The family was a man and wife, with their son and a newborn. John got a lump in his throat as he opened the letter.

_Dear Colonel Sheppard,_

_We wanted to share with you the joy that we have experienced in our new daughter. . ._

The letter went on to introduce the family and describe the baby. John looked back at the picture: his daughter. Wordlessly he handed the picture and letter to Elizabeth and moved to the next box. In each case, he had a family picture and a letter. Two of the families had sent pages to start a baby book. As John moved to open the last box, Elizabeth could see he was moved by the gesture. She moved closer and put her hands on his shoulders as he sat at the table, removing the picture. At his sharp intake of breath, she leaned over to see the last family.

It was Jack O'Neill and Sam Carter, each holding one baby. The third person in the picture was Edward Sheppard, holding the third triplet. John put the picture down so he could see it and opened the letter, reading it to Elizabeth.

_Dear John,_

_Well, here we are. Now you see why we needed your dad around: he's the third set of hands. I hope we guessed right in providing the stuff for you. The football games were my idea, and everyone else kind of built on that. I want to be sure you know you can stay in touch, and we'll try to keep you posted on developments._

_Jack_

"Wow," said John, reviewing the pictures.

"Would you mind if we hang them on the wall? Then we can both see them," said Elizabeth, gently rubbing his shoulders.

John leaned back against her, glad for her strength just now. "Yeah, that would be a good idea. We'll hang them here, and then we won't have any questions about who they are. I don't think we can invent this many siblings between us."

"You OK?"

"Yeah, just a little overwhelmed."

"Well, it's almost 5 and I think you have a football game to attend. Want to skip dinner?"

He looked up at her. "Do you mind? I think after this first game night things will settle down."

"Sure. I'll find Teyla. We have some catching up to do. Think we could do breakfast?"

John grinned. "Here?"

"Sure."

"OK, that sounds like a plan." He rose, taking the pictures and carefully lining them up on some shelves along one wall. Satisfied that they were stable, he headed for the door. "Later."

Elizabeth shook her head, smiling. She had to hand it to Jack O'Neill for thinking of the right kind of gift.

As John headed out to the TV room he made a swing by the mess hall. There had been a PS on Jack's letter that he hadn't read to Elizabeth.

_PS: I don't know if you've thought of anything permanent with Elizabeth, but if you're interested, there is a small package taped to the bottom of the Heineken keg. Use or not as you see fit._

Reaching the mess hall, John found the crew arguing about whether or not to chill the British beers. Preferring Fosters himself, he decided to let them deal with the problem. He opened the refrigerator and found the kegs lined up against one wall with a large sign on them: PRIVATE PROPERTY OF JOHN SHEPPARD. DRINK AT YOUR OWN RISK. Chuckling, he quickly found the Heineken and tipped it over. Sure enough, in the indentations of the keg was a small flat package in brown paper. Ripping off the duct tape, John put the package in his pocket, not wanting to open it in front of the still arguing group outside.

He waved at the group as he left, avoiding involvement in the discussion, and stopped in his old quarters before he hit the TV room. Ronan and Lorne had unloaded the chocolate and the liquor in his room, and now he was having trouble just getting to his bed. Good thing he didn't sleep here very often any more. He was definitely going to have to find another place for all this stuff. Stopping just inside the door, he dug out the package and opened it. Inside were two rings, obviously wedding rings, with the gate symbol for Earth: the pyramid with a small diamond as the moon above it. There was also another note. Opening it, he found Jack's distinctive scrawl.

_These were Carter's idea."_

As he hid the rings in his dresser and headed, finally, to the TV room, he realized he was going to have to find a way to thank the Colonel.

Eight hours and three football games later, John Sheppard slipped into their quarters. Elizabeth was already asleep, and John took a minute to look at the pictures one more time. Entering the bedroom, and trying not to wake her, John toed off his boots and took off his uniform before he slipped in beside Elizabeth, spooning up to her back.

"John?"

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you," he said nuzzling her hair.

"How was the game?"

"Games. O'Neill sent every bowl game from last season. We watched three tonight."

Elizabeth could smell the peanuts and beer on him has he cuddled up to her. "Sounds like a great time was had by all."

"Oh, yeah," replied John, pulling her closer.

Elizabeth wiggled back against him pulling his arm around her and resting his hand on her still flat abdomen.

"Um, I've been meaning to tell you something."

"Hmm? What's that?"

Placing her hand over his where it rested on her belly, she said, softly, "John, not all of your children will be born in the Milky Way galaxy."

She felt him stiffen, at first, as if he didn't know what she meant. She rolled over to face him, looking into his eyes as he realized the gift she was giving him. Then he bit his lip as his eyes began to shine. He pulled her firmly into his arms and held her close, burying his face in her neck. She could feel the dampness and she held him tightly, her own eyes damp.

Then she heard him whisper, in a voice thick with emotion, "Thank you, Elizabeth."

_**To be concluded. . . (just an epilogue to go)**_

_**Comments welcome, suggestions incorporated where appropriate.**_


	32. Epilogue

**A/N: Finally!! See notes at end.**

**A/N: usual disclaimer: not mine, no infringement intended.**

**A/N: In my AU, Carson dies much later. **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Epilogue**

Major General John Sheppard frowned at his reflection in the mirror. You'd think in the last twenty years they could have found something the ancients used for shaving so he could avoid a razor. He wiped off his face as he walked back into the bedroom, looking with disgust at the clothing on the bed.

John Sheppard was irritated. The day hadn't started well. Even though it was his twentieth wedding anniversary, all he'd received from his wife was a peck on the cheek and a "Don't be late." Add to that he had to wear the monkey suit.

He hated wearing the dress uniform. In his thirty-five year career, it seemed to him that he wore it most often for funerals. Fortunately, today was not one of those times.

He turned to the mirror in the bedroom and tried to tie his tie. Actually maybe today wasn't too bad at all. First of all, it marked the decommissioning of the _Daedalus. _The old warship had been a rock for Atlantis, keeping the outpost connected to Earth through communications and candy bars. And of course, he had plans for the evening.

Finally giving up on the tie (maybe he did have arthritis after all), he put on his coat checking his decorations. As he did so, he remembered some of the happier times associated with the uniform: receiving a medal from the president with his father there; Elizabeth coming down the aisle for their wedding; her soft, proud smile as she pinned his star on when he made brigadier general; his daughter's smile when she participated in his promotion to major general. Satisfied that things were as good as they were going to get, he exited the bedroom to look for his hat. As he grabbed it and straightened up, he paused, once again, to look at the pictures on the wall.

He had returned to Earth ten times to provide sperm donations. After the first two, Elizabeth had gone with him to make it easier, or at least more fun. Eventually, the military's aggressive search for the gene had turned up enough alternative donors so that he was not needed, something for which he was grateful. Those ten trips, however, had produced 71 children whose pictures graced his walls.

He exited the family quarters and headed down the hall, only to run into Rodney McKay. The scientist was grayer, now, but his speech was still rapid, trying to keep up with his brain. There was now a hint of sadness around his eyes, reflecting the loss of a wife and child. But he was still Rodney McKay, self-titled savior of Atlantis, and general pain in the neck. And John Sheppard's best friend.

"Hey, McKay, when did you get back?"

"Huh? Oh, Sheppard. I came back on the _Daedalus_. You know. One more trip for old time's sake. So, do you mind stopping by the lab?"

"You did not come back on the _Daedalus _for old time's sake. Come on, give," said the general, changing direction to accompany Rodney to his lab.

"OK, if you must know, they've got me working with a group of kids. I think they are trying to find the gene earlier and get the folks trained in the skills they need in the program. So, they pull teenagers together and try to talk them into being astrophysicists. Hence, moi."

"Did you scare them all off?"

"Ha, ha very funny," replied the scientist, entering his lab. "I'll have you know I was able to inspire several of the group I was working with. They all have the gene to a varying degree. And one, in fact, has an IQ a couple of points higher than mine, a fact I find hard to believe. They must have changed the tests."

The two men were studying a set of ancient devices that had been discovered recently when they heard a voice from the door.

"You can call off the search, Edward. I found them in Uncle Rodney's lab."

Looking up, John Sheppard found himself being scrutinized by his beautiful daughter who was just signing off of her headset. He couldn't help the lump in his throat as he looked at her. Jennifer Elizabeth Sheppard, Jes to her father, was almost as tall as he was, but she had her mother's green eyes and curly brown hair. Every time he looked at her, it took his breath away. Today, she was dressed for the ceremony in a green dress that accentuated her eyes. He continued to be thankful she hadn't received her father's hair.

"Hey, Jes, what's the problem?"

"Dad, have you forgotten that you have to be somewhere?" she responded, walking over to him and assessing his appearance.

"But the ceremony isn't for another hour and a half. Rodney and I were just –"

"No, it's in twenty minutes," she interrupted, coming over and reaching for his tie.

"Leave that alone," said her father, batting her hands away.

"Dad, it's crooked. You want to look your best. Remember, all the bigwigs from the IOA and the SGC will be here."

"They know who I am," he responded as he submitted to her straightening. "I don't think they expect miracles at this late date."

Focusing on his tie, Jes replied, "Well, then think of Mom. You want to look your best for her, right?"

He put up with her efforts for a few more minutes. "That's enough," he said, finally, pulling away from her fussing with his tie. "Let's go to this ceremony everyone is so eager for. Come on, Rodney," he finished, offering his arm to his daughter who took it gracefully.

"Dad, hurry up!" Carson Sheppard appeared at the end of the corridor, obviously excited. "The ship's already landed and everybody's there!" Only eleven, Carson was their gift, unexpected, and born soon after the sorrow of losing the faithful doctor.

They emerged on the North pier where seating for several hundred was set up. The dais was next to the ship itself. The _Daedalus_ had been the prototype of a successful fleet of intergalactic ships that had supported Atlantis over the last twenty years. Now it was to become a museum orbiting Earth and providing the people of Earth a look at space. But before that final status, it had taken one last trip to Atlantis. And now the personnel of Atlantis had gathered to bid their first life-line a fond farewell.

General Sheppard joined his wife, Elizabeth Weir on the dais along with the other dignitaries of Atlantis and the SGC. General Caldwell, now retired, was there, as well as Colonel Lorne, current commander of the _Daedalus_. Generals Landry, Mitchell, O'Neill, and Carter, and others that had been involved with the Stargate program over the last thirty years were also present. The Athosians had come over, and Teyla and Ronon were present with their four children. There were also some faces missing, lost in the wars with the Wraith and Ori and the enemies that had replaced them. In the front rows were the people of Atlantis. The Sheppard's three children, including 16 –year old Edward, were at the end of the front row.

The speeches were not too long, mostly stressing the achievements of ship and crew and their importance to the small Earth colony in the Pegasus galaxy. Actually, the atmosphere was the happy sadness of a retirement. Something was ending, but it was a good ending that gave hope for the future.

The party following the ceremony got off to a great start. About halfway through, Elizabeth wound her way to her husband's side.

"John, we have some VIPs to visit with."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, but I think you'll enjoy this group." She motioned to Rodney to join them and they left the party.

The three continued down the hall to a small reception area that had been set aside for VIPs. John realized Elizabeth was eyeing his tie critically.

As she reached for it, he grabbed her hands and kissed them. "It's fine. Jes fixed it. Now, can we go?"

John let Elizabeth precede him into the room then entered himself.

"Atten-HUT."

John Sheppard glanced quickly around as the small group in the room stood up. Several were in uniform and at attention while others were obviously civilians.

"As you were," said John, not at all at ease himself. He looked over a group of nine young people, none of whom he recognized, but all of whom looked familiar. He looked over at Elizabeth who was standing to one side with Jennifer, Edward and Carson. He raised his eyebrows asking for an explanation.

"Major General John Sheppard, I would like you to meet the first class of the Plato Project."

His breath caught and he struggled to keep a straight face.

"Oh, there's my nephew," said Rodney, moving to stand beside a young man with blond hair that wouldn't lie down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, why don't you introduce yourselves and let General Sheppard know what you are doing." With that, Elizabeth and the children moved to the back of the room and there was a general shuffle as everyone sat down.

There was a little pause, and then a young man with dark hair and hazel eyes in an Air Force uniform stood up.

"I'm Jason Burnham. I'm a third-class cadet at the Air Force Academy where I'm studying meteorology." He looked around a moment then sat down.

"General Sheppard. I'm Juliet Tompkins, currently a sophomore at MIT where I'm majoring in applied mathematics."

The string of introductions became a little bit of a blur though he was finally seeing names and faces together.

"Lynette Sheets. . . third-class cadet Air Force Academy. . ."

"Robert Davis. . . . sophomore at Rice University, majoring in Electrical Engineering. . ."

"David Houston. . . .Midshipman in my second year at Annapolis, training to be a naval pilot. . ."

The blonde young man seated next to Rodney stood up. "I'm Rodney Jonathan Miller, Rod, and I'm a sophomore at the University of Toronto, majoring in math. I plan to get a PhD in the states."

There were three left, all sitting at the back of the room. The girl stood up first. "I'm Janet Fraser O'Neill, and I'm a sophomore at Princeton and in the Air Force ROTC. I'm studying astrophysics."

"I'm Jacob Carter O'Neill, and I'm finishing pre-med at Harvard."

Finally, a tall, lanky kid in the back stood up with a smirk on his face. He was easily six feet tall, but he looked like he hadn't grown into his body yet. "I'm John Sheppard O'Neill. I just finished a masters at Cal Tech and I plan to go on for a PhD in astrophysics."

John felt like he was looking into a mirror. This kid looked just like he did at twenty.

"So I guess it's true," the kid continued as he sat back down.

John licked his lips. "Uh, yeah. When did you find out?"

"On the trip out here," said Jason.

"Yeah, they pulled us all into a room and explained things but swore us to secrecy until we got here," said Janet.

"Explained what? What meeting? I was on the ship and with you guys most of the time, so what are you talking about?" Rodney was totally baffled, a strange feeling for him.

Rod Miller looked at his uncle. "Uncle, we're all the children of General Sheppard."

The scientist was speechless for a moment, then he stood up and pointed at John. "You said nothing happened with my sister!?!"

"Unk, unk!" said Rod, pulling his uncle back into his chair. He quietly explained the circumstances, and the scientist leaned back, somewhat amazed that his nephew was a cross between John Sheppard and his sister, who carried some of his genes. No wonder the kid liked to fly.

John had been quiet during this exchange, clearly overwhelmed. Elizabeth stepped forward.

"I think that we will want to get to know all of you much better, and I know we will over the next months. You have all been debriefed, but this was a surprise some of us."

"Obviously," contributed John O'Neill.

The pause and the comment had given John time to regain his footing. "Well," said John, "first things first. Jennifer, come here please."

Jennifer, looking a little confused, came to the front to stand next to her father who placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Everyone, this is my daughter. That means that she is your half sister and is off limits."

Jennifer turned a fiery red. "Dad!?!?" she said in exasperation, sitting down quickly in the front row, allowing her hair to fall forward to hide her blush. Elizabeth was looking daggers at her husband, her expression suggesting that he had turned into a Neanderthal.

"OK, next thing. How many want a tour?"

There was a chorus of agreement and a shuffling as people began to stand.

"Chair room first?"

This agreement was even louder, and everyone began moving to the exit. Elizabeth and Rodney joined John close to the door to greet the young men and women more personally, while Jennifer, Edward, and Carson led the way to the weapons room, talking excitedly to their new siblings.

John O'Neill was the last out of the room and stopped next to the general. "I should tell you I'm the cuckoo in this bunch." At the general's confused look, he continued. "We all found out we were your children. But Dad explained, privately, that I'm a little different. The thing is, I'm really your clone. It seems that Dr. Lam pulled a fast one on mom and dad. So, anything I should know?"

John's mouth dropped open. A clone? It would take him awhile to get used to that one. From the look on Elizabeth's face, she obviously hadn't known about that either.

"Uh, no, nothing I know of, but we can talk more later," John managed to reply. "I hope you were easier on your dad that I was on mine."

The younger man smiled softly. "Whenever things got tough between us, he sent me to Grandad." He looked the general straight in the eye. "I still miss him."

"I do, too," replied John, his voice rough.

John O'Neill nodded and left to join the rest of the group.

The general looked over at Elizabeth and took her hand. She, too, still looked a little shocked, but she got a small smile on her face.

"Hmmm, another John Sheppard. I'm not sure about that. I wonder if he got your trouble gene with everything else?" She grinned and reached up to kiss him. As she pulled back and turned to Rodney, she realized he was looking confused.

"A clone? But that would mean he has the same genes you do, and IQ is largely genetic, so he would probably have the same IQ you do, and his IQ is two points higher than mine, which means that your IQ, . . ." Rodney paused and looked at John with dawning horror.

The general looked over at him with a smirk. "And your point?"

For once the scientist was speechless.

"Get over it, McKay," replied the general, offering his arm to his wife.

As they followed the group, she said, "See John? You did get to see them, and I think they turned out pretty well."

"No thanks to me," he replied, the old bitterness an echo in his words.

"Yes, you gave them the best raw material to work with."

He looked at her with his trademark half smile. "You think so?"

She raised an eyebrow back. "I know so. After all, we've had the same material to work with and I think ours are turning out pretty well."

"Was this your idea?" he whispered.

"No, but I agreed once they asked me." She turned to look him straight in the eye. "You needed to see the results yourself. You'll have a chance to get to know them since they will be around for the next two months as part of their summer term. And we can do this with another group next year. Now let's catch up to this tour before they have a chance to corrupt Carson and Edward."

And side by side, the retired leaders of Atlantis stepped out to introduce the next generation to the wonders of their city.

--The End--

**A/N: Comments on this or the whole story very welcome and appreciated.**

**A/N: I would like to acknowledge the work of SGAFAN. Her stories, Letter and Resolution, provided some of the inspiration for the medal ceremony in my story and contributed to the character of the older Colonel Sheppard. I know I was affected by many of the stories out there, so I hope I haven't offended anyone. It wasn't intentional.  
**

**A/N: When I started this I thought it would be three chapters at the most. There were only 5000 SGA fics. In fact, I had started reading SGA fic only a few months before, and it led me back to watching the show (I had missed most of the second season). I never thought i could write over 100k words.**

_**THANK YOU ALL for the wonderful comments. They really kept me going, and I finished in less than a year.  
**_

_**Now back to our previously interrupted programming, the dissertation... **_


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